r/ProgrammerHumor • u/Taken_out_goose • 5h ago

Meme itWorksFourOutOfFiveTimes

Post image
504 Upvotes

95% Upvoted

45 comments sorted by

64

u/sonaliver28 4h ago

Have you tried turning on literally any debugging tool?

'No'

23

u/ultimate_placeholder 3h ago

Linter? Like the thing in my dryer?

8

u/Random-Dude-736 3h ago

I had to import print as a function into python once, so .. yes :D

3

u/sadongrohiik 2h ago

Best I can do is a logging library 

52

u/the_poope 4h ago

Rust'ian Roulette

70

u/itijara 4h ago

Old Timers: Build better and better tools to make programming easier

Hipsters: Refuse to use those tools because "look how much better the old timers are at programming"

34

u/Luce_Bot_Bot 3h ago

My brother insists on coding in base C and Assembly.

He is yet to complete a single project despite being in his mid 40's

22

u/itijara 3h ago

Skill issue. C and "Assembly" (which one?) are perfectly cromulent programming languages.

12

u/Luce_Bot_Bot 3h ago

Definitely a skill issue, I imagine he just got tired of writing malloc at some point.

Not sure which assembly language specifically but he was writing a GUI for MS-Dos last I checked

7

u/gerbosan 3h ago

Oh, you mean he has incomplete projects like any of us? 😅

3

u/Luce_Bot_Bot 3h ago

Well yes, but I feel like his keep adjusting in scope and complexity for the sake of being unfinishable

1

u/TRENEEDNAME_245 2h ago

I was going to say, the amount of unfinished projects I have is...

Big

1

u/Wicam 12m ago

least he is having fun

11

u/realqmaster 3h ago

"Real programmers use a magnetized needle and a firm hand"

3

u/Confident-Ad5665 2h ago

As an old timer, give me a debugger I can use to step through code, add watches, and breaks any day over old school logging and console output.

That said, the back end dev I do does not have support for such fancy smancy things.

2

u/Daniikk1012 1h ago

Linus Torvalds, creator of Linux: uses his own fork of Emacs that pretty much only he maintains and doesn't have "modern" features like syntax highlighting.

Rob Pike, one of the creators of Go: uses Acme, a text editor with no syntax highlighting or autocomplete of any form, initially made for the Plan9 operating system (An OS which is no longer even exists).

It's all just up to preference and familiarity. People use whatever they're comfortable with.

1

u/PumpkinFest24 2h ago

I'm 53. I use emacs and terminal windows.

I never have an "upgraded" IDE I can't use. I never have remote work problems. I can develop/debug on any users desktop or production machine. My hands rarely leave the keyboard so I save all that context switching I watch people do trying to find the mouse cursor. Etc.

2

u/NotDuckie 1h ago

>I'm 53. I use emacs and terminal windows

Nice! What text editor do you use, though?

5

u/shy_bi_ready_to_die 2h ago

Quantum bogosort: programmer edition

2

u/Taken_out_goose 2h ago

Nice username

4

u/Percolator2020 2h ago

If it compiles, also, believe it or not, kill myself.

3

u/DeltyOverDreams 3h ago

Sooo… how many times this happened before?

2

u/Taken_out_goose 3h ago

About a dozen. Most of the time I just get some pedantic warnings and such. Also, most of these were under 1k loc.

3

u/pixelbart 3h ago

Vi? What’s wrong with Ex?

5

u/Lopsided-Parfait6237 2h ago

Ex? What's wrong with ed?

2

u/Gold-Bat-3225 3h ago

Skill issue guy is definitely the brother

1

u/Taken_out_goose 2h ago

Can't reply with an image, but I've heard of some mf developig a missile guidance system whose entire memory management solution was:

  • calculate maximum amount of memory needed during missile flight time
  • double it
  • done

1

u/ESnyder9 1h ago

double it?! woah, let's not get ahead of ourselves here. are we scrooge mcduck? so god help me if i need to strike a position with floating point precision above 8 bits i'm turning this missile around and blowing up this goddamn office and everyone in it.

1

u/tiajuanat 1h ago

IIRC it is the famous AIM-9X Sidewinder missile.

1

u/Taken_out_goose 1h ago

If they do that in a 9X I am going to shit diamonds.

Hmm, yes, best iteration of our simple, low cost IR missile with IRCCM, high off-botesight capability with near instant off-the-rail pull, advanced tracking, with thrust vectoring rear fin control for the first time in the series' history AND without rollerons on the rear fins, also, for the first time.

Let me just not give a shit about memory management on a 128x128 resolution sensor, with guidance unit equipped for radar cueing, data-link, Lock-on After Launch, and INS...

2

u/Emma_L92 3h ago

Real programmers debug with consequences

2

u/reallokiscarlet 2h ago

Sounds like someone needs ASAN

2

u/lonelyroom-eklaghor 4h ago

  • Use Sublime Text. Emmet there

  • Use Neovintageous plugin. Vim mode, happy

1

u/blaues_axolotl 2h ago

basically Linus Torvalds

1

u/Bright-Historian-216 58m ago

what does ASAN stand for, aside from the charity?

1

u/Taken_out_goose 58m ago

Address SANitizer

1

u/GoddammitDontShootMe 50m ago

I guess he's not going to be alive for much longer.

1

u/DDFoster96 50m ago

Not sure what you're bragging about as even with intellisense and syntax highlighting it still doesn't compile, and I'm now dead.

1

u/Aggressive-End3902 42m ago

Life time of a single compile

1

u/RatSumo 18m ago

I’m not going to lie, this is absolutely me with one exception: I NEVER expect my code to compile the first time. As a matter of fact, I get incredibly nervous when that happens.