My idea for hell

[u/Own_Swimming_6970]

Long long ago god made heaven fir all the humans on earth but it was defective it didn't fit right it had something wrong with its design so he threw it away abd git to work om a new heaven for his angels abd fir him eventually life grew and devolved on its own in the first heaven God had made and that life became demons and thanks to the magic that he embedded into that first heaven it became a land shaped by the general populations belief on how it should be the veey space of that land changing to fit what they desired it to be so when God punished his rebellious and sent them down to this lesser heaven they expected a land of danger abd fire and so the old heaven changed into thier hell to match what they thought they deserved and thanks to religion on earth any human who goes to hell will still only see it as a place of danger and torture abd not the heaven it coukd be

[u/Catnip-Cove]

I’m sure there’s a good idea under the garbled nonsense. But all I can see is garbled nonsense. You don’t have to be the best writer in the world, but it needs to be legible. Why should we bother to take time over your ideas when you can’t be bothered to even check basic typos or use punctuation?

[u/Own_Swimming_6970 → u/[deleted]]

Sorry if what I wrote was to long snd to big English isn't my furst language and sometimes I struggle with the grammar in this language

[u/Glittering_Frame_MS]

What is this shit?

[u/Own_Swimming_6970 → u/Glittering_Frame_MS]

Just an idea my brain had

[u/babamum → u/Own_Swimming_6970]

Write another draft, with paragraphs. Check your spelling before posting it. There's a good idea in there, and I'd like to hear more about it.

Go into a little bit more detail about the failed heaven.

[u/Own_Swimming_6970 → u/babamum]

This was all written in the mist if a mental breakdown so sorry if it isn't the most well written thing but if you want I can try abd go more in depth with why this first heaven failed and then became hell

[u/babamum → u/Own_Swimming_6970]

Go for it! I think it's an intriguing idea. I hope you're feeling better.

[u/Own_Swimming_6970 → u/babamum]

The issue is my brain can't really figure out what made the first heaven be thrown away and considered a failure nor van I figure out what else would happen in a story like this

[u/babamum → u/Own_Swimming_6970]

And that's your challenge! Long walks by the water can help your brain work through it.

[u/Own_Swimming_6970 → u/babamum]

Thanks fir the advice dude I'll have a second draft by next week

[u/Own_Swimming_6970 → u/babamum]

Yeahbi do have a wattpad page I update frequently when my brain has these werid moememts so ill probably add more to it there