r/StandUpComedy • u/LeahRudick • 1d ago

Comedian is OP This is boy math

Enable HLS to view with audio, or disable this notification

4.1k Upvotes

95% Upvoted

74 comments sorted by

572

u/RheagarTargaryen 1d ago

I used to think something like this would be ridiculous, but I’m now at the age where I’ve had to back into my age using the current year minus my birth year to make sure I’m the age I think I am.

171

u/Diagno 1d ago

The other week I had to give the birth year of my son. The info had fallen out of my head and I couldn't for the life of me do the math on the spot.

He's 3 and a half years old.

74

u/BeautifulCuriousLiar 1d ago

i’m 30, turning 31 this year. for as long as i can remember, my dad never got my age right on the first response. he always had the same comeback too: “i was just testing ya”

16

u/Sethalopoda 1d ago

My dad had me convinced my birthday was different when I was a little kid lol. My ma had to set us both straight

15

u/OtherwiseAlbatross14 1d ago

"Stop trying to get Seth to go buy you cigarettes I keep telling you he's only four!"

6

u/Scrapple_Joe 1d ago

My partner gets her age wrong a lot, but ever since I've decided to never get it right as a joke she's vastly improved out of spite.

2

u/firnien-arya 1d ago

Well, when you get older and you dont forget you're age like you're father you will see he actually was doing you a favor lol

5

u/Sad_Gain_2372 1d ago

I forgot my son's birth date when I was filling out a form at the doctors. It's 10/10/10.

11

u/Royal_Bitch_Pudding 21h ago

Jfc, he's 2015 years old?!

2

u/Theslootwhisperer 19h ago

They grow up so fast.

3

u/New_Kiln_Studios 1d ago

Legal state?

11

u/Diagno 1d ago

Sane, apparently

1

u/bethestorm 23h ago

Don't feel bad this happened to me around the same time.

And it still is. And he's 9.

If you were the one who gave birth to him, have your thyroid checked tho ask for a thyroid panel. Mine seemed okay until I asked for it. And it explains the memory going down the drain.

1

u/chrin1oo4 20h ago

If it makes you feel better when I was in my late 20’s my mom forgot my name that she picked.

1

u/Present_Mastodon_503 18h ago

I always forget my sons birth year because it's the only birthday in my immediate family that lands on an even number year.

He was born two years ago. I always have to minus down how old he is to be kike "oh yeah it's this year."

1

u/Dualmilion 9h ago

I had that, was at the doctor and they asked his birthdate. I know it, but then thought "wait, is that right?". Then felt like a deadbeat because Im taking too long to answer the question

1

u/TheJinManCan 3h ago

I've started forgetting exactly how old I am. To be fair, I haven't cared about my own birthday since after 25, so I'm actually surprised it took this long for me to start stumbling and being off by a year.

I think rounding down to the nearest 5 is good, or the approximating of "early x0s/late x0s" is a good trade off once you hit 40+.

8

u/PeaceAlien 1d ago

Wait I’ve done that my whole life lol

4

u/CowboyLaw 1d ago

Perhaps generations of incest has decreased your memory capabilities? (Sorry, couldn't resist the username joke.)

I'm a forgetful sack of shit in almost all aspects of my life. But, I remember when my first date with my wife was (and, to be clear...Clinton was President). I remember what we did the night I proposed. I remember our wedding date. Not because any of it is important to me, but because all of it is important to the person who is most important to me. If I have to tattoo that shit on my arms Memento-style, I'll do it.

3

u/RheagarTargaryen 1d ago

That’s the thing, I remember the dates, but it’s the “how many years ago was that?” Question that I’ll forget. Luckily, my wife and I met in 2015 and got married in 2020, so we have the it’s easy enough to figure out.

3

u/Shadow288 1d ago

My kids asked me how old I was the other day and i gave them the wrong age. There comes a point when you just stop counting and that’s totally acceptable!

1

u/Solesaver 23h ago

Only reason I can remember my age is for most of the year it's that + 10. Now, when I forget what year it is...

1

u/Skore_Smogon 17h ago

I was born in 1980 so thankfully the mental maths is easy

1

u/davvblack 9h ago

yea i agree, it wouldn’t be so hard if all these numbers didn’t keep changing all the time

149

u/StupidUserNameTooLon 1d ago

Dave's been blackout drunk for 4 of the eleven years.

5

u/GeneralWalk0 8h ago

When he sobered up it must of been like this

https://youtu.be/eyQEQP2bMZQ?si=TlWiWL2qSDfTW4DI

150

u/southernmayd 1d ago

Directly telling someone they are an unreliable narrator is so funny to me. Thank you for sharing!

11

u/ItDohnMattah 18h ago

Hilarious and spot-on insult

-5

u/[deleted] 18h ago

[deleted]

5

u/southernmayd 9h ago

Its a comedy show pal, it's not that serious

70

u/TheBookfinder 1d ago

I feel targeted.

50

u/RogerianBrowsing 1d ago

Be better, Dave.

9

u/CowboyLaw 1d ago

I'm sorry, you must do that, Dave.

41

u/rkeaney 1d ago

"Dave you don't know what you're saying" 🤣

20

u/guilhermefdias 1d ago

Loved this change of profession from Eva Green.

7

u/EuenovAyabayya 23h ago

My wife swears we met a year before we started dating, but I have no memory of it. Although in that case it was like all of five minutes, allegedly.

23

u/Katicflis1 1d ago

So perfect lol.

Glad the wife could laugh about it.

19

u/Doodiecarrier 1d ago

Just wait until the car ride home

4

u/Danwaka 1d ago

This is going to sound weird, but I'm gonna need /r/LeahRudick and /r/BoScout to do a set together to be satisfied that they're not related.

7

u/I-cant_even 1d ago

"You're a completely unreliable narrator" Bravo

5

u/iyambred 23h ago

I fully don’t understand what’s happening here

18

u/iCapn 23h ago

It's okay, Dave

5

u/iyambred 22h ago

Bahahaha

Ohhhh he said they have been married 7 years but they’ve been married 11 and they have a 7 y/o.

Leaving that out of the video and just inferring that from the hook wasn’t enough for my Dave level brain

4

u/the_second_cumming 15h ago

And I still think Dave might be right. I think the wife was talking about how long they been together but the question was how long they've been married.

1

u/Joey-WilcoXXX 39m ago

>Leaving that out of the video and just inferring that from the hook

There’s literally a text box at the beginning saying ‘man says he’s been married for 7 years.’

6

u/spycey_mchaggis 1d ago

Crossposted to r/femalestandupcomedy — come join and contribute!

2

u/Relevant_One9920 1d ago

funny :D

  • thank you for sharing.

1

u/zabuma 16h ago

😂😂

-16

u/InnerAd1628 1d ago

Is the jacket a symbol of your individuality and your belief in personal freedom?

11

u/jules6815 1d ago

Did that comment somehow make you feel better about your own lot in life?

13

u/JackTheBehemothKillr 1d ago

Its a direct quote from Wild At Heart, starring Nic Cage.

9

u/InnerAd1628 1d ago

I thought a few other folks would get it but nevermind.

2

u/OuterWildsVentures 7h ago

This is Reddit lol if you don't explain your reference or put a /s in the initial comment people will just assume the worst and dogpile on you with downvotes and whooshed replies

2

u/InnerAd1628 7h ago

Starting to realise that 🤣

A complimentary joke about an awesome jacket puts all kinds of noses out of joint.

5

u/jules6815 1d ago

I guess at this point it’s context. Was the goal to make an off comment about her jacket or was there something else going on?

0

u/Peaceful-Moon22 19h ago

Aww, I’m sorry you’re getting downvoted. I downvoted you at first because I didn’t get the reference, but then I upvoted you!

3

u/InnerAd1628 16h ago

I guess not a lot of David Lynch fans in the wild 😊

Never occurred to me anyone would think I was being rude/snarky.

-8

u/JD42305 22h ago

Cr0Wd wERRKk

-28

u/One-Picture7723 1d ago

I hope no one was there for comedy

18

u/Aoskar20 1d ago

Not sure what video you watched, this was very funny and her delivery was great