I've been really into doing random art studies and this week I decided to try and do some color theory focused still life drawings of my partner.

I decided to try and use a technique I learned in college, however these copics are ALSO from college and that was almost a decade ago. So, despite having a large assortment of markers, I was fighting for my life to find colors that worked together and didn't look like it would give up on me halfway through.

Once I finally picked a color pallette after fighting for my life for an hour, I realized I just made such a funny mistake.

Anyways, have this fun lighthearted post! Happy Aplatonic Pride, I was hibernating in June so it doesn't count as late 😌

CW: This is more so a rant so I might not make much sense

I've been not feeling well for a while, maybe since the summer started maybe long before that. A whole lot happened and I have been hurt a lot. I won't go in details but I have been in great stress lately. I have a dementia patient to look after, I have buried a close family member a week ago, I have a sibling with learning disability to help with math, a future to be prepared and so on. And yesterday I was physically assaulted by some people close to me. So one could say I am not in a good headspace. I have someone I consider a friend, we have been friends for 3 years but lately I was seeing cracks in our relationship. And today I wrongfully snapped at them out of impulse when they were trying to tease me. It was my fault, I admit. I did brought up the topic, they talked about how they were offended, I ended the conversation with this apology:

"I am sorry" "I will do better" "I am not okay, and I know I came across mean. That's why I wanted to apologize"

But they haven't replied yet. The problem is that, I can see this being end of our relationship, and although it's been such a long time I don't feel sad, I don't feel worried. This person knows I have a dementia patient at home, this person knows I lost a close family member, I am saying on the text that I am not okay yet you are fixated on the fact that I yelled? I am not someone to yell and they know that. I was expecting a "What happened?" after seeing me in such out of character way. Yet although I was disappointed I don't feel sorrow.

I never get attached to people the way I want to, it's never as strong as how people are usually. I thought it would be different since this is the longest friendship I had but...I feel a strange glee in my heart. I felt similarly when I broke up with the longest romantic relationship I had (I am aroace). Although if someone asked me if I like that person or the time I spend with them would answer yes.

Frankly maybe this lack of attraction is why I also don't feel bad about yelling at them. I do know what I did was wrong, I can rationalize my actions but but don't feel the guilt most would feel.

There are several reasons why I can’t imagine myself in a romantic relationship and don’t remotely plan on trying for one, but I was still on the fence about whether I experienced any attraction, whether it was just in a fictional context or even a queerplatonic one.

I’ve never had a useful enough idea of what romance even is to wholeheartedly assert I don’t feel it, I’m kind of beginning to wonder if all the times I thought I felt romance actually involved sonder instead. I allowed myself to become obsessive with the idea that another person in particular had their own thoughts and feelings and experiences, despite logically having always known this was this case for all people, and I imagined their constant presence with me for purposes of conversation and understanding, as one would do with an imaginary friend.

I’ve always found the idea of an extremely close best friend or a QPR to be aspirational and intriguing, like those characters in movies and TV shows that get hinted at romantically but never confirm anything, who spend a lot of time in the same rooms together and whose character developments are highly influential to one another. However, every time I’ve gotten close to spending a significant amount of time regularly with one person, I’ve become frustrated with my inability to continue to be just as interesting as I was at first, and I also find that my own interest in any activities we do depends entirely on the activity itself. The joy of companionship with an actual person who can judge and critique never came close to the facade of their imaginary counterpart who could only question, regardless of whether the judgments could be accurately predicted or not. In many cases before the lack of intellectual stimulation stunted me, I could predict the judgments and input of others so accurately that I might as well have been conversing with robots. If I judged as superficially as most people do, I’d probably call them NPCs or spend my time worried about not seeming like one myself.

I try to work toward a world where I’m more accepted, but what would that actually look like? What would actually change for me in my personal life? Would I really spend more time with friends, acting like they understand me so much better now because everyone in the world can only ever use the right words to refer to me? My eyes have already been opened. Even if it were possible for people to truly understand each other, I wouldn’t even know where to begin. I can continue a conversation in the hopes that my identity never becomes part of it, and I can pretend to connect with people as personally as someone with the privilege of being vulnerable, but the feelings I expect to feel aren’t always there unless those feelings are the relief that I haven’t completely failed. Failure to hold up my end or portray myself as competent could lead to statements about me as a person, while success only continues the process until it ends.

I know it all sounds very dower, but the truth is that I don’t feel that bad about it. I actually wished to be numb years ago, and I remember why I wished for that, why it isn’t sustainable to pursue the oxytocin addiction of hypersociality especially when I have limited control over when I get to meet others and they constantly remind me of how little they understand anyway. It was a chemical addiction that hurt my mood more than lifting it, the highs removing my inhibitions and ruining me, the lows preventing my productivity and ruining me. The only thing that makes me think this numbness might not be my true state is at the height of my social addiction when I went to a therapist for anger management — I never wound up learning to manage my anger, but my mood was drastically improved enough just by talking to this random old psychologist for an hour every week, so perhaps I do get something out of social interaction, or perhaps all I need is just to talk to strangers who will never find me again.

Maybe this is how it’s supposed to be; maybe I’m supposed to glorify the idea of best friendship in my mind but never actually live it out. I’ve spent such little time around other people that I don’t even know what a normal life is like, let alone a normal friendship. Maybe they really are just entanglements set up by prior commitments and circumstance, and maybe a person is someone’s friend just the way that anyone else is anyone else’s friend, just like how a person can be someone’s lover just the way that anyone else can be anyone else’s lover. I wish just for the sake of intrigue that it wouldn’t be true, but even if it isn’t, it might be for someone like me.

So I have friends, some friends I talk to a lot, others I dont really talk to often.

But even with that, before I found out I was apl I would miss those friends, but it felt unnatural the way I missed them, I wouldn't say it was forced but it just felt, unnatural.

Now I realised I'm aplatonic I dont miss these friends, I don't think about them much unless I'm actively interacting with them which I find so strange about myself. It's like all my "missing them" feelings only catch up with me once I interact with them.

The only person I don't really feel this with is my partner, sometimes I'll miss them sometimes I wont when we're apart- but when we're together I have all that feeling of missing them catch up again. It's probably because im alloromantic and I also feel fully platonic to my partner but it's still interesting to me.

Does anyone else feel like this? Is there a reason for it? Maybe it's due to my autism and other (suspected) mental stuff, but I'd like to hear from others!

I'm in this situation right now and I'd love to know other people's experiences! Especially when the "only exception" concept is even more amplified for us knowing we never had that feeling for most people :))

It's 30 years since I had a partner and do kind of miss hugs and such. The last hug I had was with my mother and that was nearly 20 years ago.

Problem is, I don't want intimacy for 2 massive reasons.

1/ when I did have a girlfriend I always felt contaminated by touch and everything involved in that.

2/ I absolutely hate my body and know that I'd only be imposing my horrid flesh upon anyone I was close to.

Does anyone else feel this way?

I found out not too long ago that I'm aplatonic, well more so apl-spec, I have friends and I like meeting and talking to people sometimes but generally my wants for friendship or talking to people fluctuate. Finding this out also explains so much in my life, I've always known im asexual but I would constantly question if I was aro-spec or not and not understanding the difference of platonic and romantic attraction (having lines blurred, constantly getting "crushes" on newly made acquantinces + friends, etc) definitely didn't help, but alas it appears im just aplace and 'off'alloromantic. (being alloromantic but experiencing it an odd or different way)

I also talked to my partner about this and they feel the same, so it feels great not only to discover myself but help someone i love in finding out that theyre also aplatonic :D
Thats all, thank you for reading lol

Got this text from my “best friend” since we were toddlers (we’re 20M): Hey I originally wasn’t ever going to ask this but I thought I might as well. Do you actually like hanging out and doing stuff with us? None of us are mad or anything, you just never initiate anything (for lack of a better term). I can’t even remember the last time you wrote me first, half the time you don’t answer and it feels like you don’t want to be there the few times you do actually come out and do stuff with us. If you’re not doing ok, you can talk to me. I mean, you’re one of the people I’ve known the longest. Idk just thought I’d ask.

Lol I’m screwed. I procrastinated on opening the text for 12 hours or so. How am I supposed to explain that I haven’t cared about him at any point, that he’s been more of a barnacle stuck to my side rather than anything I consider a “friend”(not sure what that word means lol)? I can’t. I was worried I’d get a text like this cause he’s right and I’ve been distant for a long while now. Instead of taking the hint and leaving me alone, he confronts me. Oi vey. I’m a suspecting autistic person and probably a few aro things too, I think aplatonic fits and afamilial does too, just lack of interest in anyone really, total apathy and disinterest. It’s not personal, but that’s the problem. I don’t connect with people, I’ve never had a deep relationship in my life, never trusted people like that. I can’t, I endlessly try to keep my peace and keep things to myself but these assholes never quit, never stop pestering me

So I guess I’m asking for advice before I respond and say something dumb. I’m not interested in having a relationship with him of any kind, I only entertain him out of obligation just like every social interaction, I am provably depressed and burnout but I’ve never wanted a friendship at any point and he’s just been doing the heavy lifting of the friendship, birthday gifts, making plans, friend shit. I don’t think this is a new development is my point, and I don’t like the “is something wrong with you” angle that is being taken here. Fuck I hate this so much. why did he text me? Keep it to yourself asshole, jeezus Christ.

“Us” is referring to him, another guy Joel(who is way too touchy and flirty and I am sick of him, not friends with him really ), and Gavin(who is actually a decent guy who respects boundaries and consent but I’m still not really friends with him). I don’t text first or make plans, I deleted instagram a while ago and didn’t tell them so idk what’s going on in my DMs, I’m dealing with the fallout of a different friend group crisis that I started by not going to my “friend’s” graduation party and going away party cause he’s going upstate or whatever. So I got angry DM’s that I’m ignoring and probably future complications to come and now this. I’m already burnout lol. Sorry for the rant but I fuck with this subreddit and I’m wondering if you guys can relate to any of this or if I’m as alone as I think I am

<! CW: Discussions of friendship fatigue and feelings of being used, !>

Hey everyone (I hope I formatted this right?)

Please excuse me because I don't use reddit often (I made this account ages ago and only recently even remembered to look at it), but I have to get something off my chest to the only people I can imagine that might understand.

Figuring out I am Aplatonic has been an overall great experience. It put so much into perspective and really made me happy. My entire life I've been someone who didn't want friendships but felt compelled to have them, and felt bad when I didn't because I'm "supposed to". When I was a kid I was perfectly happy to be friendly to people when I meet them but just as happy to be left alone, and I missed that time in my life so much that realizing I don't need to try and perform platonic desire anymore has made me immensely happy. I only felt "lonely" because society told me I was supposed to, and realizing what that feeling actually was helped immensely with my mental health. Genuinely, for a while I had such a boon and general joy despite me going through some harsh times lately.

That being said, I can't say that this realization hasn't also come with extreme friendship fatigue.

I'm a social enough person- I value people as a whole and try to be kind as a general rule. I share the earth with other people and I believe we have some obligation to take care of one another, but what nobody has entitlement to is the intimacy of Friendship.

So, I've been a loyal friend my whole life. I've baked for people just as an excuse to go over to their house and check on them, I've given precious time to people just to make them smile, I've even given a LOT of money despite barely having any myself to one friend in particular because I thought that was the right thing to do to "help" them.

That's the "friend" I'm now feeling so, so stressed about.

I've known this person for at least a decade. We've been together so long but for so much of that time I've felt anger and sadness toward a person. I used to be a providing friend that gave them time and money and resources when I had it. They still come to my house and enjoy what I have when they're here. But lately, they've developed strange behaviors around money where they will want to "buy me something" only to sheepishly ask if I'll pay for it afterward or put it back. They've also for many, many years sworn that they "love" me and they feel a lot of connection to me only to turn around and not speak to me at all up and until they want me for emotional comfort. (Every time they have some excuse- I don't want to be alone with my thoughts, everyone else is busy so I figured I'd talk to you, I don't have anyone else to take to this movie etc etc). They don't even realize how much I feel used that it was never a "just because I thought of you", or "because you're my friend". This person even wanted to declare us as QPP's out of nowhere then proceeded to tell me the outing we were on was practice for dates with their actual boyfriend.

Okay. That's just the tip of the ice burg but we'd be here all day if I didn't stop myself.

I hate this. As I've grown older and we grew apart I realized so much of my early connection with them was entirely because we were both in the same fandoms, and yet somehow this "friendship" has limped forward on shaky legs year after year because of my own "attachment". I've never had a friendship end because I wanted it to, and have in fact taken people back after really bad times because I believe that loyalty is a virtue and wanted to embody that in my life. My own morals have kept me rooted in this awful, horrible thing that has only made me more and more resentful overtime.

This person has invited me to spend the night at their house, and I'm actually dreading it. I'm sitting here trying to convince myself it might be fun meanwhile my stomach is in knots and I feel like I'm going to be sick or angry or both at the same time. I don't want to go, I never want to see them again.

I'm not sure there is really any fix to this. Again, I'm still Aplatonic and I don't even want that kind of closeness to anyone, but now down to my very bones I'm so "used" to this person that I feel as if I'll be severing an arm if I break them off. They also as of late haven't done anything but neglecting my feelings and overall not making time for me (of which they always have an excuse that they're busy, meanwhile I know for a fact they're online in their hundreds of circles talking to everyone else meanwhile they can't even spare me a single message). I'm so, so tired. I wish they would finally decide they don't like me and just fade from my life.

Thank you for reading this, I hope you all have a much better day than I'm having.

Hi, not sure, if this is an aplatonic / apl spec experience, but maybe you can help me understand it better. I'm in a new professional environment right now and noticed that colleagues and supervisors keep touching me. Mostly at the end of an exchange, they finish with touching my arm or back with their hand or finger without any context to the said thing.

Since this happens so frequently, I wondered about it. Is it a way to show sympathy or is it some kind of power code I'm not aware of?

It would never cross my mind to touch someone out of the blue which is why it is difficult to interpret the intention.

I'm not completely averse to touch (I accept hugs as a greeting ritual with people close to me) but I'm very aware of physical touch when it happens. Better understanding this would help me interpret the dynamics at play here. What do you think?

This is a tiny bit long lol. But I want to vent and I wonder if anybody has ever felt the way I do.

I have always had close friendships. Very, very close. To the point of codependency. Even in my adult life. I'm autistic and as a kid, I would generally have one friend at a time, who I was very jealous and possessive over. If a new kid tried to join us, depending on the situation (school was where I had this problem. Neighborhood kids I played with but weren't really "friends" with, I didn't care) I would try to sabotage it or run him down to my other friend. This sort of thing went on until middle school until I was able to handle letting a third person join. This would often lead to serious drama and jealous behavior. It was incredibly unhealthy. Once I hit high school and I left my old friends who in all honesty, were just as toxic as I was, I stopped being like this and I relished being in healthy friend groups of 3-4 people, which then lead me into being with even bigger groups and making many friends.

Even today, I can make a friend, like him a lot and then regret it because now he expects something of me. Take my neighbor who's my age. Great dude. Love talking to him for 20 minutes at a time if we're both outside smoking a cigarette. Once we exchanged phone numbers and he started texting me asking to hang out I was like "Dammit." which made me feel bad. He's a great dude and I like talking to him. I just don't want him to expect me to be consistent. It's like I'm fighting between two personalities. One really cares about people and their lives and hates hearing that anybody is going through hardship, and the other is totally callous and wants to live his life without people expecting anything of me socially or emotionally (not saying that being aplatonic is callous, I'm saying I can be)

As an adult, I have been codependent on multiple friends. One of them, for 4 years, would already be at my apartment when I got off work. It would absolutely exhaust me. I helped him with his long term toxic relationship from beginning to end, his heart issues which were very scary and experienced a friend committing suicide which he in particular was very close to. He would figuratively (and literally sometimes) fall into my arms anytime there was a crisis. I have absolutely no boundaries and especially didn't back then, and it would completely dictate the way my life was going.

I don't know what it is about me, but I have had multiple male, straight neurotypical people absolutely try to enmesh themselves with me over the years as if I were their partner. Like, these are guys who are gym bros and far more traditionally masculine than I am. It got to where I actually had to shake them off me like they were a monkey on my back. People who were boring as hell, materialistic, shallow with absolutely NOTHING in common with me would just latch onto me and suck my energy dry for 2-3 years, trying to guilt me to do EVERYTHING with them and then acting shitty when I finally put a boundary up. Like, getting angry because I don't feel like drinking when I agreed to go out a week before. Or expecting me to show up to an event outside of town that he told me about 3 months before, getting mad that I already had plans that day. It got to the point where I had to say "Dude, I am NOT your girlfriend." Like, these are the same guys who would think I was a freak or make fun of me in middle school, now being completely codependent on me for whatever reason. They liked that I processed the world different than them, being autistic and high functioning, but they added literally nothing to my life other than obnoxious obligations and a painfully shallow perspective on life. I am so, SO careful with who I let in my life now because this world is full of energy vampires. And that's the thing. They don't mean any harm so I feel bad saying this. They struggle making connections and I get it. High school is long past and they're lonely because they have little personality or depth. I am a very empathetic person that will offer a connection if somebody asks for it (not talking myself up, this is genuinely makes people latch onto me) and what's worse, sometimes I connect with people personally while I'm masking. I have nothing in common with them so for some reason I talk on a personal level because well, anybody can talk like that if they're open enough. Then we "connect" WAY more than I want us to. I didn't want to share myself. I just didn't know how to talk to you and now I've overshared, thus making you overshare and get attached to me in some way when really, I was just reaching for an easy defense mechanism to get me through this until I can leave.

These days, especially the past few years going through opioid addiction and SEVERE burnout, I just have no capacity for friendship anymore. I haven't seen my best friend of 17 years since April. I haven't seen any of my close high school friends since I went through my breakup, which was short lived but very traumatic and ended in an emotionally violent way. When I met her, I realized that I value that sort of connection FAR more than a platonic one. Which, as much as I have WANTED to be left alone following the grief of that ending, I can't help but notice that all that energy I gave to my friend, basically being a mediator in his LT relationship, bordering on making decisions for him, was absolutely not given back to me when I could've needed it. He cared for a week or so and then moved on doing stuff with the rest of the group. Now, since I don't want that attention I shouldn't care. But it's another thing that adds to my sentiment of "Why do I even want all these friendships?" Like, if my years of energy and effort of making my friends' lives better can't even be followed up with a simple message checking up on me at all within these 3 months (especially knowing I had just gone through severe depression and suicidal ideation after my detox) then I literally just do not care about keeping these bonds alive.

I don't dislike them and I don't want to cut them out of my life, but I simply don't give a shit. I don't miss them in any capacity. If anything, all I do is feel guilty. We always said we would be best friends until we died. And because we've been friends for over 15 years, I feel like I HAVE to keep it alive. I genuinely miss our old mall more than I ever miss any of them. I miss those old days and the times we spent together in the past more than anything. I'm very sentimental... but I only miss them in very specific moods. But after all this, them knowing how badly I've struggled this past year... they just don't give a shit and that's totally fine. They love having me around and they're always really happy when I show my face again. I genuinely do love these guys like family. I've known them too long not to. But I don't miss them. And they're so distracted with each other (it's a big group) and their hobbies that it just makes sense that I'm not a concern and it just makes it so much easier to detach.

I work with 3 of my best friends and my cousin who's more like my brother. This is all I have capacity for. I cannot escape these guys. But I also love having them in my life. 2 of them are moving to Detroit within the year, and I can actually say I WILL miss them. They're the very few people that I can say, this will leave a void. But we're all neurodivergent and just get each other. However, I know I'll get over it. Because I just can't miss people for too long (romance is different) I have very close internet friends 3 states away and have been friends for 15 years. I have all but dropped out of their orbit for 4 months. Now, alot of this has to do with my complete withdrawal after my breakup. But this has been in the works for some time now. After the breakup I was completely lost and relapsed back into addiction (Yeah, I am PISSED at myself and am back to draining my bank account and am once again stressed about money) and sought comfort on reddit with strangers, because I can make tiny connections in the comments with people also dealing with trauma or heartbreak, make them feel a little better and then completely withdraw.

I connected with a certain girl though from the UK and she is the most beautiful soul I've ever met. Within days, our dynamic was strange. It wasn't platonic, but it wasn't romantic. We tried not crossing too many boundaries but we each had a very deep, dark void we were trying to fill. Not that we were using each other, but we completely soothed our nervous systems which had been screaming for months at this point. Usually, I can't stand doing back and forths with people I meet on here. I'm not looking for deep connections and I'm DEFINITELY not looking for a person I feel obligated to keep up with. She is different though. We talk for 6 hours at a time. Sometimes 8. Sometimes all throughout the day, it will accumulate to 10 hours. Because of the ambiguity of this relationship between us, I completely attached myself to her and so did she. It started off with her helping me send once last message of closure to my ex, but then things got very complicated, mostly due to her fear my ex will want to try again (I guarantee she won't) which will end our friendship because she was possessive. Not only that, but we would have to change the dynamic of our friendship and completely dial it back, or it would be emotionally cheating. We spoke very intimately but not QUITE romantically, but it was damn close. Random stuff like her complimenting my appearance... then it quickly turned into "I wish I could hold you in my arms right now." and I still have no clue how it got that way so fast. Once I came home to a message saying "I really missed you today" (which I absolutely loved and missed coming home to messages like this) the lines got blurred and lead to arguments and constantly questioning our boundaries and what the outcome of this was.

We were both so confused as to how this happened. I absolutely hate making new friends. I do not want people I have to keep up with. The idea of multiple people constantly being in my inbox just drives me insane. But, I looked at that aplatonic bingo card somebody posted, and the desire to have a non-romantic, non-platonic relationship seems to be a part of this. Because this isn't just a friendship. We actually decided to take a week break from talking because we both became so codependent and after a fight we had where we didn't talk for 20 hours, we both got genuine separation anxiety where her chest was hurting, and my head was aching. Even now, it's been less than 24 hours since we talked (I caved and told her that she was missed just in case she was feeling sad... and because I miss her) and this is still hard. It's so strange like, this year has made it abundantly clear that I have codependency and attachment issues, but it's reserved for literally one person. When I met my ex, only one other person had ever seen the side of me that I gave her, that being completely vulnerable and showing that soft side that I never, ever want anybody to see. Now I've done that with my friend and it feels safe. But this is absolutely not platonic. This feels so deep even if we haven't known each other long, we both agree that there are deep psychological reasons that we were both drawn to each other this way. We want to take the attachment test and figure out the root at how in the hell we ended up emotionally throwing ourselves at each other. Especially since I'm a dismissive avoidant when it comes to platonic relationships.

Sorry for the long rant. Thank you to anybody that read this.

Apologies if anyone has been unable to find stuff that they have made over the last *waves arms around* forever... I didn't realise Reddit has been auto removing some comments, sometimes marking them as spam when they clearly are not.

I really need to look more into moderating tools, this is the only sub I've ever modded and I have been a bit lazy in that regard.

Happy poly lodges, I'll try and do a better job!

I just got out of 3 year slightly homoerotic friendship (canon event ik).

And im rethinking every female friendship I’ve had, where I just wanted it to be us, all or nothing in a way. They weren’t as intense as my friendship that ended relatively recently though.

I also think it’s necessary for me to ask this question because it’s very normalized to be more “intimate” in even more platonic relationships, I just don’t want to mistake someone as flirting with me tbh.

(This sub was recommended to me)

So I've tried recently to make this version of Lithplatonic in front of Google's research, this flag include lithromantic and platonic relationship flags as the term is a mix of both. I've been posting it on lots of websites but if someone could help ? The origin flag was in fact not much colorful and I've added more visible meanings. Thx for your help!

okay so like i love making friends and when i see people sometimes im like oh my god we should be friends!!!
now you may be thinking huhh? then are you really aplatonic??? but like my relationship with making friendships is weird.
none of my friends bring me the joy i truly want and i usually get into many friendships just so i could not get bored. i talk to people so i'm not bored. i think making friends is the easiest way to talk to others about our interests so i don't get bored.
whenever i see people with common interests i remember my chronic boredom and go maybe they have interesting stuff to say! yet i never have the desire to get to know anyone unless i think they're interesting. except that feeling is the same way i look at interesting media (games, shows, movies, books, etc.) and go "i want to learn more about it it looks so interesting omg" and eventually it burns off just as quickly. did i mention i'm neurodivergent. yeah i think being nd does contribute a lot to it.
i dont truly feel connected with any of my friends and it just feels like its gonna stay that way cause all i care about is to find something interesting everyday. does anyone feel the same? idk if its just me. and i wonder if i can call myself aplatonic or not. just wondering!

Not necessarily trauma, just lived experiences. For me I've tried to make friends but then they either seem uninterested, I find them uninteresting, or I'm scared to reciprocate for some reason.

moved around this time last year, never made friends (other than some online pals i am very grateful to know), stopped talking to my old friends. thought i was just a loser, realizing im probably aplatonic. cool 👍🐌🌱

I am an event host & very public facing figure living authentically, so a lot of people want to be my friend. Im slowly starting to come to terms with the fact that I dont want that and Im mostly doing it for the benefit of others. How does one set boundaries or come out as aplatonic in a very platonically friendly setting? Like I am happy to be friendly to people for my job, I just have no desire to do so outside of work; but I dont want to lose their business because I dont want to be their friend. Any ideas for setting gentle expectations of little communication outside of specific social settings?

I just found this subreddit and I was wondering if this sounds like anything any of you experience.

I love making new friends and hanging out with them the day that I meet them, but once I’m done hanging out with them for the first time I really don’t feel any desire to hang out with them again. I only have one close friend and feel this way about pretty much everyone else.

What do you all think?