r/absoluteunit • u/sherlionidas • 3d ago

Of a man

Enable HLS to view with audio, or disable this notification

3.6k Upvotes

99% Upvoted

475 comments sorted by

208

u/jay_insd 3d ago

When the big dude got out the car, the smaller dude realized he better stand down 😂

118

u/exqueezemenow 3d ago

I woulda handed him my wallet too just to be safe.

32

u/wowaddict71 3d ago

Offer him his first born as a tribute.

44

u/InfamousEconomy3972 3d ago

This bitch letting his kids get in front of him

6

u/Jackal000 9h ago

I think the kids were like dude let it go. My dad is not right in his mind. They were ashamed and de escalating

27

u/CelticGardenGirl 3d ago

“Ere…have a go wit me wife, too.”

3

u/wowaddict71 1d ago

You can take my wife but not my noodles!

2

u/Comprehensive_Gur241 1d ago

sad he was gonna let him have the kid first. as rough as a response to Viking village incursion

2

u/mattforstretch 5h ago

Yeah, kid comes up after dad walks away. You can tell by the look, he is apologizing to him. I know that part too well with my own experiences.

11

u/hamoc10 3d ago

Heck that kid wanted to go with him!

11

u/eddiesmom 2d ago

"You're cooler than my dick of a dad"

→ More replies (4)

4

u/Mbyrd420 3d ago

I think the firstborn would've gotten the best part of that deal.

3

u/Radio_Mime 2d ago

I think the younger son probably would’ve offered himself as a bonus

5

u/SevereMiel 2d ago

First born offered himself

→ More replies (5)

18

u/_dxegrl 3d ago

And slap around my kid for bit, we're good right?

3

u/Mysterious_Worker608 3d ago

And kicked myself in the ass .

2

u/exqueezemenow 3d ago

"Here, let me to that for you!"

→ More replies (8)

15

u/potsticker17 3d ago

Both of his kids seemed ready to square up though.

12

u/No_One_Special_61029 3d ago

They get that from their shitty parents!

8

u/elephant_ndovu 3d ago

I think they were trying to deescalate the situation

14

u/Teripid 3d ago

Yep.. this is not their first rodeo with dad.

The light touch/pat at the end came off as very sympathetic. Sorry you had to deal with this. Thanks for not pummeling our agro dad..

8

u/Negative_Salt_4599 2d ago

I once had a gf of a boyfriend pay me 11$ not to go crazy on her man because he kept on throwing snacks at me as a night shift 7 eleven clerk..

After the skittles hit me in my chest I was like ok F this let’s dance..

I was also way more tempered in my 20s..

Easiest 11$ I’ve ever made. 😂

→ More replies (1)
→ More replies (2)

3

u/ParmyBarmy 2d ago

No they calmed things down after what their idiot dad did

3

u/OkDonkey6524 3d ago

Absolutely not. The one in the red jumper just wanted to pacify him.

3

u/wellitsbouttime 3d ago

and they would have learned a valuable lesson that day.

→ More replies (3)

9

u/Current_Ad_4292 3d ago

Oh, is that why they look so much shorter? Because they stand down? I will see my self out of here.

9

u/Da_Vader 3d ago

And hide behind his kids.

3

u/Smboto 3d ago

He decided to; step off.

3

u/Hot_Let7154 3d ago

And used his kids as shields, pathetic.

3

u/Loud_Ad_2634 3d ago

“Oh sorry Andre, I didn’t recognize you there, I’ll go ahead and fuck off now.”

2

u/vinssent1 3d ago

Bro we saw that, thanks for explanation

2

u/Horror-Extent2362 3d ago

He literally hid behind children lol

2

u/AnnualFault7473 3d ago

He flash his gun I believe too so the big guy wouldn’t hurt him.

→ More replies (1)

2

u/Economy-Date-4490 2d ago

At least he hides behind children like a man.

→ More replies (1)
→ More replies (16)

68

u/Substantial_Cheek366 3d ago

That's a big mother fucker 🤣😅

13

u/Ill_Advised_Rock 3d ago

I don’t know how he fit in that Porsche suv. Has to be uncomfortable

7

u/Fast_Edd1e 2d ago

Do you find something comical about my appearance when I am driving my automobile?

2

u/PSTGtheFirst 14h ago

This is the largest automobile I could afford...

2

u/Smboto 3d ago

Its a German car.

→ More replies (2)

3

u/MosesCoulee 3d ago

I’m not a small guy by any means and I still go into mosh pits.. DO NOT fuck with guys this size. Lots of people smaller than me but when I go head on with these kinds I get yeeted off like I’m a toddler.

→ More replies (10)
→ More replies (7)

49

u/Shaynna-9 3d ago

😒🙄 Little "man" stirs the pot and then allows younger sons to step out front. Good on you to the giant who never laid a hand on any of them.

36

u/MossadEpstein 3d ago

The kids were trying to deescalate, which tells me that they've probably been through this shit before :(

11

u/Mr-_-Soandso 3d ago

Yeah he was doing nervous movements like he wanted to say something, and then that last reach seemed like an attempt at a "thank you."

7

u/Shaynna-9 3d ago

I noticed that. Had to watch twice to see one young son reach his hand out to the large man's arm.

→ More replies (1)

3

u/RachelRachel71 2d ago

Yep. They’ve seen their prick of a father escalate many times. Weak little man.

→ More replies (2)
→ More replies (1)

29

u/DankaTiger 3d ago

Little kid, saying thank you for not beating my dad.

14

u/MossadEpstein 3d ago

it's kinda sad because I got the impression that the kids have had to step in and try to deescalate situations their manbaby parents have caused at least several times before this, they have clearly had to do this before.

the big man is right, blue shirt manchild needs to set a better example for his damn kids.

8

u/LastRecognition2041 3d ago

That kid is a stand-up guy. He was justifiably scared and still went to help his dad. That guy didn’t deserve that level of loyalty.

5

u/wellitsbouttime 3d ago

I think the smaller dad has been quite lucky that consequences haven't happened. If the larger man bounced the smaller mans skull on the pavement a couple times, he would be less likely to cause situations like this in the future.

→ More replies (1)
→ More replies (1)

26

u/Bobcat1999-1 3d ago

Yes sir, I just wanted to wish you good day. Thank you and have a beautiful day sit

15

u/Darkflyer726 3d ago

When the chihuahua barks at the wrong Great Dane

2

u/Radio_Mime 2d ago

The short hot head is like a tea cup pitbull.

2

u/Darkflyer726 2d ago

🤣🤣

17

u/Remarkable-Being-301 3d ago

Let me slip off this suv and we can talk about it.

→ More replies (1)

14

u/CollectsTooMuch 3d ago

“You little fucking piece of shit”. He knows the score. I’m a big guy, and little angry men are hilarious.

3

u/skiforlife1 3d ago

Too true. Me, my dad and my 3 brothers are all 6'4" and up. One day a guy ran a stop sign and almost hit us so my dad honked and yelled at him. The guy got out like he was gonna throw so we all climbed out of a Ford Taurus and watched the guy get right back in his car and speed off. If the guy would have just said sorry about running the stop sign it would have been over but he had to try to be Billy badass.

2

u/Schorbie 2d ago

My dad is tiny. But people still didn't like it when he got out of his car. They often got back in fast

2

u/skiforlife1 2d ago

I think a lot of people just think they are intimidating until it comes time to step up. Like a dog that barks through a fence then runs away when you open the gate!

2

u/AstrayInTranslation 2d ago

Five 6’4 guys in a Ford Taurus? How exactly does that work?

→ More replies (1)
→ More replies (1)
→ More replies (1)

10

u/Swimming-Junket-1828 3d ago

An army of short angry people

4

u/throwawaystarters 3d ago

It was only one angry people. The kids had to desecalate. That's so fucking sad

12

u/Advanced_Plankton_60 3d ago

You know what, at least the smaller guy backed down and walked away. As a bigger guy, not an absolute unit like this mf'er, I can't tell you how many times throughout my life I got put into situations. It's always the short guys that start it, because if you do anything you just look like the asshole picking on the little guy and they know that so they keep going bc if you end up being the bigger man and just walk away they act like they're some kind of tough guy. It's a lose-lose situation.

5

u/lonesome68 3d ago

Fucking amen brother. Little people love to test big people. They act all tough but if it comes to blows they cry saying you are beating up a little guy. Was much worse before cell phone cameras. Now at least most gets recorded and there's proof of the bs they pull.

→ More replies (1)

3

u/WildBigfoots 2d ago

You aren’t wrong. I am a small dude. When I moved to NYC I was probably 120 pounds. I was never one to start fights, but I would love pushing back against big guys. In my mind I thought either they don’t know how to fight, or if they do they know they will absolutely kill me. Somehow that worked out long enough for me to wise up.

2

u/Full-Tomorrow9889 2d ago

Angry Chihuahua syndromezl, but with people. They rarely get disciplined. Like with Chihuahuas.

11

u/POTATOMASOCHIST 3d ago

This moron letting his kids be in harm's way. What an absolute PoS.

10

u/melee85 3d ago

“I believe that’s Mr. Gilmore’s”

9

u/Neuvirths_Glove 3d ago

I won a "fight" like this once. I as sitting in a dorm hallway with a girl I was dating. Her ex-boyfriend showed up and started yelling and screaming at her. I am 6'-2" but at the time I was a scrawny 180 pounds. But I was wearing my fraternity jacket (similar to a HS varsity jacket). I stood up and the guy was no more than 5'-8". I looked down at him, leaned forward, and said in the most deadpan voice I could muster, "Just leave. NOW."

Not knowing how empty my puffy sleeves were and noting that he could be targeted by other members of my frat, he turned and left. To be honest I think he could have kicked my ass, but... he left.

→ More replies (1)

7

u/Radio_Mime 3d ago

It seems like those two young boys are used to managing their father’s behaviour to some degree.

4

u/lilacsforcharlie 3d ago

Just heartbreaking

2

u/Radio_Mime 2d ago

It is. They're parenting their own parents when they do that.

3

u/AstrayInTranslation 2d ago

Please sir. Don’t kill my father.

3

u/Frequent-Interest796 2d ago

As the incident was ending, the way the kid put out his hand and to brush the guy’s arm was a non verbal thanks for not beating up my dad.

The kid knows how to de-escalate.

→ More replies (1)

4

u/Juniper_Beary_ 2d ago

Hid behind his kids. What a pathetic excuse for a human being

4

u/Lost-Juggernaut6521 3d ago

Choke slam would have been cooler 😎

4

u/amarsh73 3d ago

Miracle Max: "Beat it, or I'll call the Brute Squad!"

Fezzik: "I'm on the Brute Squad."

Miracle Max: "You ARE the Brute Squad."

3

u/Outrageous_Lack8435 3d ago

Mountain of a mannnnnn

3

u/vomputer 3d ago

Who tf are these people, the group just kept getting odder and odder.

3

u/Nocturnatron 3d ago

Oh, Mr. Foot, i didn't realize it was you, sir

3

u/PickedLastLemon 3d ago

Props for the teen son trying to kindly get between the sasquatch and his Dad. Protecting while also being apologetic and level headed.

3

u/OpeningAggressive26 3d ago

Lol what are the chances that the guy is bigger than your whole family put together.

3

u/ArcherMiserable 2d ago

It was at this point Larry realized, he fcked up. Let's watch what happens next.....

2

u/Callemlikeisethem60 3d ago

Whole family finna get beat the hell up 😬😬😬😬🙄

2

u/OtherwiseBlock8741 3d ago

If you listen carefully, at the right moment you can actually hear the little guy shit his pants.

2

u/Smboto 3d ago

What is that man talking to those children about?

2

u/Frosty_Finger9606 3d ago

Don't mess with a man who match dresses with his wife - they pent up. You got lucky Son!

2

u/traveller1976 3d ago

That de-escalated fast

2

u/Substantial_Boss1264 3d ago

The kids saw their future being orphaned so they stepped in and apologized to the giant.

2

u/Old_Celebration_5950 3d ago

Say what you want about the big guy. His son in red shirt is a true hero for stepping in front of his dad to calm him down.

2

u/VashDaStampede7 3d ago

That’s awesome 😂

2

u/GhostX6889 3d ago

Que cobarde para meter a los hijos.

2

u/shitty_advice_BDD 3d ago

The one kid apologized for his dad damn and I hear the guy say your dad's fucked up buddy. Those poor kids.

2

u/Merrick_Skygrave 3d ago

This is the most hostile I've seen Canadians get

'Hey fack you bahddy, you better get back or you're gonna be soar-y'

2

u/Westcoastlucky 3d ago

Show me a man who has never lost a fight because he’s never had to be in a fight

2

u/WowNeso 2d ago

Nephellim.

2

u/Puzzleheaded-Way2575 2d ago

What’s up with the striped sleeve mutant? He thought he’d help his
Dad step up? Then he was like “pardon us sir, have a good day!”

1

u/pata_de_perro 3d ago
  • Ok, ok, don't do it again. I got go man.

1

u/alqimist 3d ago

Good restraint by him.

1

u/Sporkpocalypse 3d ago

Canadian Buddies

1

u/DamienRaventhrone 3d ago

That little guy saw his life flash before his eyes once the big guy walked up to him.

1

u/Acrobatic_Event1702 3d ago

Sasquatch steps out of the car.

1

u/owl-overlord 3d ago

Babe don't.... Lol.

1

u/More_Cowbell_Inc 3d ago

He’s just so much bigger!

1

u/Tall_Investigator611 3d ago

Lol! Gargantua changed his mind pretty fast...

1

u/kantynowy_zboj 3d ago

What are you a fucking owl?

1

u/WeGotThis001 3d ago

"WELL.... Well it's the Big Show!"

→ More replies (1)

1

u/koulourakiaAndCoffee 3d ago

If you want to be a hot head and confront random people aggressively, always make sure to bring your kids so you can put them between you and the danger /s

WTH? 😵‍💫

1

u/DotAffectionate87 3d ago

"Gulp"..... Your right it was my fault, I reversed into you, my bad!!

1

u/PsychologicalEntropy 3d ago

I shit myself

1

u/Mother_Opposite_1013 3d ago

"You wanna fuck around?"

1

u/cardinalforce 3d ago

I mean he’s more like 1.8 units tbf

1

u/I_used_to_be_hip 3d ago

I was waiting for the big guy to dislocate his jaw and swallow the little guy whole.

1

u/slick514 3d ago

Oh look, it’s big Ed! Quick, p*nch him in the face before he gets away!

1

u/ErwinSchrodinger64 3d ago

That dude has his own zip code.

1

u/Front-Cup7165 3d ago

I 100% thought the guy reaching through the window was gonna be the absolute unit somehow, then Andre steps out and damn... M Night still has it👏

https://giphy.com/gifs/HtBKcjpHfD7s4

1

u/BlueTongueGang 3d ago

WHO!, who doesn't want to wear da ri-bbon

1

u/richardlpalmer 3d ago

The kids (older one in particular) get me the most here...

1

u/Switchlord518 3d ago

Fe Fi Fo Fum!

1

u/TapBusiness5341 3d ago

Love how the chuds kids had to save his pathetic ass…🤣

1

u/fantomsolace24 3d ago

It’s why I have a police-grade pepper spray in my car…

1

u/Too-Em 3d ago

That's not a man, that's clearly three professional wrestlers in a trench-coat pretending to be a man. Prob on their way trying to get tickets to an R movie.

1

u/JimmyTwoTimes25 3d ago

😂 holy shit

1

u/Historical_Bit_4642 3d ago

Minions vs dude

1

u/WKRPinCanada 3d ago

"Please don't hurt my daddy!"

How fucking bad does that guy feel after his kid had to save his ass?

https://giphy.com/gifs/Hm8qQxDIgbFsjL9msa

1

u/Pleasant-Ticket3217 3d ago

Of course that type of person would hide behind their kids. Surprised they didn’t drive off without one of them.

Fuck that guy was huge. Don’t mess with a legit giant. That guy would just annihilate the whole family.

1

u/youdontknowme1970 3d ago

Run away little man!!!

1

u/watt-ever 3d ago

I think you're gonna need like three or four more tiny people for this.

1

u/Ok-Geologist8296 3d ago

So what were the preteens gonna do?

1

u/Dadbod-58 3d ago

Give the sons props for stepping up. Dad was wrong, but at that moment it was Family

1

u/Equivalent-Role4632 3d ago

He literally had to be saved by his kids

1

u/blacklotusY 3d ago

https://imgur.com/gallery/picking-fight-cOFz367

This reminds me exactly of this scene from Kung Fu Hustle

1

u/Low-Schedule9762 3d ago

That whole fucking family needs a reality check. All fucking stupid.

1

u/Tito-Musk 3d ago

Don't mess with Lenny!

1

u/NaiveBid9359 3d ago

The bigger man was the one who stood between the two and defused the situation.

1

u/Rough_Wish_1299 3d ago

First he was an owl then he was a little f*

1

u/Flat_Association_820 3d ago

Imagine having to hide behind your kids to avoid your own doing.

1

u/mrnicetj 3d ago

That's finny

1

u/OkCharge9080 3d ago

Wee man flashes a gun too.

1

u/roastedTriscuit69 3d ago

The other family just didn't have time for the two even smaller ones to get the trench coat out of the back

1

u/Ok-Freedom1446 3d ago

Do they have Downs Syndrome?

1

u/melnaisbruninieks 3d ago

He has a nerve to talk like that to a Porsche. I want to buy the blue man's alpha male course. 

1

u/Gunung_Krakatoa 2d ago

Good move made by the kids, that could have escalated to something bad quickly.

1

u/MadZmadz1875 2d ago

He takes shits bigger than blue shirt guy, probably.😆

1

u/PoppoLarge 2d ago

This is fascinating, the wife is immediately saying she was on the phone and with such confidence…. Little guy is a complete spaz, big dude gets out the car and he’s an absolute unit but those kids are ready, they are squaring up to the unit and they were completely ready

1

u/No-Mathematician8692 2d ago

Stop talking and FLIP THAT RIDE,TANTOR!

1

u/No-Mathematician8692 2d ago

Kids are thrilled. They gonna talk about this in their school, fk their dad's cred.

1

u/thirtyone-charlie 2d ago

The kids had to de-escalate . How sad.

1

u/everyoneisntme 2d ago

Yes sir. I was in wrong. Here's some. Money, actually all my. Money. Good day to you sir. May God bless you I'm sorry

1

u/SilverKanji 2d ago

Father of the year... Walk away while your kids are in the front line.. Feel sad for those kids growing up with that pussy.

1

u/ocTGon 2d ago

The big guy's partner "Don't" may have helped keep the peace there...

1

u/JoeJamesChic 2d ago

Bomb bay doors open, definitely 💩 himself 😂😂😂😂

1

u/Outrageous-Koala1566 2d ago

Love the kids ! I like the way they came stood up and calmed the big dude.

1

u/DK_Christian_DK 2d ago

the poor kids. really brave of them but man…

1

u/Schorbie 2d ago

I feel like those kids have seen their dad being beat up before for being an idiot. "Yeah, we get it. But please get back in your car"

1

u/TheNaughtyHoneyBee 2d ago

Love how he hides behind someone else after dude erects himself out of the car

1

u/Guilty_Comb_79 2d ago

I've seen this many times.

Mostly with dogs though...lol. Little dog is a complete asshole until big dog calmly walks up and says "what were you saying, I couldn't hear you from over there". Then little dog is like you're bigger than you looked in pictures...