I’m trying to not be judgemental but I guess it really grinds my gears. I’m all for people having a break. Heck even go have a weekend holiday if you wish if that’s your thing but long holidays especially when kids are like 5 and under feels so odd to me.

This has only come to my attention as I have someone in my personal life who does this. I am kinda in her circle regularly as our kids are cousins but outside of that I would never interact with this woman. I find it very strange. Also notice it online a lot. What gives if this is you and it’s not for a work commitment?

I just had my daughter and my eyes have opened to the amount of negativity about girls. My family talks about my 2 almost 3 year old neice is such a negative way. "She has an additute, sassy, diva, drama queen, a monster"

She is young, growing and learning. Her brain has not fully developed. Why can't we phrase these behaviors in a more positive light.

Instead- She is confident, creative, curious, adventurous, full of energy, wild spirit etc.

Then... my family is also under the impression that since I have a daughter she will hate me in the future.

Why all the negativity. I will not allow my daughter to hear any of this when she is older.

Has anyone else experienced this?

A good friend of mine is getting married next year, my sister is the maid of honor and told me the plans for the hen do are to go abroad for 4 nights. I’m a mum to a 1 year old and a 4 year old, during this initial conversation I replied that I think it’s unlikely I’d be able to attend an abroad hen do but would be there without a doubt if the hen do was in the same country, and asked to be kept in the loop on plans so I could see what might work.

Today I asked about how the plans are coming along and said that (since I recently stopped breastfeeding) I was feeling more positive about making it work for me to go abroad, at least for some of the trip. My sister told me that she’d already told the bride I was 100% not coming, and the bride is shocked and annoyed at me that I wouldn’t prioritize her hen party. On top of this, she then told me that the bride was thinking about asking me to be a bridesmaid and had made me up a bridesmaid invite box (eye roll) but on hearing that I was deliberating about whether I could attend an abroad hen party, pulled the plug on this idea.

I was pretty sad after this conversation but mostly annoyed. Neither my sister of the bride have kids, they don’t “get” it that it would be hard to justify a solo trip on so many levels, and then were so quick to jump on me when I’d said in an initial conversation that I wasn’t sure. Still at this point the hen party is a year away, there hasn’t been any decisions made on a destination or a date.

Am I unreasonable to unsure about if I can attend? At this point, I’m not sure I want to even bother. Thanks for listening

I’ll keep it short and add more background information if needed. This is my first post. My son, 12 white male, called a black kid the “n word” at school today. I am mortified l, embarrassed, and pissed. He has grown up in a liberal progressive house, that word had never been said under my roof. He lives with me full time and has been able to visit his mom’s house on and off through the years. She has told him in the past it’s ok to use that word of no black people are around. I could go on for days about her as a parent but I digress.

I wish I could say this is the first instance. The first time we had a serious talk about how harmful it is, he denied saying it. Then there was a fight on a bus and it was said a second time and he got ground along with ass whoopin at home. This is now number 3. What am I supposed to do at this point? I do not understand why he won’t take this seriously. Part of me hopes he gets beat up at school to drive the lesson home. Is asking our black friends to talk to him about the pain that word causes/ scare him strait an appropriate response?

TLDR: My 11-month-old twins (9.5 months adjusted) just started MDO 1 day/week from 9–1. They’re still firmly on 2 naps (9:30 & 2:30), but their classroom has no scheduled nap/rest time and no quiet sleep area. They’re the youngest kids in the class, and the other children don’t nap. Should we unenroll them?

First day drop-off went great, but around 10:30 neither would nap and my daughter became inconsolable. She also wouldn’t eat. They have a history of feeding aversion/poor weight gain, and being overtired makes their already-difficult feeding significantly worse. By 11:45, the teacher asked me to pick them up because they were both struggling.
Now they’re home and neither wants to eat, and I’m questioning whether this program is just not a good fit right now.

I’m especially wondering about the lack of any designated rest/quiet time. I understand they may not actually sleep, but would it be unreasonable to expect some dim lighting/quiet time/white noise so younger kids at least have a chance to rest?

The tricky part is that we’ve already paid the deposit, and we’d also owe the September tuition, with the payment deadline coming up. I’m considering asking if they would let us apply our deposit toward next year instead, but I’m not sure if that’s realistic. I’m a SAHM with health issues and really just felt like I needed at least a little break and time for appointments.

MDO/daycare teachers and parents: what would you do? Would you stick it out and hope they adjust, or reconsider the program until they’re on one nap?

Would you give them a choice, even?

Asking this because my kids had some chicken nuggets and potato waffles for dinner tonight. Most nights I cook one meal for the whole family, but sometimes my husband and I want a takeaway and we order it once the kids are asleep so I just just grab whatever I have in the freezer, cook the food and then give it to my kids because I can't be bothered to make a homemade meal when an 8 year old and 4 year old are the only ones who will eat that meal 🤣🙈

So my parents are pretty traditional, they were both officers in the military, we go to church on Sundays. When I was in middle school, they let me kind of do whatever I want but when I was but for when I started high school the expectation was I was too play football and join civil air patrol. They had the same expectations for my brother so I knew this was coming.

I grew my hair out but had to cut it in regs before the start of the school year and my dad said “finally I was getting cut”. I also attend a private school where dress clothes and ties are required. So basically my weeks are uptight school/football five days a week, Saturday civil air patrol, and Sunday church. I get that I need to get use to having short hair and jobs require a tie but itstill feels so uptight

I’m truly not sure if this is the right subreddit for this kind of thing, I guess I’ll know if it gets deleted or not. I have a lot of ‘lore’/back history i need to provide, but that would make this way too long.

My question is, plain and simply, who’s more ‘obligated’ to maintain a relationship between parent and child? even an adult child. if your immediate answer is “both” i agree btw. 1000%. but who does it fall on more, if it came down to it? the parent, or the child?

I’ve tried maintaining my relationship with my mom. I’ve let go of my dad so idec about him. but i’m done. why am i always trying to call and seek her out? i just had my very first baby 8 months ago and i have no support from her. at all. no calls, no checkups. not even while i was pregnant. Literally every one in my family is pissing me off.

Hey parents, i have a question on when would be the best age to get a child a phone, I know theres a lot of back and fourth of when a child should have a phone but im just wondering and i know theres other devices that parents use like kids smart watches or at home tablets. but for this instance a smart phone for school or when not with parents or trusted guardians.

**thank you all for this very good feedback. I did have another question. How do you as a parent keep track of your kids? like when they have a phone do you use an app or do you just trust that they are going to be where they are supposed to? Parents with teens how much independence do you give them? I understand there are parents that go too far with controlling their kids but I personally had parents that didnt even notice when i was gone for days at a time. so im just trying to find a middle ground here on how other parents do it?

I’ve been thinking about something since my mom’s reaction to what happened with my husband.

Is it possible that a parent could have experienced physical abuse in their marriage and their child never know about it?

For example, could my dad have physically abused my mom at some point when I was growing up, and I genuinely never noticed or knew about it?

I’m wondering because of the way my mom reacted to my situation. She believed 100% that my husband had physically abused me, but instead of telling me to leave or saying that I didn’t deserve it, she told me that “these things happen in marriage” and that I was doing the right thing by covering it up and not making a big deal about it.

I’m not saying my dad actually abused my mom. I honestly have no idea. I’m just wondering if her reaction could come from something she experienced herself that I don’t know about.

I am not a parent but I always wonder if people who studied something like child psychology or human development have more knowledge and prepardness when it comes to parenting? I've heard people say "parenting isn't something you really understand until you just do it" and I'm wondering if this is true or if there are any people who field of word just happened to prepare them more than others.

My husband and I have tickets to a music festival on Saturday the 18th. Originally, my dad was going to come and spend the day with them and sleep overnight but he forgot he had something that day so he can't (whole other rant).

We can send them to my mil's overnight but 14 yo is very set in her ways and doesn't like to sleep in other places so she won't want to go. Plus my mil is very anxious and being around her is a chore, and honestly neither of my kids really enjoy their time with her. So it feels like we'd be punishing them to send them there.

Am I crazy to be considering leaving them home alone and just going to see the last two bands? So we'd be gone maybe 6-7pm to maybe midnight. They've been alone multiple times before for 2+ hours and have been fine. The concert is about a half hour away and they both know how to text us if something comes up and we could leave immediately. I keep thinking that when I was 12 I was babysitting my little sisters all the time. They'd just play video games the whole time. We even have a camera we could set up to keep an eye on them and if I recall we can even "talk" through it (we havent used it in awhile). I'm in NYS if that matters.

Edit: we also are very friendly with our neighbors and can give them a heads up that our kids are alone and to keep an eye out and be on hand for emergencies.

Obviously juggling work and rasing a child is difficult! Obviously parents don't find being a parent "pointless"!

I just mean when I think about having kids and needing to keep working...Sure, there's childcare costs. There's responsibilities that take up time. But I think more of the sadness of it...A child! A parent's world! ...that you spend just a few hours a day with. It sounds so heartbreaking, I can't understand it. ​

My preschooler is happy and social and has good friends since starting his preschool last year. Most kids are of similar backgrounds, but we try to raise him without sugary snacks, screen time, and overall healthy lifestyle choices. Not every one in the class is that way, however recently we met the parents of one of my kid's good friends.

Kid's mom works in the same field as my wife, dad is slightly socially awkward but overall good people who also try to raise their kid in a similar way

Only difference is the kid's parents are new to town and don't have many other adult friends, while we are in our hometown and already have a social circle.

I don't mind making new friends, it's inevitable we'll have to spend time with the parents of our kid's classmates.

What has been getting on my nerves is that the parents always ask us every time we have a weekend or any free afternoon what we're going, what our schedule is, if we want to hang out with them. We went to the park once, we went to an outdoor concert at the park a second time, and recently to a pool since it's been hot.

Their kid has been doing soccer for about a year, but now they're asking us to put our kid in the same soccer club. We mentioned we may want to do something like martial arts, they said the kid isn't that into it but they will also put their kid alongside ours when we tell them when we start going.

The kid's mom now has been texting my wife daily just asking how we are and what our plans are for every upcoming weekend. Sometimes we have plans, other times we're free, but we don't want to hang out with them every single time we don't have any plans, but it seems like they do.

I get it, they don't have a social circle here and found parents with similar parenting styles and ~vibes~ but they're being a bit too aggressive trying to cling to our every move.

I would rather not have their kid do my kid's sport, since every time we've hung out with a purpose (like watching a concert, doing something organized) they get distracted and just play with each other.

TLDR how can I get these clingy parents off our backs without sounding to rude but saying hey look we do like you but we need some space and don't want your kid to do every thing our kid does, especially since it can be distracting sometimes from the purpose of the event

I’m looking for experiences and perspectives from parents of teenagers who have the following hobby: making dragon puppets/animal masks and/or doing quadrobics (walking and jumping on all fours like an animal, sometimes while wearing an animal mask and tail).

Over the past year, this hobby has developed quite a bit for my 12-year-old daughter. It started with creatively making dragon puppets, and has gradually progressed to wearing a tail and mask and running around the garden on all fours as part of doing quadrobics.

We definitely want to give her the freedom to enjoy this hobby at home, because she gets a lot of joy out of it and is incredibly creative when making masks and everything that goes along with it. At the same time, we’ve noticed that it’s increasingly shifting from being a hobby/play activity into everyday life. Since getting the tails, she would preferably wear one all day and would like to wear it to school, shops, birthday parties, etc. She also sometimes walks or jumps on all fours around other people (as part of quadrobics) or makes wagging movements with her tail.

We’re currently trying to figure out where we want to draw the line. Not because we think she should stop doing it altogether, but because we also want to teach her that you’re allowed to be yourself while also understanding that not every behaviour or form of self-expression is equally appropriate in every situation. I also want to keep it clear for her that this is a hobby rather than a new identity, particularly because these interests have quite a bit of overlap with the therian phenomenon.

For now, we’re thinking along the lines of: at home, with friends, at the playground or park, etc., she can enjoy it freely. But at school, in supermarkets/restaurants, or when we’re guests at someone else’s birthday party, for example, the tails and masks stay at home or in her bag, and no quadrobics.

I’d really like to hear how other parents view this and whether you’re experiencing something similar at home. Do you set certain boundaries around it, leave it entirely up to your child, or is it something you haven’t really thought about yet? 😄

I remember being a child and when I would drop something like a plate pandemonium would break loose. I was getting shouted at and punished but when they did it they just laughed it off and suddenly it was no big deal.

If I made a mess in my room they packed all my toys in trashbags and put them in the attic for months. If they had a mess in their room they would just „worry about it later“.

If I couldn’t finish my plate I was forced to sit there for hours until I could force feed myself the last piece when they were full it was just thrown away.

When I got sick they got angry at me for being sick and made me feel like it was my fault for doing this and that. If they were sick no big deal.

I didn’t want to go somewhere? I was locked in my room for hours with no access to a bathroom until they came back, even though I was often being left alone at home anyway. When they didn’t want to go somewhere we just didn’t.

And a lot more examples. This behaviour diminished the older I got I was just punished when I was as young as I could remember to 16 and had to teach my parents to have more grace towards my little brother.

I know parents are often stressed but this behaviour makes no sense to me. I know I wasn’t the only one who experienced this, I used to ask other kids in school about this and they affirmed they were being treated the same.

Does anyone have an explanation or maybe even a confirmation that this is uncommon now if it is? I feel like leading by example is important and too many people were just forced into the role of mindless subordinate instead of child with a lot to learn.

Hello, I'm 21 about to be 22 and I'm basically spiraling over this situation. For context my parents are lesbians. My bio mom had me with my dad and my other mom had my 8yr old brother through a donor. Because of this he basically doesn't have a dad. And as of recent he has consistently brought it up and now has attempted to use it as some sort of talking point. I'm honestly not really sure. I'll ask him to do something basic like hand me the remote or try to give him advice on something and his responses will mainly consist of why. Or sometimes it'll be "you're not my dad". Now this is obvious and i don't care. But he's serious about it and i don't know why he's saying it. Ive brought it up to both my moms. And they're shocked. Like "whaaat, why would he do that" but they have yet to say anything. And this is recent. Before summer none of this was an issue but now i feel like he doesn't respect me.

I'm aware we are siblings and that i don't have "complete jurisdiction" as a parent would but I'm also old enough to be his guardian when our parents are around. I feel kind of paralyzed. Sometimes i will tell him to do something and he questions me which is good, but its over every little thing. Like i told him to stop jumping right next to the sidewalk, when there where cars passing by, his response is why. But I don't yell and i dont like raising my voice. 1 because i just dont do that and 2 I don't want him to fear me. Something that just happened was that he needed help with the TV remote. So i asked if he wanted my help and he said yes, so naturally i go to help. I show him how to do it successfully and i show him which buttons to press as he was pressing the wrong ones. His response is to snatch the remote and say "but mom said you have to press these 2" while pressing the 2 wrong ones. And as i ask him to ask our mother which channel baseball is on. He starts leaving but turns around gets visually upset with me and confronts me with "that's what i was doing". Long story short. He got confused. But he wont let me explain what went wrong in our communication and what gave him the wrong idea. This is a back and forth over a damn TV remote. And its draining. sometimes he will put me in a scenario to explain something to him but instead of listening he gets upset, ignores me and goes on about how his way is right. And its starting to happen everyday. This behavior stretches across multiple scenarios. I would like to be more strict but i don't want him to feel like I'm always right, or that he cant have a cordial conversation with me. But i also don't want to have to explain every. Single. Thing. In detail. There will be scenarios where no matter what i do or say he will not listen. I think I'm rather patient as i don't lose my temper. But even under all of that I'm NOT his dad so am i allowed to be strict? I'm aware that I'm young and naive and probably overthinking it but i don't like the idea that we might be put in a situation where i need to protect him and he wont listen. Its irritating me and as this behavior builds up i don't want to hang out with him. I was pretty depressed for a few years and i ended up isolating and pushing a lot of people away including him. As of recent i started to feel better but i don't want to go back to a stage where i don't want to be around him. I'm lost. Completely. This is something that is very much bothering me. I feel like no matter what decision i make its wrong. This situation is draining. And the more this persists. The less i want to be around him. I don't know what to do. Please. Id appreciate some guidance, no matter how small.

Also for more context. He has to deal with a split home. My parents split when he was 2 he spends 3-4 days out of the week at this house. I don't know if that has anything to do with it though. But they have a solid and communicative relationship. There is 0 toxicity between the 2.

im 20 and i’ve never been allowed to keep my phone or ipad in my room overnight. they make me put everything in their room at 9pm 😭. they do pay for my phone, so i understand why they feel they have some say in it, but i’ve never been caught staying up all night or anything, they have just never allowed it from the start

i asked on my 20th birthday and they said no because i’d “be up all night” and that i’d “thank them in the future.” i even suggested a one-week trial and they still refused. when i asked if it’s bc they don’t trust me, they said they do so idk it doesn’t make sense.

i’ve tried explaining that i need my phone for work because i work early cafe shifts (starting at 5am), so i also need an alarm. i currently use my sister’s alarm clock, and when i said i need my phone for an alarm they just told me to choose a nice alarm clock i like and buy it 😭 coworkers and managers sometimes message me after 9pm, but they just say “they shouldn’t be messaging you that late anyway,” so that argument doesn’t work

apart from the work/alarm stuff, it honestly just annoys me that i’m 20 and still have to hand my phone over at 9pm. and before anyone says “just don’t give it to them,” they literally come into my room to get it themselves and get annoyed if i don’t, so that’s not really an option

lol not that it matters but i’m a girl

turning 17 in about a month and a half. Me and my dad live in a very small rural town, maybe 2 thousand people. My dad has limited my walking space to maybe 1/2 of my town. I'm talking 15 minutes to walk from one boundary to the next. I have 2 stores, 2 gas stations, and a baseball stadium, but I can only go to a singular gas station unless my dad drops me off at the stadium (15 minute walk by the way)

My curfew is 8pm, weekends and weekdays, street lights don't come on around this time. My entire town spans 15x15 streets and I can walk maybe 6x6. Mind you nothing bad ever happens in my town. No history of gangs, violence, crime, anything like that but he claims that I'll be the one to get killed by the cartel even though 12 year olds wander the streets at 12am (???)

Furthermore, I can't go into any of my friends houses until my dad knows the parents, has their numbers, has went inside the home, and knows both of their parents and my friend very well. And funny thing is, ive known my friends for years and talk about them very frequently. Sleepovers are a guaranteed no. no matter what. I can't get into anyone's car even if it's off, broken down, doesnt matter. and if i need a ride i need my dad. my gas station had gotten a theft claim (some guy stole a thing of mayonnaise not even lying) and now I can't even walk into my gas station because he thinks that they'll think I'm stealing and go to jail.

I used to have a phone when I was 15 and it was made by gabb (people who have horrible reputation and make phones for 6 year olds)

My dad controlled all contacts, he has to approve contacts from people, 0 social media no matter what, not even Google or YouTube, and he can read every text that I send or receive. I can't even close my door at night or stay up past 1130 on weekends.

Mind you currently I'm home alone while he's at work until around 6, I have a whole ass job i work 5 days a week. I clean the entire house weekly and heavy upkeep almost daily, clean out his car whenever he asks, clean his room, deal with his messes, dishes bathrooms clothes you name it. Taking care of a gecko and 2 dogs. I'm the only one holding the house up, if it wasn't for me it would go to shambles.

I just need honest input. Am i delusional? is my dad a good amount of strict vs chill?

This is something i've sort of wondered aince I've become an adult. When you are younger your parents nurture you and are very loving but as you get older that feeling isnt as strong as you become more independent. Does that feeling always stay there though or does it just kind of go away as they become adults and move out and stuff like that?

I, (18f) and my boyfriend, (19m) might've made a big mistake. I won't go into details but there's a very high chance I could be pregnant. I'm going home this upcoming weekend for my 19th birthday. By this weekend I'll be able to take a pregnancy test and know if I'm pregnant. My question is if I am, should I tell my parents when I'm home and then run back to school or do I wait until I'm back at school to text/call them. I normally wouldn't just to conclusions but the way its looking, I'm probably pregnant. For reference me and my boyfriend are both sophomores in college about 2 hours from home, we probably have 1,500 dollars saved together. I have no worries about him leaving, he knows I might be pregnant and is mentally preparing to tell his parents. Parents, what would you want your kids to do? Please let me know, I'm slightly freaking out.

Mine (12 ) has reninded me to have a moment of childishness amongst problematic moments .