Excuse the bad quality—if I was better artist I would’ve animated this but I don’t really animate lol (although my brain came up with a cool idea on how I’d animate it.. if I could)

Ignore the bit in the beginning glitching… there went a lot of CapCut editing behind this and it was really frustratingly hard so take what you get🙂‍↕️

Edit: I might finish it later, since I do have an idea for the rest of the song/lyrics and what to draw

First time finding and trying to post on this sub. Let me know if I messed anything up.

Finally found a way to visualize this feeling I get when I'm trying to physically restrain my thoughts and my body just to relax. I catch myself wishing I could lay down peacefully and be. But, I always have to Do something, act, reply, or try a reaction.

A lot of who I am is because of the bounciness. But at times, I just wish for peace

Software/App: Wigglypaint

Ink drawing from sketchbook

©️2026 Randall Kaplan

Losing it

Hey guys - having a bit of a time with my cptsd lately. The body certainly knows when events happen and like to remind you yearly. Thanks for listening.

I have learnt that I’m best kept away from drinking with friends. Every time I drink with friends I blackout and they have to take care of me and make sure I get home. It sucks to them and I just kill the mood. I thought I could handle it but I clearly can’t.

I think I might be an alcoholic but still refuse to admit it because I feel like I’m too young for it. I’m too young to even buy alcohol in my country (legal age is 20).

The circles are the memories I have from said night and the rest isn’t even a blur. It’s pure blackout.

According to my parents (they also took care of me) they woke up at 4am to me outside their house (my friend rung the doorbell) and then took care of me, I puked on myself, on the bed, and apparently at 8am (when I “woke” up) I puked some more. Guess what? I don’t remember a single thing of that.

So like the picture conveys; there are main 4 things I remember and everything is pure blackout.

Then I woke up at 12pm and the first thing I think of is: “ah I’m home. Wait. How the fuck did I get home?”

And then I call my friend and apologise profusely. I tell her: “I know you won’t take this well but it won’t happen again” and she says: “you’ve said that before.” And I tell her that I know. But it still made me feel so ashamed of myself.

She’s kept it real with me, and I respect her for it instead of dancing around the subject. She tells me: “isn’t it best to just skip it entirely? [meeting up and drinking] bc you don’t feel good afterwards, do you?” And I tell her no I don’t. So she’s right.

But that just means I’ll drink in secret a lot more. Which I hate. I hate it. I hate that I can’t stop myself even though I’m aware that I’m 1. Losing a lot of money and 2. Damaging myself.

I’m drunk making this on a fucking Monday, that’s proof within itself. But if anyone’s too concerned; I do have a therapy appointment on Tuesday and plan on bringing this up.. maybe. Idk. I’ve never said out loud that I’m an alcoholic and I’m scared to admit it. I’m not. I’m still in denial because I don’t want to be one.

But I’ll get help eventually… someday (I do have a therapy appointment on Wednesday though)

"It's just that your wings are so much more beautiful than mine."

Swallowtail butterfly x Saturnia moth, as my gf and I. She is superrrrr skinniiii with nice white totally smooth skin while Im this nasty fat brownish female with terrible bumpy ugly scarred hairy skin

my body dysmorphia makes the relationship marred by my intense jealousy..

redrawn from https://www.instagram.com/p/DUWyskMiooD/ by the phenomenal artist soot.700 , "silly goofy doomed yuri" from feb 4 2026

The reason I used gold/yellow for the scars is bc a hot pink wasn’t looking too visible against a red background lol, so if anyone has interpretations (or if you can relate to it) for the first one I’d be glad to hear it

I've been wanting to share this one for a while. It depicts a very traumatic day, and I'm wondering if I can "paint the trauma away". But at least the Sonoran Desert sunsets are always beautiful.

PS. Don't let your toddler drink and drive! lol