r/answers 17h ago

What’s the most annoying thing about being an adult that no one warned you about?

46 Upvotes

143 comments sorted by

u/qualityvote2 17h ago edited 9h ago

Hello u/Ok-View553! Welcome to r/answers!


For other users, does this post fit the subreddit?

If so, upvote this comment!

Otherwise, downvote this comment!

And if it does break the rules, downvote this comment and report this post!


(Vote has already ended)

60

u/Ok-View553 17h ago

btw for me

Realizing that being an adult is basically just saying “after I finish this one thing, I’ll finally relax” until you die.

6

u/KitchenLevel8962 17h ago

I feel this today more than ever!

2

u/LakeFederal6468 16h ago

Right now, my taxes.

2

u/Affectionate_Oil7630 15h ago

I think you're my spirit animal

112

u/thefreequency 17h ago

figuring out what to eat
every.
single.
day.

25

u/SH4D0WG4M3R 16h ago

And having to buy the food! Like, I have to go get it, cook it, eat it, clean the dishes, AND decide what to do tomorrow. Every day? Forever?

7

u/CentralCharacter 17h ago

Breakfast, lunch, dinner and snacks for 3 other people. I just eat the same thing everyday because by the time I’ve got to lunchtime this is already the 7th meal I’ve prepared and I don’t have any more energy to make another decision.

6

u/aseikh 17h ago

I'm only 26 but i already deeply understand why my mother got so frustrated when she asked me what i wanted to eat and i just responded "i don't know"

she probably wanted to strangle me 😂

2

u/Grogenhymer 16h ago

I bulk buy and food prep, eating the same few meals throughout the week.... Or I did... Before I had kids.

1

u/me1stgmmegmme 14h ago

That’s the best part wtf

1

u/Meatloafisdisgusting 13h ago

I like the figuring out what to eat part. I hate the having to cook it if it’s not something I can easily buy.

1

u/404BrainCells 13h ago

and then you spend 20 minutes, make the same 3 meals anyway

35

u/Upper_Fig3303 17h ago

That I’m always needing to buy something. And it’s not even things that I want. It’s like, today I need to buy toothpaste, tomorrow my vitamins run out so now I need to buy vitamins. Then when I try to knock out some birds with one stone and buy everything I need at the same time I STILL end up needing to buy something else the next day.

12

u/moonbunnychan 17h ago

Oh my god I keep being like "ok once I buy this one thing I need I can start really saving money" but keep needing things.

1

u/only-if-there-is-pie 7h ago

I felt this. And then I got a puppy. 7 months later and I'm hoping I'm finally caught up...

21

u/3batsinahousecoat 17h ago

When insurance tries to refuse to cover something I know they cover because I READ THE PLAN... I have to call them and yell at them myself. >_> (This was such a theme when I was a kid, and my mom called the state insurance commissioners office so often she used to get holiday cards from them. I WISH I was kidding.)

4

u/neilabz 17h ago

I assume you are from the US or a country with a private/ single payer system. We don’t have that here but the frustration that I and many people I know is not paying for healthcare, but straight up accessing it. I haven’t had a dental appointment in over three years because there is not an NHS (public healthcare) dentist available near me whatsoever, and I can’t afford to pay out of pocket.

We just neglect a lot of health stuff here. I’m sure the long term effects are gonna be nuts for everyone.

5

u/3batsinahousecoat 17h ago

Yeah, I'm in Western Washington. I'm pretty sure my insurance provider hates me, now, because I'll argue any rejected claim if it's supposed to be covered until I get what I need. >_>

3

u/neilabz 16h ago

I’m so sorry for the stress this is causing you. We both have unacceptable situations and accessing quality, professional healthcare should be as easy and as uncomplicated as possible, and not a financial situation. We deserve better. We have earned better.

1

u/3batsinahousecoat 8h ago

Oh definitely. I've had my share of shit providers, but I quite like my current care team... it's just insurance.

2

u/Slow-Obligation-7686 16h ago

Is there, like, a job where you do this? I would love to yell at insurance companies all day.

1

u/3batsinahousecoat 8h ago

It's kind of fun! Of course, I'm nice to them if they're nice to me. One young man I spoke to was OUTRAGED on my behalf that a prior authorisation for my migraine preventative was in limbo and got it pushed through in less than 6 hours. Him, I like.

1

u/Slow-Obligation-7686 6h ago

This seems like something that actually helps people. Would you be willing to DM me your actual job title, so I can look for it where I'm at?

u/3batsinahousecoat 22m ago

Oh I don't work in anything insurance adjacent. I just grew up with someone who made damn sure she knew what the insurance company was SUPPOSED to be doing, and when they said no to something they were supposed to approve she took them to task. As an adult, since the health issues still exist, now I have to do it myself. 🤷‍♀️

1

u/LakeFederal6468 16h ago

Order HiSmile mouthwash and toothpaste with nano hydroxyappetate.. it really does work for plaque removal and tooth sensitivity.

1

u/neilabz 15h ago

I would quite like 3 wisdom teeth extractions.

1

u/3batsinahousecoat 8h ago

Was this meant for a different comment?

15

u/Tall_Birthday_7654 17h ago edited 17h ago

The endless fucking paperwork, phone calls and emails. Just fuck off already

2

u/Inevitable_Can8020 15h ago

This is it right here!

16

u/artguydeluxe 17h ago

Acne never actually goes away.

2

u/Mom_is_watching 16h ago

I'm a woman and it finally went away after menopause! There's hope for some of us!

2

u/artguydeluxe 9h ago

How do I get this menopause you speak of?

2

u/Mom_is_watching 4h ago

Yes sorry that's why I said some of us...

2

u/shraap 7h ago

Oh god this. 57 and still get fucking zits

12

u/AutismAsylum 17h ago

the compounding trauma of poor mental health over decades of depression

2

u/The_Mammoth_Hunter 16h ago

Big hugs. I know it doesn't really help. Just... yr not alone

2

u/HereticalHyena 16h ago

It's so exhausting! And the realisation that you will always have this struggle...

23

u/AlphaDag13 17h ago

The upkeep needed on the body just to feel not terrible.

2

u/SheepherderOk9360 12h ago

Yeah for real, it's like a second job just to keep the engine running. And even then you wake up with some random ache you didn't earn. You ever find a cheat code for that or are we all just doomed to stretch forever?

1

u/rmrdrn 12h ago

Especially shaving. You have to keep doing it over and over again. Like “Oh my god I don’t want to do this anymore. I just want it to stop!”

8

u/TypicalVeterinarian7 17h ago

You can't just stop (working, cleaning, paying bills). If you don't keep it together everything will fall apart and there isn't a "grown up" to come do it for you. Unless you are rich enough to pay someone I guess.

2

u/Disastrous_Sell_4490 13h ago

This is genuinely my biggest struggle. And then the imposter syndrome of feeling like I’m not even enough of an ‘adult’ to be trusted or forced into this kind of responsibility (with work & home) and every day just feels like going thru the motions and just faking until it becomes 2nd nature.

9

u/TMJ848 17h ago

You’re never really alone but you’ll always feel lonely.

8

u/Possible-Magazine23 17h ago

Work can be stressfr

6

u/Long_Syllabub_7963 17h ago

Endless laundry.
Taxes.
Cooking everyday.
Juggling work/family schedules.
Bills.

Ugh. It never ends.

19

u/Confident_Coyote_860 17h ago

Bullys dont stop after highschool 

-5

u/Immediate-Fee-2121 17h ago

How are you an adult getting bullied?

10

u/SaneRawsome 16h ago

Never had a dick boss, abusive relationship, shitty friend, shitty family?

Just because they bullied us doesn't mean we took it. I can bully you, but I'm sure you'd retaliate, doesn't make it any less bullying.

0

u/Immediate-Fee-2121 16h ago

Maybe the whole “being large and looking like I could hurt you” thing has helped me avoid being bullied 🤷🏾‍♂️ 

2

u/SaneRawsome 13h ago

Not everyone experiences bullying. And yes there are adults who go around bullying other adults both directly and indirectly. Its not being shoved into a locker. Or a wedgie, or a swirely. Adult bullying is repackaged as harassment, power, aggressive use of authority, etc. I have been harassed by my neighbor in the past in a different state who would take shit from my yard, cut bushes he didn't like, and overall just plain bs he thought he was entitled to because he didn't approve of my landscaping or house aesthetic and was raised in an HOA.

When you're a kid you equate power with size and aggression. As an adult it's money, status and authority. A lot of people when in a power position, like to flex it, flaunt it, remind people of who the boss is... but when you start getting aggressive with someone proverbially or literally smaller than you, it's bullying. As an adult you'll get your ass kicked, cops called or fired, or nothing will happen at all, but its still bullying.

1

u/Disastrous_Sell_4490 13h ago

I used to bully the bullies, a lot of them much bigger than me. They never scared me bc my mom was tiny like me & also a scrapper- she taught me young the big ones fall harder, and usually faster bc most of them can’t actually fight, they just depend on their size to be intimidating.

0

u/Immediate-Fee-2121 13h ago

That’s how I was until my growth spurt between 8th & 9th grade lol I had to mix it up quite often

Nowadays I just don’t have anybody try me lol I’m large and I train and I just think folks don’t want these problems. And I have a great personality 😂 

3

u/Slow-Obligation-7686 16h ago

Some people don't mature out of high school. Mostly bullies.

What else would you call it, when someone at work starts talking shit about you?

-1

u/Immediate-Fee-2121 16h ago

People talking shit lol

You think someone talking shit = bullying?

2

u/RomeliaHatfield 16h ago

Tell me you’re unemployed without telling me you’re unemployed.

0

u/Immediate-Fee-2121 16h ago

…I don’t know how you came to that conclusion but sorry you get bullied at work 😂 

2

u/RomeliaHatfield 16h ago

Plenty of people experience immature childish coworkers with too much time on their hands. It’s not that complex of an idea. I don’t get bullied at work.

0

u/Immediate-Fee-2121 16h ago

Childish coworkers ≠ bullied.

1

u/Mom_is_watching 16h ago

Neighbours who used to be high school bullies

1

u/Immediate-Fee-2121 16h ago

I am shocked by the amount of people getting bullied as adults lol wow

1

u/arcspectre17 8h ago

Dude its all over reddit not sure if your a troll or your a new to the world.

Physical: Hitting, kicking, tripping, pushing, or damaging someone's personal belongings. Verbal: Name-calling, insulting, making offensive remarks, or issuing threats. Social / Relational: Spreading rumors, intentionally leaving someone out, or embarrassing them in public. Cyberbullying: Using digital platforms, text messaging, or social media to harass, threaten, or share embarrassing content about someone.

1

u/Immediate-Fee-2121 8h ago

And it’s you’re lol

1

u/arcspectre17 8h ago

Oh I leave that on purpose to weed out people like you.

2000 comments in 24 days.

1

u/Immediate-Fee-2121 8h ago

Gotta get my numbers up

Your doing great sweetie

1

u/arcspectre17 7h ago

For what? I have 57,000 karma without being a troll and its worth zero zilch Nadia!

It be different if maybe it was tied to a crypto coin!

1

u/Immediate-Fee-2121 7h ago

I don’t look at account stats lol you sound stupid

→ More replies (0)

0

u/Immediate-Fee-2121 8h ago

Again, sorry y’all get bullied as adults lol Jesus Christ

All of that stuff can be handled. I think it takes effort to get “bullied“

1

u/arcspectre17 8h ago

Who said im getting bullied??

I can understand people get bullied as adults its everywhere from the media , ploticans, courts jobs etc. Not sure why its hard for you to understand unless you are a troll?

2

u/Mom_is_watching 4h ago

I'm pretty sure he's one of those bullies himself.

u/arcspectre17 1h ago

He's a troll 2000 comments in 24 days.

1

u/Immediate-Fee-2121 8h ago

Meh. I think you have to try to get bullied. Don’t get why that makes me a troll lol that’s stupid

1

u/Immediate-Fee-2121 15h ago

I just think it’s hilarious people are adults getting bullied and mad at me asking about it 😂 

2

u/Diligent-Stranger-26 13h ago

I don’t know… you’re kind of bullying everyone.

1

u/Immediate-Fee-2121 13h ago

Y’all have bastardized the English language 😂 

0

u/Disastrous_Sell_4490 13h ago

that is not bullying 🤣 I don’t agree with their original point but cmon that’s a tad dramatic lmao

2

u/arcspectre17 8h ago

2000 comments in 24 days the guys a troll!

1

u/arcspectre17 8h ago

You are on reddit and asking how they still get bullied?

Im tempted to show you right now 24 day old account lol!

4

u/neilabz 17h ago

With age you get more stubborn and less flexible to tolerate things you don’t like or want to do. Your friends will feel the exact same way.

I feel like I butt heads and have grumpy experiences with my friends like never before. The only grace is I understand it and don’t take it personally.

5

u/Rowmyownboat 17h ago

The admin. I am retired, and to get from 18 to now, well it's a lot of paperwork. And Pensions? I have company pensions from my employment and I worked overseas and each new place - new pension. You would not believe the hoops and mountains of paperwork I had to get through. Also, being a dual national, I have to file taxes in two countries.

6

u/hawkwings 17h ago

Housework

3

u/CrabbyOlLyberrian 16h ago

Right? Cleaning all the damn time. Vacuuming, dusting, sweeping, mopping, scrubbing toilets, washing dishes, pots and pans. Laundry. Wiping off counters. Dumping the trash! *sigh I need to lie down lol

4

u/Southern-Garnish 17h ago

Dealing with adults who have refused to grow up

0

u/Unlikely_Trifle_4628 16h ago

Sorry, not sorry

5

u/_waffl 16h ago

You have to work EVERY DAY

back in school we had summer break to look forward to. You don't get one of those with a job

1

u/AdministrativeCan709 13h ago

I scrolled down way too far for this! And all day as well, it’s not like you get to work half a day, it’s all fucking day.

3

u/Technical_Air6660 17h ago

It just never stops. When you are a kid, a vacation is a vacation. When you are an adult, you probably still need to run 1000 errands and check work email even if you are taking a week off.

3

u/Significant-Theme253 17h ago

I am responsible for myself AND everyone else...

3

u/SnooPoems5888 16h ago

All of it???

2

u/808lani808 17h ago

Paperwork makes the world go round.

You want a refund of taxes you overpaid? Submit paperwork.

You want to buy a house? Submit paperwork.

You want to open an account? Submit paperwork.

You disagree with your insurance? Submit paperwork.

It’s endless

2

u/moonbunnychan 17h ago

How difficult it is to maintain friendships.

2

u/xxserenityxx1 10h ago

Or make new ones

2

u/zackit 16h ago

There's always a new problem to solve, it never ends

There isn't a day without something needing attention

2

u/Unlikely_Trifle_4628 16h ago

My uncle is no longer interested in me

2

u/Cleveland_Guardians 16h ago

The unending feeling that you set your adult life up incorrectly and that there's no hope of fixing it.

1

u/Longjumping-Amount84 17h ago

Social interactions. The other person on the other side of the counter will likely not remember you or whatever it is you’re feeling embarrassed about. It only lives in your mind. Get over it.

1

u/[deleted] 17h ago

[removed] — view removed comment

1

u/AutoModerator 17h ago

Sorry /u/IsleptIdreamt, it appears you have broken rule 9: "Accounts with less than -10 comment karma are not allowed to post here. Please improve your karma to participate."

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

1

u/Thrasher0queen 17h ago

Cooking 3 meals. Every. Single. Day.

1

u/R0SSFR0MFRIENDS 16h ago

The expectation that because you’re older than 30 that you’ve “got it all figured out” and should always “take the high road” when others are shitty to you.

1

u/ClimateVast2894 16h ago

https://giphy.com/gifs/249LrNgHso7RgosWP4
Everything and everyone that I can’t stand 😑

1

u/PeaCompetitive8947 16h ago

How much money is consumed on non-tangibles-insurances, taxes, registrations, fees etc.

1

u/Friendly_Ratio_3383 16h ago

The need for work for love for security. For a good life

1

u/TreasureHunter226 16h ago

That life consists of working all the time just so you can afford to pay bills every month to a handful of 4-5 giant corporations.

1

u/MTSilverDude 16h ago

How fast time goes. It went so slow as a kid, then boom your 48🤷🏻‍♂️

1

u/Glad_Release5410 16h ago

Working 18 hour days.

get up at 4 am onsite by 6 go 12 hours straight Finish up around 7 gotta eat, shit, shower, shave tomorrow, same thin

1

u/Educational_Tie_1060 16h ago

That the people my age when I was a young teen also didn’t have a fucking clue what the hell they were they doing.

1

u/lostkitty0 16h ago

People are constantly throwing expectations at you

1

u/MetalFlute 16h ago

Existing

1

u/DancingGirl_J 15h ago

When you get sick you have to take care of yourself.

Poor mental health will take out your physical health at some point.

1

u/Far_Bumblebee_9300 15h ago

It's really fucking hard to make friends

1

u/Individual-Elk-4466 15h ago

So many things to take care of all the time 😩

1

u/ImAPonderer2 15h ago

Our civilization adds paperwork and requirements until people rebel. So life is one requirement after another, one inefficient call after another, one tax bill required to be returned by a specific day after another, one kid’s sign-up after another. There are numerous obvious ways to make some of this easier, but “no one is in charge” of that. Example: health care: we really have to sign up and claim to read hundreds of pages of contractual information every single year?! Are we stupid.

Yes we are stupid

1

u/Acceptable-Gur-4513 14h ago

I always have 5 things to do after this

1

u/wild_session 13h ago

Once you get older the aches and pains actually do start to occur and sometimes it is just what it is, aches and pains. I have done so many tests about things I was unsure about and apparently there is nothing wrong with me, I'm just old. This is among the many things I wish I was warned about

1

u/Disastrous_Sell_4490 13h ago

Having to just go to work, forever. No end in sight, no end date, just work until I die. I hate working so much. Obviously the rent and bills that cost way more than I can afford are just as bad, too. Although I grew up in poverty, so I knew about all this stuff when I was young. But having to actually live it and be the one responsible for everything feels unbearable some days. I have agoraphobia& adhd and it feels physically and mentally impossible most days going to work.

1

u/apoirier594 13h ago

Dealing with other dumb adults who can’t manage themselves nor emotions

1

u/Fluid_Set_8176 13h ago

People don’t get any smarter after 18

1

u/OvenAdministrative83 11h ago

For me it's the way you're always waiting for that mythical 'free time' that just never shows up, like you're chasing a ghost. And the food thing is real too but honestly after a while you just eat standing over the sink and call it self care. Life's just a never ending list of crap you gotta do and the moment you finish one thing three more pop up.

1

u/Worldly_Ingenuity387 11h ago

That you have to do it everyday!

1

u/Orikoru 10h ago

The way your money just evaporates into more debt at a constant rate.

1

u/Less-Friendship-1324 10h ago

constant fatigue

paying bills

grocery shopping

existence

taxes

1

u/MrSmokii 10h ago

deciding what to eat every day

1

u/davidlondon 9h ago

You will get to an age where you go to sleep with smooth ears and wake up 8 hours later with a 1” hair sticking out of your ear. Not the ear hole. No, that would almost make sense. I mean like the ear itself. 1 inch. 8 hours. It’s coming, folks.

1

u/ResidentWarning4383 9h ago

Dealing with idiots every day because they never grew out of it.

1

u/ContributionLatter32 9h ago

As an American, one answer is easily the US tax system. This one got especially convoluted when I moved overseas. Its just obnoxious and bloated. 

1

u/Mammoth-Show-7587 8h ago

Stock market capitalism

1

u/probablygoblins 6h ago

How people reward being a couple but if you’re single everything is twice as hard and there is no gift registry.

1

u/W1ULH 5h ago

when I know I have to do the thing.

but I dont want to do the thing.

and there's no one to make me :(

1

u/feelingblueandbehind 5h ago

Dishes and laundry are nonstop.

1

u/PopularSalad2450 4h ago

Going to work and having to socialize every day even if you are tired

1

u/Curious-Wave-4377 4h ago

Decisions in general. Sometimes I just want someone to stick me in a giant stroller and wheel me around where I need to go and feed me whatever they want so I don't have to decide and cook it. Lay out an outfit, tell me what's next. I just get sick of every decision about every little thing.

1

u/Ecstatic-Leading8730 3h ago

People expecting you to be grown up by a certain age, just because I’m an adult doesn’t mean I don’t still feel young and want to let live every so often