Character Sheet

[u/No-Addendum6563]

Welcome to my thread. For the ttrpg, Slayers of Rings and Crowns (SORC), I've been given the task of restructuring the Character Sheet, so I put Abilities on pause for a bit.

Following the character creation steps, 1 - 12 (see link below), I was able to create my first full blown character, Brunn (again below). I did simulate the first level and quest, and he was grouped with three others, but this is my result. In the character sheet, I linked each area so people that want can read about them, but it is incomplete. It works, but there's more work to do.

Knowing it is a d100 system, we designed and formulated SORC so that it doesn't ask the target to roll to meet the attacker's roll. For instance, if a monster attacks you, you don't roll, he either hits or misses. It's all passive, see combat (protection score - PROTS) and Traits section for Difficulty Scores (DIFS), the latter uses the 7 Layers of Aura stacked with the Traits Score as the target number for attackers. It's not perfect, but it's faster (no table to look up) and it works. .

I want to ask.

1. Did following the 12 steps work? If anyone actually goes through the 13 steps, extra cookies for you :)

2. Are they in the right order?

3. Is it easy to read it understand?

4. Should data on the front and back be reversed?

5. Feel free to add your own comments and we appreciate all of the constructive feedback, even constructive criticism and those that have actually been constructive here have played a huge role. We thank you for that even if it's only as a Hobby.

Warning, In currently working on it. I recently forgot to close a div adding pagination and notable events to calendar.

- SORC Management

Anyway, here is the Character Sheet.

Brunn, LVL 1 Main Class Abilities: Fighter.

Note: There are no set classes. Players choose abilities that they can use if the proper READIED Armaments are drawn or Donned. See Readied Armament Drawn/Sheathed and Donned/Doffed, and various resting periods; Breather, Short Rest, Full Day.

[u/No-Addendum6563 → u/[deleted]]

I'm actually working on the Calendar right now. Ty. There is space needed, indeed.

[u/Echowing442]

I've mentioned this before to you, but there's so many little issues with the writing and layout that this is rather hard to follow.

You start by laying out the 12 steps to make a character as a clear, numbered list (good start so far), but then spend a whole paragraph re-explaining all of that in worse detail. You then talk about how a character's inventory tracks their items, which is so standard it shouldn't need explanation (and also doesn't belong in the "how to make a character" section of your rules), before explaining that your servers provide each character with a unique ID (not wrong to put here, just an abrupt inclusion).

You start strong, but immediately derail into pointless excess explanations that just make the whole process less clear. As I've stated, you need clear technical writing to properly communicate the concepts you're introducing in your rules. For example, this sentence:

Alignment (Lawful, Moral, Ambivalent, Amoral, or Evil, see Alignment, below) determines which Paths a Player can access once a Class Tree splits at Level 4, not which Class Tree itself, every Class Tree's Main Tier is open regardless of background.

This is the first introduction of "Paths" in your entire rulebook, and it comes as an afterthought to a completely different topic that loops back on itself multiple times. You haven't introduced your class system or its progression yet, and yet you're already using negatives to describe it in relation to multiple other concepts, which can easily lead to confusion (especially when class choice isn't even part of the main Character Creation process). This could be greatly simplified to something like

A character's alignment influences their progression options as they level.

The core statement remains the same, but now it's communicated in 10 words and doesn't involve multiple other concepts (Class, Path, Levels, Backgrounds, etc.).

I will say that for your order of steps, whatever you decide should b consistent between the steps in the document, and the overview at the top. You don't include classes at all in the 12 steps at the top, yet in the document they're sandwiched between Higher Power and Armaments. Neither of those are in your 12 steps either, and Races (step #2 in your list) is waaaaay down at the bottom of the page.

Your "how to make a character" page should give the reader exactly what they need to make a character and as little else as possible, with the rest of the rules being elsewhere and given the space they need.

[u/No-Addendum6563 → u/Echowing442]

I get it. This rough draft is definitely hard to follow.

You're absolutely right on the structure - Paths do get introduced tangled with Alignment, and the 12-step list doesn't match the actual document flow. Those are real problems. Thanks for pointing this out.

But here's where I think you're reading it too linearly:

You treated this like a tutorial that should teach one concept, then the next in order. That's valid for learning material. But my rulebook isn't structured that way. It's rather a reference document. Players will open to 'Character Creation,' then jump to 'Alignment,' then skip to 'Class Trees,' then back to 'Attributes.' They're not reading front-to-back.

So when Alignment explains Paths, it's not the first explanation - it's the Alignment-specific explanation. The full Path system is detailed in the Class Structure section on page 3.

The real problem you caught: someone reading front-to-back gets confused because I haven't given them the prerequisite knowledge first. That's the clarity issue worth fixing. Good find. I should add a brief structural intro early that says 'Classes split into Tiers → Paths → Branches' before jumping into specifics.

You're right the current order is bad for clarity, in its rough draft. Though you might be wrong that the whole structure needs to change, but you're right it needs a better onramp., and the right weapons need to be drawn to perform them.

The fact that Classes aren't chosen, and they it's their abilities that must follow weapon rules, makes this a bit tricky in itself.

[u/Echowing442 → u/No-Addendum6563]

You treated this like a tutorial that should teach one concept

It should, though. This is the section of your rulebook denoted as "Character Creation." The first section of the page lists all the steps needed to create a character. You've written the start of a tutorial, then jump immediately to other, unrelated concepts. A lot of your rules text feels like an outline of your rules concepts rather than a usable rules document, and this kind of structure is why. You also have a number of examples of contradictory information being given to the player. For example, in the 12-step process and the following paragraph, you state the following (Emphasis mine):

1. First Quest and Level Advancement - Geared up and ready for combat, your character gets their first quest (an easy task). After completing this quest, your character reaches Level 1.

... then select TST (Talents, Skills, Traits) through Professions and Talent Trees. Only after TST is finalized does the Character reach Level 1.

So which is it? Does a player start at level 0, select their TST, and then advance to level 1? Or do they need to go on a basic quest first? Again, consistency, focus and clarity will help not only the reader to understand what your rulebook is trying to teach, but also will help your team to keep a handle on the concepts you're trying to communicate.

As another example, the "Character Creation Flow" paragraph just under Alignment is just talking about how Alignment affects future path choices. It has nothing to do with the other 11 steps of the character creation process, so why is it listed under "Character Creation Flow?"

From your comment, you're expecting players to jump around between multiple different sections of a gigantic single page with no references or links, which just isn't feasible. Your "Character Creation" page here is just shy of 40,000 words, covering topics like the game's currency system, hobbies, Vitality, and the entire character progression system, none of which have anything to do with Character Creation. If you want this to be a reference document, separate from the "real" rulebook, that's fine, but you need to make it something that people actually can reference when they need to. If a player wants to learn what the exchange rate is between Electrum and Gold, or how character retirement works (the literal opposite of character creation!) why would they look at this page for that information?

The fact that Classes aren't chosen, and they it's their abilities that must follow weapon rules, makes this a bit tricky in itself.

I personally disagree with this statement. There are plenty of classless RPGs out there that do a fine job of teaching and explaining their core concepts. At its core, your game seems to function by limiting how often a character can switch their weapons, and by having classes that encourage/require certain weapons to use their abilities. That's not a complicated mechanic in and of itself, but the fact that different parts of those rules are split across 3 pages (of 20,000-40,000 words each) is what makes it "tricky."

[u/No-Addendum6563 → u/Echowing442]

This is another rule that got changed, so that slipped through there. Now that we took out the Armament requirements for "Tiers," the Characters reach level 1 after their first quest.

The rule now is characters can carry as many Armaments as their encumbrance allows, but can only ready 3 Weapons and can have one 2h or two 1h drawn. This is important because Ability Paths and Branches require specific weapon types, but characters can swap between the three at action costs. The weapon types grow upon reaching Branch. As far as armor goes, each Main Class has a threshold between delicate and composite grades. They can wear any grade they want, but if encumbered they cannot move (there's also light - safe - and burdened - penalty.

Retirement and Vitality need to be Character Creation because it's important the Player needs to know these things. Hobbies and Currency, not so much. Currency gas its own section under "Equipment & Items.

You're right that the page is bloated and confusing, but these topics are essential to mention during Character Creation because they directly affect creation decisions:

• Vitality affects how characters are built (Attributes determine Vitality caps)
• Currency affects equipment choices (players spend Starting Gold)
• Retirement Age affects age selection (40-year window for every character)

The problem isn't that these are mentioned in Character Creation - it's more:

1. They're not clearly linked to their dedicated sections (Vitality, Currency System, and Starter Set Store are all mentioned on this same page, but the connection isn't clear)

2. Explanations are redundant - repeating full mechanics instead of pointing to the detailed sections

3. There are contradictions - like the Level 1 confusion you flagged. We fixed this by removing the closing sentence of a paragraph.

The fix WILL BE to keep brief mentions of essential topics, link each to its full section, remove redundant detail, and resolve contradictions. Character Creation becomes a guided tour with signposts to deeper rules, not a stand-alone reference.

I do agree the rough draft is boated, it has the kitchen sink thrown in there and needs to be stripped down immensely, from 40,000 plus words actually.

[u/ToyDinkz]

You assert the following, which is contradictive:

• Alignment must be chosen before creating a background.
• Alignment is based on the back story.
• The background is the back story.

[u/No-Addendum6563 → u/ToyDinkz]

Yes that was a change in the rules. Background used to be called backstory and it used to determine character's begining alignment. Thank you, I'm scanning to fix now.

[u/jldez]

In case it helps, there's a tool I made to create character sheets from modular widgets. It has been popular in this sub because it can let you re-organized and quickly iterate on your design. Seems it would be helpful in your case : https://wackyweasel.github.io/UniversalCharacterSheet/

[u/No-Addendum6563 → u/jldez]

Hi thank you for this! We're going to touch this up in Canva, but I'll take a look at this tool and credit you for it as well.

[u/No-Addendum6563]

Echo, just so you know we'll be hiring an editor in chief. The extent of our writing skills, throughout the team, are videogame and ttrpg reviews, scholarly and educational training, and various ghost-writing sources, but none of us have written or published a book. I'll go over this, there are a lot and a lot of books because Essentia is a huge universe and we're a small team, but we want to complete this project, even if the content outside of the main planet Zailister (Zail), is minimal (at least at the beginning).

Edit: "are" not "is"