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u/crownoftheredking 4d ago
Stop, im trying to pretend this isnt currently happening.
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u/waitingformygrave 4d ago edited 5h ago
That is currently me. The house is a mess, I feel like a slob, so the shame keeps it dirty when fixing it would be so easy! 😢
Edit: y'all turns out the tiredness and inability to clean lately was a severe double kidney infection. Spent a week at the hospital. Feeling much better everyone!
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u/-Ilovepokemon- overwhelmed (ft. executive dysfuntion) 4d ago
trying to pretend this doesnt happen every day 🥲
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u/Zucc_The_Ducc 4d ago
Jesus Christ that hit me like a truck
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u/MaxYoung 4d ago
Yup same. Out of hundreds of relatable scenarios on this sub, this is the one where i literally had the thought "this is the one". This is what it's like to be me
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u/HubblePie 4d ago
But pawsley needs help with his homework... 🥺
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u/6lackPrincess 4d ago
Is it normal to get a surge of motivation where it's like yeah I can totally complete these 30 things on my overdue to-do lise in the next 3 hours. Like for example when you;re sat on the bus and get a wave of dopamine or something, but then when you get home it's like nope, I'm actually just gonna lay down lol If this is normal then I can at least feel less bad
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u/xError404xx 4d ago
Yes and it includes stuff that are fun like playing videogames.
But also, very rarely, im in a "cleanup mode" where i can clean up a lot.
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u/FidgitForgotHisL-P 3d ago
Yep pretty standard adhd symptom.
It’s executive dysfunction. Which is a significant element of adhd and imo we’re all done a disservice by the branding of what we have. ADHD is named for how we impact other people (frustration at us not paying attention!), not for how it impacts us, because if it was, we do t have an issue with attention, we have an issue with time blindness and motivation and emotional regulation and short term memory and…. That’s all executive dysfunction.
Turning motivation on the bus on the way home into action is something we have to learn to get done, rather than what just happens if you don’t have adhd. It’s also one of the things those lil’ pills help with. Also, exhaustion at managing to keep up with what everyone else expects manifests here too when you ge to your safe space where you can just do nothing, and so… you do.
So yes, you’re perfectly normal, and doing something a bunch of us regularly do the world over. One of us… one of us… ;D
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u/Zero_Anonymity 4d ago
Oh, hey there, Mom.
What's worse is that single mothers with ADHD could be doing their absolute best, pulling themself apart to make your life just a little bit better, but without support there's just not enough of her to DO everything. Being overwhelmed just allows the problems to pile up even higher, making it so much worse for both her and her kid, so she may even push herself into action while still addled and end up burning out even harder. Like trying to drive to work on flat tires so you won't be late, DOING something just makes even more problems too.
It's why even if I grew up up in a house that was falling apart and covered in filth, I don't and won't hate my mom for it. She did her absolute best, and I'm certain if literally anyone else raised me I'd be either a terrible person or dead.
Thank you for this. Its silly beginnings just makes that turn towards darkness so much more effective.
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u/6lackPrincess 4d ago
I wish there was a sub or support group for parents with ADHD. Being a single mum with ADHD is the worst thing that has ever happened to me, and I have survived SI at objectively worse points in my life. Idlk if it is the element of not just having yourself to take care of, and the pressure of not wanting to harm the person you love the most in the world, and knowing that they only have you to depend on.
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u/Zero_Anonymity 4d ago
I honestly can't even imagine. I'm barely able to keep myself held together on my own, so having a child on top of that would mean having all of my energy devoted to just staying alive and their happiness. It's not sustainable, like flexing your muscle for longer than a few seconds, it eventually gives out and needs rest.
The fact you're trying at all to keep the both of you afloat matters much more than you'd think. I remember feeling unabashed, unconditional love for my mom even when things were at its worst; I hope your kid feels the same way.
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u/CatsEqualLife 4d ago
Thank you for sharing this. I’m in your mom’s shoes, fighting just to catch a breath every day and feeling like I’m failing at every turn. Every night I fall asleep hoping it will be enough that my kids will be able to look back and see that I did my best.
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u/Zero_Anonymity 4d ago
I won't lie and say it'll be completely alright - I've still got my lingering issues from how I was raised, after all - but the very fact you're trying will hopefully mean a lot to them in time. I wish I could say anything else to help or comfort, but even now I don't know the full extent of what my mom sacrificed to protect and raise me, because she thankfully never rubbed my nose in or showed me resentment over it. I have to hope your kids come to understand you better with time and learn from the strength it takes to hold yourself together like that.
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u/Swimming-Light8509 3d ago
You have no idea how much this healed a little in me. My daughter is always so kind but I hate how we live. It’s this heavy shame I carry all the time. I hope she knows I love her and this comment made me realize maybe she understands more than I know.
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u/Jmackles 3d ago
Fuck. This is hitting me hard lmao A tree fell on my house. We have 180 days to get a contractor to deal with it for insurance invoice. I’m not sure how many days it’s been. I think we’re still safe. But I’m afraid to check. Fuck
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u/Stoopid_Noah ✨AuDHD✨ 3d ago edited 3d ago
I (AuDHD) recently discovered this neat little trick I can pull on my brain!!
Internal monologue:
"Okay, today I will do this one smal thing.. maybe, if I feel up to it, I can do the other thing too.. but probably not.. we'll see." I do the first thing "Oh, I'm already done? Well, I guess I can have a snack, and then do the other little thing. Maybe I have time to do the stupid task after that, I bet I'll feel real proud when it's finally done.. no pressure though, I'll just do this other small thing for now." I do the second small task
This repeats until I don't want to continue doing tasks. I kinda trick/ force myself into just seeing ONE task at a time, the other things can always wait.
In the last two days I took apart my old desk, build my new one, tidied up and redecorated my bedroom, cleaned my kitchen & dishes, and vacuumed.
Tomorrow, I will tidy up that one corner in my guess room.. just the one little corner, or perhaps more.. 👀
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u/FidgitForgotHisL-P 3d ago
Damn yeah this is a solid approach.
I like to tell myself “getting something done was better than nothing”, so I don’t feel like I’ve failed the day when I didn’t get anywhere near what I wanted to do achieved.
Definitely gonna try telling myself to make sure I just get that one thing done…
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u/Stoopid_Noah ✨AuDHD✨ 3d ago
It's been a battle to allow myself to leave tasks unfinished an revisit them later.. but it made me so much less stressed!
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u/SexWithFaruzan69 Stuck In Scrolling Paralysis Please Send Help 3d ago
I'm in this picture and I don't like it
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u/skyk3409 3d ago
But that is such a cute doggo 😭 i really do wish that doggo didn't think itself into a stooper
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u/Wamblingshark 3d ago edited 3d ago
I usually manage to do those 4 things but by blocking out all of the other stuff until I have a guy at the door telling me he's about to cut my power... I can take care of the house kinda fine but when I start thinking beyond that I start shutting down.
Weirdly I function great in crisis. Was homeless for a bit. Had clarity and focus the entire fucking time until I was back in a regular domestic setting and then I shut down again.
I have realized I probably have ADHD but I hgave 0 healthcare so I can't even get diagnosed...
What's even better is that I think my wife has it worse than me and has healthcare but won't see a doctor... awhile back a "friend" got her into some hard drugs. I got her clean within the year but I think she might have gotten some leftover paranoid schizophrenia as a parting gift or something. She is terrified of everything especially doctors and taking care of her and sometimes the house is about all I can manage.
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u/Rimbrakesteve 4d ago
It took me four images to realize that it's ADH-Dog, and not ADHD-O.G. as in original gangster
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u/amishsheepherder 4d ago
My commute home from work is just over an hour, and I spend the entire time daydreaming about how productive I’m going to be when I get home and how many things I’m going to tackle. And every day without failure, I get home and shower, put on my comfy clothes and rush to my hospice chair like I’m late for it. So this speaks to my soul
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u/the_leewit 3d ago
In my house we often refer to ADHD as awful dog, horrible dog, which makes this funnier imo
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u/HordeDruid 3d ago
This one is so relatable it hurts. Everything just piles up so much it hurts to think and I have to shut my brain off. But then the pile just keeps growing and the problem becomes exponentially worse 😞
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u/GreenMirage 3d ago
I usually just keep going until i drop too. A couple of times i fall asleep and bite my tongue as i fall lose consciousness.
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u/emobananas 3d ago
this always happens to me💔 im on my commute home and i think that im going to work on my stuff then play games then do chores then i just end up doing nothing
eats me up everytime because i have so much time yet i cant do it
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4d ago
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u/adhdmeme-ModTeam 4d ago
ADHD denial or gatekeeping are not accepted here. Judging others for their symptoms, treatments, and abilities, or lack thereof on any account, is also not allowed.
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u/qualityvote2 Quality Control Beast 4d ago edited 4d ago
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