For context, my spd is caused by complex post traumatic stress disorder.

For many years now, I have found anything 'warm' and 'homely' to be very overstimulating, triggering, too much to handle. It doesn't seem to tie back to any particular experiences I've had in the past, or trigger any specific flashbacks or memories (I have a history of being severely abused sexually physically emotionally by multiple family members, alongside multiple partners who turned out to be abusive)... It's just this feeling of sickiness, dissociative state where I am not mentally present, severe uncomfortableness, stiffling-ness, claustrophobia, panickyness, whenever I am around very warm colours without any cool tone colours mixed in or to balance things out. Homeley warming scents like cinnamon, baking, wood, warming flowers like lavendar and rose, and lighting that is orange/yellow (I do alot better with white or blue light) seem to trigger and overstimulated me too. I can't deal with very bright lights either, just enough to see clearly. I cannot tolerate warm food or hot drinks (I wait until they get down to room temperature) or when the thermostat is turned up too high or the weather is too hot and humid outside as this brings me into the same dissociative, triggered, distressed state where I just have to get away from it all.

I only feel safe, grounded, and not overstimulated when surrounded by rooms with cool tones like blues, cool-toned browns, greys, greens.. muted dulled colours, not harsh or bright. The only scents I seem to tolerate are fresh scents like citrus, ocean, laundry, pine, alcohol gel, laundry, that kind of thing. Holidays like Xmas are impossible for me, and I avoid Xmas like the plague and isolate myself from everyone for those few days because the 'homely' scents and fresh baking and warm cosy colours and yellow lighting and candles are too much for me to cope with. I cannot go to restaurants and pubs that have this homely vibe and that feels like being in a sauna when they have the temperature ramped up beyond the point of cosiness and the lighting is so yellow it looks like theres some kind of hidden fire somewhere; I decline any invitations to these sorts of places as it's too much for me, which makes me a bit socially isolated. It also affects me as I've had dates say I smell like a hospital or I smell 'clinical' or like a cleaning cupboard etc. because I only wear citrus/ocean/alcohol gel type scents instead of the warm coffee or chocolate or vanilla or 'warm' scents they express interest in. Or I've had people come round my home and say it doesn't feel like being at home or feels like a ward, office, doesn't feel 'lived in, or again the 'clinical' comment (my home is cool tones of blue and grey, with white lighting and citrus ocean scent), temperature is not freezing, but a comfortable level of fresh (18°C there abouts). I guess I'm not the norm, and that most people, guests, family, friends, dates, prefer being in warm and comforting place. It's really affected my dating life, and the lack of getting involved in Xmas really isolates me also. And the thought of moving in with a partner and having the home decorated with warm colours and scents and yellow light or who wants me to go to all these homely restaurants or pubs or who wears warm scented perfumes or room sprays just shakes me to a point of unease that I would not want a relationship at all. It's really getting in the way of my life.

I wouldn't mind so much if these things were just preferences or mild announces or things to try and avoid but not be too bothered by if I couldnt... But the pain and extent these things trigger me is uncontrollably severe to the point where I feel physically sick and unable to concentrate and completely panicky, distressed and disociated by these warm colours, warm scents, hot food and drink, bright lights, etc.

Does anyone else experience such strong aversion to warm, homely, stiffling things (and can only seem to tolerate cold cool tones, white or blue lighting, clinical or fresh scents), to the point their life is so heavily distressing and impacted by this...