Everything's got orifices, that's the law of the galaxy.

She kept saying how she "senses great depression". It was a real downer.

Hello crewman of the Riviera this is your captain the very Caitian Crish Fo’Larn, I seem to be having trouble remembering some things. Must be a leak of radiation somewhere, it’s not important, are there any federation secrets I’ve told any of you lately and what were they if I did? Just asking because I’ve forgotten some things. There’s a promotion in it for the first crewman to show me any kind of secret ship schematic

He’d never broken the law before….at least not severely. And yet he gets 17.9 years house arrest or 20 years in a penal facility. Cyrano Jones is a civilian! That swaggering , tin-plated dictator with delusions of Godhood doesn’t have the authority to portion out sentences!

Oh wait. Thats right. Starfleet are just humble “explorers”.

He gave the station a flea infestation. Cute purring fleas. Uhura did the same thing to the Enterprise. TSA has better screening!!

Scotty killed thousands of Tribbles. Gave a planet a famine and caused a genocide. Scotty bioweaponed a Klingon vessel!

….but it’s Cyrano Jones who gets a couple of decades.

But seriously …the dude just sold a few Tribbles but the episode keeps pulling him back into focus. “And get me Cyrano Jones” . Spock runs a background check. AND sneers at his livelihood! Baris helps himself to Jones ship logs.

Hes no monster like Harry Mudd. Mudd gets the wacky karma punishment. TWICE (see DISCO)….Jones gets 17.9 years.

The trill we saw in TNG greatly differed from those we saw in DS9. I think I figured out the answer as to why.

Back in the day, a trill scientist visited earth and brought home samples of drugs like cocaine, steroids, lsd, etc. Through a complex comedy of errors involving the peels of trill fruits that look a lot like bananas spray painted red, they ended up dropping these substances in the Caves of Mak'ala where they were quickly devoured by bored symbionts who hadn't been joined before (can you blame them? The pools are boring as fuck most of the time). These symbionts quickly gained superiority complexes and self isolated from the other symbionts and due to a lot of inbreeding ending up looking like those colorful parasitic freaks we see in TNG. Their hosts are simply trill who have Messed up really bad (thats what the M on their foreheads is for) and were surgically altered before joining so people don't confuse them with the cool trill.

I sent this to some of the writers and they all called me a moron, what say you guys?

Like they dont get to go around and do terrain empire stuff but they can visit whatever planet they wanted and made first contact with whomever they wanted?

Since the food we eat today would be nothing compared to the healthy clean wholesome food of the 22nd to 24th century

He’s just so cute, you know? His pasty greenish-yellow skin. His flat, crooked horse teeth. His droopy black eyes and angry eyebrows. That fuckass bowlcut. The way his ears fold back a little when he’s annoyed like a kitty cat. Besides popping pills to grow new kidneys and letting holodeck klingons rip them out and play double-dutch with my ureters, it’s the only pleasure I know these days. I’ve been so hollow and aimless since the accident. I moaned a little when he missed the nerve by a millimeter and had to try again last time. I’m planning on sucking my lips and tongue into an erlenmeyer flask in the lab when his pon farr rolls around next month (I saw his bloodwork, it’s coming) in hopes he’ll lose it and bash my head in with the blunt end of his tricorder in a fit of rage.

Seriously, this is the third time this week I've had to clean out a bunch of rocks from a control panel after someone reported it not responding. I bet it's Steve in stellar cartography.

Unarmed and unafraid, Alexander stood against the enemies of the Klingon Empire.

He takes off that VISOR when he goes to sleep and there are these red blinking lights on his temples. Damn things kept me awake all night.

Everyone remembers the menace of Groppler Zorn, Chakotay’s past as a boxer, and the fact that Travis Mayweather had a brother. These are just a few of dozens of iconic, captivating Trek scenes that have seeped into the popular zeitgeist—try walking down the street without hearing someone mention the Vaaduar or quote Arik Soong.

I thought it would be fun to compile a list of underrated Trek moments—scenes that only dyed-in-the-wool Trekkers would know about. Feel free to add your own!

(Note that I’m not including any DS9 moments since it’s the show that caters most to normies. I work in education and my Gen Alpha students just won’t shut up about Enebran Tain.)

—Top Ten Underrated Star Trek Moments!—

1. Spock’s sacrifice in The Wrath of Khan
2. Picard becoming Locutus
3. The last scene of ST VI
4. Edith Keeler’s death in TOS
5. Picard joining the poker game at the end of TNG
6. Janeway’s decision to split/execute Tuvix
7. “The Measure of a Man”
8. Darmok and Jelaad at Tenagra
9. Kirk showing mercy to the Gorn
10. Data being “fully operational”

And I’m not even talking about the legendary Kirk-Fu.

In Gamesters of Triskelion he offers to fight ANY thrall one on one. With as much confidence as if he’s playing a round of Fizzbin. And even though he balks at fighting three at once, he still handily wins.

In Fridays Child, he’s fighting one of those 6’4” goons and Spock and McCoy are just watching!! He offers to fight the Klingon. And the Klingon is instantly fearful.

All that said, in the pecking ranks, he loses 2 of 3 or 3 of 4 to Captain Tracey. Tracey even looks bemused some of the time.

He also got knocked out by (checks notes) council members?? In A Taste of Armageddon. But he made up for it later, defeating them with some sort of “Bowl them all over” move

It's hard to put my paw on it, I just never believed the actor in the role of 'cat'. I understand they went through several different performers and it doesn't surprise me. I mean they knew how to sit and stand like a cat, but just, did you ever get the sense that Spot was aware of the fact that they are a cat on board a space ship? Sometimes I wonder if Spot even knew they were on a TV show at all.

I understand Spot was constantly missing cues. They'd have to coax the actors out of hiding with treats and little toys. Do you think Patrick Stewert needs treats and toys to know to deliver his lines? I've also heard that the Spot actors were constantly late, often napping during long shoot days, and that Spot would blow take after take refusing to just sit there or be held by Brent.

And I honestly just never found Spot's "meows" convincing. I hate to say it, but there's more to being a cat than just dropping in "moew" every few seconds you are on screen. Where's the energy? The passion? I heard some rumblings that a lot of the purring was ADR added in post and that would not surprise me.

I do lay some of the blame upon the writers. I don't think they ever really understood cats or the cat lifestyle. They seemed to routinely forget what shade of furr Spot was supposed to have. It being the 90s I can't imagine the Spot actor taking it kindly when they were told they were apparently supposed to be female all along. And the writers routinely never gave Spot anything interesting to do. There's no episode where Spot saves the day or gets stuck in the holodeck or delivers a long stirring monologue that is allegorically about the human condition. Jones in Alien, he got to stare down a xenomorph. What does Spot get? To run around the corridors because the door stop existing for a second?! I guess I would have like to get at least one Spot centric episode. Why not let Spot be the lead in I dunno, Parallels? Or Face of the Enemy? They could even cross the character over and have Spot play a role in Move Along Home.

Ironically the only time Spot really worked for me was when he, well she was played by an Iguana.

From: W.T. Riker

To: Maintenance, JLPicard

Subject: Door Name Change #3

Captain: Someone keeps changing the name plate on the door to my quarters. Last month, my door name was changed from "WT Riker, Executive Officer" to "WTF Riker, Excellent Orifice."

I thought this was a computer error, so I requested Maintenance to fix it. Several days later, my door was labeled, "Jamaharon Lounge." I learned my door lock code was being sold in Ten Forward so crew members could use my quarters for sexual activity while I was on duty.

Today, the name plate door to my quarters has been changed. Again. My door name plate now reads, "Harry Aszchieks: Number Two"

This "joke" has gone on long enough. I do not appreciate this humor and my patience is at an end. Could you please address the crew and tell them to stop? Thank you.

W.T. Riker

Executive Officer

U.S.S. Enterprise-D

We promised them a case of ice cold Dasani water if they’d scoot some bombs inside. Then we gave them room temperature Great Value, just to be dicks.

Did he have a disorder or something?

This fact was hidden from the cast and even Tasha did not know in the scene she gets killed by Armus. The actor, Mart McChesney, played by J. Combs* was a method actor and Gene knowing this, wanted the most realism (and also the lawsuits from 'The Naked Now' to go away) allowed him an escape.

They made sure Tasha was away from the main actors in the scene and Armus will zap her with grape jelly (which appears on her face in the next scene). It all went according to plan. Ms. Denise Crosby would never appear on TNG again.

To this day many still believe this was scripted.

*-Not proven, yet.

It's the only logical explanation.

Also, the aliens' second head sometimes vomits acid, which explains why there's a torpedo launcher there on the most common Nebula-class variant.