I've been sterilized for over a year now, and sometimes the reality of it still hasn't hit me. (Probably partly because I don't get laid? Ever?) I've spent the entirety of my adult life terrified of pregnancy, it is one of my biggest fears in all of life, and sometimes I'll just suddenly remember that I never have to be scared anymore.

Now... Don't get me wrong. I have tokophobia as a part of my clinically diagnosed OCD. So unfortunately, however illogical, that fear will still flare up. But ultimately, I had one of the most effective sterilization surgeries that exists.

My fallopian tubes were not tied. They are GONE. HALLELUJAH, THEY ARE *GONE*.

How can I deal with this phobia? My last encounter was on January 22 this year. After that, I had periods from January 23–31, March 12–16, April 8–13, May 12–18, June 22–28, and July 28–August 3.

I’m currently on the 35th day of my cycle, but I still don’t have any signs that my period is coming. I’ve also had multiple negative pregnancy tests: on March 1, 7, 10, and 11; three tests on April 4 and 6; May 4 and 8; two tests on May 18; and another negative test on June 19.

I’m trying to be rational, but my anxiety has spiked again. I keep thinking that this could somehow be a cryptic pregnancy. I’m scared to go to the doctor because I’m terrified that they’ll find out that I’m actually pregnant.

The scare just never seems to stop. I really want to learn how to deal with this phobia and stop spiraling over it.

I’m 29F, and have only ever been in one relationship that was short and ended badly.

I’m lonely. I have so much love with nowhere for it to go.

I’d love to be with a man, however, I’m so scared of pregnancy. My last partner was very sexual, and I was so afraid I was going to get pregnant the whole time.

I don’t want children of my own. I don’t want changes to my body that comes from childbirth. I don’t want the pain. I don’t want to be a parent responsible for raising a child. The thought of getting pregnant makes me want to crawl out of my own skin. I would be so panicked and afraid.

I avoid meeting men and people partially because I don’t want to get pregnant down the road.

I understand there’s contraception too, but even 99% success rates don’t ease my fear. Plus some of these contraceptives sounds incredibly painful to get.

Does anyone have any advice?

Should I test? Or… Maybe do an US? (17 days late)

Situation A: It’s been 30 weeks since I had penetrative sex. The condom didn’t break, and he ejaculated inside the condom. I’ve had 16 negative blood tests and 7 negative ultrasounds as well.

Situation B: It’s been 8 weeks. I tested 4 and 6 weeks after what happened, and both tests were negative. We only rubbed against each other while fully clothed. I was wearing underwear and he was wearing shorts. We didn’t have unprotected sex, and there was no ejaculation either. I’m scared about pre-cum.

Situation C: We didn’t have sex. We were just dating. I sat on his lap, and we rubbed against each other while fully clothed, but that was it. There was no exchange of bodily fluids.

Could this be a hormonal issue? Something like a cryptic pregnancy? I feel bloated, I have cramps that come and go, breast tenderness, and I’m extremely tired.

I feel like this is the only place where i can be understood. I had two kids and developed tokophobia. I thought having bisalp (tube removal) would resolve it but no. Every month I freak out, sometimes more, sometimes less. I am on cycle day 26 right now and crying my eyes out because i am so afraid that I might be p...nant. Can't even type that word out of anxiety. I often wish my husband wouldn't even look at me, wouldn't touch me. Sex became repulsive to me. I don't know what to do at this point. I dream about ripping my entire reproductive system out of my body. This is ruining my life. I tried talking to a therapist but found it hard to open up. I can only talk to chat (don't worry, it's being very safe and sending me support numbers etc). Anyways, I need some reassurance. And if you know someone who got p...nant after bisalp, please, I beg you please keep it to yourself and don't comment it because I feel like I might walk out of a window.

I wanted to start this post with a trigger warning regarding eating disorders, bulimia specifically. Hi, I'm 19, I've been struggling with mental health issues for a couple of years, I'm diagnosed with an Ed, depression and anxiety. Last month I had a binge eating episode. I can't remember which day exactly it was, I just remember that it happened. The binging caused me to vomit. It was around 3 or 4 hours after I took my pill like I do every single day. I have never missed one, since my tokophobia is quite extreme. Today I remembered that this had happened, and it caused me to get paranoid all over again. I am aware that vomiting does lower the effectiveness of oc pills. Due to my anxiety me and my bf make sure to use condoms correctly every time we have sex. We also check afterwards if there was any leakage. The vomiting situation happened around a month ago, and since then I got a breakthrough bleeding, and a withdrawal bleeding during 4 days of taking placebo pills, and now I am on a new pack of pills, but I still can't stop the what if thoughts. Has anyone ever experienced something similar?

I am 22 years old and I have primary tokophobia. I’ve had this phobia for several years. Almost everyone in my family knows that I have this fear, but it’s always “you’ll change your mind”.
Just speaking about how terrified pregnancy makes me feel causes me to tear up and shake. All the videos of pregnant mothers showing the kicking and movement underneath their skin makes me physically ill. Not to mention the hundreds of side effects pregnancy causes.

I have a boyfriend (25M) who is very traditional and “wants” to have children, I’ve discussed my fear with him and it was the same thing “you’ll change your mind”. I’ve discussed alternatives with him but he wants children of his own flesh and blood (that’s why I put quotations on wants), more like he wants to reproduce like some animal. Besides this he treats me very well and I’ve never had to pay for a single date. I’m meeting his family this month too.

But my fear goes beyond pregnancy- I’m scared to be isolated from society. Even if I leave my boyfriend what are the chances I’ll find a good man that doesn’t want to force this body horror on me? I don’t want to be alone. It’s not like I don’t want children, I just don’t want to be pregnant or give birth. Please help.

I sometimes take both of my hands and put them over where my uterus is, close my eyes, and just allow myself to feel so, so incredibly safe. As my hands rest over my uterus, I know that that part of my body will always be mine, just mine. A fetus will never live there, I will never house a living, growing being that I would rather die than be ripped apart from. My body is my own, and it will always, always, always be *just* my body and no one else's for now and forever.

For almost as long as I can remember, getting pregnant has always been one of my biggest fears in all of life. That fear was compounded when the United States government decided to revoke the most fundamental right a woman can ever have. After that happened, I did research on sterilization, and was so, so, so, so happy to learn that they just take out your whole tubes now. I never thought tubal ligation was effective enough, a 1/200 chance sounds crazy high to me, and I find it even more crazy how many women don't bat an eye at that and think those are good odds.

I feel so incredibly safe in this world, and not just feel safe, I *AM* safe. I got my bilateral salpingectomy over a year ago and it's like my biggest fear in life was physically removed from my body. I love knowing that my body will forever be my own.

And no. Unfortunately the tokophobia will never fully go away. But even for me, even with my fear level, even I trust a bilateral salpingectomy. (Although I still stay on birth control "just in case".... Although I will pregnancy test "just in case"... But.)

Basically the title. I’ve always had this fear and I’m not sure why. I know I don’t ever want to be pregnant. But I have shut myself off from even having relationships with males as a result. I’m bisexual, but don’t want to close myself off to men forever. I was seeing a guy back in April, and I just couldn’t bring myself to have sex with him. Even sucking his dick or having him eat me out would have me spiraling and testing like crazy. I was even in the depo shot at the time.

I’ve been in therapy but it really hasn’t done me any good. I just can’t do it. I know abortion exists, but I don’t even want to be in that position ever. I don’t have the means to get a bisalp (in clinicals, need to be on the go 3 days a week, in class 2 days a week. Just started so I’m not looking to take time off immediately). I just want to be someone who has a normal sex life. The guy I was seeing was lowkey garbage and ghosted me, but I always wonder what if I just was normal and had sex?

For clarity, I just want to be able to get over this phobia to have sex. I do not want children and pregnancy is my biggest fear. I’m a pretty outgoing person but so closed off to relationships with men because of this.

I'm in the UK, IVF pregnancy, currently 39w4d. FTM, 38yo tokophobia and autistic. I don't have pregnancy fear but childbirth fear since I was a little girl and mum insisted on regularly retelling me her traumatic birth story. This is the biggest fear of my life.

I have a c-section booked for exactly my 40w, so just 3 days from now. But I don't like the idea of surgery one bit either... It just felt safer somehow. But I hate the idea of having a scar and not able to move for ages. plus the recovery pain, adhesions etc....

I wanted my baby to come naturally and get an early epidural, I somehow managed to get on top of that fear. What helped me a lot is using Epi-No. I got to 10cm and feel pretty confident about the pushing bit at least. I'm also pretty fit and strong. But baby never came on his own and now I either need to induce or have that C-section. And I've started wondering about induction but most nightmare stories I know, are induction stories. They have high chance of EMCS anyway and instrumental delivery in the UK ...

I JUST DONT KNOW WHAT TO DO. I'm torturing myself with this decision and I cannot make it. My dream scenario would be to have vaginal birth with epidural and hardly any postpartum issues but nobody can guarantee that...

If you have birth with tokophobia and maybe are similar to be... What worked for you? What advice would you give?

I’ve been terrified of dying while pregnant or in childbirth from a young age.

Part of me knows that doing hard things that are scary can be important, life is full of risks and I want to become a parent.

Part of me knows I will be happy and fulfilled without becoming a biological parent. It’s ok to do what feels safe.

But I’m stuck and so afraid. Would appreciate to hear from people who decided to become pregnant while scare or decided to never become pregnant (but wished they wanted to) and how they felt able to accept their decision.

It’s been almost six months since my last sexual encounter. I’ve had numerous negative pregnancy tests and multiple periods, but I still feel like all of it is somehow wrong. The only time I’m at peace is when I’m on my period, but as soon as it ends, the anxiety comes back.

Getting a blood test or an ultrasound is almost impossible for me because the nearest affordable clinic is about three hours away from my city.

I don’t understand how some people have a pregnancy scare, then get their period and are able to move on. I wish I could do the same.

Here is my timeline:
January 22 – Unprotected sex; used the Yuzpe method afterward.
March 1, 7, 10, and 11 – Negative pregnancy tests.
March 12–17 – Bleeding.
April 4 (3 tests) and April 6 – Negative pregnancy tests.
April 8–12 – Bleeding.
May 4 and 11 – Negative pregnancy tests.
May 12–17 – Bleeding.
May 18 – Two negative pregnancy tests (I also tried the dilution method because I was worried about the hook effect).
June 19 – Negative pregnancy test.
June 22–28 – Bleeding.

After my period ends, I start spiraling again. I think it’s because I’ve read so many stories about cryptic pregnancies. For example, I’ve seen people claim they were two months late, had negative urine pregnancy tests, but later had a positive blood test. I also read a story about someone who said they had negative pregnancy tests for six months and only found out they were pregnant through an ultrasound. On Quora, I saw someone claim they had negative pregnancy tests for five months before an ultrasound confirmed the pregnancy. I’ve also seen people say they continued having what they thought were periods for several months while pregnant.

Reading these stories scares me so much, and it’s affecting my everyday life.

Is it really possible that I’m having a cryptic pregnancy and that my instincts are right? Whenever I feel bloated, I immediately worry that I’m pregnant. Sometimes I think I feel fluttering in my stomach, and it makes my anxiety even worse.

How can I move on from this? How can I reassure myself that I’m not pregnant?

Guys, I need your thoughts. Please.

I’m feeling a little disturbed. Basically, I was supposed to get my period yesterday, but it still hasn’t come.

My last sexual intercourse with penetration was 5 months ago. We used a condom, and I’ve taken numerous pregnancy tests and had four ultrasounds, all of which were negative. Even so, I still feel scared.

Today, after going out partying and drinking a lot of alcohol, I ended up in a room with a man, and we started making out. There was no penetration. The most that happened was some rubbing through our clothes. He didn’t touch my private area directly with his fingers or anything else. It was only over the clothes. I felt a bit pressured and scared, so I pushed him away. I’m afraid he might have transferred something onto my underwear. Should I be worried about this situation, or should I just forget about it?

I feel so worried and hopeless about what to do…

I had unprotected sex last January 22. I had bleeding last Jan 23-31, March 12-17, April 8-12 and May 12-17 . I did have negative test from March 1,7,10 and 11, April 4 and 8, May 4, 6 and 18 but now I’m currently in my 39th day of my cycle and 4 days delayed I took test again early in the morning today and its negative. Is there possibility that the bleeding and test before are incorrect? Is this possible cryptic pregnancy? I read in the internet that she has negative test till 5 months. Should I do ultrasound? There is no signs of my period will come anytime soon. Is there possibility I’m pregnant?

I am a 18f and have been taking my oral mixed birth control for a year. I’m really good at taking it, with me never having missed a pill, or not taking it later than 30 mins.

The other day the condom broke and I think some got in me. It’s been about 9 days, and I’m having period-like cramps (even though I’m only on day 20). My stomach has also been feeling weird and I’m kind of freaking out.

I’m looking for some guidance because I don’t know what to do. Please help!! Thank you

Hello everyone,

I started taking the pill on January, from january to march i wasn’t taking it correctly (missed one pill or two). In February i got fingered by my bf and i didn’t know if he had precum on his hands, but i still got withrawal period that month, i was fingered on march too and got my withrawal period, then on april, and it’s in may when i had weird withrawal period, that lasted one day and didn’t fill a pad. Everytime he fingered me, he may had cum or precum on his fingers (not sure tho).

I haven’t took a test since i still live with my parents and can’t get it at all right now and especially in my country since im not married. And i have had weird pelvic pain through the whole month and especially ovary pain.

Can i get pregnant this way ? Im about to get sick of this situatio, ive red on reddit that it was impossible but theoretically yes. And on google they say that it is possible. I don’t know what to do

This is not a vent, but rather something I have noticed about this phobia, and if anyone would like to add their thoughts, please feel free.

I have been struggling with this phobia for two years, and my very first post in this community was about it.

However, I have noticed something. Could tokophobia be linked to another mental health condition? Such as OCD, autism, or some other neurodivergent condition? Tokophobia, at least where I live, is considered an anxiety disorder because it is classified as a phobia.

I have spent far too much time in this community. It is not that I am proud of that, but I genuinely like this community. I really do. However, there is a certain pattern that I have been noticing.

How does a phobia bring out our irrational side? How is it possible for some of us to become so worried and excessively nervous that we end up ignoring the evidence right in front of us?

For example, I am a perfect example of this myself. I am afraid to mention specific users, but I definitely could. After all, I spend a lot of time here on Reddit.

The point is this: I have had 17 tests in total. Why does my mind keep insisting on the same thing over and over again? Why can I not believe 12 blood tests and 5 ultrasounds? Why does my mind constantly sabotage me instead?

I have not been diagnosed with anything. I have never seen a psychologist or psychiatrist to receive a formal diagnosis, but that is not really my point. My point is, do you see where I am going with this?

Let me explain further:

https://www.reddit.com/r/amipregnant/s/TXe3gL6rBN

Unfortunately, the user deleted their account, but in that situation, they mentioned something interesting, and the evidence strongly suggested that they had never been pregnant. Why did that person not stop testing after having an ultrasound?

This is not meant as an attack. Instead, I notice a very strong pattern of anxiety and excessive worry. But what are the underlying factors? Religion? Age? Ambitions? Personal circumstances?

Tokophobia is something incredibly complex.

And I can provide examples of this, such as the following users:

u/freaking0uttt
u/Past_Airline2746
u/Spiritual-Jello-5669
u/sabrinacolonn
u/sabrinacolonnn
u/FaithlessnessFlat388

These are only a few examples among many. I happened to save these posts for research purposes.

I have seen people who did not believe pregnancy tests, whether urine tests or blood tests. I have seen people who did not believe ultrasounds, whether transvaginal or abdominal. I have even seen people who continued to fear pregnancy after having their fallopian tubes removed.

That is what fascinates and confuses me about this phobia. At some point, it seems to stop being about pregnancy itself and starts becoming about uncertainty, fear, and the inability to fully trust evidence, no matter how strong that evidence may be.

My question, after all of this, is: at what point does a pregnancy test become enough? At what point does an ultrasound become certainty, whether it is internal or external? How far do we have to go before we can finally convince our minds that we are okay?

If the evidence is not enough, then when does enough actually become enough?

Flair: In crisis ⚠️

Guys, I am in the middle of an anxiety crisis. I do not want anything to happen to me, but why is my body still acting strangely against my will?

It has been 17 weeks since everything happened, since the last time I had sex with a guy. And I regret it, I regret it every day. I regret it when I wake up, when I eat, when I shower, when I lie down, and even when I dream.

I no longer know what to do. I should start therapy soon, as is obvious. But as time passes, I increasingly feel that I am reaching a deadline.

My periods scare me a lot. They are very frightening to me. They are light, with little flow, probably because I took a hormone overdose.

I have countless negative blood tests and ultrasounds, and none of that seems to be enough.

My history:

*• January:* 23
*• February:* 3, 13, **18**, 19 and 26
*• March:* 13, 18, **20**, 26 and 31
*• April:* 15, **22** and 27
*• May:* 14, **20** and 26

Currently, I have a total of 16 negative tests, and the ones that are underlined in bold are the monthly ultrasounds I have been having.

My periods occurred on these dates:

*• January*: 8 to 12
*• February*: 20 to 21
*• March*: 26 to 30
*• April*: 26 to 31
*• May*:

My body is giving me crazy symptoms, and I am also starting to feel like I am going crazy. I took two emergency contraceptive pills (22/Jan and 23/Jan), I even tried to insert a copper IUD for emergency contraception (23/Jan), and then I took a combined hormonal contraceptive from 28/Jan to 17/Feb. Could this be the reason my body is so out of balance?

I mean, my hormonal tests are normal, and the CA-125 is also normal. So if it is not pregnancy, fibroids, cervical cancer, ovarian cysts, etc., why has my body still not regulated and recovered after 4 months, almost 5, since my last sexual intercourse?

I will stop testing in September, and in October it will be my desired 9 months, meaning it will be the end of the line for me.

**Future plans:**

**• June:** 11, 18, 25 and **30**
**• July:** 15, **23** and 30
**• September:** 4, 9 and **30**

With my body acting in a strange way, I will never feel 100% at peace.

I am praying that the tests keep coming back negative.

There are 33 days left until my next appointment. I am going to talk to her about my cycles behaving strangely, and of course, it will also be my sixth ultrasound.

Boa sorte para mim! 🫪

Dec 26-31 heavy bleeding

Jan 22 unprotected sex plus yuzpe

Jan 23-31 heavy bleeding

March 1,7,10 and 11 negative test

March 12-17 heavy bleeding

April 4 and 6 negative test

April 8-13 heavy bleeding

May 4 and 11 negative test

May 12-17 heavy bleeding

May 18 negative test

Can I now rule out pregnancy and stop thinking about hidden and cryptic pregnancy? I saw a lot of testimonies that they have bleeding and negative pregnancy test yet they are pregnant an they knew it at 20 plus weeks of pregnancy. I saw one that she had negative test for 4 months but still pregnant. Also someone that had 2 full period so she didn't suspect she's pregnant.

Guys I know this is stupid but please. All i need is reassurance and help.

April 23, I masturbated for the FIRST time.
April 27-28, Got SA'd the guy fingered me. ( he hand pre-cum on his hand)

April 29, i had egg-white discharge
Ovulation day prediction - May 1-2

May 4 and 6, he fingered me again.

So later that day (May 6), i had a weird white looking discharge that has some blood in it. It was slimy.

May 7, i woke up with a small spotting in my underwear. Then around 7 pm, i had discharge again. It was brown and has hints of small blood clot (really small.)

May 8 (3:00 am), brown discharge with red streaks and little blood clots again.

9-10, no discharge, no stain. Just when I pee. It was watery and light brown. I tried inserting a finger then when i pull it out, some old blood was in my finger, I'll describe it as wet tissue paper, close to dissolving.

Please help, guys...

tested negative may 12

Got my period as of May 15

After my period ended i took a test again. It was negative but i saw a faintest line or maybe im just imagining things.

I then got movements from my stomach, sometimes cramping or stomach sounds. I have been bloated as well and i read somewhere that if you lay on your back your tummy will be flat. but mine is not.

Im afraid it might be some "ectopic pregnancy".

help guys, please. i need reassurance.

Hello ,
J’ai eu il y a moins d’une semaine une ovulation assez douloureuse et les règles sont arrivées avec 5 jours d’avance , j’ai fais un test de grossesse négatif la semaine dernière et j’ai un stérilet au cuivre , ça me met dans une angoisse phénoménale j’ai tout de suite peur de faire une grossesse extra utérine ou autre…
Aidez moi à faire redescendre la pression svp…

Hello, I am new here and I feel this place is perfect for my fear. I've always felt so silly for being afraid of pregnancy every month, even on months I had no intercourse, and I'm not alone in that.

This month my period didn't come, I don't know why. Its not uncommon for me to have weird cycles but this is quite long even for me. PMS symptoms have been everywhere and I've been so bloated I feel like a rubber ball. I keep thinking ill look and see blood... but no

I'm very safe in bed. Safe enough im 99% sure I am not pregnant, me and my boyfriend agree it would have to be immaculate conception... but that 1%. how do I deal with this one percent? It has been costing me sleep, making me nervous, ruining my peace of mind every time i feel bloated, thinking to myself 'what if it's a baby and now you have to become a mom? what if? what if??'

I should take a pregnancy test, but I feel so guilty asking my boyfriend for one even though he offered. I just lost my job and I feel like a huge burden on him. Another part of me is so scared for if it were to come back positive. My whole life could be over. Schrodinger's pregnancy.

I'm not sure what to do with myself. My friend just laughs at me. How do I handle this anxiety?

I recently joined after finding out the name of my phobia. This is my first post.

I am a 36 yo female with a Catholic and Latina background. Ever since I was little, I thought I would at least have two children. Although I'm grateful for the life I have lived, and for my current partner, I'm at a loss for seemingly letting my youthful years go without trying to have a child because of fear of pain and confusion.

Also, my current partner has never wanted children. There was a time we both wondered 'Yes' or 'No', but he decided 'No' over 5 years ago.

I'm afraid it's too late. I'm afraid I'm not good enough. I'm afraid of growing an individual inside of me. Giving birth being a bloody and near-death event. I'm afraid that the day I finally have a child in my arms, is the day I will always worry about the million ways I'm not only messing up with decisions regarding my life, but someone else's.

I'm also afraid I'll be alone, seeing as I know my partner loves me, but I think he loves his life not being a parent more than he loves me. And I've also had a fear that any child of mine will be taken by my mother somehow. She's the baby expert. In every single way-she's seen it and done it all. There won't be a moment where I'll be doing anything right in her eyes.

I love children. I was a preschool teacher for so many years. I exited that career recently because I thought I was finally ready to settle down and try. Even if my partner gave me the go ahead, I would still be scared. Scared of the entire process. I take mental health medication and have other chronic illnesses, so I know there can be real complications.

I always think about holding my own baby and smiling wide. The comfort of seeing him or her smile, eat, play and laugh. Watching them grow, day by day. I was looking forward to teaching my child how to speak Spanish, as my current partner only speaks English. There's something so comforting for me to think of having my own family.

But at this point, it's just all been fantasy because of all my fears. I just don't ever want to think that I'll regret even trying to get pregnant because of fear. There have been so many wonderful things in life I've missed out on because of fear. Fear of physical pain. Fear of emotional pain. Fear of regretting my choice to even have a family.

I just want someone to love me enough to say that this is what they want too. That they love me, no matter what I decide. I don't want to beg another, or convince even myself.

I'm not sure what I need, but I would like some emotional support. I don't really have any friends right now (I moved in with my partner two years ago and haven't actively made any female friends at work or just in the area).

I am the only daughter and the second oldest in a big family of six total children. I feel alone in this decision, but also feel that it wouldn't be right to bring someone into this world. I was upset about being alive and being a female when I grew up with all brothers.

I just need some reassurance and friendship.

Thanks for reading. And thank you for adding me into this group.