Does anyone else in their late 20’s/30’s/40’s still have no idea what they want to do for a career? For me, mental health issues have taken a toll on me most of my life. I never went to college and struggled bad in high school. I have never really been interested in many things or learned skills because I just didn’t care.

Im 27 now. Struggling daily trying to not feel so awful about myself. I don’t have a career, I work a retail job, between 50-65 or more hours a week and take home between 1600-2000 biweekly. I’m lucky to afford living alone as my rent is affordable and have minimal bills so im able to save a good amount. My needs are met easily and I spend most of my pay on things I want.

I can’t shake this feeling that im a failure never having gone to school and work a retail job. I have high functioning autism and severe anxiety, I know a lot of jobs would not be suitable for me.

I feel terrible about what other people think of me, that im almost 30 still working this job. I just have NO IDEA what else I’d even want to do. I struggle with socializing a lot. I struggle with math and focusing. I can’t drive. I never really wanted to attend college or uni because I just feel like it isn’t for me?

I enjoy some sort of physical work as im doing but my body hurts already. I don’t know what sort of thing I could make a career out of. Sometimes I only want a career just to say I have a career and not feel like a loser.

Everyone tells me that I should have a better job by now, a “real” job and that it isn’t meant to live off of. Even though I’m content and able to save, live comfortably within my means.

I am having a crisis because I feel like people and society look down on me so much for working retail at 27. I just want to know im not alone? This is extremely heavy on my heart and soul. I try thinking of potential things I could pursue but I feel like nothing suits me?

I just know: I want to leave work at work and be done once I clock off. Something with not too much schooling in big classrooms. Not too much socializing. Something where I have specific tasks and am told what to do and do them. Something with routine. But I feel like there is nothing out there for me.

I thought of a mail carrier but you need a license. I get overwhelmed easily with my autism, but maybe I can still try to get it. I want to learn at least. I prefer walking everywhere though. Anyone else feel this way?

I feel paralyzed with shame anxiety guilt pressure overwhelm regret etc and feel pathetic. Everyone I know has gone to college or is in it, my partners family, each one has a respectable career and im here working my little retail job. Im just feeling bad about myself because I feel like I won’t be respected at all, even though I have a kind heart and full of empathy and love. But I feel like that doesn’t matter in this society unless you have a solid career? 😭

I'm 31F and I'm going through a classic “September crisis.”

I've followed the most straightforward path possible: bachelor's degree, master's degree, and then a job related to what I studied. I've been working in market research in Milan for the past 5 years. On paper, I have a good job, but in reality I often work from 9:30 am to 8 pm, for around €1,800 a month, with no paid overtime.

Like many people, I spend pretty much my entire day sitting in front of a computer, although I do recognize how valuable the flexibility of my job is: I work remotely 3 days out of 5, which over the years has allowed me to travel, occasionally work from my hometown in Southern Italy, and spend most of the summer away from Milan.

And this is where my life paradox lies: I have a lot of geographical freedom, but very little freedom when it comes to my time, my mental space (and maybe even physically?).

Three weeks of vacation made me realize just how much corporate work drains me. I had energy, ideas, curiosity, and the desire to create things... Do I really want to keep living like this for another 30 years, waiting until retirement to finally have time for myself?

The strange thing is that I never dreamed of doing the job I do. I already knew this when I was 20: I was unsure about what to study at university precisely because I felt like I didn't have a real calling. I've always loved creating things and I think I have a creative side, but I've never figured out how to turn that into something concrete.

At this point, I'm not even sure I necessarily want a “career.” I'd be perfectly okay with earning less, even working part-time, if that meant having the time and energy to actually live. And I imagine many people, especially in this subreddit, have felt this way at least once in their lives.

So I'm considering pretty much everything: taking a government/public-sector job for a more sustainable work-life balance, completely changing fields and doing something more operational and less sedentary, working abroad, doing something that involves traveling, or gradually building a freelance/creative career.

I'm also fascinated by the idea of becoming a digital nomad: if I have to work on a computer, at least I'd like it to be a tool for freedom rather than a cage. But right now I don't feel like I have enough skills or a large enough network to make that leap without taking a huge risk.

The problem is that I already know how this is going to end: right now I'm rested and full of ideas after my vacation, but in a few weeks work will overwhelm me again and I'll probably let all of this go.

So I'd really like to hear from people who have been through something similar.

Did you make a radical change in your life or career around 30–35? Did you choose to earn less in exchange for more free time? Did you find a path that allowed you to work less, travel more, or simply feel more alive?

Hi guys i'm 27 years old will be 28 in December, i don't know how to start this cause i don't even understand whats going on.

I think i should start with my school years, i was a very clever but too playful, lazy, never paying attention in class, from elementary to junior highschool, my teachers always wrote in my student record book that i was clever but have no effort trying to improve. And i was a bit of a bully, always making joke of other kids and degrading them, one time in junior highschool i was making fun off a guy too much, he ate chalk saying he's committing suicide in front of me, he transfer school after that day.

In highschool i don't sure what happens but i've change my ways, i become more calm and shy. But i still don't give effort to studying and that makes me fail a grade, even when i have the chance to study for a final test to pass grade, i don't even showup. I pass the grade next year but fail another year so i drop out. And i always skip class to go play video games

I've attend 3 trade school since then, always doing good for some months then i got lazy, started skipping class and then have to dropout.

I've got a lot to talk about like childhood, parents, but don't know what to write.

Right now i'm clueless on what to do, i've only got 1 job doing shoe cleaning service, i was doing pretty good but got harassed by manager, and i can't deal with that pressure so i quit after a year, and that was 4 years ago, i've not look for a job since then.

If you have any advice or question feel free to do so, i'm happy to answer cause i think i need to talk with someone.

I don't really know what the point of this post is. I guess I just want to write it somewhere because sometimes it feels like people like me exist at the absolute bottom of the hierarchy.

I'm 26 and I feel mentally defeated and completely done.

Career-wise, I'm currently on my fourth job in about 15 months, and I have only around 13 months of fragmented work experience in my life. I've jumped between completely different domains, and instead of progressing, each switch has basically meant another pay cut. There's no real trajectory or growth. I'm now working yet another job, and this one comes with a ridiculous notice-period problem that could potentially cost me a huge chunk of my savings if I leave.

I'm trying to move into a niche area connected to my field of study, but honestly, I don't even know if I'm capable of getting a relevant role. I keep studying, applying and trying different things, but I feel like I don't have the brains or the profile to actually break into the field. I've sent thousands of messages to people on LinkedIn but responses have been few and far between.

Financially, I'm the sole earning member of my family, but my income is embarrassingly low. I have savings, but not enough to feel secure, and a significant chunk of what I've accumulated is going toward education/upskilling/career-related expenses without any ROI. I don't have a wealthy family or generational wealth to fall back on.

Health-wise, I am completely wrecked. I'm insanely gangly and underweight, have rounded shoulders and flat feet, and I have a genetic heart condition that puts me at high risk of an aortic aneurysm. I'm restricted from lifting heavy weights and strenuous exercise, so the usual advice of “just hit the gym and transform yourself” isn't really an option for me. I'm yet to see the exterior of a gym let alone going in there.

Family-wise, things aren't great either. My parents divorced when I was two. My mother lives in another part of the country with her current husband and two other children. She's a full-time homemaker with limited savings. I live with my grandmother, whose pension is basically keeping the household running. So despite having a pretty shitty financial situation myself, I'm also the person who's expected to earn.

Socially, I barely have anyone. I have a few acquaintances who might remember I exist once in a blue moon. Sometimes I genuinely wonder whether I'm just becoming some sort of recurring life-update segment for people to watch from a distance.

And relationships are basically nonexistent. I've never had a girlfriend, never been on a date, nothing remotely resembling a relationship. Honestly, that's probably the least of my concerns right now, but it's another thing that makes me feel like I've fallen behind everyone else.

I've also spent a ridiculous amount of money on therapy and tried multiple therapists. It just wasn't for me and I don't feel like it fixed anything except for making my wallet lighter and preventing my lowers from sliding down my frail body.

So when I put everything together, career, money, health, family, social life, relationships its as if I've lost at every possible checkpoint.

Sometimes I genuinely think I'm a “loser ab initio” aka a loser from the beginning.

I guess I just wanted to say that people like me exist too. People who aren't secretly successful, attractive, socially connected or “figuring it out.” People who feel like they're at the bottom and don't know how they're supposed to climb out.

I'm still here, though. I don't know where to go from here or what to do next?

I guess what I'm actually asking is: if you were in my position at 26, with a messy career, very little work experience, health limitations, family responsibilities and basically no social life, what would you actually do from here? Where would you start? And is there genuinely a realistic way to turn this around, or am I being delusional thinking I can still build a decent life? For context I'm from India.

TL;dr: 26M, 4th job in 15 months, ~13 months fragmented experience, repeated pay cuts, struggling to break into the domain I'm targeting to get into. Family depends on me financially, health has significant limitations, basically no social/relationship life, and therapy didn't help. Feel completely behind and lost. what would you do if you were in my position?

I’m 22 currently waiting to join the military, I am leaving next month, most likely I will be able to take colleges classes next year or at some point during my contract. While I understand it will be difficult to do both at once, I still would like to pursue a college degree for opportunities after my military career. My question is; is it still worth it pursuing a Computer Science degree?

My goal is working in the Cybersecurity field, I’m open to anything in the Intel field though, what would be the best major to pursue to achieve this?

(I understand nobody can tell me what to do exactly since everyone’s experience is different, but I am just looking for some advice and guidance)

Looking at a career change.

Hello, I wanted to come on here to ask what I should do. I’m a 25 year old roofer and I’ve saved money to go back to school. I was fortunate to be given a chance at my dad’s business. However after 10 years. I’ve become overwhelmed and not satisfied with the work. I decided to explore other career options that have year round work. I’ve taken interest in learning Cybersecurity so I took a look at Comptia/Fullstack courses or the UIC Bootcamp in Chicago. Or also a Physician assistant and maybe a Heavy equipment operator Any other career opportunities I should give a chance are welcomed. Im stuck and have been feeling this way for some time. Thanks!

I’ve been In tech for about four years and my current role is as a solo tech (desktop/help desk support and junior system administrator). I don’t enjoy IT because I feel like it was forced upon me when I was younger and I kept reinforcing it because “I’m ok at it.” I know what I need to do to move up to higher level roles (getting certifications, degree and doing projects) but I don’t have the drive for it because I just don’t care enough.

I want to make a career change but before I jump ship and leave all this behind, am I being unreasonable? Should I suck it up and push through it or should I abandon IT and start fresh with someone that might make me happier?

1/ Let’s start from the beginning.
After high school, I studied Communication for two years.
And honestly? I hated it.

I spent two years studying something I knew I didn’t like, but I pushed through anyway and got my degree.

2/ After that, I decided to change paths and study something I actually cared about: graphic design.
I did a foundation year, then started my third year in a work-study program.

I thought I had finally found my path.
Spoiler: I hadn’t figured everything out yet.

3/ I ended up failing the final exam of that third year.
And eventually, I left that school and decided to apply to another one.

The plan was simple: start over, find a new work-study program, and finally build the career I actually wanted.

4/ Except… my previous company didn’t take me back.
So I had to look for another work-study position.
And I looked.
And looked.
And looked.
For months.
Nothing.

5/ Eventually, I had no choice but to leave the school because I couldn’t afford to pay tuition without a work-study contract.

So once again, I had to put my plans on hold.

6/ I found a job as a receptionist and worked there for two months.
Then the company had construction work done, so I basically spent four months doing… nothing.

Then, toward the end of the year, I went back and worked there for six months straight.

7/ And honestly, that whole experience really messed with my mental health and with my relationship with work.
Because I feel like all I’ve been doing since I graduated is going from one thing I don’t like to another.

8/ And I think that’s what hurts the most.
I don’t want some huge, unrealistic dream.
I just want to go back to school.
I want to study something I actually love.
I want to create.
I want to meet people.
I want to make friends.
I want to feel like I’m actually building a life.

9/ Instead, I’m constantly thinking about money, jobs, school, housing, applications, and whether I can even afford to make the next decision.
And every time I think I’ve found a way forward, there’s another obstacle.

10/ Finding a work-study program feels impossible.
Finding a job I actually enjoy feels impossible.
Going back to school without putting myself in an insane financial situation feels impossible.
And public, affordable schools?
That’s a whole other story.

11/ I know I’m still young. (I’m 23)
I know I have time.
I know I’m not “behind” in some objective way.
But knowing that doesn’t magically make it less frustrating when you watch yourself spend your early twenties trying to figure out how to simply move forward.

Anyway, That’s where I’m at right now…

I know it’s a lot but please read I need advice.

I’m 28 and I’ve been going back and forth on my career for the last 2–3 years. I feel like I’m at the point where I need to stop overthinking everything and just pick a direction.

My dream career has always been firefighting. I got my EMT license last year and have been working as an EMT for about six months. I’m also taking fire-related classes and trying to work toward eventually getting hired by a department.

The problem is, working as an EMT has made me question whether I actually like EMS.
I’ve realized that I really don’t like being bored or sitting around. I’m used to jobs where I’m constantly moving, working with my hands, and physically doing something.

With EMS, there are obviously busy days, but there can also be a lot of downtime. I find myself getting really bored, and at the end of my shifts I feel more mentally drained than physically tired.

I think I’ve realized that I actually prefer being physically exhausted. I’d rather go home completely beat because I worked my ass off than feel mentally drained from being bored or feeling like I didn’t accomplish much.
That makes me nervous because my current plan is to go to paramedic school. I know the burnout rate for medics can be even higher, and I’m already questioning whether I actually enjoy EMS.

My plan isn’t to work as a medic forever. The goal would be to become a firefighter/paramedic and use the medic license to help me get into the fire service.
But getting hired by a fire department in Southern California is extremely competitive and can take years. I’m willing to put in the work, but there’s no guarantee of when I’ll actually get hired.

That’s where the lineman route has started to look really appealing to me.

Before becoming an EMT, I spent about eight years as a painter in the film industry. I was used to working 10–12 hour days, 5–6 days a week, sometimes seven days.
I know I can work hard.
I actually kind of miss that part of the job sometimes. I think I mostly miss the money and feeling like I was actually working toward something.

The biggest problem with the film industry was the lack of stability. When I was working, I could make good money, but layoffs and slow periods made it difficult to have any idea what my future was going to look like.

With the line trade, I’ve been looking into going to lineman school, getting my CDL, signing the groundman books, and applying all over the place.
From what I understand, I could work my ass off for the first few years, travel, take whatever work I can get, and eventually build a very solid career with good pay, benefits, and job security.

The biggest thing holding me back is the lifestyle.
Work-life balance is actually really important to me.
I know the beginning of a lineman career can mean traveling, long hours, storms, being away from home, etc. I’ve already worked crazy hours, so I know I can do it.
I just don’t know if I want to live that lifestyle long-term.
I want to make good money and have a stable career, but I also want to have a life outside of work. I want to eventually buy a house, have a family, spend time with the people I care about, and actually enjoy my time off.

There’s also a lot of pressure on me right now because my girlfriend and I are both 28.
She has a good career in healthcare and does well for herself. We’re getting to the age where buying a house and starting a family are becoming real conversations.
She isn’t necessarily putting pressure on me, but I put a lot of pressure on myself.
I don’t want to start a family while I’m still completely unsure where my career is going to take me.
Technically, we would probably be financially stable with both of us working because she has a good career. But personally, I want to be able to provide for my family and feel like I can pull my own weight.
Right now, I don’t feel like I’m where I want to be financially.

There’s one other thing that has been in the back of my mind when it comes to both career paths: my background.

I had an arrest when I was 14 and another when I was 18.
The one when I was 14 was basically me being stupid and hanging out with the wrong people, and that record was expunged.

The one when I was 18 was a domestic situation involving my parents. I got in the middle trying to stop things from escalating and ended up getting arrested. Long story short, the DA looked into the situation and my mom’s history, and no charges were ever filed.
I’ve never had a conviction, never been to court, and have never had a criminal case actually go forward.

I know fire departments can be extremely thorough with backgrounds, and I also don’t know how something like that would affect getting into the line trade/IBEW, so that’s another thing I’m trying to figure out.

I’m not trying to hide anything. I just want to know how much of an obstacle those things could actually be, especially considering how old I was and that there were no convictions or charges filed.

So right now I feel like I have a few options:

Stick with firefighting.
It’s what I actually want to do, but getting hired could take years.

Go to medic school and continue pursuing fire.

Get my medic license, become more competitive, and keep applying to departments. My concern is that I already don’t absolutely love EMS and I’m worried about burning myself out as a medic. But working as a fire medic I know I’d enjoy just not on a private ambulance

Go to lineman school.
Get my CDL, sign the groundman books, apply everywhere, and try to build a solid career in the line trade.

Pursue both.
Go after the lineman route while continuing to apply for fire departments and see which opportunity comes first.
I feel like I’m overthinking this way too much.
I’m in good physical shape. I’m willing to work hard. I’ve already worked in a demanding trade for eight years, so I know I can handle hard work.
I think my biggest problem is that I’m trying to make the perfect decision when there probably isn’t one.

I want good money, stability, work that I actually enjoy, and a good work-life balance.
I’m willing to sacrifice for a few years if there’s a good payoff at the end. I just don’t want to spend the next 20 years constantly working and miss out on having a life outside of my career.

So if you were 28, had an EMT license, eight years of skilled trade experience, were physically fit, and were in my position, what would you do?
Would you pursue firefighting and use the lineman route as a backup?
Would you go to medic school anyway?
Would you get your CDL and start signing groundman books?
Would you pursue both and see which door opens first?
And how much weight would you personally put on work-life balance when making this decision?
Also, if anyone has experience with fire department backgrounds or the IBEW/line trade, I’d really appreciate some honest input on how those two old arrests with no convictions/charges filed might affect me.
Honestly, I think I’m at the point where I just need someone to tell me to stop being a bitch, pick a direction, and go for it. 😂

I’ve been having an epiphany these past few weeks.

I’ve started kinda forcing myself to dig deep in therapy to the point of crying, cause, a lot of the time I don’t feel good about myself, I don’t feel capable of anything, I don’t feel competent at anything useful, and anything I’m good at or care about like art, literature and history, doesn’t pay the bills and society doesn’t care. I’m burnt out of my shitty office job im not going anywhere in that company

I hear my father’s voice in my head anytime I mess up about how I’m a bull in a china shop, how everything would be fine if I had some more finesse about myself. Hounding me about it all my life, like his shit don’t stink. Then like cause of him I keep questions everything I do cause I wanna be a good man I don’t wanna be anything like my dad I wanna be the man he never could be.

When I’m honest with myself, I’m terrified of taking any steps, cause I don’t think I’m good enough, I keep using my traumas from last year my dad getting arrested and learning he’s a monster, and my ex’s treatment of me as an excuse as evidence that I’m not good enough. I feel like I could be using it as an excuse to not do anything about it.

I’m sick and tired of being fucking scare of everything and change, I’m sick of not sticking to routines. I feel lost, and pointless, and I want to change cause there’s gotta be something useful im good at that would make me money. I’m fucking terrified, but I know I can’t find out if I’m good enough for anything if I don’t try.
It’s just I feel so pointless, and not good enough, like I should be grateful for my station in life and just accept it.

The office job I work, I’m not going anywhere I’m checked out, aside from the money, I’m here for the insurance the flexible schedule, and I get to listen to audio books all day.

Speaking with my therapist and a couple of friends, I’ve told them about how, in this point in my life, with the time I have, and the debt from stupid decisions I’ve made, what’s best for me is to find a 2 year course or cert, that helps me make more money than I do now, and hopefully later actually pursue my passions.

Cause, I don’t have the money to go to college and study English or history, cause, I’m not gonna get paid to describe my interpretations of Steinbeck and my fascination with the Mongol empire and cultural exchange.

Since I work in a healthcare company I’m looking at things that, I can see myself doing, and I could utilize my connections.

Radiology Tech and Pharmacy Tech/Management.

I’m looking at these two because, healthcare seems to be safe, both are 2 year programs at my local CC that I feel will be affordable.
My passion is not healthcare however, I do like to help people, I do give a shit about people. It’s one of the few things I feel competent in, is giving a shit.

My friend said he could see me as a nurse but, after taking care of my grandmother while living with us. I’ve got the patience and the compassion I do not have the stomach, for bodily fluids and anything related to pricking.

I’m also considering paralegal AS cause it’s a similar length program, that has elements I’m interested in like writing, and researching also could dabble into history in a way.

I’m also open to trades because I like how machines work, however, i live in Florida and prolly will be here for awhile, and i don’t do well in the heat, i sweat excessively even just taking out the garbage.

I just do be honest i don’t know if i can do any of this i know i wont know until i do anything about it, but im terrified cause im not the best student. I love to learn, i love to read, i wasnt good in school. Dogshit at math. I only passed cause the teacher pitied me cause she saw I was trying.

I had a 2.3 gpa.

My strengths and what I do care about are humanities, literature, history, art.
I’m scared also I’ll get a taste of learning more and putting work into a history class or something and hate myself, for not pursing my passion. I don’t know what job I could do, but I’d love to do something in History, Anthropology or Archeology but I’m poor. I already have credit card debt from stupid decisions I feel even talking about.

I don’t know how to believe in myself, everyone says that’s what I need but, it’s so goddamn hard, weirdly enough, I’m more scared of blinking and being 30 and nothing having changed than I am of failure. I feel like I have potential for something but I also don’t feel like I’m made for society, or it doesn’t agree with my values or what I’m good at.

I am entering 11 grade, which is the last in my country. I dont know what to do in my life, why do I need education and job. My sister graduated from schol for given kids This school offers an IB program, which has ensured through its efforts. Nowadays she studying abroad with full ride scholarship. I am really proud and always only looking up to her. IIn sixth grade, I also tried to get in, but I didn't pass the exam, even though my mom paid for a tutor. I think that sealed my fate. Afterward, of course, I tried applying to other schools and programs, but I couldn't get in anywhere, and that went on until eleventh grade. Eventually, my mom couldn't afford tutors, and I stopped doing anything. I studied on my own, but I never achieved the results I needed. I am very ashamed that I am constantly useless and the money I spend does not produce results. She insists that I go to medical school, but I don’t think I can handle it either academically or psychologically. I give up on idea studying abroad, but its also hard to pass local exam. My mom says that the best university in my country is bare minimum and its not really hard to pass.I study well at school, my GPA is 5.0/5.0, so maybe thats why she expects scholaship. the local exam is not based on our curriculum. She always says that we cant afford the tuition, but if I go to med school she will pay tuition. I dont understand her and said that I dont wanna be a doctor but she still insist on that. Then I started looking for tutor again, but its still not affordable for my family. My parents are divorced and my father doesn't have stable salary. My mother works at local hospital and mostly working at night shifts,so her health is pretty bad. Now she decided to work less so her wage will be smaller as well. Beside me I have younger sister with asthma and usually my mom cares about her more. I don't know what to do, Im not sure if i need education but its not acceptable in my family and I cant study at community college cuz it would be shame for my mother. Maybe I am exaggerating or smth, but i always feel more miserable compared to my school friend, whose parents could afford pricey courses and my sister who basically the best at everything. Every time I think that nothing will change with me if I dont pass, but i am too scared to take my life. I am not sure how will my parents and sibling react and a lot what if. Sorry english is not my first language, so it might contain mistakes

…except I’m a 27 y old woman.

I think I’ve hit rock bottom. I started off strong, after university I landed an internship at the White House and accumulated a lot of really cool contacts that offered me jobs in DC, did I take them? No. I moved back home with my parents.

Then, at 25, I was able to move abroad to Japan on the JET Program and I did that for 1.5 years before I suffered a mental health crisis and had to come back to the States. Now I’m 27, I can’t find a job, I’m working at a supermarket and again, living back home with my parents.

I had it all at one point, in Japan I had my own apartment, car, friends, I was traveling- life was great. Now, I have nothing. I have nothing to show for my age: no savings, car, career, or even a relationship.

I’m not here to throw a pity party but I’m just reflecting on how I had the opportunity to become something great and I let it slip through my fingers. My lack of confidence and inability to network properly is what led me to working minimum wage at my local grocery store in my home town. I have no one to blame but myself. I feel lost and confused about what comes next. I don’t even know how to pivot back into my career path if I wanted to.

I’m 29 and from Mexico. I participated in a social program that helps NEETs find jobs, and I was employed for a year as an administrative assistant, but now I’m unemployed after 1 year and 5 months, and I need to find a job that doesn’t require a bachelor’s degree and isn’t too demanding. I earned a bachelor’s degree, but I consider it useless. So I don’t know what to put for that year and 5 months when I didn’t do anything. I don’t even know what skills to list—I’m useless.

I have autism, undiagnosed ocd and misophonia but i have them. Im with somebody at the moment but im so unsure on it. Like i always thought of it as a tricky situation to explain. I dont know its like all my life i wanted somebody and now i have somebody i miss being single but im trapped...its like i dont feel attracted either but i feel attached and i cant lose them either otherwise my life will be so depressed without them. But i want to be single as well but the thought of them finding somebody new i cant deal with because i want them at the same time.

Then theres a job god i have no idea what i want to do im 20 and i know its young but im honestly terrified to be honest. I dont have a job the most i got was selling stuff on vinted. But i feel i have no meaning to life which then makes me feel depressed and feel horrible about myself. I get so jealous of singers, famoud people that know and are on their path. Actors. Writers. Story tellers. Painters. I was born without any sort of thought knowing who i wanted to become. I have loved animals since i was younger and went to college got functional skills in english but assuming failed maths, not my strong point at all. I got level one i aasume in animal care but i feel as if i dont want a job in that path anymore. Ive thought about acting as i love roleplaying on ai chats. I cant voice act and id have high anxiety doing it but i dont know acting is what im drawn to at the moment. Or acrobat in a circus. Something for hours on end thatll make me see joy not depression. I want ro get a therapist to see if they help me. I also hate how i look and im pretty sure im gender dysphoria. I also hate my voice and name basically everything. I just dont like that i was born because it doesnt seem like i have reason for it. I mean i want to make a life for myself but i dont know how. I looked into couriers for uber and all but i need a bike which i dont have. And i wouldnt be able to travel for long periods of time without getting tired. I also used to habe an hour glass shape which changed when all the stress got to me...i want my life back....

Hello. First time posting on this sub as I've recently hit a new low and am struggling to find a way out of my current depressive slump. I'm lost and overwhelmed on what to do. For context, I am 27 years old. I will be 28 in less than 5 months and currently live with my parents. I have ADHD, Autism, depression, anxiety, and CPTSD.

I desperately wanted a way out of my sucky front desk reception job at a nursing facility I'd worked for 1.5 years that paid 16/hr whilst I endured abuse and exploitation from not only the company but the clients I served. My breaking point was them cutting my hours and dropping my health insurance so I didn't have access to my medication or my therapist for over 7 months.

My new job involved me providing behavioral therapy for autistic kids. I was enthused in the beginning since I felt I would be helping kids learn and grow rather than helping old seniors die, but I didn't see any real path for me there other than out of the previous job that was sucking my soul out.

And then my mom tried to take her own life, which did a considerable number on my mental health.

I eventually became overwhelmed and suffered a breakdown. I couldn't sleep a whole night and could barely eat because I had been ruminating and dreading my future up until that point and I just couldn't go through with it. I had called the crisis hotline for the first time in years (twice) because the mental pain was unbearable. I'm still feeling low afterwards.

I have friends but no relationships. I had befriended someone who I ran into while on my nature walks smoking weed and avoiding responsibilities. He had moved to Portland OR with a career opportunity after a recent divorce of 8 years. He told me that he thought I was one of the coolest dudes he'd ever met and wanted me to hang with him in Portland when he moved there. We are currently long distance though I did fly to hang with him there last April and still have aspirations to move there though I have no earthly idea how.

I did recently lose one of my best friends last April: our cat of 14 years. He'd lived a long, good life sitting around eating and sleeping.

I have no interest in getting married or having kids but I do want to experience a relationship just to see what it feels like though I like my times alone. Same goes for sex: I find it uncomfortable and gross and I'd probably hate it but can't just go through life not having tried it at least once.

Really I just want to be alone in an apartment where I can have a stable job, do art and be able to handle myself whilst hanging with friends on the weekends. The reason I had to move back with my folks after graduation was that I was mentally spiraling HARD but my therapist and my family believe that I have grown considerably since then. But I still feel like a child in a grown man's body most of the time, ignorant of how the real world works.

I am currently unemployed. I have no idea what I want to do for a career and I feel like I wasted a majority of my 20's working dead-end jobs and pursuing a useless communications degree that has left me 40k in debt. Tbf, the only degree majors I had any real interest in could be considered "useless" i.e. history, english, film, art, etc. I had so many ideas of what I wanted to be in life that I simply couldn't stick to just one, so I went the safe route. I always wanted to become a big celebrity who "made their mark" on the world, writing a screenplay/novel/comic but I have little to no ambition to achieve that. I don't even think I could handle it or even "like" it. I just want to have a more interesting life other than this.

I only just started rekindling an interest in portrait drawing a few years ago, making sketches for the residents at the front desk to pass the time. I only did one hastily made booth at an art festival my sister hosted where I only sold 1 print and 1 commission. I've recently made and printed business cards from Canva and have been selling my portraits to people at bars during karaoke night but it is in no way at a level where I can make a living off of it. The ones I post on my insta can't break 7 likes. I did also want to start a YouTube channel but the self-doubt and feeling of being behind are really getting to me.

I am currently job searching with a rainy day fund that will only last me 10-12 months depending on how I spend it but I really want to move out of my parents place and get on with my life and meet my friend in Portland, make art and see the art scene. Meanwhile, I'm just watching the world outside burn and leave me behind but that really should just be a sign for me to spend less time on the internet.

I did significantly cut back on weed and energy drinks since my mom's recent attempt (it was a definite "shit got real" moment for me lol). I haven't bought any in over a month and only smoke with my friends on the weekends during karaoke and I don't and never will drink alcohol.

It would help wonders if I could cut back on the rumination on my past mistakes and constantly comparing myself to others. My sister has her own place with her loving husband and has her own art business and my little sister sells photos she takes at local band concerts, though she currently doesn't make a living off of it.

My dad also helped me get a car so I can find work and freedom farther away from home but that's another expense I have to stress about.

Any advice on how to move forward is greatly appreciated.

I'm 22, currently in my final year of MBBS. For those of you who are not from India, MBBS is a course which leads you to become a doctor. And I don't want to be a doctor anymore. I can't imagine my life in a hospital. If you've read this far, I know you must be wondering why I don't want to be a doctor. Especially when there are lakhs of students desperately trying to get a college every year. I got into this profession because my mum wanted me to be a doctor and now that I saw the ground reality of it, I'm no longer interested in pursuing it. I don't want to spend my life studying, on night duties, with constant stress of exams. I just realised I spent the last 22 years towards one dream which isn't leading me towards the kind of lifestyle I want. I want to travel, I want to have time for myself. I want to explore my hobbies. All this is not happening in medicine for at least the next 10 years. Hence the decision of transitioning.

I want to transition to Healthcare consultancy. I think I'm good at communicating with people and finding solutions to business problems. The problem is, I don't know how to start or to get there. I also don't know if it pays decently enough to leave my medicine career.

I need help from people who are Healthcare consultants who can tell me more about the field and what kind of life it offers. Please help as I've been distressed thinking about my career for a long time.

Long time lurker here. I work in sales and despite a personal record year and a great summer the boss let me know I won’t be considered for a newly announced promotion(AE) and I honestly wouldn’t get any job title change for at least 18 months-2 years. I was very disappointed and it has me considering my options. I never finished school and I’m thinking about going back while working to pursue a degree in psychology and potentially a masters in counseling. I already have 3 years in a business degree but dropped out when I ran out of money at 21.
My questions:
1. Does anyone have only a psychology undergrad? Are there jobs in the field I can use to get experience?
2. How possible is an online masters program while being the breadwinner?

Any advice is welcome.

Hello!!! I am struggling with my research quest to find online colleges/certification courses. I have been saying for YEARS (after having to drop out of college at 19) that I would be going back ASAP. I have a background in warehouses/logistics. I am interested in going to college/getting certs for things related to that, but I also have a general interest in IT and cyber security. I have been recommended SNHU and WGU for college paths, but I am unsure about their reputation.

I am digging through this subreddit as well as reaching out for help!!! TIA!!!!!!

I am lost. I genuinely do not know what I want for myself and cannot envision my future anymore.

Before, if any concerns about what may lay would arise I would just brush it off as 'I am worrying too much' or 'My life has barely started, I am sure something will come up that will finally open my eyes.'

Well, I have delayed this talk with myself for so long, that three months ago I just finished my Alevels and now I am at the pivotal stage of choosing a subject to major in, meaning I just cannot go ahead without laying out what I ACTUALLY WANT.

My mind is a smelting pot of desires, interest and indecisiveness. On one hand, I love almost all things related to physics or AI, where I want to take a subject that is essentially a mix of the two and will allow me to be a jack of all trades kind of guy. I also genuinely do not want to go into academics after uni(Become a professor or a researcher and such)

On the other hand, I feel this deep sense of patriotism in me where I want to study something that will allow me to fix the political, social and environment state of the county.

I know that sounds like a big jump but as ridiculous as it sounds I genuinely want to make it true hence, I also really want to get into environmental engineering that will hopefully allow me to turn the energy of my country green.

But this is, in all fairness a distant and very vague

dream that will require a herculean level of effort to achieve because as soon as a semblance of a goal started to form in my head, I was hit with two massive realizations.

One, was that I would have to worry a lot about my employment immediately after I finished my uni and if my degree was obsolete/really niche, no company/people would want to hire me and environmental engineering, apparently poses this risk.

And secondly, I need to study abroad to actually get a decent learning in a scientific field because my own country's higher education is genuinely not up to par with the modern world right now and my dad kind of made it clear to me that it would be impossible for me to go outside without a full scholarship.

So now, I am stuck at this weird intersection where I genuinely have no idea on what my next step should be. Some subjects I have actually come to like are computational engineering, robotics and mechatronics but again I am concerned about employment, scholarships and basically the gap year I am taking right now and whether or not I will be accepted by a good uni.(Also I do apologize for my bad english as it is not my first language)

So, for the love of God someone please help me.

Hi. I am sorry this is so long but it’s needed I think. I don’t know how to start making a decision about what to do. Like I can make a good pros and cons list but how do I actually add all the factors up and decide. Especially when I don’t even know some factors like having a job in one of the cities or getting into the phd program. ( I will expand on this later)

To start off, I am 23 and I just graduated with my masters in computer science. I currently have a job and it is somewhat doing what I like but it is working for the government. There’s good things and bad things about that because of job security and the fact I’ve been here for two years so I feel comfortable but also the pay. I also really don’t like the city where I am working as I went to school here and it kinda just makes me miss college with everyone gone and not being in classes anymore. I know of a couple of options but I don’t know if there’s more/how to decide which option to start with.

1. Stay at current job
2. Low pay
3. Gotten good at what I do
4. Somewhat like it
5. Don’t like the city I’m in though
6. Government benefits
7. Get a phd
8. What would I even study
9. Would need financial aid
10. Don’t have any connections to the school I want to go to and it’s more competitive so idk if I would even get in
11. Apply for jobs in home town
12. Get to be with my friends
13. Stuck probably for a long time in a place I don’t want to live in forever
14. Have been applying and haven’t even gotten anything
15. Could do space coast jobs
16. Possibly free rent because I could live at home but I don’t have the best relationship with my parents so idk if I could even do that
17. Apply for jobs in dream city
18. Have been applying but nothing
19. I would be moving alone to a new city
20. I genuinely think my overall mood would improve being here though. But I only think this because I visit like twice a year but that is technically vacation so idk if it would actually

Some things that have been being factored into this decision process is that I really like money, and I wanted a high paying job which is why I originally went into computer science. lol. My current job is low code and is a little bit harder to integrate with AI so there’s a small part of me that thinks it may be easier to find jobs doing this specifically then other software development stuff. I think I want like more advanced software dev stuff but that’s the kind of coding that is basically getting overwritten and the jobs for it are being turned into ai managers. I think I like school. At times it stresses me out but I think I overall really like learning new things. I don’t even know what I would want to research. I did a project for my masters instead of research so I don’t have anything to expand on and I think I would do like ai and software dev interactions or learning and technology efficiency or like human computer interaction but idk if I would want to do a whole thesis on it.

Beyond this and more in depth I also don’t know what I want to do within computer science. I know I want software engineering, I like the whole process, requirements dev and maintenance. But idk what type and idk if I really even like it enough to choose that over something that could make me more money, like hypothetically specializing in configuring a specific solution.

I guess I am mainly looking for advice on how to start deciding but I would love any input. Thank you :)

I’m 43, a single mom, and I feel like I’m in this really weird in-between part of life.

I live in a small West Texas town and I feel stuck here. I still have a 15-year-old son at home, so I can’t just take off and completely start over tomorrow, but I also know I don’t want to stay here forever.

My daughter is 19 now, and I keep thinking about how fast the next few years are going to go. I feel like I need to start figuring out what I want my own life to look like too.

The problem is…I seriously don’t know.

I lived in California for about two years and it wasn’t for me. Way too big, too crowded, too much traffic, just not my pace.

I absolutely love New Mexico and Colorado. I love mountains, open space, little towns, rivers, hot springs, scenic drives, all of that.

But I also want to try places that feel totally different. Florida has been on my mind a lot lately. Maybe somewhere with springs, beaches, smaller coastal towns, or just a completely different kind of scenery and lifestyle.

I’ve also traveled internationally some and loved Italy, Norway, and London. I think traveling made me realize how much I really do love experiencing different places and cultures and ways of living.

Career-wise, I’m kind of all over the place too.

I taught middle school science for more than 10 years. I also have experience in marketing, sales, social media, business development, and photography.

And I think that’s part of my problem. I know how to do a lot of different things, but I don’t know what I actually want to do anymore.

I don’t really feel pulled back toward a traditional classroom. I’m also not sure I want another traditional 9-5.

I keep wondering if there’s some job or career I haven’t thought of yet that would fit better — something remote, creative, seasonal, travel-related, outdoorsy, educational, community based, freelance, whatever.

I’ve thought about things like remote marketing, photography, tutoring, online teaching, travel content, tourism, parks, seasonal jobs, helping small businesses, or just building some combination of things that lets me move around more.

I’ve even thought about turning my Chevy Traverse into a basic camper setup and just starting with smaller trips whenever I can, then maybe traveling more once my son is older.

I love small towns, mountains, rivers you can float, hot springs, beaches, art, music, history, local coffee shops, weird roadside places, cemeteries, culture, and places that actually have some personality.

I’m really not looking for luxury or some perfect Instagram travel life.

I just want to see things.

I want to go places I’ve never been.

I want to figure out where I feel good.

And I want to figure out what kind of work and life I actually want for the next half of my life.

So I guess my questions are:

Where would you go if you were me?

What places should I try that I might not be thinking of?

If you love New Mexico and Colorado, what other places have that same kind of feel?

What careers would you suggest for someone with a background in teaching science, marketing, sales, and photography who wants more freedom?

And has anyone else hit their 40s and just realized they genuinely have no idea what they want next?

I feel like I spent a lot of years doing what I was supposed to do.

Now I kind of want to see what else is out there.I think this version will get better Reddit responses because it sounds more like a real person asking for perspective instead of a perfectly polished post.

I need inspiration!

Primarily in content marketing for a tech related firm if that makes a difference

I have the option to move back to my home state and take on a mid level IT job with a company and team I’ve worked with before. The other option I currently see for myself is staying in my home state and attempting to follow a human services career pathway.

The IT job offers familiarity in work responsibilities, location, and coworkers, and a higher job title than I’ve previously had. However I’d have to move away from family and would be mostly alone, except two old friends. I recently quit my IT job due to relationship and workplace circumstances, and I’ve always questioned if IT was for me. I don’t have a passion for continuing my education and going for certifications and suffer a lot of imposter syndrome.

This IT opportunity is time limited so I have to be ready to make a decision soon.

I’ve applied for local human services positions within government, and the prospect of helping people access services or navigate complex systems is appealing to me. I’d also get to stay with my family in a state I prefer. However, at this time they are just applications, no word on possible interviews yet. I’ve also spoken to friends working for these government entities and been warned of looming layoffs and restructuring in 2027, so they may not be stable long term.

I’m stuck at a crossroads. Do I finally throw in the towel with IT and pursue a path I’m excited about, but don’t have experience with? Or do I learn to find fulfillment outside of work, take the option with more money, the devil I know, but navigate it alone without family nearby.

Each has pros and cons, and major risks. Any insight is appreciated.

Thank you for your time.