We just finished recruitment at our school, and in a year where we desperately needed new members (1/3 of our chapter is graduating this year), we ended recruitment with only four women in our MC. Our school is very small (around 70 women went through recruitment), so this isn’t as bad as it could be, but the other five houses all had between 10-16 new members in their new class, and we were already the smallest on row. I’ve heard our chapter’s plans for addressing the practical issues of our lack of members, but I’m really struggling with the emotional side of all of this. I was already feeling like I was doing something wrong during recruitment, and this feels like a confirmation.

On campus we’re definitely considered the “bottom house” to anyone silly enough to care about those things. Our members are nerds and goths and compsci majors and power lifters and queer and neurodivergent and all the other things you get bullied for in middle school, and we’re happy. My chapter is made of the most amazing, loving, passionate women in the world and I’ve never felt out of place there. We’ve always made it a priority to be authentic and genuine —— I don’t want to sound all “not like other girls” because that’s reductive and mean but we obviously attract a different type of person that the other houses. Which is the point of having multiple sororities on campus in the first place, of course, but it’s clear from our general reputation and the kind of members we attract that we’re not a house for “typical sorority girls”.

We’re looked down on by a lot of the other houses. In recent years we’ve been heavily encouraging our members to support and build relationships with all the other houses and to stay connected with the rest of row but even now when in talking to my friends in other houses it’s clear they don’t think of us as a real sorority, or in the same level as them. And that stings a little, but as long as no one’s harassing our members, and we’re still being kind to the other houses, then it doesn’t matter what other people think; We’re confident and we love each other. And for a few years after COVID that attitude seemed to be a point in our favor, we were attracting people who liked how we prioritized authenticity and inclusivity. But this year it just didn’t work.

From what I’ve heard from our members who were recruitment counselors, rushtok was big again this year, and pnms were constantly talking about what they’d seen on TikTok, who was top house, what they needed to wear to get a bid, etc. Theres nothing wrong with that, obviously social media is a huge part of our lives and is going to inform what people think of when they think of a sorority, but it really does feel like this year pnms came in with really strong ideas of what a sorority should be, and our chapter just didn’t fit the bill. A LOT of pnms chose to suicide bid other houses, which has been offered as a big reason why our numbers were so low. It just feels like a slap in the face. Like I know no one thought we were cool, but people are usually kind enough not to say it out loud. Being actively rejected by so many pnms--I know you shouldn’t take it personally, but I’m taking it personally.

We drilled HARD during spirit week. This was my second recruitment season and the difference was night and day. Everyone in the chapter worked incredibly hard, and we were constantly drilling conversations, transitions, etc. Our new social media director gave us a huge upgrade online and we’ve been constantly posting since last January. We definitely weren’t perfect, but I truly don’t know what our recruitment team could have done differently. It feels (and I acknowledge this may not be true) like the only thing we could do differently is to be less…ourselves. I joined this chapter because I met women who didn’t ask me to shrink or change for them, but encouraged me to grow and become the best version of myself. I wouldn’t be right to ask anyone to abandon that.

We have a plan for moving forward. We’re heavily marketing COB, increasing our campus involvement, reaching out to basically everyone on campus about joining Greek life. I know it’s a culture issue, I know we can bounce back, I know that the kind of people KD attracts aren’t the most likely group to go through primary recruitment, and that’s why our COB efforts have always been so successful, and it’s going to be perfectly fine and I shouldn’t take it personally. I just feel like this recruitment season has pulled up a lot of feelings I haven’t dealt with since I was a teenager. Idk it’s like I really did find my people in college and during recruitment when I have to step outside of that safe space and interact with literally anyone else it’s just a reminder that I actually am a weird ugly loser. Like there’s a version of being a woman that I’m somehow doing wrong, and I’m never going to figure it out. It just really hurts.

And I don’t want to admit to anyone how hard this is hitting me. Morale is low in the chapter rn. A lot of younger members have had the experience for the first time of pouring your heart out to someone during pref, hearing them say they feel completely at home here, then seeing them go somewhere else. They’re struggling too, and a lot are looking to me for advice and I want to tell them to brush it off and not be hurt because they’re amazing and of course they shouldn’t take it personally. And my friends outside Greek life still think I’m insane for being in a sorority, I can’t ask them for help bcs they just don’t get it. I thought I was past the point in my life when my self-esteem could take such a huge hit in one day, but apparently not.

Does anyone have any words of wisdom or advice? I appreciate anyone taking the time to read such a long post. I’m sure once the immediate hurt has faded everything will feel a lot better, but I’m reallly struggling and I don’t know who else would understand.

Also I’m an advisor so like it’s fine lol

My sorority just recently jumped from 1,700 a semester to 4,500 a semester because of a chef and some renovations. This insane jump has made it hard on me and my parents this semester just on the first payment. I know people say to meet with the financial people, but we get presentations and it seems there’s not much help other than going inactive or doing scholarships. But this is like a $1,000+ money problem, and our scholarships only go up to $500.

My school scholarships help but it’s not enough. Does anyone know of public scholarship websites for sororities? Or even the best sites for school scholarships since I could always apply for more. My sororities scholarships would overall cover $1,000 but I need more help.
Or has anyone gotten their financial advisor to let them do 4 split payments instead of 3? This place is my home and i don’t want to leave. I’m a junior and all my soul sisters are here in the house

i’m a senior, and i’m interested in a D9 sorority. I’ve been attending events consistently and talking with the girls to try and get to know them. I heard that they will have a line this semester. However, because im graduating this year, im nervous that i wont be selected. I also dont have a 3.0 culmative average, however my semester gpa is above a 3.0, that itll be a bad look. however i do have over a 2.5- 2.89 to be exact ( culmative and semester 3.7)

additionally, one of the girls who’s in the sorority i went to high school with. we never really talked and even before she became a member we would see eachother and not talk at all. I’ve been trying to talk to her at events and it’s like talking to a brick wall, it just feels really awkward but i try my best and make conversation with her. I feel like she will probably tell the other members and i may already be discounted because of that.

Because I am older, i try my best and talk with the other girls who are also interested in the sorority, but i am a bit shy, so i feel like if information did come out about rush, i wouldnt hear about it because i dont really socialize with the others. i try my best but im shy and everyone’s clicky.

however,most of the girls i lived on the same floor with( only for a semester) so i follow them on IG and i am familiar with them. Two of them im friends with, aswell as the president of the organization. I’ve been texting her, but i feel like im being annoying. I was going to ask her to get lunch. I was also thinking of asking the girl i went to high school with to lunch but in reluctant because she’ll think im only trying to befriend her because she’s in the sorority. i also don’t want to be seen as a try hard or get talked about.

I may ask my friend or the president to lunch , but if i do ask im not sure how to go about it? should i say im interested in the sorority ?my aunts who are apart of the sorority said i should.

also, i have night classes this year, so i wont be able to attend the events as much as i did last year and im afraid that it’ll hurt my chances. i just feel so much anxiety and nervous. especially because of the girl i went to hs with.

any advice ?

I have a bunch of old shirts, partly from an alumni giveaway we do at the end of every year, part of it from my big, and part of it from when I went through recruitment. They aren't shirts I would actively wear (due to the fact the dates are really old/I think its weird to wear a primary recruitment shirt long after I rushed) so I was wondering if anyone had any advice about what you guys did with your old shirts you wouldn't wear anymore. Thanks!!

my gf and i are in different sororities— she’s in charge of socials for her chapter. we have to do a sister sorority event tg and someone else suggested doing a frat wedding, but between us.
we were just curious, has this ever happened before?

My mom is in her mid 70s, and she told me growing up that her biggest regret in life is not joining a sorority. So a few years ago, I found out about Alumni Initiate. I told her, she joined a chapter, and loves being a member of a real sorority. She is now involved in the alumni (from local colleges, not initiatives) in our neighborhood. All good for her! Yay mom!

Here's the issue. My daughter is a senior, and will be applying to colleges. She would like to rush a sorority and my mom is very gung ho to write a recommendation letter for her. But my mom joined 5 years ago, and it's not from a college. And, I know, alumni initiate is a real member. But will college girls know what the heck this program is

Context: was at a house I really enjoy and accidentally mentioned a 5 b

Was in reference to what music I like… said I liked Charli xcx for that kind of party vibe… so stupid. I’m not even someone who drinks and goes to frat parties, I just meant I like to “jam out” idk. I quickly changed the subject.

Will I get dropped?

I’m VP of recruitment for my chapter. Formal recruitment is coming up soon, but I truly feel so defeated because of so many things.

Our director of marketing, who was responsible for our recruitment video, didn’t make one. I had to resubmit our video from last year. Which is not a good look.

Girls keep dropping because of finances or dropping out of school. We’re down to about 15 people in our sorority. Last semester after recruitment we had almost 40.

I’m worried about my actives recruiting. For most, this is their first recruitment. Thankfully, most of them went through primary, but I’m still nervous that most of them are new to recruiting.

I’m just feeling very defeated about my chapter. I love my girls but it just seems like nothing is going right. We don’t look as appealing as other sororities on campus, and I’m worried girls won’t give us a chance during primary.

Any advice is helpful.

Hi there I was wondering how you would be able to wash a line jacket at home? I don’t want to ruin the embroidery. Dry cleaners are my second option. Just curious if there’s any home methods.

Hello ladies! ❤️

In the most respectful way, I have a genuine interest in Delta Sigma Theta and would love to become a part of the organization, its mission, and sisterhood.

I already have my AA and was very active at my previous college through campus jobs, community service, and other involvement. I recently paused my education after joining the Armed Forces, so I’ll likely be returning to school in about a year.

The school I’m looking into has a Delta chapter, but because I’m active duty, I would most likely be an online student and not living on campus. I’m also unsure of my current GPA (I believe it’s in the 2-point range), but I plan to improve it before returning.

One other thing I’m unsure about is that I’m currently a member of a non-D9 sorority that I genuinely love. I’m wondering if that would affect my eligibility to pursue Delta.

I’m not looking for any confidential intake information, just general guidance on what I should be looking into regarding eligibility, GPA, being an online student, military obligations, and current membership in another sorority.

I’d really appreciate any guidance or direction you ladies are comfortable sharing.

Please be kind with your feedback as I am trying to learn right from wrong
Thank you ~

I'm in Phi Sig at Stevenson university and I feel like I should go out for it since we need three people from our group on the panhellenic board and three people from Phi mu. I'm scared because I have never done anything like this.

My rush experience was not at all what I thought it would be and I just needed somewhere to vent about everything that has gone on.

I am a junior transfer student. Going to community college was a great decision for me but I knew it would limit my time at a real 4 year university. I specifically chose my current school to transfer to because I could afford tuition, Greek life, honors college etc. which would not have been within my budget at the other schools I toured. I honestly didn’t even consider the possibility of not joining a sorority because my school is so small comparatively. I also have only two brothers, and I have always wanted a sister for as long as I can remember.

I dropped on preference day (which was the night before bid day I’m not sure if that’s universal) after only getting invited back by one chapter on preference day and knowing deep down I couldn’t go through with it. A lot of girls go through recruitment differently though. I was definitely more focused on the philanthropies and values I felt passionate about, while most of the girls in my rush group were going simply based off of vibes (also totally fine). I did not connect with the philanthropy of the one chapter that invited me back, and while I had some good conversations with the girls, I did not want to join a sorority that did not resonate with me whatsoever simply out of desperation for the experience. I could also feel the toll it was taking on my confidence each day I came back. Rushing as a junior, it was incredibly difficult for me to withdraw knowing the risk I was taking. I could barely say it because I was literally choking on my tears but I walked up there and told them I would like to withdraw my name.

The recruitment process brought up multiple insecurities of mine that I honestly didn’t even know were there before. They describe philanthropy day as the day you will meet with 3-5 chapters, but when I arrived on that day I only had two on my schedule. This made me feel very discouraged because I truly was just not expecting it, and seeing the other girls in my group and how many chapters they planned to see, I felt so disappointed. I never thought I would cry over recruitment. In my recent years I have learned to handle rejection much better, or so I thought until this week.

It all feels very superficial and I tend to invalidate my own emotions sometimes, so I’m struggling to know what is real right now and what is fake. I was the only girl sitting alone on meet your gamma chi night, but I tried to stay confident knowing how many girls I would meet throughout the week. Once we got our chapter day shirts, they didn’t have any smalls left for me (we give them our shirt size when we sign up). I struggle to fit even in XS sometimes with store sizes varying all over, and I often resent brands that I don’t feel as “feminine” in because I am too petite to fit in their form-fitting items. I have often felt like there is not much room for me in the fashion world period, and these emotions were brought up again once I got my medium sized shirt that went down to my knees. I shrunk it and did what I could to feel as good as possible for my chapter days. I wore exactly what I like to wear, did my makeup exactly how I like it, and talked about all the things I love when I met with the chapters. I truly tried as best as I could do be myself and not blend in. Now I am questioning if just being myself is enough to make me memorable.

If I had known there was a chance I would only get two chapters to meet with on philanthropy day, I might not have felt so rejected. Out of the two chapters that wanted me back I did have one I very much connected with though. Their philanthropy was gerontology and Alzheimer’s research, so I asked the girls all about it. My grandfather and his mother both had Alzheimer’s, and back home I work at a retirement home. I was so excited about the possibility of raising awareness for something I am so passionate about with all the sisters I would potentially have.

I am also feeling a little guilty about it, because at the end of the day, there WAS a chapter that wanted ME and spoke highly of me. I know that if you feel discomfort that means there’s growth, but it also just didn’t feel right. I even got a DM already from one of their girls, but I just fear that I would always wonder in the back of my mind if it is really the chapter for me. Bid day was yesterday and I literally had to delete Instagram because I kept seeing all the posts.

If you are still reading, thank you. I am so happy for all the other girls that had a great experience, I truly am. I just wish I could relate to that amazing experience, and I wish that I had sisters that I wanted to run home to yesterday.

Hi, I was wondering what your AOII Alumnae initiate experience has been in terms of activities you’ve been a part of. I’m looking at it from a time management perspective and your level of busyness. If it’s a doable thing for me? I take commitment seriously and need to know what the expectations are, thank you so much in advance for your perspective.

I was at this event at our school that shows off all the clubs. I said hi to the aka‘s at their booth, 1 or 2 said hi in a standoffish manner, that was it. I didn’t really get what was going on so I just walked off awkwardly after looking quickly at their table. Did someone not inform me on what to do?

Hi! I’m a sophomore this year and I’m going through recruitment however I live 40 mins away from my campus and I also work so I’m not sure how that’s gonna work since the girls I met they live either on campus or nearby. My school doesn’t have any chapter houses and I’m also an exercise science major taking 15 credits and I’m just worried about time commitment and since I’m only on campus 2x a week I’m worried I’m going to miss events and bonding activities. My goal is to make friends since I don’t know anyone on campus and freshman year was really lonely any tips?

I have a question for anyone who has been a Rho Gamma/recruitment counselor, recruitment chair, Panhellenic officer, or advisor.

I’m currently going through formal recruitment at a large university. We were told that our schedules for the next round would be released at 8 AM and that everyone would find out then, including PNMs who received no invitations.

Around 11:30 PM the night before schedules were supposed to come out, my recruitment counselor texted asking if she could call me quickly. On the phone, she told me that unfortunately no chapters had invited me back and that I should not come the next morning.

I’m a little confused about how she would already know this if schedules had not been released yet. I also went through recruitment at the same university last year and was fully released later in the process. That time, I found out at the official schedule release time just like everyone else, and the RCs appeared to find out at that time as well.

I completely understand that recruitment counselors may not personally see chapter master lists or PNM rankings. Is there a separate process where Panhellenic leadership or recruitment staff can see that a PNM has received zero invitations and notify her RC before schedules are officially released?

I’m not accusing my RC or any chapters of doing anything wrong. I genuinely just want to understand the procedure because being told at 11:30 PM when we had specifically been told we would find out the following morning caught me off guard.

For anyone who has worked behind the scenes in Panhellenic recruitment: is this normal at your school? Would an RC typically know that a PNM had been fully released before the PNM’s official schedule was available?

btw i go to a big 10 school in the midwest. also they explicitly told us we all find out tomorrow at the same time.

hi does anyone have a picture of a celebrity doing the sigdelt hand sign, the tri delt hand sign, tri sig hand sign, and dphie hand sign? im trying to make a post🙏

hi!! im currently a sophomore and there are a lot of cob events happening at my school this week. im really nervous though because id have to go to them alone. none of my friends are rushing, and im kinda feeling like not doing it anymore. i want to join a sorority but im scared ill look weird and have nobody to talk to. is it okay if i go to those events alone or should i try to drag along a friend??

What’s going on with ASU rush seems to be shocking a lot of PNMs and I’d like to see what people from other schools & orgs feel. Today was the start of Philo round and all over social media (mostly yik yak) a ton of girls are posting that they got between 1 and 3 houses, which most ranked lower. This comes as a bit of a shock considering we can get up to 8 houses for philo, and this being the first in-person round, many girls feel blindsided because they thought they would at least get the opportunity to talk to more girls. Obviously there are many factors that go into choosing which girls to go into the next round and which ones to drop and there being just over 1500 pnms this year means each house will be more selective. Just wondering if this often happens at ASU or at other schools where girls only get a couple houses the second round?

I’m curious if anyone from a smaller university can weigh in on their experience with rush as it compares to the much larger universities with countless sororities? Specifically schools with only a handful of sororities 5 or less.

Is it “easier” to get a bid at all or even to get a bid to your top choice? On the contrary, is it generally more competitive with sororities being more selective than at a larger school?

I had my assumption going into it but I think I was wrong so now I’m just curious…

Hi all!

I only got four houses back for philanthropy round (our max is 10 and we have 14 chapters). I’m lucky to even be in a position where I can participate in recruitment, so I’m not trying to come across as ungrateful. It just worries me a bit because I don’t want to go through all this only to not get to run home on bid day.

My RC was so kind and encouraging when we talked about it, but I would appreciate any advice/encouragement from people more detached from my specific process!

I am at my wits end with my chapter. I’ve been a member for over a year and it has constantly gone downhill. We’ve just had a meeting with HQ recently and I feel like that will only make things worse. I did not envision this when I initially join greek life and have thoughts of dropping constantly. The only reason why I’m staying is because I’m super close of graduating and I have close friends who I swore I would stay for. However, this alleged sisterhood feels more like a dictatorship and I’m just so over everything. For those who had a good experience in greek life, consider yourself lucky.