Asalaam O Alaikum, I’m in a really tough spot and could use some outside perspective.

I am a 29-year-old male, a medical doctor, and I recently got my AMC licence (finally fully qualified). I am the eldest son of 3 brothers and 3 sisters (one sister married, another engaged and getting married in a month or two). Because I’m the eldest and established, the pressure from my family to settle down is becoming unbearable.

The problem is, I have a genuine phobia of marriage. Not just the wedding, but the life after. My mind spirals with fears: What if we aren't compatible? What if I lose my independence?

But here is the biggest kicker—In our tradition, we are not allowed to meet or get to know the girl properly before marriage. Everything is based on what the families tell each other and a few brief, heavily chaperoned glances.

This terrifies me because I have seen too many "witches in human skin." I don't mean literal witches, but people who are masters at putting on a perfect act for the elders. They seem like angels to the parents, but behind closed doors, they are manipulative, toxic, or completely different. I have seen friends and relatives get trapped in miserable marriages because the woman (or man) showed their true colors only after the Nikah / wedding. How can I possibly agree to spend my life with someone based on a family meeting where she isn't even allowed to speak freely or forced to act.

And on top of that, my biggest, deepest fear is about my future generation. I faced extreme hardship, trauma, and instability growing up in Afghanistan. I am terrified of bringing children into this world only for them to face a fraction of what I endured. I worked so hard to escape that life; the thought of history repeating itself for my kids haunts me.

I feel stuck between my cultural duty as the eldest son and my internal panic.

My question to you all:

For those from similar conservative cultures, how do you vet someone without actually talking to them? How do I protect myself from making a lifelong mistake based on hearsay? And how do I explain to my parents that I am mentally not ready to be a father, when they just see me as a "successful doctor who needs to settle down"?

Afghan refugee living in iran without any documents, possible to move to another country as a refugee with family?

We’ve got a friendly weekly 6-a-side game at Frenford Clubs, Ilford every Sunday from 11am–12pm.

We’re a mixed group with people from different backgrounds and ability levels, and I thought I’d see if any Afghans in London fancy joining us.

You definitely don’t need to be an amazing footballer. It’s just a relaxed weekly kickabout and a good way to meet people.

📍 Frenford Clubs, Ilford

🕚 Sundays, 11am–12pm

⏰ Arrive around 10:45am

👟 Astro trainers only

Goalkeepers rotate. No slide tackles, aggression, shouting or arguments.

If you’re Afghan and based in London/East London and fancy joining us, comment or DM me.

https://reddit.com/link/1w2agpm/video/n2ng6p4gmgmh1/player

Salaam everyone! 👋

I'm a musician from Japan. I love learning and singing national anthems from around the world to connect with people from different cultures on Ome.tv.

Here is a quick clip of me singing the Afghan National Anthem! The reaction was so warm and wonderful, so I wanted to share it with this community.

Manana / Tashakor (Thank you) for watching!
I hope this brings a smile to your face. 🙏❤️

You can check out more of my national anthem videos here
Instagram

I swear there is a lot of us? I have a nice bunch of grey hairs growing in the middle of my hairline and it started when I was 22.

Wasn't really sure how to word this I'm an american, family served in the war. My daughter has befriended a little girl whose family immigrated from Afghanistan at her school, shes only 6 and asked some questions and made me wonder what are somethings about the afgani people the world should know? Its hard to explain as an adult to a 6 year old i arranged a FaceTime with my brother who has been truly impacted by the people he always said the average people were some of the hardest working and kindest people they ever met after years of war the every day people still treated him with kindness even though he was the invader...i wish nothing but peace for the innocents still living under Talib rule.

For context, I am Turkish and my husband is afghan. We are having our wedding ceremony soon and he doesn't know much about how traditional weddings and henna nights work. I want to try my best to implement both cultures since ive been told that they can be similar. The wedding is in October and all I have is my Afghan dress.

Can any ladies also let me know what kind of dances brides/bridesmaids do ?

To all Afghan Londoners!!!!

The SOAS Gallery in the University of London are currently holding an exhibition on ”The Embroidery Traditions of Afghanistan”.

As an embroiderer myself, I thought I‘d take the time to share this beautiful opportunity for other fellow Afghans. What makes this exhibition most special is the fact that it’s mostly a private collection, so the items you’ll find are very rare to catch a glimpse of anywhere else.

Personally, as a Pashai person myself, I was very pleased to see pristine examples of Pashai embroidery, something that I have struggled to find examples of anywhere else!

On the whole, an amazing exhibition; I wish I was able to share some of the pictures I took there but for some reason this isn’t possible here. I’ll share the address in the comments!

Hi!! NYC based Iranian-American actor and filmmaker who just directed the 1st episode of a docuseries following Yeldā Ali, an Afghan DJ and mom based in NYC, on identity, artistry, and what freedom actually means to her. She is one of the most inspiring people I have met.

We're screening Ep. 1on Sept 29 at Lovejoy's in Bushwick--wanted to invite this community in hopes of creating a space to connect :)
It’s not only a screening but also a community gathering and hoping to spread the word!

Tickets officially live now so thought I'd drop here ! I hope to meet some new folks from the MENASA community!

https://posh.vip/e/freedom-frames-episode-1-afghanistanworld-premiere-dj-party

Hey everyone,

I'm a Master’s student at the University of Bern (Switzerland) conducting a scientific research study examining how certain traits, life experiences, attitudes and behaviors are related to each other.

I would greatly appreciate if you could participate in my survey: https://ww3.unipark.de/uc/research_study_university_Bern_Switzerland/

As a token of appreciation, participants can choose to enter a prize draw to win one of five USD 100 prizes.

Thank you for participating!

I just finished the novel and it has deeply affected me on an emotional and psychological level—so much so that I had trouble sleeping the night that I read the chapter about the incident after the competition. I’ve cried many times throughout the reading and it’s made me feel heavy with sadness. Do you find the story to be an accurate portrayal of the Afghan experience? How prevalent is male sexual abuse against other males? From what I infer from the novel, it seems quite common. Forgive me for asking, but it’s a question that I became curious about.

Afghanistan’s first elected president speaks on regime change wars, conflict with Pakistan and why he’s still talking to the Taliban. Source: Bloomberg News.

i am looking for someone living in kandahar to ask them some questions about research i'm doing on archeology in the kandahar area. please reach out thanks!

I’m creating a playlist featuring folk music from every country in the world.

For each country, I’ll make a separate post and leave it open for 24/48 hours. Comment with one folk song by an artist from the country being featured.

When the time is up, I’ll select the 3 most upvoted songs that are genuinely folk music and add them to the playlist.

I’ll go through 205 countries and territories, following Wikipedia’s alphabetical list, so every country gets its own post.

NATION 1/205:

Afghanistan

Rules:

- One song per comment

- The artist must be from the country being featured

- The song must genuinely be folk/traditional music

- The 3 highest-voted qualifying songs will be selected (only comments in the linked post are going to be checked

Hello,

I would like to know more about afghan music.

I just listened to Gulfam by Aryana Sayeed and I'm in love! Do you have any other similar songs/artists to recommend? I don't know where to start lol

I'm open to both traditional and modern.

Thank you so much 🙏🏻

I'm a 17 year old girl ,

I couldn't continue my education since I was 13 cause the Taliban weren't allowed cause their religion said girls weren't allowed to study

I just need a way to get out of here and live my life I truly want to continue my education and go to college and university

Ballet and singing was my first love but I lost it when I was only 7

And then my education and teenage and childhood days will never comeback to me

So I just want to live my adult journey in freedom and find happiness

I’m not Afghan myself, but I organise a casual 6-a-side football game this Sunday, 23 August, from 11am to 12pm at Frenford Clubs in Ilford, East London, and we still have a few spaces available.

We have players from a mixture of backgrounds and it’s open to any adult. Most of us are late 20s to early 40s.

It’s mixed ability and very casual, so you don’t need to be an amazing player. Goalkeepers rotate and we keep things friendly. No slide tackles, aggression, shouting or arguments.

👟 Astro trainers only, no moulds or studs.

📍 Frenford Clubs, Ilford
🕚 Sunday, 23 August, 11am to 12pm
⏰ Arrive around 10:45am

If there are any Afghans around East London who’d be interested in playing this Sunday, feel free to comment below or send me a DM.

The combination of women being effectively banned from most forms of work and school along with the repression of all groups in opposition to the Islamic emirate has made me lose hope in the idea of Afghanistan ever being a prosperous and free society. The ban on birth control also means in the future the child mortality rate will increase dramatically and the number of women who die in childbirth will also increase dramatically. All of this is almost gaurenteed to lead to economic collapse, the collapse of public health, and trapping society in poverty. At this point I have accepted that Afghanistan is basically the somolia/haiti of Asia(no hate to those countries by any means). While I hope for the best I pretty much have 0 optimism seeing that the leadership is too stubborn to back down even an inch.

Hi, first time posting here.

I've been thinking about this question since the Taliban returned to power. Before 911 the Northern alliance were still able to resist the Taliban despite being outnumbered. However post US invasion, the militias disbanded and the top figures joined the new government. Fast forward to 2021 We all know what happened, as most of the national army lay down their weapons without a fight.

So if say the ethnic militias, such as Tajiks and Hazaras were not disbanded but kept as regional security forces, similar to the Kurds in Iraq, would this have been a better, more effective defense against taliban fighters?

Good evening everyone. :)

Well, I never know how to start a topic, so.. I hope the reason for my doing this isn't confusing. Hehe

I really enjoy learning and reading about folklore, legends, superstitions, and mythology. I also love watching movies with this theme, including suspense and horror.

Recently, an Indian horror/fantasy film came up as a recommendation for me. I watched it and I simply loved it. One of the characters is a woman with her feet backwards. In my country's folklore, we have such an entity. But the reason she has her feet facing backward is different from that of the Indian deity. And I read a little about a creature from Pashtun folklore called Pichal Peri or Shisheka.

That being said, I think reading about it and hearing directly from people who have heard these stories and have greater knowledge about it are different things. Different experiences. The second option seems much more interesting and culturally enriching to me. If anyone has heard of these creatures or others and is willing to talk about it, I would be truly grateful. ☺️