I pushed an old lady down a flight of stairs because she was DISTURBING my AESTHETIC CONTEMPLATION. She later came to my apartment door with two G-MEN in suits to demand "compensation." COMPENSATION, she wants, that little widow? She demands 'compensation' for her broken hip. A FUNDAMENTALLY ABSURD REQUEST. Since my world is my REPRESENTATION, I merely rearranged the spatial-temporal coordinates of my OWN phenomenal cognition. I pushed MYSELF down the stairs in the form of an OLD WOMAN. Why the FUCK should I pay her? That would be me paying myself, a PONZI SCHEME. Another pathetic example of der Wille zum Leben's endless striving toward nothing in particular.
I am VERY hungry, I am VERY angry, I am EXTREMELY horny, I am VERY greedy. I am a flesh-vehicle for the Will's continued self-subsistence, I am an arm of the Ding-an-sich. My world is my representation, I can NEVER know anything except what my a priori forms of cognition allow me to. CONVENIENTLY, my nicotine addiction is NOT one of these, and thus is the NOUMENON. This is because cause and effect and whatnot. PURE ACTION IN NOTHINGNESS.
When my pack of smokes is empty, the Will is violently starved, and I am plunged into ABSOLUTE SUFFERING. When I buy a new one and smoke it, the fleeting cessation of desire IMMEDIATELY collapses into suffocating BOREDOM. I am a MEAT PENDULUM swinging violently between the gas station and my used Herman Miller from eBay (IT WAS CHEAP DO NOT WORRY ABOUT MY FINANCES).
APROPOS CHEAPNESS: I do NOT care about my finances, ALL finances are a Ponzi scheme, because we're all ONE, we're merely paying ourselves, this is called A BUBBLE! Does anyone remember '92? The Japanese housing bubble BURST because of a Ponzi scheme propped up by a weak yen and the Yakuza. Sound familiar? It should, YOU WERE THERE. I WAS TOO.
I am NOT depressed, I merely realize the ceaseless striving of the Will. I am NOT a virgin, I merely see the POINTLESSNESS of attempting to satisfy my desperation for love and care, for once my desperation is satisfied it moves to BOREDOM, and I will inevitably yearn for something else. It is better to do NOTHING AT ALL, or I might become a methhead or a serial rapist. I do NOT pay heed to the fact the Will is the metaphysical basis of all existence, and is thus inescapable. The intellect is just yet another tool of the Will-to-live, and a priori forms of cognition such as "facts" or "logic" are thus downstream of this. THIS IS PERFECTLY LOGICAL AND NOT CIRCULAR AT ALL. It's NOT a deus ex machina I worked myself into because I found the conclusion of my metaphysics uncomfortable!
Schopenhauer is undeniably the greatest genius ever, thus, as a fan of his, I am the SECOND BIGGEST GENIUS EVER. My nicotine addiction is further proof of my genius, as I not only feel, but EMBODY the Will. And the fact I try to ignore the cold sweats, irritability, and vague discomfort I get from not smoking through turning the volume on my headphones all the way up is just further proof of my genius. I am NOT "engaging in escapism to run from the discomfort of withdrawals," I am NOT "destroying my hearing"—I am engaging in AESTHETIC CONTEMPLATION. Music is the highest form of art, because it involves the fewest of the a priori senses. And thus is closer to the Will. THIS is why I pushed the disgusting old crone down the stairs. Her grating voice SOMEHOW made it through my noise cancelling Bose QuietComfort 35 IIIs, disturbing my aesthetic contemplation, and dragging me back into the horrible world of the Will's tyranny. SHE LACKS COMPASSION. Compassion is the highest virtue and equilibrium HAD to be restored!
I am currently sitting PLASTERED to the toilet. I got stressed and so smoked the rest of my pack and became COMPLETELY INCONTINENT. INCONVENIENTLY ENOUGH, the bitch is still outside my door, and I need a new pack. I live on the third floor, should I jump? I know suicide is technically a VULGAR AFFIRMATION of the Will rather than a denial of it, but the G-men are picking the lock and I really need a cigarette. (Alternatively can anyone buy me a pack of American spirit browns and a coke zero and throw it through my window?)
Any Schopenhauerian tips guys? NO HEGELIANS, SCHELLINGIANS OR FICHTEANS PLEASE. If a Fichtean replies to this I will posit my fist directly into your non-ego.