Hello y'all.
I wanna understand how things went downhill in terms of social interaction, specially at the start of my high school years (circa 2014). Usually I'm not much into talking and chatting due to my psychological condition and I tend to be very introspective, but I never refuse a good discussion with someone. To know more about the other person, to understand their motivations, explore their unique POV, even when it goes against mine, it still amazing to me to witness a different way the world around me manifests to someone other than me. Watching how this same dimension we're all in still materializes differently for each individual soul.
I absolutely love discussions and debates with others, however, like I said, when I started my HS years, I noticed that almost everyone became gradually less receptive and open, specifically when it comes to different/opposite opinions. Over the years, watching how the global social blanket has shifted tremendously, I could see how things turned out to be what they are now. Yet, I confess I still don't know why. It natural for the world to change, but it changed in a way I just don't comprehend. More specifically, here in my home country, I feel like there's just been "silence" everywhere I go. I mean "silence" as "I can't talk about this... no matter what.". I feel that certain topics I used to normally talk about as a child in public, if bring them up as an adult, I have to be extremely careful. But it's not any kind of careful. Depending on the topic, I must be very, very, very careful with each little word that comes out.
For a person like me, who already deals with a mental condition that makes me anxious about anything happening around, having my mouth "monitored" almost 24/7 makes me feel even worse. And, sincerely, just writing this confession alone, using such words, will still cause a lot of stir among many people, and not in a good way, even when I don't have any bad intentions. Euphemisms, metaphors, symbolic language... even when being "implicit", it still feels too "explicit" to write. When someone asks for my opinion, even when I answer "Well, maybe..." or "It depends...", even when I keep neutral, it still problematic for some people.
Not everyone will be receptive of your opinions, not everyone is going to agree with you, and these are straight facts. Yet, to me, personally, having a different opinion than most about a specific topic, it transcended the "weird" barrier. Nowadays it got into "problem" area. And to be fair, ever since childhood, my family taught me to be honest and it turned me into an upright individual. However, maintaining this valuable trait of mine, specially in today's society, feels more like a curse than a gift, 'cause the amount of times I had (and still have) to lie, pretend and disguise myself as someone I'm not feels just... PUTRID.
There's a lot more I'd still love to talk about, but I think it'd be too much for here. So, for now I'll leave you guys with this.
Thank you all so much for your time and your understanding.
Good Night.
P.S. I originally posted this on r/confessions, but I thought it would be interesting to post it here also to see how much discussion this could make.