r/Screenwriting • u/anokhsingh8 • 16d ago

FEEDBACK Short Script Feedback (6 pages)

Hi all, requesting feedback on my short film script, 6 pages, sci fi. I will be shooting this short in one month.

Title: The Human Preservation Project

Genre: Sci Fi

Here's the link, happy to read any shorts in exchange!

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1eV1zVQQwCbtQYfvS6PkR0k5217XvnjrL/view?usp=drive_link

Thanks!

3 Upvotes

100% Upvoted

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1

u/Kolkaata 15d ago

Access required. Can't read it.

1

u/anokhsingh8 15d ago

sorry fixed, thank you

1

u/DalBMac 14d ago

You write well and nothing made me go, Huh? Just a couple thoughts: It seems to lack emotion. I realize a short doesn't show a huge character arc, but it seems to be a series of well written action sequences without emotion from human Joy other than, Get me out of here! It feels like a setup for something but not yet a complete short. The other thought is it reminds me of the opening of Severance. Not a bad thing, just doesn't seem fresh. Could you accomplish the same thing by having Joy in a different setting?

1

u/anokhsingh8 14d ago

Thank you for reading, great points, I've pm'd you!