M37

Having a rough time. Not getting paid enough. And just not feeling like doing anything.

I just need a pick me up.

Please.

Before anyone asks: yes I do take meds for depression and anxiety since 10 years back :) I have a doctor and therapist that I see regularly. Life has just been very stressful and sometimes not even medication helps. (Generalized anxiety disorder, panic syndrome)

My summer has been very boring and I feel very lonely, I don’t have many friends and I feel I’m just getting uglier every day, I tried to meet new people but I just don’t have much luck. I’m gonna start college soon but I’m more scared than happy because I’m behind people my age, and even it’s a dumb thing I feel bad about it.

I’ve never felt more alone than now. Hopefully I find someone

I want to preface this by saying I don't care who sees this. I'm not embarrassed and not ashamed as a man to keep things real and be vulnerable here; also apologies for it being so long, but I appreciate those who take the time to read.

Tomorrow is my actual 35th birthday, yet I've never had a girlfriend or real relationship before; haven't even been able to go on a simple first date in almost 4 years. While I am eternally grateful to have made it another year on God's green earth, I am incredibly lonely. Nothing could have ever prepared me for just how lonely and left out I would feel as a 35yo single man.

Unfortunately I was just a late bloomer and kinda shy during my school years. Outside of a couple meaningless lucky tinder hookups in my late twenties, my dating life or lack-thereof has pretty much been non-existent ever since turning 30. I'm no longer that shy kid, but never in a million years did I ever imagine it would actually be this difficult to meet someone and connect as an adult...at least for me. I don't expect every woman to be attracted to me just like I'm not going to be into every woman either, but here in Washington State it feels like I'm at the absolute bottom of the barrel in terms of people who are attracted to me back.

I listened to everyone who said it will happen when you least expect, don't force anything, or you'll find it when you aren't looking...alas here we are. Clearly at this point it's me, I'm the problem. Maybe I'm too boring, too nice, not tall enough, not confident enough, lacking sex appeal, not charming enough...idk, but obviously there is something wrong me that myself or my friends cannot see.

However, I do get complimented all the time for being handsome, intelligent, "hilarious", chill to be around and just an overall good man. For whatever reason though, I can't for the life of me attract a woman. I approach respectfully and shoot my shots like everyone else, but it's literally never mutual. Have I missed some opportunites because I was too shy or not feeling it that day...absolutely I admit that. I've also probably turned some women off through this trial and error over the years by mistake. Not every interaction needs to have an outcome or lead to something, but how can not a single one stick?

Even as recently as yesterday I went to my local climb gym in Seattle. I talked to a few people and even made a new guy friend. I also saw this girl that struck me like a lighting bolt; just incredibly pretty to me. I approached, introduced myself and we ended up climbing/chatting for 2 hours together. Towards the end, I told that guy and her I was heading out and asked if they wanted swap info and connect later. She did end up having a boyfriend and nothing wrong with that but holy crap, does everyone I talk to have a boyfriend in 2026? She did add me on Insta so at least that means she enjoyed my company. Even after I left I saw another dude right after me approach her too. 🤣

I'm not this super extroverted social butterfly, but I'm also no pushover. I stand up for myself, I'm assertive with what I want and I've definitely tried many times, more than any man should have to try if I'm being honest. I know as the man it's on me to approach, otherwise no woman will ever magically fall into my lap. I try to stay positive and I try to maintain some level of confidence, but it's so hard dealing with rejection after rejection for years without a shred of success to keep me going...nothing but God's gift of mental fortitude and my wrist tattoo that says patience.

Yes I've done the introspection, yes I've been to therapy, yes I've asked friends for advice. No I'm not this creepy gremlin chasing after women as they come out of parking lots. No I'm not this ego jerk with an awful personality or bad hygiene living at home playing video games all day. I'm a normal freaking dude who smiles, goes outside, puts effort into his appearance and stays active to maintain a halfway decent body; I've even been shreded with abs before. I travel around, I go to church, I attend social groups, I work my ass off at my stressful sales job and still have time to raise two cats and write my cook book.

People hear my story and the only thing they can assume is "he must be desperate or his personality is bad". It's demoralizing, it's frustrating, it's dismissive of my experience and worst of all it seriously effects your mental health dealing with years of this crap. I just want a hug at this point; not a pity side hug, a genuine this person actually cares about me, HUG.

Over the years I’ve been to bars, nightclubs, speed dating events, singles mixers, board game nights, salsa dancing, joined outdoorsy hiking groups and meetups on Facebook. I’ve tried dating apps like Hinge/Tinder and even alternative ones like Feeld where people are supposed to be more open-minded. I've been to comedy shows, amateur karaoke nights, run clubs, bouldering gyms etc etc. I’m not doing these activities just to make trying to meet women my entire life, but because I genuinely enjoy trying new things; jack of all trades I guess you could say. I just assumed I would naturally hit it off with someone one day and that special girl would be drawn to my energy.

I've even traveled around and took vacations to Hawaii, Mexico, California, Vancouver and Vegas just name a few. I'm just so tired of people asking me "so who are you going with" when I travel. The answer is no one because I date myself, I love myself and I've always had to do everything in life by myself: dinners, movies, hikes, vacations...I was never going to put my life on hold just because I hadn't met someone yet.

I'm just tired, so tired of being alone. No amount of hitting the gym or the occasional bar night out with the homies can replace that normal desire for company from that special woman in your life; not to mention intimacy...like my God, I miss physical touch; not even sex, just a cuddle or a hug would be be nice. Yes I enjoy my solitude sometimes and definitely not codependant enough to settle for the wrong woman, but at some point I'd like to know what it's like on the other side too ya know. To have someone be excited to see me, to have texts hitting my phone, to cuddle during a movie, to go to dinners and share stories about our day, just experience some basic companionship. 🥺

I'll close this long-winded vent by telling you all a quick story.

This weekend is the start of the state Fair in my area. This was always a favorite time of year for me because evey year I stayed positive and told myself, this will finally be your year to take a cute girl to the fair; to hold hands, share an elephant ear and ride some rides together." Obviously it never happened, but last year I tried to take myself anyway to have fun. After 30 minutes of being there sitting in the food court eating a burger at a bar, I had to find a private spot to go cry because of how lonely it was. Me, a 34yo man bawling his eyes out in a corner as I watched all the couples hold hands and kiss in-between rides. It was so unintentional and uncontrollable I didn't know what came over me. I had to leave and then cried some more in my car.

I know no one on Reddit can help me. I'm also not expecting a future girlfriend to solve all my problems or fill some void, but gat damn, it sure would be nice to know what it's like to be a desired human being...just for once in my life.

I know from the bottom of my heart there is someone out there for everyone, I just wish I could meet her.

Hey everyone!

This Sunday, the girl who's been quite frequently on this subreddit, won't be here anymore as she's decided it's high time she focused on other things. But..before I go, I want to take a piece of this sub's heart with me into my daily life.

​I’m building a physical "Jar of Good Things" for my desk at home, which is a glass jar filled with tiny handwritten paper notes of pure warmth, soft wisdom, and comfort that I can pull out whenever life gets heavy. I want to toast the souls who make this world a softer place, and I’d be so grateful to feature your words in it.

​I'm looking for the kind of comments that hit right at home. If you have a moment, please leave a note below with something genuine:

𓂃✍︎ ​A deep piece of life advice or a truth you learned the hard way

𓂃✍︎ ​A cozy reminder or quote that saved you during dark times

𓂃✍︎ ​A quiet, beautiful thought you wish more people knew

​I’m spending my final days here reading through every single response, copying the most heartfelt notes onto paper slips for my jar, and reaching out privately to send some extra love and personal thank-yous to some of the sweetest people whose words touch my heart. I feel like after all this kindness y'all showered me with, now it's MY TIME to toast ALL OF YOU!🥺🫵🏻

​Wanna send something privately or have a little chat? Feel free to send me a direct message instead if you're shy or prefer to keep it private!

PS 1: Thank you for reading this far, for being on my journey here (whether you've met me earlier or later throughout the year), it's been an honour having many beautiful and kind people with me.

PS 2: I was not expecting to tear up today, y'all are truly the sweetest souls I've ever talked to on here, thank you so much for your messages and comments!😭✨

Maybe it might be a "see you later" or maybe not, but for all I know, with this project and everything that I will write, I'm saying my heartfelt GOODBYE and TAKE CARE OF YOURSELVES, especially since y'all represent the sweetest in real life version of a "french macaron" and this is just so wholesome.🥰

Yours, as always,

Your bubbliest M🩷🫂

Feeling a little shy posting this, but I could definitely use some good vibes today. What’s something nice you’d tell me? 💕

Also felling dumb because I’m sad that 2 years today my gf at the time broke up with me (it wasn’t a long relationship and it was long distance) I still miss her and think about her

Hello, I would like to get some kind words. I'm 21m. Today I felt really shitty. I sometimes get a lot of anxiety and start extreme negative thought spirals that often are about my fears and worries of my own future, my past decisions and if I'm making the right decisions now, and if I will always be lonely. And if you have anything to say about my eyebrows, just don't, please lol.

Been wanting to have this hair and style (emo) since I was 10 now I'm a nursing student yet I still feel like a kid. It scares me that I'll be responsible for the lives of people when I'm not even responsible with myself. I'm sure it'll come with time though. Anyways I feel very lonely and behind, I've never dated or had boys like me so I feel ugly in that sense and since I'm 20 now my Asian parents are starting to wonder why no one is courting me yet so that sucks. Anyways I wish I explored my style more when I was younger cause now that I'm 20 it feels like I'm a having a life crisis. I see my friends going clubbing and driving (I suck at driving) and having fun exploring their sexuality and I feel like a baby cause my parents coddle me. Any kind words would be appreciated cause I feel thrust into adulthood and I am completely lost. I'm scared to put myself out there but I'm scared to be alone

First time travelling internationally, let alone actually taking time off work for an extended period, I know I'll be safe and will be with people I trust but my introverted self is still utterly terrified of taking the leap and stepping well and truly out of my comfort zone and all the things that will likely be out of my control during the time away. If you have any to spare please send all the good vibes. <3

Depressed af & tired of always being responsible and keeping it together. Wish I could be chaotic and unhinged, & selfish without consequences or feeling like people will leave my life cause I’m “too much”. I shouldn’t care but I’ve lost too much already and I can’t lose anyone else I love.

It could be worse, and it could also be a lot better.

Got diagnosed with a rare condition three months ago. I'm struggling with it. It won't get worse, it might be treatable. I'm back at work, thank g*d I work a desk job. I struggle to walk a few hundred meters, and I'm always in pain.

I'm waiting. Waiting for a wheelchair, to have some kind of life in between doctor visits and work, to have my dog back. It'll get better. I'm exhausted, and scared, and sad. Didn't think my 30s would begin like this.

Life is the unwelcome kind of wild right now.

Hey, I don’t even know where to start. I’m 23 and I just want to be loved.

The last couple of years have been a complete collapse for me. I went through severe depression (diagnosed by a doctor), lost several people close to me, and got kicked out of university. I felt absolutely terrible. I stopped making music, I couldn’t even play my favorite games because every failure hit me so hard that I’d start hating myself and thinking I was a loser. I still feel that way sometimes.

I’m broke, short, not athletic, and not particularly attractive. I’ve never had a normal relationship with a woman, and for some reason women just don’t seem interested in me. The only times women have actually shown initiative toward me, they ended up using me, and they used me really badly. I don’t understand why. I try not to hurt anyone, so I don’t understand why people treat me like that.

My last attempt at a relationship was three years ago. I tried really hard to stay in touch with her and keep the conversation going, but when I started doing really badly and stopped initiating, she never messaged me even once.

A lot of people say that you need to get your life together first, become healthy and strong, and only then look for a relationship. But I’ve seen people with problems similar to mine, or even worse, find a partner while they were still struggling and then get through it together much more easily. So why do I have to carry everything on my shoulders alone?

And honestly, I did go to a doctor. I really tried, and I’ve gotten better. This year I went back to university and graduated. I’ve lost weight, I’m trying to get rid of my acne, and I’m forced to look for a job (otherwise my family will literally starve lol).

I used to have so many hobbies, but for the last three years I basically did nothing. I didn’t have the energy or motivation for anything. Now I’m slowly trying to get back into life, doing what I can, and… I’m still nobody’s choice.

I try to tell myself that sooner or later things will get better, but more and more often I feel like I’m just a loser who’s destined to be alone and that things are only going to get worse.

Still live with my parents, failed to launch, no money to my name, isolated for 8+ years.. I was semi-recently put on blast by 5000+ people as well in another post in another sub regarding my life situation and it kind of got to me - so I guess I'm just looking for any positive vibes out there. Idk.

Pursuing a pro gaming career opportunity that popped up in my 20s and putting my life on hold right before the pandemic, coupled with the state of the American Job Market, I guess I am just feeling pretty hopeless lately 🙃. Im quite literally just a living breathing example of those people who "fell thru the cracks" in your life and never heard from again after grade school/uni.

My depression is destroying my hobbies with anhedonia too lately, but atleast my love for the gym and nutrition has kept intact, its a strong thread in what's keeping me sane.

I finally made it to 19 guys! I’m so happy even thought much doesn’t change legally I’m still glad to be here. Also an update about the jobs I’m quitting both jobs ceases I officially got into Amazon and then I have another job too which pays more than the previous two. So I’ll still have two jobs!😋

I have been feeling very invisible, lonely, and unlovable this semester. I have very little motivation to do anything. I am hoping a little positivity will help push me in the right direction! :)

(I promise I am 20. I just look very young lol.