Genuinely trying to collect data. How long usually first few dates (let’s say first 3) are?

I've seen this term come up a few times and i'm curious what it means to the people who say it.

What makes you high value?

How do you determine the value-level in potential mates?

Immigrant guy in Toronto. The cultural diversity here is amazing and confusing in equal measure, and I'm still trying to work out how the dating scene actually functions. Any advice appreciated.

About me: 37, in shape, good-looking, above-average income, and I'd call myself a high-value-ish guy. Great social life, plenty of male and female friends.

I've been back on the dating scene for a week or two. Three first dates so far, and not one of the women offered to pay or to split. With one of them there was a second date, and it was the same story. A date night runs me $100 to $150, and I'd honestly rather spend that on my friends than on a total stranger.

To be clear, I'm not asking about what happens once two people are officially together. This is about first dates only. Is there a polite way to signal that I'd like to split until we've decided we're something? If covering a stranger's dinner is the price of admission, I'd rather skip the date entirely. But I do want her to know I'm happy to pick up more of the tab once things get serious.

Just turned 30 F and with how fast time is flying, decreasing likes on apps since my ages changed, and a homebody, I’m trying to go out more despite feeling more and more hopeless everyday.

I noticed my likes on apps decreased the day I turned 30. I think lots of men may be filtering out women over 30.

Also I don’t drink/club/do drugs either

If so, could you share your experience? Many thanks in advance.

Taking a girl out. I’ve gotten suggestions from some friends. She wants me to surprise her but I really have not done enough dates downtown 😭. She’s a little bougie, to be fair I am too. I’m not trying to kill my wallet on night one but I’m willing to spend a little money. And it’s the first date can’t be doing too much.

I also wouldn’t mind if there’s something fun to do nearby to keep the night going after. Maybe an arcade bar nearby.

I wanna give her a good impression help me out 🙏.

Where do i find a genuine guy out in the wild? Where do i have to hang out? Home Depot?

Just want different perspectives. I'm personally anti-social and introverted, never dated but had opportunities in my youth (I'm 30m) but never acted.

As much as I love my peace and quiet I understand without any deep connections such as a girlfriend can effect my health. I want to date but as of right now my life is way behind. Don't have my own place, most 1 bedrooms are overpriced condos and the only somewhat affordable places are basements some of which I've constantly heard of shady or difficult landlords.

Made a mistake of never getting my license as a teen. Need to get it I know. But to you would that be a deal breaker for dating or not with public transportation or Uber rides. Even when I do get my license all I can think of this the cost of getting a vehicle and cost of maintenance and car insurance.

I can come to my own overall conclusion but given that toronto portrays itself as a "Thriving" city as if most jobs pay above minimum wage or atleast a fair one depending on your profession. With economic times as they are now especially with this stupid Tariff war what would you consider a standard for men to do when trying to attract, flirt and date you? I know everyone probably has some different opinions so I'd like to hear some. If you are okay with sharing please explain why based off your own life and perspective if you're comfortable with sharing it.

Thank you to anyone who read this until the end.

23F Toronto, and I am just completely emotionally drained by the dating scene here. It feels like so many guys want all the prime perks of a relationship, the consistency, the companionship, the affection, the dates without actually putting in 100% effort or committing to anything real.
Lately, it feels like I’m running into two specific types of men. The ones carrying a mountain of emotional baggage who jump into the dating pool, act all invested, and then abruptly pull away because they suddenly realize they aren’t over their exes.
And the second are the ones constantly adding girls to their "roster" like they are running an ongoing audition for a Victoria’s Secret ad. Where are all the real, emotionally mature men who actually want a genuine relationship? The ones who are ready to roll up their sleeves and work alongside a girl to build a real partnership?
I feel like I am only asking for the absolute bare minimum , consistency, honesty, and mutual respect yet finding a good man feels next to impossible in this city right now.

Hey guys,

37m recently separated and a chronic workaholic and business owner. Marriage has made me not get out much and socialize. I’m wondering if anyone can help me out with non bar/club ideas of where to meet woman and/or make friends. Into the simple things. Walking, night drives, taking someone on vacation with me, trying new food spots, etc. I’m rambling now. Hope this gets me some help.

Thanks guys!

I’m 34F completely new to dating apps and new to dating in Canada. I’ve recently separated and I’m living alone, so I’m trying to figure out how casual dating/hookups actually work here.
I matched with a guy on Bumble and we’re meeting this Friday. He has made it pretty clear that he wants to hook up and has asked me to stay the night and leave early in the morning.
I’m open to it, but I’ve never done a dating-app hookup before and honestly don’t know what I should be thinking about beforehand. I’m heavily introvert and why and I don’t know how to even approach all this.
What should I be careful about? What should I discuss with him beforehand? What are the biggest red flags? And what do you wish you knew before your first dating-app hookup?
Also, is staying overnight normal for a hookup, or would you recommend meeting first and deciding afterward?

31M white guy here. Other than working at a pretty big company and volunteering on and off, haven’t had any luck meeting anyone. Deleted the apps a while back and honestly the city can feel weirdly hard to meet people organically, everyone’s busy, and striking up conversation with strangers feels borderline illegal in Toronto.

For those of you who actually met someone in the wild recently: where, and how did the first conversation start?

Is it just me, or is dating in your 30s wild because apparently every Toronto man I've come across will say he wants a relationship but does not participate in the relationship?

You’re expected to contribute, communicate, show up and somehow ALWAYS be doing the work. Then when you finally ask so…what are we doing? They’re like I don’t know you pick or I'm going with the flow.

SIR… really?!

Can anyone else agree that the older you get, the less important a spark becomes and the more important momentum becomes? Allow me to explain…

Are they curious about you? Do they follow through? Can they communicate when something feels off? Can they actually make room for you in their life?

Because attraction gets you through the door but consistency, curiosity, kindness, and communication are what determine whether you actually want to stay.

SO at this point, dating feels exactly like a group project: one person does all the work, the other disappears and somehow he’s still expecting an A.

Anyone having similar experiences?!

I am a single woman in my mid-20s and I'm over the apps. I'm wondering where people are meeting naturally? I'm not big into drinking or clubs... I'm not sure what others' experiences have been with the singles mixers.

I'd love to meet new people, chat, and see where it goes. I just don't really know where to start

Where did you go?

What did you do?

Are you planning on going again?

IMO after travelling different US cities and having great meets, I think Toronto women are uniquely abrasive and capitalists (they just want that bag). Most of them are unapproachable or don’t have anything meaningful or interesting to say but then turn around and say it’s the quality of men etc etc

Is it just me?

Any hot spots tonight for a group of single girlies?

Thinking about going to Ossington since most of the group lives in the area but not opposed to anything in the surrounding area

Let us know where you’ll be tonight

36M, separated for 2 years, has 2 young kids, and finds that dating has been difficult.
The worst was, I asked a girl for her number; she said she could share her IG, and when I said I am a dad, so I don't give out my social media because I have pics of my kids, she just right out said, "no thanks".

I understand people have preferences; I do too, but I'm finding it harder as a dad or maybe being separated and I wanted to hear people's stories/thoughts.

I have been seeing this woman at my train station for some time but despite of constantly thinking about approaching her, I haven’t had the courage to do so.

We have locked eyes a few times but that’s the extent of it.

Have you ever had these encounters in the most unusual of places and how did you go about it?

Have you heard about an upcoming singles event and want to see if anyone else is going?

Have you gone to a recent singles event and wish to share a review of your experience?

Are you organizing a singles event soon and want to share the details? (Self promo is okay in these weekly threads only)

Please try and include details about the events if-when possible, especially if you are the event organizer. Date, location, cost-of-entry (if any), target audience, etc.

I’m a 32M South Asian guy living and working in Toronto in finance. I’ve been talking with a woman, not sure about her race. I met online for a few days, and we eventually she planned to meet for coffee at Harbourfront Center so we could get to know each other in person.

I went there after work in the evening and even brought her a yellow flower since it had been many years since I’d brought flowers to someone on a first date. Unfortunately, she never showed up and didn’t let me know beforehand.

I messaged her afterward on Snapchat, and she simply apologized.

I’m trying not to take it personally, but honestly, it was disappointing to make the trip, set aside the time, and look forward to meeting someone only to have them not show up.

For people who have been dating in Toronto, is this something you’ve experienced? Is there anything I should be doing differently when arranging first dates? I’d appreciate honest advice, especially from people familiar with the Toronto dating scene.

I’m not looking to bash anyone—I’m genuinely trying to understand how dating works here and hopefully have better experiences going forward.

I am new to Toronto, looking forward to meeting friendly girls to hang out and explore Toronto during the weekend with good food.

I (29F almost 30) have been trying to date in the GTA. Everytime I have a nice date (not super intense but also not boring), the guy seems to lose interest in a few days. The same thing happens with conversations, guys I think I'm having a fun conversation with keep ghosting. Unsure about what I'm doing wrong?? I think I look alright. I dress well, workout, have hobbies and laugh at the guys jokes on dates.

Ps. this has been my experience with dating apps. Would appreciate it if y'all can suggest some alternatives

Where did you go?

What did you do?

Are you planning on going again?