r/comic_crits • u/Jas_A_Hook • Jan 11 '15

Comic: One Shot Constructive Criticism Requested: Comic Book Project

Post image
8 Upvotes

85% Upvoted

14 comments sorted by

6

u/Smilehate Jan 11 '15

I recognize that hand: http://imgur.com/3fOsppL

I don't know that I'd call it plagiarism, but the . . . inspiration? . . . is immediately recognizable. Makes me wonder how many other parts of the image are similarly inspired.

5

u/deviantbono Editor, Writer, Mod Jan 11 '15

Nice catch.

2

u/Jas_A_Hook Jan 11 '15

no your right the hand was inspired by the Calvin and hobbes strip, Its one of my favorites. If its that easily recognizable then i will have to change it. I would never want to plagiarize. I use a lot of reference 3d models and photos of poses. Edit: Thank you btw

2

u/zeichman Jan 11 '15

I'd say keep it, it's a nice little nod to a favourite comic. I would echo most of the comments so far. A seatbelt might be worth adding. I like your linework and your inking is pretty great. Should be interesting to see where it goes.

1

u/Jas_A_Hook Jan 11 '15

He's not wearing a seat belt that's why he died! No I'm just kidding that's a great suggestion one seat belt coming up

I'm going to redraw the hand and I'll ask you guy's opionin.

5

u/emptytriangle Jan 11 '15

It took me a really long time to figure out that the guy was in a car. I first thought that he was in a cave and that something exploded. The steering wheel and dashboard looked like rocks. Maybe you could put a chair behind him or next to him? His expression looks like rage. Like he's extremely angry. Was that what you were going for?

3

u/Jas_A_Hook Jan 11 '15 edited Jan 11 '15

hmmm. no not rage the first one I drew he just had his head down I wanted to show more of the characters face because it was the first frame

edit: http://i.imgur.com/Ap06DSS.png the car seats look great that was an awesome suggestion thank you so much I added some texture to the steering wheel, and when over the rear view mirror with a different pen so it would stand out. changed expression

3

u/deviantbono Editor, Writer, Mod Jan 11 '15

Looks a lot better with the chair. Shouldn't there also be chairs next to him and behind him too?

I can't tell what's happening in the second panel. Everything's drawn with the same line weight. The focal figure needs a darker outline to help it stand out.

I would also add a full stop (period) after "I was dying."

3

u/emptytriangle Jan 11 '15

Cool! That looks good. The coffee spilling is a very nice touch.

2

u/Jas_A_Hook Jan 12 '15

http://imgur.com/gallery/6twbYSz

Thanks to your crtics I have fixed: the expression on the Charters face, added textures to the steering wheel, placed seats to the car, drew and unbuckled seat belt, changed the hand as the previous was to inspired by the Calvin and Hobbes strip. Thank you /u/Smilehate and /u/emptytriangle and All

2

u/emptytriangle Jan 12 '15

panel 2 looks much better, also. I had no idea that there was a face in there before.

2

u/Jas_A_Hook Jan 12 '15

I'm glad I had your critics to help me re work it. Thank you so much I'm inking page two I'd like to upload more if you want to see more?

2

u/emptytriangle Jan 15 '15

Yeah, I'd like to see what the story's about.