For background, I’ve been struggling with picking at my thumbnails for most of my life. I believe it started when i got into nail art when i was 7, and when i ran out of acetone, i would pick and peel off the polish. Another precursor was that my mom has had the same habit of picking at her nail bed, with permanent deformities. I would say i got the habit from her , although i give into the temptations 10x worse where every time i have a session of picking, i draw blood with raw areas underneath the nail exposed. Most times are intentional, like scratching an itch, but sometimes i find my index finger picking at my thumb nail on its own.
You might think my mom would be the best person to reach out to, but NOPE - shes wildly insecure about her nails, and she has bad mouthed my nail picking habits (that i adopted from her) multiple times by calling it ugly/disgusting. In the past she compared her own nail deformities to mine to make her feel better, saying “mine dont look like yours”.
I did have a period where i managed to get better ! One day during 2020 (quarantine) i completely lost my nail after absent-mindedly picking for what was probably 4 hours. I took that as a wake up call to get better. It took maybe half a year to heal from that, and i regrew my thumbnail. However, during my last few years of college, the habit came back.. first started with picking at the cuticle, then at the nail bed, then progressed into reaching for the tools like tweezers, cuticle nippers, etc.. ugh. So im back to square one.
I cant seem to find a specific trigger. I pick it when im bored, anxious, or just when i happen to look at my thumb. I have a history of OCD and depression , and my self image has absolutely been affected, where i find myself insecure about going out with friends, being with my partner, and i have been less and less hopeful on getting better.
What seems to work a lil for me is wrapping my thumbnail with a bandaid. But this has been an annoyance considering how many times i have to change the bandaid everytime it gets wet,, i use about 3 bandaids per day and this method works , but having to put a bandaid on for the rest of my life to prevent further injury is not very appealing :•[
I have a therapy appointment in 2 weeks, but if anyone had similar picking habits to my degree, i would really love to know your story and things that helped you !
TLDR - predisposed nail picking is ruining my life, i have a therapy appointment soon but i want to know what helps you ^^
