So there’s this guy (idk his age but definitely around mine) in my office that I’ve been crushing on for over a month now. We work on different floors but constantly make eye contact at the cafeteria (he’s been on and off with the eye contact 🫠). I managed to find his name and by fluke, his bike in the parking lot. He joined only about a month ago so is fairly new. Our office is based out of Coimbatore and the people seem pretty reserved. He comes to the cafeteria with the same 4 people. I really want to start a conversation but it is impossible to do so with these people around as they’ll definitely start talking and make a whole thing out of it. How do I tackle this?

I’m looking for ideas, advice, anything at this point. Would love to hear the guys’ thoughts too.

I matched with a girl from my state 3 months ago. We talked and met few times, and I genuinely started liking her. I’m 27, have never had a relationship or sexual experience, and was dating seriously with marriage in mind. For the first time, I felt I had found someone.

A few days ago, she indirectly told me about her "Trauma sex" following a breakup of a 3-year relationship. From what she said and what I inferred, her body count might be over 5 and I during the call said since I never had any realtionship, my opinion is anything above 2/3 is actually kind of no-go for me.

I was shocked and reacted emotionally, which hurt her and hurt me too. I never intended to shame her, but I understand why she felt judged.

Despite this, I still wanted to accept her past and continue. She, however, felt we would probably fight about it in the future and was reluctant to continue.

I also feel she may not have told me everything about her past (again from inference and few examples).

Other than this, we got along well. She loves music and attends events regularly; I don't. We both drink occasionally, she smokes while I don't(I tried but never liked it), and she's 24 while I'm 27. Honestly none of that bothered me, but really I feel she felt that I judged her. I sometimes joked about it just to tease her but never meant to hurt her. I am like that I joke with close people ( tough it doesn't mean I am never serious).

What hurts most is that this was the first person I genuinely saw a future with.

Women especially: if you were in her position, how would you view my reaction? And if you were in mine, how would you handle this? Was this something we could have worked through, or were our boundaries simply incompatible?

I’m looking for honest opinions and not “her past doesn’t matter” or “just leave her.” I want to know where I was wrong and whether she was right about the future problems.

I have shared some n*des and vdo calls like that with him. I have hidden my face almost every-time. This has been since 2022. i was like 16-17 then. He used to say he feels stressed and once his exam went really bad and so i shared it for the first time, first it was once in a month but then kept happening more often. When i denied in the beginning, he told me that its dry if i dont share it and a relationship isnt a relationship if such things dont happen. This got me scared that he might leave.

After we had an ”on off” phase, he kept requesting and saying that if i do it, he might think of coming back. And when i denied, he would sweet talk say things like we should try more, i m so attracted to u. I did it on his requests. He wont request so much at once, but over a span of days, he would say he cannot talk normally to me, he is stressed. Even in sext he abused me and i would do as much as possible hiding from parents.

now he has left, and when i asked him abt this,, his words were ___ its not a big deal to share such stuff, moreover he never enjoyed it much. And that it was my choice to do this so he isnt responsible for the choices i make, he told me i could have just moved on and denied, and he didnt promise to stay but i still decided to share intimate stuff. He then blocked me.

I feel depressed, visuals keep barging into my mind of me sharing this all. i feel as if i did everything he still left or was i being used but sometimes it really feels maybe i was just too much blind in love that i never bothered tho i have always hidden my face. But still it makes me feel i was not loveable withouth this factor. The thing that i am scared abt and its eating me up is how am i gonna tell this to my future partner. i myself cant move on and get over this fact. i feel regret, if he would have stayed i would have never thought abt this but now i feel abandoned. I sometimes feel very suicidal, my mother knows abt my breakup and keeps asking why am i so attached, have i met him or shared some nudes and i start crying everytime that happens it breaks me down. i cant get over. i hide it from her.

I know people will call me dumb and i accept that.

TL;DR by chat gpt___ OP shared nudes/videos and sexual calls with her boyfriend from age 16–17 after he repeatedly pressured her and made her fear he would leave. He later broke up, blamed her for choosing to share them, and blocked her. She now feels used, ashamed, regretful, and struggles with intrusive memories, fear about future relationships, depression, and suicidal thoughts.

I (27M) am in a relationship with my girlfriend (27F). We started dating with the intention of getting married, and she made one thing very clear to me at the beginning: since she is a Brahmin and her parents are very strict about caste, she was scared that she might end up hurting me. She even asked me whether we should end the relationship at the very beginning.
However, everything between us matched very well. I have known her since our school days, when she was in my school from 7th to 10th standard. We later reconnected when she moved to Gurgaon for work, and we started dating. We have always been very compatible, and we genuinely love each other.
I told my family about her because I didn’t want to meet someone else through an arranged marriage setup when I already knew whom I wanted to marry. Thankfully, my family accepted her without any issues.

Now, when she spoke to her parents, they clearly said no because of our different castes and their concerns about their image in society.
She is still trying to convince them before she comes back from her hometown, but there are certain boundaries for her because she doesn’t want to leave or go against her parents either. She keeps saying, if sab Aisa chla then let's not stretch because it hurts with guilt and accept whatever happens as God’s grace.

What should I do now? I want to ask her to at least tell her parents to have a conversation with me or with my family before making a final decision. I feel that if they are going to say no, they should at least hear us out once and understand our relationship and intentions.

My cousin is in a wrong relationship. Her boyfriend just uses her for travel,eating out and he never pays .He always says that girls are gold diggers and real girls are those who spend money on their partners and he always uses her for notes, books and never returns it ,he does not come from a good background socially and financially compared to my sister and always sl*t shames girls who in there group that have chosen partner who are of their standards (not richer not poorer than them) I met him talked to him and came to know there mother father also have a troubled relationship their parents are also have a very wrong mentality and they support his extorting money from his friends, by the way he uses everyone amoung his friends.He is such a loser that he shouts at my sister for buying her chocolate when she had low sugar and she didn't have money she asked him and he shouted at her that you can't control it and said everything is expensive in the college canteen and gave her a silent treatment after that and manipulated her that he was worried for her.

Look i also had friendships (still have them )where I had people who were not that financially well off and I paid for them when they didn't have money but they never used me they always helped me they never had this mentality of using me they were very nice and always supported me and our families are also very close.But this man has been on my nerves for the longest time he is pathetic he is just using her for money and my cousin is so blind in love that she never sees the red flags . I really love her she is the most naive, and sweetest person I have in my life I just want her to see through how wrong this person is . I just can't see her like this where the person is just tormenting her I want her to focus on her career rather than this fool.Now this fool also wants her to change her career because it is not aligning with his career goals . I am really crying writing this .What should I do?

​

I’ve been with my partner for around 5+ years We recently registered our marriage in India because we were both living abroad and he was having visa issues, while I already had a job . We got legally married, went abroad and have now been married for just over five months.

However, things have deteriorated quite quickly since the marriage.

Over time, I’ve become increasingly frustrated with his behaviour. I feel that he doesn’t take enough responsibility, isn’t making much effort to find a job, and has become quite lazy and dependent on me. These were concerns I had before getting married, but after marriage, I feel like they’re affecting me much more.

I’ll also be honest and say that I was the one who initially started bringing these issues up through arguments. I wasn’t trying to end the relationship at first. I wanted to address the concerns I had and see if we could work through them. But his responses during those arguments made things worse. Instead of us being able to communicate and resolve the problems, the arguments became more intense, and eventually I started questioning whether I wanted to continue the marriage.

I also don’t feel emotionally or sexually happy in the relationship anymore. I feel like I’m carrying most of the responsibilities — financially, practically and emotionally. And honestly, I keep asking myself: if I have to do everything myself, what is the point of having a partner?

The difficult part is that we’ve been together for seven years. This isn’t something I’m taking lightly, and I still care about him. But at the same time, we’ve only been legally married for around five months, and I’m already feeling this unhappy and questioning whether I made the right decision.

I’m trying to understand whether I’m being unreasonable or whether these are valid reasons to consider separation.

Let me tell you my story.

I met this girl near where I live and we happened to be headed back home at the same time one day. And just by one conversation alone, we both realized that we would want to get to know each other better, but couldn't get to admit it. She found my contact from somewhere and we started talking more and soon went out, where we exchanged many world views.

The following weekend, it was Netflix and Chill (we had sex). My first ever. We were inseparable. I had never felt such passion towards anyone. She kept asking me where I was her entire life. I also realized we are actually very compatible. I could understand her very well. I developed even more feelings for her. Many times she insisted that I don't go, but I had to go off on an assignment (work related). We thought of moving in in a few months after she found a job near where I worked. But here's where it started to go south.

Her mother's colleague's wife died, and their son has known her since high school. So, the girl's mother decided that she would get married off to him. She told me about this in a way that gave me the impression that she is not interested in that marriage, that it is an obligation. But she was feeling guilty. Guilty, because this boy had been with her through thick and thin, and it didn't make much sense because I grew up learning that other's good deeds don't bound you in a way that makes you compromise with your choices. But she, however, needed time to think.

I waited for 2 weeks, and only felt hurt from the silence. I told her that she needs to make up her mind. She started speaking as if nothing had happened and kept giving me reassurance. I grew more suspicious of the sudden change in tone. I knew something was off and I couldn't be more right. Because the next day, I got a call from her number, but it was this high school sweetheart instead. And he told me to never reach out to her again. He didn't let me speak and kept cutting me off. Soon he blocked me from all her socials.

Anyway, I found his number from somewhere and contacted him a few days later. He told me that they weren't just high school sweethearts, they were college \*and\* workplace sweethearts. They had been in a relationship for 5 years. And I found proof soon. I had nothing further to ask, because she had explained this person as someone from her *past*. She left out a lot of things. But despite all this, I cannot muster up any anger for her, or curse her. That is the extent of how much I loved her. And I will forever hold a soft spot for her.

I can only understand one thing from this, and that is, she did not love herself. But everyone around her loved her more than she ever will.

I don't know what happened with her, or whether it really was her call. Maybe she thought I couldn't look out for her financially. Maybe I wasn't that good in bed. Maybe the long distance thing was too unstimulating for her. Or maybe she was abducted by the so called boyfriend. I will never know. But without any clarity from her, I will forever live with these theories that will haunt me for a good amount of time. All this started 6 months ago, and perhaps writing this post now could finally give me closure.

But I think I'm done with relationships in general. I know everyone is just busy with their options and casual flings, and they can enjoy it for a lifetime at the cost of each other because it's not like hurting someone else's feelings so badly could be a real crime anyway, right? And I've accepted that I am solely responsible for losing my own peace, regardless of who is wrong or right. Save you the victim blaming of how I need to have a better texting game with women.

I've even stopped believing in Karma, I have **never** cheated on anyone.

I know I am spiralling, but it feels right to. I don't know why.

TL;DR she cheated on her boyfriend with me and I started having feelings for her and then she led me on, then told me about the boyfriend as if it was nothing but unavoidably got married to him because of family pressure.

You’ve become patient, almost stopped talking, while they go about their life after nitpicking you and reducing everything you shared to the parts of you they found difficult.
The moment you start chasing, they start taking you for granted and lose respect. And perhaps that is the cruelest part—when you love someone enough to keep explaining, apologising and trying to fix things, they can begin to treat your willingness to stay as proof that they can keep putting the blame on you.
When I first met this guy, he had almost nothing going for him. He was extremely isolated and aloof, struggled with his confidence and social life, and was dealing with several personal issues. He couldn’t even communicate comfortably in a coherent social sense. I didn’t see him as a project—I saw someone I loved and cared about. But I did so, so, so much for him. I encouraged him, helped him get things checked, supported him through things he was struggling with and watched him slowly become more confident, comfortable and fun.
He actually took my pointers into consideration. He grew. He became a much more rounded and grown individual. It genuinely felt like watching someone go from being a boy to a man. And eventually, he became incredibly attractive to me—not because I had somehow “fixed” him, but because I loved the person he was becoming.
And then, when he became more confident and socially comfortable, he left me with the guise that I was “too much.”
Yes, I had a difficult phase. Yes, I needed more reassurance, consoling and love than usual. Yes, there were moments when my reactions were unreasonable. But a bad phase is not a personality. A few difficult weeks do not erase three years of love.
A part of that difficult period came from the undue pressure of the future, and instead of understanding that I was going through a phase where I needed reassurance, he chose to see me as a burden. He failed to understand that just because I needed reassurance during a bad phase did not mean I would forever be calling and needing assurance 24x7.
I was already becoming more aware of myself. I was learning to regulate my emotions. I was journaling, practising self-love, becoming more mentally active and trying to build a life where I could be more self-reliant. I wasn’t asking him to carry me forever. I was trying to become better.
And yet he chose to leave before seeing any of that.
That is what hurts.
I can accept any pain I caused. I can acknowledge where I could have handled something better. But I cannot accept being called manipulative simply because I expressed my feelings, or being labelled by things that I know do not represent who I am.
When I apologised, accepted what was genuinely mine and tried to work on myself, I thought that would create space for understanding. Instead, it felt as though the more accountability I showed, the more blame was pushed onto me.
It became his coping mechanism—to make me the problem so that leaving could feel justified.
And in that moment, his pride smuggled our love out of the equation.
He didn’t look at the three years of love. He looked at one difficult month and decided I wasn’t the one. The irony is that there was a time when he ran behind me to convince me, when he made me feel as though I was the only woman he would ever want, when he promised me love and undying affection and made me believe he understood every hesitation and concern I had.
So what am I supposed to make of that now?
I feel used—not because I regret loving him, but because I gave so much of myself to someone I believed was building a life with me, only to be made to feel disposable when I became the one who needed patience.
I never expected perfection from him. I only expected the same grace I had given him.
I always told him that even if we weren’t ever together, I would at least want us to be sweet and cordial. Instead, he ran away from the ending without giving me the accountability, warmth or humanity I thought our relationship deserved.
He made me feel like I was wrong for showing him a vulnerable side.
Perhaps I should have known that even the people you love may not have the capacity to hold every version of you. But I refuse to believe that being vulnerable makes me manipulative. I refuse to believe that needing reassurance during a difficult period makes me unworthy of love.
And I refuse to let one person's version of me become the truth about who I am.
I was still developing. I was still figuring out life. I was still learning how to regulate myself, manage my time, balance my emotions and become the woman I wanted to be. I deserved some grace for that.
I was willing to work on my grievances, my schedule, my habits and myself. I was willing to become a version better than the one he saw during that rough patch. I was willing to build a beautiful life ahead.
He simply didn’t want to stay long enough to see it.
And maybe that is his choice. But it doesn’t make his version of me the truth.
The most painful part is that I trusted this man with my heart. I was honest about my mistakes. I became forthcoming about my flaws because I believed love was a safe place to be imperfect. And somehow, the very vulnerability I trusted him with became evidence against me.
I don’t want to chase anymore.
I don’t want to keep explaining myself to someone who has already decided that every attempt at communication is manipulation. I don’t want to keep proving that I loved him, that I was sincere, that I was trying.
I want to keep practising self-love. I want to journal, grow, build healthy habits and become completely self-reliant—not because someone left me, but because I deserve to know that I can hold myself.
And perhaps the hardest truth is that sometimes you help someone become the person they were meant to be, only to discover that they no longer choose you once they get there.
That doesn’t mean your love was foolish.
It means you loved someone sincerely.
I can own my humanity without accepting a false narrative about my character. I can acknowledge that I had difficult moments without accepting that I was the problem. I can regret certain reactions without regretting the love I gave.
Dating can make people believe they can leave at any time, but long-term love requires more than the ability to walk away when someone is going through a bad spell.
If they think they will marry somebody and never have difficult seasons with that person, they are living in a delusion.
I don’t need to convince anyone anymore.
I know what I gave.
I know what I tried.
And I know that one difficult chapter does not erase the woman I was throughout the rest of the story.
I hope someday we both can laugh. I am not somebody who can carry negativity for someone for long, I hope we both someday talk peacefully and understand each other and laugh and get on with our lives. I don’t think I can be with someone who has been so drastic to me by the end. But hey, that’s life! You signed up for it (΄◉◞౪◟◉｀)

Had a great relationship with someone for a year, and suddenly when his parents asked him if you wanna marry this girl, he ended up going into deep thoughts and finally realised that he is actually not ready for commitment. Ended things with me. We’re still in talking terms since we see each other everyday cause of our hobbies and work.
But anyway, our bond was (is) absolutely amazing and I don’t understand what he is scared of.
He did have a bad breakup in the past….so yeah.

​

Is this actually a thing for some people or am I overthinking it?

A few days ago I was out with a guy who is quite younger to me and we saw a couple on a bike. He said something like, “I also want to roam around on a bike with my girlfriend like that.” I said it jokingly like “Bro, do that with your wife, not your girlfriend.” I meant it in a light way, like if you get into something serious, try to make it official.

He immediately said no. Those things are only meant to be done with a girlfriend.

This isn’t the first time I’ve heard this kind of thing.

Another friend I was talking to had just gotten his heart broken. He's much older in age. His girlfriend ended up marrying someone else. I told him maybe try to build something with the girl he eventually marries (his family is conservative, so arranged marriage is pretty likely). He said he wouldn’t love her like that.

These conversations keep making me wonder: why do some men already treat marriage / having a wife as a burden or a formality instead of something they can actually look forward to? Why is the girlfriend the one you enjoy life with, and the wife just… responsibility?

I’m not sitting here dreaming of an early marriage. But even if I end up in one, I’d want to treat my partner as someone I can enjoy the small things with, not just someone I “have to” live with.

Can someone explain this mindset to me? Is this common or have I just run into a few weird takes?

24F here, Absolutely frustrated with life in all aspects.

Just a little rant session to make my heart lighter.

There's 3 characters in my life who changed all the views and hopes I had for my love life. All 3 were from my college. First one was when I moved to Mumbai for work . Back then he (M21 )was my friend's lab partner. He was all lovey dovey when I was away. The day I told him I booked my tickets to come back home to college for final project review everything changed. Suddenly, he had too much work, and when I went back to college, he didn't come to see me the 1st day but just came and said hi the 2nd day and that's it. He started behaving differently, didn't bother to ask how I was doing when I literally had a panic attack one day in college, and this guy got audacity to ghost me irl. He used to talk to my friends and pretend that I didn't even exist when I literally was standing next to the same friends he was talking to.

It did hurt me very badly so to spite him I spoke to my long term crush and told him I liked him and we started talking. I know it was wrong but my friends made me do it as it was our last day in college and to leave without expressing would make me regret all my life. So, It turned out to be a very bad situationship. He didn't wanna put efforts because of his past trauma yet we made it work for 1.5 yrs I was understood by him he was caring, calm, and would listen to me yap after a very bad day, but again he used to ghost me for weeks and reappear. It was toxic. Then one random day I stopped reciprocating, and I stopped replying to his texts because it was affecting me mentally. I've sworn of men because of these two.

Then came the third guy (M23) the final nail to my love life coffin. We basically started talking from my birthday he wished and asked how was life in Mumbai.. some casual talks and then one random day he said he had crush on me back in college and didn't dare to talk to me because he was introverted. He spoke rainbows and sunshine, got me emotionally attached to him before even meeting. I was practically thinking of taking care of his mother once we got married.

He promised me things and understood me; I felt like I found "The ONE". He used to do WFH because of the holiday season around december and whenever he goes back to his office, he used to ignore or more like he understood my routine and used to text exactly when I was free. Felt like he literally knew me but little did I know, He had a girlfriend in the city where he works so whenever he went back, he went back to her; that's why he ignored me.

Clueless me believed he really was busy working. Fast forward 2 months into us talking he posted a story in his IG, and a girl commented on this story. It was unusual, so I stalked her account, and I was able to see comments under her post like how a boyfriend would comment. I saw a post on her account which was recent when he was talking to me. My heart was broken. I asked God why is this was happening to me totally gut-wrenched and didn't talk to him properly, but this guy is so smart; he knew I would've seen that comment and told me that this girl likes him and he's not interested in her.

I, as a stupid person, believed his words and went on since this was long distance and we couldn't really meet still. Fast forward to 3 month into us talking he never initiated meeting me, and he was back home due to his commitments. Took advice from my friend, and I started using Bumble only to make him jealous and when I told him I had a date and that guy was just 3 hrs away from my hometown, his work city was the same distance; never has he ever told me that he would come meet me, hearing this said he would meet me that weekend and planned every fucking trip he could go on with me just 2 days before he got exposed.

Now this was the conversation we had imagine planning a whole trip let's say from Kashmir to Kanyakumari and he was silent the next two days. As I was occupied with personal work, I didn't get time to text or call. 2 days, later he told he went out with his friends to a korean restaurant and took pics and sent it to me to select pictures to post in his IG. while this was going on one side my childhood friend visited me after a long time so we were debriefing about our love life. As I was telling to her about this guy I told her about the story incident and wanted to show her the profile but I was not able to view her account. I genuinely thought she deactivated her account(how stupid of me ) and asked my best friend to check from her account. she was unable to view then my childhood friend told me we could check from her account since the girl's account was public. Turns out this guy has blocked me and my 2 best friends from his girlfriend's account so we won't stalk her. this was the time when ghibli art was viral she posted him in the art form, literally hard-launched him and the korean restaurant he told me about earlier it was with her and her friends and he was sitting right next to her while sending me pictures of ramen bowl.

I didn't confront him I was heartbroken and stopped talking to him. After 6 months, on his bday I wished him because I wasn't really able to let go of him fully and he asked me what happened why did I stop talking to him. In return I asked him was he talking to me to fulfil his emotional void ? he wasn't able to answer it gave me a lame excuse saying he genuinely wanted to talk to me . I un-followed him everywhere but after that incident it's been almost 1.5 years I am not able to trust any guy and there's zero interest in talking to men. Hate men and able to find out their pattern and lies. also, I recently stalked that girl's account through my friend's account he was taking good care of her like I didn't even exist to him went on to live his best life with her. Maybe that girl didn't even have a clue that this so-called perfect boyfriend of hers was emotionally cheating on her. There's no one loyal to their partners, and I am still not able to move on from this even though I don't have feelings for this guy and absolutely want to smash his head if we ever cross paths.

I recently dated someone, I was unfortunately a rebound even though I had clearly communicated I was looking for a serious relationship.

She was not over ex. It made me feel so inadequate. The effort, emotions, small little /gestures weren't getting reciprocated. I felt like I was being compared to her ex. I felt not enough too. Is it normal to feel this way when your partner is not over their ex ? Things ended as she wasn't putting in efforts.

Been married for around 4.5 years and dated for over 8 years before. Things did not work the way we expected to work and slowly we grew apart.

Partner moved out recently. Neither of us know exactly what drew us apart but we fell out of love. I don't know what to feel now. At 30, I don't even know where life will take me now. Has anyone else been through anything similar?

I’m 27M and my GF is 27F. We’ve been together for 4 years. She’s from MP and is Brahmin, I’m from Tamil Nadu, Hindu but not Brahmin.

My family accepted her from day one. It took almost 2 years to convince her family, with a lot of fights, but finally both families agreed to our marriage.

Now we’re having a serious issue.

Her family tradition expects around ₹4 lakh worth of gold. I personally don’t believe in dowry, and I don’t want to take a loan for gold just to show relatives. I’m still repaying my education loan (₹1.9 lakh pending). I recently got promoted and take home around ₹1 lakh/month, but I also have family responsibilities.

She says she’ll give the gold back to me after marriage, so I can sell it and recover the money. I was actually starting to consider it from an investment point of view, even though I don't care about gold personally.

The bigger issue is where we will live.

We met in Bangalore. Six months ago she moved to Pune for a better job. I supported her and even went with her when she moved, stayed for 3 days to help her settle and spent around ₹30k including brokerage and other expenses.

Initially she said she'd come back to Bangalore after marriage. Now she says she likes Pune and wants to stay there. I understand that moving back is difficult, and she has her own EMIs too.

So I told her honestly:

Either I can take the ₹4 lakh loan for the gold, OR I can move to Pune and start our life there. I cannot financially do both.

I’m not saying I won't compromise. I’m saying I can make one of these compromises, but not both.

She also recently asked me for around ₹60k for the rental deposit in Pune. When I said I can't manage that right now, she told me I’m not capable.

That really hurt.

My take-home is ₹1 lakh, but that doesn't mean I have ₹1 lakh of disposable income. I still have my loan, responsibilities towards my mother, and we don't even have our own proper home yet.

I love her and don't want to lose a 4-year relationship over money. But I also don't want to start married life with multiple loans just to meet family expectations.

Am I being unreasonable by giving these two options?

Should I just take the gold loan and move to Pune, even though it will put me under financial pressure?

Or should I stick to my boundary and say I can move to Pune, but I won't take the ₹4 lakh loan?

I’m really confused and would appreciate honest advice from people who have been through marriage involving different states/cultures and family traditions.

2 days ago my boyfriend and I broke up and since then I've been feeling like I lost almost all my human connections, he was my only friend that really knew me , he knew everything about me my good and my worst, literally everything. He loved me really deeply and it just hurts me more knowing how much he loved and he still let me go???

I have been struggling with family problems and my mental health has been the worst it has been and that's mostly the reason we broke up, i just didn't feel satisfied with the relationship but at the same time i wanted to be together, I just completely lost myself and I became unsure of everything. I told him that I lost myself loving you and I'm hurt by his actions for context we had a really bad phase in our relationship because of him. But we got back together but I couldn't be the same as I was . You could say I lost my "Spark" . There are a lot of things about our relationship and why the breakup happened but I still feel like He gave up on me and at the same time i feel like i shouldn't be anyone's responsibly. I just felt like writing my thoughts out here because i can't really talk about this with anyone . It's a really tough time for me in so many ways.

Need some advice cause I am an textbook overthinker

Hey guys before i tell the full story I just wanted to put out that there really are some gray areas in the story. So I ( 25M ) met my girlfriend ( 24 F ) in our college ( she is my junior ) . And when we started going out initially she already had a boyfriend ( she told me after a few weeks so I was completely aware of being a third in a relationship ) post that a few months later they broke up and we've been together ever since. Coming to the main part we were in a ldt for only a few months where I was in another city cause I was working there. Recently I moved back to the same city. Last week a few friends from our college batch met. One of my friends ( not that close ) while we were drunk said something about my girlfriend ( i was drunk so do not remember exactly what she said ) but u remember her saying ' tujhe nahi pata ? ' ' drinks ' and i think she said ' mujhe laga tum dono ka over hai ' . Now this has been bugging me since then. But since i do not have the full info I cannot do anything. What should i do can y'all please suggest?

Just for clarification - my girlfriend is completing her degree while the friend who told me this works in the same city.

This is going to be a long one. Please read the whole thing before commenting because there’s a lot of context. I know some parts will make me look bad and I’m not trying to hide that.

I’ve been with this guy, let’s call him T, for almost 2 years now. A LOT has happened in these 2 years and honestly I’m very confused about what I should do.

Before T, I was in a 6 year relationship with S. It was very serious, our parents knew about each other, and if things had worked out, we would’ve gotten married.

In 2024, my first job and met T during our online training. It's his first job too.We’re from different states. Initially we were just talking/flirting, sexting and eventually got very close. We weren’t officially together, but I definitely had a huge crush on him. He wasn't serious for me. Around that time, because of some family pressure, I got back together with S. I told T about it and he got super mad. He started abusing me for it. I told him that I didn’t actually want to be with S and that it was mostly because of family pressure, but I know what I was doing was wrong.

Eventually T and I moved to Hyderabad for our internship and got physical. A few days later, T told me he wanted me to leave S and be his girlfriend. I did. Anyway, I had to do it but not so abruptly.

A few days later, T asked me to delete my Instagram because it had a lot of old posts and memories with S. S wanted to meet me for one last time for closure because I hadn't given him any, i kept refusing but I eventually met him as i thought he deserved it. T found out and wanted to break up with me. I begged him to stay and that's when he made the Instagram deletion a condition and he basically said he would leave me if I didn't. I was completely emotionally invested, so I deleted an 8-year-old account which had years of memories.

A few days later I logged back into that old account because I regretted deleting it. I didn't tell T. I didn't use it to talk to anyone or do anything with my ex. I had just regained it.

Around 8-9 months later T found out. He broke up with me and said I had cheated on him and was hiding a whole life from him. He got the password, logged in and even posted a picture of us on that account because he thought I might be hiding another boyfriend.

He also called me and my mom horrible names, called me a slut and all and said a lot of things about my character. I was completely broken and kept begging him to forgive me.

At this point I had basically no friends left who I could talk to because all of my friends were mutual.

I desperately wanted someone completely neutral to talk to, so I started talking to a random guy from Instagram. He listened to everything about T and gave me advice and even supported T wherever needed. Eventually he developed feelings for me. We met once at an OYO, but nothing sexual happened. Not even romantic. I told him I couldn't be with him and blocked him and said that it was a mistake.

The complicated part is that during this period T had already broken no-contact with me. He kept saying he would never get back with someone like me, but we were still talking and sexting and he said it would only be physical. I agreed because honestly I still wanted him back and thought this might somehow lead to us getting back together.

A few days later T told me he was willing to give our relationship another chance. I immediately agreed.

Then I found out he had spoken to his ex while we were broken up. I felt horrible and told him I couldn't do this. This time HE begged me not to leave him and eventually I agreed to stay.

Then he found out about the guy I had met while we were broken up. He saw a photo basically a mirror selfie with the guy standing behind me with his lips on my head.

This is where I want to be very clear about the abuse, because I think this is important context.

T physically assaulted me after finding out. He slapped me and kicked me. This wasn't just one angry argument or shouting. He physically hurt me many times.

He also verbally abused me, called me a slut, insulted my character and said horrible things about my mother and family. He showed that picture to his flatmates, siblings, friends and our mutual friends.

And despite all of that, I was the one begging him to take me back.

For a few days I would go to his flat, cook food for him and take it to him, hoping he would forgive me. He would slap me or kick me and push me out of his room. He even told his flatmates not to let me in. I was being physically abused by someone I was desperately trying to get back together with.

Eventually we went no-contact for around a month.

Then he contacted me saying he missed me and wanted to give me another chance. I agreed.

For the next 3-4 months things were extremely toxic. He had my passwords, I removed guys from everywhere, stopped talking to people and basically isolated myself. I even left our friend group because they started disliking him over something that had happened and I chose to take his side.

Things eventually became somewhat better and he slowly started trusting me again, it took months of efforts and love and care and i didn't talk to any guy except him and my office mates ( related to work)

For the last 8-9 months, I’ve basically been doing "wife duties" for him. We’re both working IT professionals. I make chai for him multiple times a day, cook for both of us, take care of him, listen to him, help him with things, etc. while he was preparing for a job switch.

He switched jobs and moved to Bangalore. While he was there, during one fight he told me he couldn't see a future with me because he's Jain and I'm Bengali, and his family is very strict and he won't go against them. I knew this but he had always said that he would try to convince but this time he was sure that he wouldn't take a stand or go against his dad. He also mentioned that even his siblings wouldn't support me because of what i did to him ( cheat on him with that guy).

Whenever he asks for my Instagram account credentials i always give him, otherwise he would think I'm hiding something, and if I am genuinely busy and don't give him the password instantly then he assumes that I am deleting chats or something.

But he has never given me his account in 2 years and he still doesn't. Although he isn't hiding anything or cheating on me (i occassionally check his phone) but yeah this Instagram thing is one sided in our case.

He eventually got another job in Hyderabad and moved back here. I've even helped him search for a flat here.

But that thought is always in the back of my mind- what exactly am I doing here?

I've tried breaking up with him so many times and somehow I always go back. I know I've made a lot of mistakes in this relationship and I’m not trying to portray myself as innocent. I lied about the Instagram account. I met someone while we were broken up. I made a lot of bad decisions. I understand why he lost trust in me.

But I also can't ignore what happened to me.

He has hit me. He has kicked me. He has called me and my mother disgusting names. He has controlled my social media and passwords. I isolated myself from friends because of the relationship and never gave me his because he said that i was the one who cheated not him. And now I'm basically doing everything for someone who has already told me he doesn't see a future with me.

I genuinely don't know if I'm doing the right thing by staying. PS- He hasn't physically or verbally abused me since that incident ( it happened 10-11 months ago).

So Reddit, what do you think?

I'm 19 M, my crush is 18 F. She's my classmate.

I talk to her sometimes, but when we're sitting together

It feels like there's something between us, like I feel that she also feels it. If I talk about her, she's really cute to look at, she's short so when she smiles she looks like a doll. She sometimes comes and sits next to me, at that time she keeps her hands on my thighs. If there's anything on my face she'll fix it. I go to the gym, and when I wear a t-shirt she'll say 'let's see your abs' and touch my stomach. When I take pictures with her, I end up blushing. Sometimes when she walks with me she holds my hand (holds onto my bicep). I enjoy all this, but I don't know why — if anyone asks her about me, she says 'we're just friends.' If anyone says anything bad about me, she'll fight them, she'll defend me. I don't know what all this means.

Does she have feelings for me or not?

And if she does, what exactly is it??"

I think I'm slowly accepting that I'm an old-school romantic living in an era of “let's see where this goes” and disappearing acts.

My last relationship/situationship ended with the classic: “You deserve better. You'll find someone better than me.”

And honestly, that one confused me more than it hurt.

Because as far as I knew, I was doing almost everything right. I showed up, communicated, cared, made an effort and genuinely enjoyed what we had. It wasn't perfect, but it was good. Which is probably why having it end so abruptly still feels a little strange. Sometimes I catch myself thinking, “Wait, what exactly happened here?”

But I did learn something from it:

You can't be enough for the wrong person.

And I don't mean that in the bitter “everyone is terrible” way. Sometimes two people can have something genuinely good and still not be right for each other. I suppose that's one of those adult lessons nobody particularly asks for.

If you've ever had a “but we were actually good together, so what the hell happened?” story of your own, I'd genuinely like to hear it.

And if nothing else, maybe we can compare notes on why modern dating feels like a social experiment nobody consented to.

I’ve noticed matrimonial sites and AM forums seem much older than the ages at which many Indians actually marry. I’m curious whether younger matches mostly happen offline through relatives, WhatsApp biodatas, community networks, local bureaus, etc.

When I look at Shaadi and other matrimonial sites, 21–24-year-old profiles definitely exist, but they seem much less common than profiles in the late 20s and early 30s. This becomes especially noticeable after applying caste/community, language and location filters.

I notice something similar on Reddit: people discussing their own AM searches seem overwhelmingly 25+. Obviously neither Reddit nor matrimonial websites are representative of India as a whole.

But marriage statistics suggest that marrying in the early 20s—particularly for women—is still far from unusual in India, although this varies enormously by region, community, education, urban/rural background and socioeconomic status.

So where are the early-20s arranged marriages actually happening?

Are younger matches more likely to happen through:

- relatives/family friends and word of mouth?
- WhatsApp/biodata exchanges?
- local marriage bureaus or caste/community networks?
- parents finding someone without creating a public matrimonial profile?
- younger profiles matching relatively quickly and disappearing, while older profiles remain visible longer?
- younger people simply being less likely to discuss their AM search online?

I’m also curious about what people consider too early to start the AM process, as opposed to actually getting married.

For men, would starting at 22–24 be unusually early nowadays? What about 24–25?

For women, is starting at 21–23 still normal in your community, or would that now be considered unusually early?

By “starting,” I mean meeting and talking to potential partners, not necessarily marrying immediately. Someone might start looking at 22 or 23 and marry a couple of years later.

I’d especially like to hear from people who started AM or married around 21–24, or whose siblings/friends did. How was the match found? Were matrimonial websites involved, or was it through family/community connections? And is searching at those ages different for men and women?

I'm 20F and he's 21 , and we have been dating each other for about 4-5 months. So I just wanted to ask , if you refuse to show yourself naked on video call , is that bad ? I mean he's very good at communicating and he loves me more than I love him.. that's a fact. And we meet every month but for 4-6 hrs. And in every meet we try something new... And this time we had sex and it was the first time for both of us.

And now he's saying that , show me ur body , he wanted me to be naked.. and mujhe sharam aa rahi thi , mujhe bohot sharam aati hai aise chizo main. I mean he's a very kind and compassionate guy. And if I say not to do that whenever we meet irl he won't do it. He has self control and he wants to improve for me and he does that everyday. He's everyone's dream guy , he buys me gift , he listens to me. But showing urself in the videocall. It's something I don't wanna do or I need time for that .. and he said ki hamne sex kiya hain and I have already seen everything so what's the problem , isme kyu sharam aa rahi hai , and aap aapne partner se todi na sharmate ho.. I love him and I know he's the one for me but he was like .... I got a feeling that he's blaming me or making me feel guilty ... I mean I wanted him to say whenever u feel comfortable or why are u uncomfortable showing me that.. I wanted him to act like that , so what should I do...

In our relationship he's most of the time right , he's good at communications, at loving me. So I thought may be he's right here also ..

Work in tech, remote. Most of my free time goes into reading news probably more than is healthy, and randomly getting into Urdu poetry, philosophy don't really know why it started but it did.

Went through a breakup recently, not gonna get into it, but it made me notice I don't really have people to talk to about the stuff I actually think about. Not saying I'm some genius or anything, I just like getting into politics or why some currency is crashing or ykwim right and most people I know either don't care or think it's a weird thing to bring up.

Anyway not sure if this is even the right place to ask but does anyone know where people like this actually hang out? Book clubs, discord, subs I haven't found, literally anything. Would appreciate any pointers.

My boyfriend and I have been together for over 4 years, and we are seriously planning on getting married. Right now, we are long distance. I discovered that whenever we are apart, he installs TikTok to watch provocative girls dancing, then completely hides or deletes the app when I'm near. He has never admitted to having an account. He also watches porn every night of girls who look like me.
My issue isn’t just that he watches things while we are far apart. My fear is the future. What happens 10 years from now when I lose my youthful charm, or when I'm pregnant or ill? Knowing he is jerking off to beautiful ladies online at a time when I'm vulnerable would break my heart.
I have told him repeatedly how much it hurts when he looks at these girls. He had an addiction to this content before we even met, but the worst part is how he uses it now. Whenever we have a fight or if I am angry and crying over this exact issue, instead of being emotionally available to me, he shuts down and prefers to go watch those girls online. I don't know how to react anymore. How do I handle this relationship heading toward marriage when this pattern keeps repeating?