First time foster

[u/l0st_in_a_labyrinth]

I am a first time kitten foster for 4 small kittens that were found under our house in the crawlspace. They were very sick when we found them. My husband and I nursed them back to health and have been taking care of them for around 4 months. We are going through a rescue to get them adopted to their forever homes.

In this time, we’ve become very attached to them and decided to keep 2 of them. Unfortunately, keeping all 4 is just not an option right now, even though I wish we could. They’re truly some of the best kittens I’ve ever met in my life.

My question is, how do y’all cope with sending these foster kittens to strangers not knowing what their home life will be like or if they will be loved and treated kindly?? I’ve read too many horror stories about fosters being returned in terrible condition and scared. I love these babies so much and it would break my heart if something bad happened to them but I know it’s ultimately out of my control since we can’t keep them.

[u/Comfortable_Art_3303]

Emotionally, I tell myself they deserve to be someone's favorite cat instead of my Nth cat.

Practically, the people at the rescue are just as invested in making sure these cats go to good homes as you are, and have more time and resources to devote to vetting adopters.

You're doing the right thing on all counts for the cats, both in helping them and in being realistic with how many you can keep.

[u/NerveIndependent9008]

I'm sure as foster carers we all have the same fears. We trust our rescue chooses the right people for their babies.

[u/Redpantsrule]

I’m a fairly new foster. We’re on our 5th litter of bottle fed babies. Every single time I consider keeping 2 but so far, no foster fails. I have 3 adult cats and a 80 lb dog so space is limited as is my pocketbook. I’ve felt guilty every single time bc I’m the only mom they remember as most were about a week old when we got them. Ive cried every single time after I let them go, and the first few days is sad as i have time on my hands and the house is too quiet.

What has helped me is that in the past, all were adopted thru the local humane society, which means once they were ready, I’d take them to our local petstore ftom 11:30-4 on Sat & Sun for Adoption Days. Some foster parents just drop them off but I refused to leave, as I want to meet the new family and be able to say goodbye. Our HS screens new
owners very thoroughly and has quite a few conditions to meet, so much that even my young adult daughter wouldnt pass the screening on her own yet shes a 50-50 partner with me when fostering. Mainly bc she works part time and is in colkege, so her schedule varies, and is sometimes gone 10 hours a day.

Best indicator of future behavior is past behavior so it helps knowing the HS society checks with current and previous vets to make sure all vaccines were given and no signs of abuse. Ive built a relationship with the HS volunteers and am confident that if I got a bad vibe about someone, they’d find a reason to reject the applications. I let the new owners know how much my babies are loved, and asked if they would stay in touch with pictures abd updates. I give them my number and tell them to call me any day or time, if they run into any issues and need advice. So far, all have stayed in touch. I put the babies estimated birthdate in my calendar and plan on sending a “Happy Birthday” every year at that time. No doubt some communications will fall off eventually, but it gives me peace of mind now. Ask that if they find they need to surrender them, even if its 10 years from now, to please reach out to me first. Ive also been contacted to care for one family when they went on vacation.

What I’m finding is that as soon as my babies get adopted. someone us calling me to see if I can care for neonatal who arent with their Mom. I know that if I ever foster fail, I wont be able to tale on more bottle fed babies. Theres only a few volunterrs in our area that know how and Im so glad I dont have to say “no.”