r/SingleDads • u/shenther • 2d ago

Just venting

It's been almost a year since my last attempt to date someone ended. To be clear we separated because her life got too complicated suddenly with something private. She wasn't the mother of my kids. It was only 3 months but they were good. After the whole thing with my kids mother it was nice to feel like I mattered and to have someone kind to both me and to my kids.

The issue I have is simple. It's been almost a year and my kids still ask about her. I said she moved back to her birth country. I'm scared to put myself out there fully and I feel like my kids are suffering quietly because of that. I do everything I can for them but I can't be a mum. They know I'm lonely but I hope they don't know I'm scared.

I won't go into details about the relationship with their mother but I will say I have primary custody of my kids and the mother is meant to see them every 2nd weekend...meant to. The last time she cancelled when I told the kids they celebrated loudly which is both sad and awkward that any child can feel that way.

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4

u/peptic-horizon 2d ago

You were together for three months and you introduced her to your kids?

No offense brother, but what the fuck were you thinking? That's a very stupid thing to do.

A year. Minimum.

1

u/Prophet068 1d ago

6 months before i acknowledge i am talking to someone, but yeah a year before we start doing things together.

1

u/shenther 2d ago

I don't know if this is better or not but she was my cleaner for like a year prior. My kids knew her as the cleaner who was nice. We dated after she stopped being a cleaner. Also to be clear she asked me out.

1

u/Prophet068 1d ago

thats slightly different, then you knew who she was, and they knew her, that i understand more.

0

u/Blue-Sky-Ahead 1d ago

Hey, my ex met a guy online and had a bedroom set up for our kids all within the same month! In comparison, this guy is extremely patient lol. I do agree with you, though. Three months is a bit quick for a full on Introduction. 'Running into each other' at a fair or event for a small window of time, a little different imo.