Hey fam,

I recently came out as bigender, and most of the trans women in my community have been acting really passive aggressive towards me.

Is this common? And if so, what the heck?

hello y'all! i mostly lurked this sub so far. im for sure genderqueer, and i definetly believe in different energies inside us (or myself at least) that could in some cases be called masculine and feminine, but at the same time it's also fluid in a way where it can shift into a unique other energy that mostly doesn't exists alongside the others... i feel like that is also bigender in a way? anyway i dont currently carry the bigender label too closely, but this community is pretty nice and i wanted to send out some good vibes and share some gender thought worms <3

And they were so supportive and happy for me, I don't know what I was so nervous about.

I've been processing it for a while, and I kept this side of me repressed for so long. When I was a kid I didn't really understand what was going on. Sometimes I'd borrow my sister's clothes because I thought they looked nice and I wanted to try them on. My mother caught me and screamed at me that it wasn't what boys should do.

Back then as well, all the labels and pronouns we have now weren't really used. At first I thought I was gay, because that was really the only other label we had besides straight. So I tried to come out to my mum when I was a teenager, and based on what her reaction was before, you can guess what her reaction was that time 😅 my father was no use as well because he was a violent drug addict.

So I repressed this side of me for over two decades. And I finally gave myself permission to embrace both my masculine and feminine sides. I'm just really glad my friends were awesome about it, I fucking love those idiots 😂

Hi, I guess this is my official coming out post? I was a member of this sub Reddit a long time ago but was going through a lot of internalised ideas about my gender, I'm back now and a lot more comfortable! Right now I'm using the name Warren (although I'm debating whether to keep two middle names or have my first name be hyphenated like my dead name was), I'm in my 20s and I'm finishing up a masters degree of Modern History at university.

And, of course, I'm Bigender! Man and genderqueer but I'll just use non-binary or even trans man if I don't want to go into the full explanation. I used He/They mainly and consider myself transmasculine most days but I'm figuring out how this will affect my presentation and how to navigate life as a Bigender person now I've fully accepted it. Another couple things about me are: my favourite animals are crocodiles, I love science, I love the circus and am also embracing my love of music and movies more lately.

I feel like I have two different sides of me, two different narratives. My AGAB is male, but... I want to be a female.

That said, I also have a hard time letting go of my "male" self. But... I wanna be pretty, and be a girl! Lol. Honestly, I'm hoping my two "narratives" can merge at some point with HRT.

"Brian" and "Brianne". I socially now go by Briane, a kind of "in between," which can be pronounced either way and can be held by someone both masculine and feminine, similarly to something like Jamie, Kim or Ash.

im so happy!!! she does these mini 9x6 flags for only $20, and a portion of the profit goes to rainbow railroad go check her out!

Need a name not too feminine and not too masculine. If this helps i like coding (and other computer related topics), Sonic the Hedgehog, Writing, and Music (mostly alt rock like Weezer and MCR)

Came out to my sister today and it went well. She supported my situation and probably understands it, and she also asked about my marriage and my work situation in a respectful way. People can surprise you.

Next goal is to come out to my brother. I'm sure he'll get it, but he's very much a guy so I'm not sure he'll totally get it.

But I kinda want to be the annoying sister that follows him around asking questions.

"So like if we were in a bar and I got harassed, would you punch a guy out for me? Like, I'm still piloting this male body so I could do it myself, but it would be so cool to watch my baby bro defend my honor."

He's a man of few words, so you know that's going to be entertaining. But I'm holding back on it until after we talk. :)

Well someone I assumed would be an ally let me down last night. She took umbrage because i described an experience as appealing to my inner lesbian. The experience was triggered by a woman, and was deeply felt in my feminine core.

I am trying to be very mindful of not offending anyone, but i cant describe my inner experience any clearer than i was a woman being turned on by a woman. Hell, i am a woman who gets turned on by women. But she made it ...political, if thats the phrase. Anyways I sent what might be my final text to her and among other things, told her that as far as she's concerned my pronouns are she/her. Petty? Maybe. But since she cant see me as a woman she's lost the permisdion to see me as a man.

What I learned is that this community is more accepting than i realized and I am grateful fot that.

I am also a stone cold boss-ass bitch and I will defend my newly hatched egg with every fiber of my being.

hello, i am a very feminine presenting teenage girl, born and raised. i have had bouts of masculine presentation and refusing femininity, but i believe a lot of girls experienced this.

im 17 years old now and i recently (on and off for like 3 years) discovered i have a certain yearning for a man's existence. the yearning at times was very large, but i never gathered courage to really identify as trans. honestly the fact i struggle with internalised misogyny made rationalisation easier.

my yearning was for a man's social standing as well as this thought-up version of myself that was a man and had muscles and a deep voice and everything - deadass had the urge to fake my death, hide out somewhere as i transition into a man and live life as a man without anybody knowing i was trans so i would be perceived as a man by anyone. the muscles part made me start going into the gym, where i began getting bulkier (very slightly). i didnt like it. i didnt want to change my fem body.

it was a weird realisation for me, that i loved the way my body looked like before i went to the gym even though i yearned for a man's stature.
it's like there are two entities that are unable to collide or compromise because they'd be unhappy - a male ideal body and a female ideal body. idek if i feel comfortable with he/him pronouns.

as wonderful as a male body sounds, i love being a girl. i love dressing up, i love the community women have built, i love my curves and my body.

im hesitant to identify as anything other than cis (bc trans people have a hard life, unfortunately) but i also dont want to lie to myself. i honestly dont think id ever transition because i love my body rn.

thank you so much for sitting through my yap :) i understand that the answer i seek stems from a very personal place but i would just like to know if people here ever experienced something like this <3 sorry if i offended anyone

I'm male. I'm not fully sure if I am bigender yet, but I think that I am. I never really thought much about my gender until I did and had an episode of gender dysphoria, which included watching OneTopic and dressing as a girl with my current wardrobe. I still dress as a girl but have not bought anything yet. I also haven't gone in public as a girl. I thought I was transfem at first and wanted to transition, but I currently think that I am bigender as I realized that I really do not want to be in my sixties, seventies, eighties, and above as a female as I really want just to be a bald guy with a good mustache.

However, having boobs would be nice, but I don't think I'd want my chest to be bouncing for the rest of my life. I recently thought about if I just wanted to be a femboy like a third of the time, but I could still do that technically. I think my thoughts go from being a guy, being a girl, which hasn't happened a lot, or having the same thoughts at the same time, which has happened much more often to my knowledge of myself. Since I've had LGBTQ+ thoughts, I think there's only been two times that I felt more female than male, which the first time was when I thought I was trans. The second time was when I went out in public and felt a little bit randomly rebellious. I also felt pretty androgynous when I wore a stupid combination of clothing out in public. If I could press a button to turn into a girl for a day, I would press it a lot. My current position is that I'm bigender, but I just want to confirm.

Also, I had a pretty euphoric moment when I was dressing as a girl and found something I really liked. It was not a choker, but I probably will buy a choker soon because I really like the look of a choker. I have been called a girl multiple times in public because of my hair among other reasons. I can do what I consider to be a good feminine voice by just pitching my voice up. Meanwhile, I also remember telling someone that I didn't really care about what pronouns were used to describe me, but the person, which I told, told me that I should use he/him. Since then, I haven't exactly thought about pronouns that much, but I think my original opinion still stands.

I'd like to have some questions to answer because I obviously want to know myself better, and I'm still rather new to being a part of LGBTQ+ and queer. Also, is it normal to get aroused while dressing the opposite gender? I do not dress as a girl just to get quick dopamine to my personal knowledge as I feel like that it is currently more of a side effect of dressing as a girl.

First of all, I apologize for my English!! I'm using a translator for this text to see if it reaches more people!

I'll give some context: I really like someone who identifies as bigender! This person told me that they prefer when pronouns are alternated, which is fine! But I wanted to learn more about this subject, learn better ways to compliment this person, ways to handle this relationship without gender roles! I am a trans girl, although lately I've been having doubts about that, but I'm part of the community and I know that relationships are a challenge for us! I would like to know from you how I can learn more about bigenderness, ways to treat this person I like so much! Of course, I intend to talk more deeply with this person about this subject, so I want to learn more so as not to commit any prejudice or any comment that will offend this person!

Not my character! This is Hoseki from Pretty Girls!

Heya!

I had this moment at work and I guess just need to vent... idk.

Anyways I work security for a mental heath unit. I'm not presenting outwardly as any sort of trans or anything like that and because I work in security I just don't really think it's in my best intrest to let my coworkers know. This is just my reality. It's none of their business anyways and I already know that some of the coworkers particular comments that lead me to believe it's a bad idea.

Lucky for me, i am the only security officer in the mental health ward so I don't really have to deal with that bs.

Either way, the other shift i was just chilling, doing my security officer stuff around the department when I hear one of the older male nurses talking to one of the other nurses about gender identities. They were going on and on and i heard him say, "I don't really care what gender someone is, but how can you be nonbinary. You're either one or the other."

So now I'm extra not coming out at work. My brain was like... what if I introduced him to the concept of bigender folk though and the idea that hermaphrodites exist, just to fuck with him. But anyone reading this will know that once someones mind is set like that, theirs not much point in convincing them.

I was just baffled how a nurse in a hospital who's job it is to help people could be so close minded about something as basic as gender. The topic came up because one of the patients who i think may be on estrogen, is they/them. The conversation in general shouldn't be happening in a sealed department of the hospital with the patient still in the department, and if someone can't accept basic things like gender identities, then they really shouldn't be working in any public service at all let alone a hospital where peoples health is on the line.

The whole situation just drives me a bit crazy. People have been bigender/trans for longer then the guys been alive. To be honest, I don't think the guy knows bigender is a thing. I realize what I said about introducing him to bigender doesn't include nonbinary people, but it still immediately breaks his idea that you have to be one or the other. My partners nonbinary so it's not just about me either when I heard it either.

Idk... why do people even care what someone else is? It literally doesn't effect them at all. It pisses me off.

I understand the fear of appropriation, but it's difficult to be in my position where I'm a woman who likes women in a male body. There's no word for that.

I already look like the first one lol

Been feeling kinda scared that I can never be fully myself and be understood or that I'll always have to compromise and hide some part of me in order for other parts of me to be fully recognized. Idk how to juggle the expectation to be monogender or else be automatically nonbinary, neither of which resonate with me. I'm scared to interact with people as outwardly bigender even when I'm pretty sure they'd be accepting, because I don't want to lose the comradery of the way they relate to me in the commonalities we do share. But if I hide it, they are sometimes trying to relate to me in a way I don't and can't.

This is more a vent than anything else, but I wonder if there is a way I can build and work towards what I want, which is authenticity, understanding and acceptance. Like, how would that work? What would it look like? How do I figure out what a happy, healthy life looks like for me?

My femme side cannot listen to Melissa Ethridge without squirming in the best way possible.