So this is my first time doing all this and got a closing cost sheet, as you can see the VA Funding Fee, MIP, and PMI still need to be removed (more than 10% disability), but other than that does anyone with experience see anything i should be alarmed at or bring up? or just overall general thoughts, i really appreciate any insight

Hello all,

Let me start by saying that I am not a veteran, my father was. Last year he passed away of natural causes and when being placed in hospice it was the most surreal thing to hear 'thank you for your service' when he never once talked about his military history with my mom and I.

Since then I've been trying to push my mom to look into his history with the army. Eventually we started to look into it, found out that he had this 'certificate of eligibility' in closet, we talked to the VA near us and were informed to request his DD214.

It took my mother and I awhile to finally get around to submitting that form but once we did and finally heard back, well.. They don't have anything. Even now they still haven't found it or anything on him for that matter. All they cold find is that he served from 58' to 59'. They couldn't even see what branch he served. We knew he used his brother's birth year to get in but we don't think he used his name or SSN. Currently they still have not found his dd214 or any other information on him.

The only thing my dad kept from those years was a certificate of eligibility for loan guaranty and benefits from the Veterans Administration and a photo of him in army uniform. We already knew he was enigmatic but I know there has to be something on his history with the army..

I've been so adamant on finding out any info I can as my father was not the best person but he was still my dad. That certificate of eligibility has a box ticked on it for PL- 89-358 and on the back it has an amount of I think 25k for a home loan. It was issued on February 2nd of 1979 by the Veterans Administration and signed in Jacksonville, FL. He always talked about a better life and living elsewhere and how he hated the life he had. He could have had that if he just.. acted on all of these opportunities from the VA but instead he lived with regrets and now I'm stuck trying to find a way to help my mom get out of her living situation. The rented home she's staying at his from the 40s and the landlord won't help her with any of the mold, termites, or anything with the property. Heck she's been on the wait list for a new roof for over 2 years while water damage still sits prominently throughout the home. She can't afford to fix it all on her own or even rent a different property due to her credit score.

My mother has fought to be strong for 28 years with my dad. He never claimed either of us on military documents or even did any for himself. Even in college now I never have put down that I'm the child of a veteran despite the fact he served because he simply had no paperwork and wouldn't talk about any of it.

Recently, I called the Jacksonville office to inquire on the certificate and was told to have my mom file a DIC form. But we can't file it without his dd214 and I'm not sure what to do now. I did some minor research and it suggest his information could be within the National Archives but even that I'm completely ignorant on.

I'm reaching out here in hopes that anyone can provide me with insight within this veteran community as to what to do here. I hope I am within the parameters of requesting help on the board and I'm looking forward to hearing back from anyone who has any insight on the matter.

Thank you so much and thank you for your services to all vets reading.

Hello all so I’m ready for a career change. Currently, I only work part time doing IT work but I want to change to something lie FEMA or Americorps. Are those rewarding endeavors ?

Looking for some networking opportunities! I’m wondering if any of the guys/gals in here followed their military experience up at LM? I’ll be out of the military very soon and have 5 years of experience on airframes.

Any other companies better than LM? Thanks everyone🇺🇸

When you got out, what are things that stood out as surprising to you?

For me:

- my boss doesn’t care where I am over the weekend, nor care in general, as long as I get work done.
- people truly do not understand the military, Army: you must have been in the infantry. Navy: you’re always on a ship: Air Force: pilot. Marines: eat crayon, lift weights and get yelled at.

Did you struggle to afford necessities & wants when getting out of basic training? Did you get a Star card to buy your TV, barracks items, additional uniforms, etc?

I remember not being able to afford the things I needed upon leaving AIT/Basic Training. I must’ve spent the money I accrued during training during leave between my graduation & my first duty station. I quickly maxed out my $600 limit on my Star card.

I’ve never been to war but I have severe PTSD from my childhood trauma. The feeling of loneliness and loss from death is pretty intense. My father not only was the abuser but also the only person that I had in my life that would fight for me. I’ve lost my family and now I’m pushing through college. It’s hard to bond with new people since I went through pretty insane trauma. How do you deal with your loneliness and PTSD triggers? What helps you get through? Could be anything honestly , I would love to know.

100% Disabled Vet. I’m in my early 30s. Have 2 kids. Work in cybersecurity making six figures ~200k. But life is a bit sad in the U.S. in a way. I miss living I. Europe. My wife is European (Eastern Europe), and her family lives in Germany where we met. Her family and my oldest have an amazing relationship and I feel it’ll be better being in Europe to be closer to them.

But I recognize finding jobs in Europe (without US companies) is a pain. So I’m wondering if living just in VA could make Spain work.

The reason for Spain is that I’m Puerto Rican, so with Spanish as first language and the 2 year path to citizenship I could take advantage of the spouse visa for the first 2 years (which I can get in ~ 3 months or so I’ve read).

Ideally I’d find IT or cyber work in Spain, unsure if the move is moving first and then finding the job because no luck on finding them from the U.S. even though I’m a manager and super skilled in cybersecurity.

Any vets out there in Spain working in the local economy?

So I went the ITY route and started school in 2017 graduated in 19 and then got a cyber cert from Auburn in 23. I never got into the field. I work for a title company remote but the pay is horrible, and when I say horrible I mean I couldn't live alone off of it. I am thinking about taking up welding to make some actual money. When I lived in FL I did go to trade school for HVAC but there was no money in it in Pensacola and all the jobs were paying 15 bucks a hour. Now I am trying to make some good money before I am too old but I don't know if I will get hired. I know employers cant say no because of my age they can just use other excuses. It's sad to say but my goal is to make 52k a year. I am a hour to a hour and 1/2 West of Philly and just got here in March.

I've been out just under two years. The job I'm applying for requires a reference for every position held in the last 3 years. I'm no longer in contact with any of my old leadership, and don't particularly want a reference from them anyway. I don't need a character reference just a factual reference, time in service, position, no legal action taken. A DD214 is not sufficient. Any suggestions?

Yesterday as I was traveling home I was doing some internalizing and came to a conclusion. I hate being told what to do. After 22+ years as an enlisted soldier, I've been told to do a lot of stupid stuff. I don't know if it's because of that or I'm just older, but I really hate being told what to do.

It can be both simple things and complex things. For example, at a recent concert the whole audience is following the lead of the singer waving their arm back and forth, but not me. And the one that made me really put thought into this was when my ex and I were talking about one of our teenage children. For the past few years she has mentioned on more than one occasion that the kids are grown and she shouldn't have to tell them to do basic things, but recently, through therapy, she changed her mind and wanted to implement some things with one of the kids to be a better parent. I was totally against doing things her way and would find what works best when the kids were with me. Basically, I loathed the idea of her telling me what to do. Tell me what needs to be accomplished and I'll find the way I feel is best to get it done.

Do any other vets feel this way, in one way or another?

Mike's core complaint is that the medical system demands "constant presence" and emotional performance just to receive care, which feels like a suffocating mismatch for someone who operates on precise, data-only terms. He's tired of having to translate his reality into their vague, compliance-focused language simply to get what he needs. The honest question is: how can he strip this interaction down to a bare, transactional data exchange without having to justify his identity or exhaust himself proving he belongs?

12 years federal service Army/VA.

Anyone on here worked for or know of anyone that’s worked for Americorps?how was that experience? I’m considering applying for a position. Thanks.

I'm making this to vent my frustrations, because I really have no one to say any of this to. I made a really bad decision joining the military. It was a knee jerk decision to get out of my parents' home and I've been regretting for over 4 years. I was separated involuntarily 6 months ago and honestly, its been hell. I struggled to find a job and ended up living in my car for months. This probably makes no sense to some of you but, honestly sometimes I feel like I'm cursed to being a below average human who can do nothing right. I didn't save enough money and really couldn't figure out how to lock down employment to escape my situation. I eventually reached out to a local veterans organization who was able to help me find employers and get me into a stable situation. I was behind on car payments obviously and ended up having my car repossessed in the night. Now I have no transportation and will have to find another way to work. I was trying to come up with some money to get my car payments back on track and it ended up happening too fast. It feels like I'm destined to be a loser. My record will be effected by this for a long time and I have no one to blame but myself for not having the life skills to fix things. That car was my home for months and I lost it because I wasn't good enough for the military. I wish I could go back in time and change things but all I can do is accept the present and try to make a better future. Sometimes I don't think I'll ever escape this hole I keep digging myself into. I'll most likely never make enough money to get that car back and it's all my fault. For anyone who's reading this in a better position than me, I wish I was you so bad. Thanks for taking the time to read this.

Has anyone said yes to the pre eval psychiatric questions when they go to a VA Facility? You know the ones about “Do you want to hurt yourself or others”? “Any thoughts of dying,etc”?

I feel like most people lie, but for anyone that said yes what would happen out of curiosity?

Wondering how Tricare for Life works with a younger spouse. I will be eligible for TFL in a few years, which I understand means I need to start paying Medicare Part B. But my spouse won't be old enough for Medicare. Will she be covered by TFL even though she isn't paying for Part B?

Almost 50 and never really thought about life insurance until recently. Wondering if anyone has experience with the VALife program and if it's good or garbage.

Hi all,

After a little over two years with my company, I was recently let go from my corporate role. It’s given me an unexpected opportunity to think pretty seriously about what I want to do next.

I’m curious if anyone here has made the jump from corporate America to working for yourself or starting a small business. What did that transition look like for you? Anything you wish you knew before making the leap?

I’ve realized I’m pretty burned out on the corporate world, and the idea of building something of my own, where I can work directly with people and actually see the impact I’m making, is becoming more and more appealing.

I’d love to hear from anyone who’s been down that road. Any advice, lessons learned, or even cautionary tales are welcome.

Thanks, all!

I'm 45, and lately I've been wondering what the hell happened to me.

I spent 13 years active duty military. Eventually medically retired. I was trained to shut things off, do the job and keep moving. I lost friends. Went through failed marriages and plenty of other hard shit. For a long time I could take some pretty serious things on the chin and just keep going.

Now I'm getting ready to move, and I'm genuinely upset because I'm leaving behind the wild birds I've been feeding. I keep thinking about them coming back looking for food and wondering where it went. I know they're wild birds. I know they'll find other food. Doesn't matter. It still bothers the hell out of me.

Then there's an old trailer on the property that I'm getting rid of. A doe and her baby have been bedding underneath it. The mom has a bad leg and limps pretty badly, and now I'm sitting here feeling guilty because I'm taking away the place she apparently decided was safe for her baby.

Twenty years ago I can't imagine this affecting me like this.

And I'm not embarrassed to care about animals. That's not really the point. What's strange to me is the contrast. I've been through objectively awful things and stayed pretty damn hard through them, yet at 45 I'm sitting here worried that a crippled deer is going to wonder where her house went.

Have any other guys, especially veterans, experienced this as they got older?

Do you actually become more emotional or empathetic with age? Or does all the stuff you spent years stuffing down eventually change the way you look at vulnerable things?

I'm genuinely curious because I don't dislike this version of myself. I just don't completely understand him yet.

Hello everyone! I recently accepted a job and will be moving almost 600 miles for work. I start at the end of September and am looking at renting for the first 5-6 months before using the VA loan to purchase a home.

I had a few questions about the VA loan and any website that claims to have answers for me basically wants all my information and then bombards my email with spam to use the loan without actually answering any of my questions. So if anyone could answer these for me I'd be very appreciative.

1) Do I need a certain amount of work history? I got out in 2018 and just graduated from college this past December. I have worked on and off over the years between breaks in school. I have the offer letter from the company I will be working for, will that be sufficient?

2) What is a reasonable expectation for a time frame to go from offer to closing on a home? Like I said I am planning on renting for 5-6 months and while I have been looking at homes I am unsure when I should seriously contact a realtor. I would be fine with 1-2 months of covering a lease and mortgage overlap.

3) For the VA loan should I try and go with a big mortgage company or would a "standalone" realtor also be OK? I'd appreciate any input.

Thanks in advance for any information!

I want to go to the er so bad for the thousandth time only for them to tell me take some ibuprofe and go home. I have cervical stenosis and it’s been getting pretty bad lately . Might just be a flare up . I’m just out of sorts man constantly from constant pain , constant sleep problems . Everything is just constant and it’s constantly wrong . I tried so many times to get help from the va but idk I guess there’s just not much to do with pain like this aside from surgery and it’s not a simple surgery. I just want to go to school get a job but I feel so weak man I’m past sadness and anger . I just want something to give before I snap idk what’s going to snap but something is lol everything’s stressed that’s how it goes I think . Just wondering when this becomes an emergency cause every time I go to the va it’s a thousand appointments and no real treatment just imaging and try these work outs at home

For those who were approved for VR&E retroactive induction, how many months of GI Bill entitlement did you get refunded?