r/funny 2d ago

[OC] you know what to do

Post image
9.4k Upvotes

90 comments sorted by

797

u/katiei10002 2d ago

Bro, you are giving them new video ideas.

104

u/SteveLouise 2d ago

Sauce?

22

u/Justhe3guy 1d ago

Those lemon stealing…

8

u/xion_gg 1d ago

....whores?

4

u/GANDORF57 1d ago

This would cost you extra at The House of the Golden Showers in New Orleans.

1

u/mrherben 17h ago

Michael here!

729

u/10CrackCommando 2d ago

In case anyone doesn't get it , there is the myth that peeing one someone's jellyfish sting apparently helps. The myth comes from the idea that ammonia in urine neutralizes the venom, but urine is mostly water and lacks enough ammonia to help.

336

u/JohnnyEagleClaw 2d ago

But still okay to piss on them tho, yes? 🤷‍♂️

289

u/Andeol57 2d ago

Not really. You should rinse the area with saltwater. And since the sea is right here, you have exactly what you need on hand (and if the sea is not right here, how the hell did you manage to get walk on a jellyfish?)

113

u/CaptDeathCap 2d ago

Jellyfish sometimes end up far inland due to tornadoes sucking up massive amounts of water and dumping it over land.

163

u/0XIDius 2d ago

Jellyfishnado is my favorite movie franchise

29

u/bigfatfurrytexan 2d ago

Strawberry Jellyfishnado is a house music hit

3

u/VaginaTractor 2d ago

Or a bubble milk tea

3

u/Aethrin1 2d ago

I more a fan of Jellyfish II: JellyStorm Rising

7

u/aydie 2d ago

Same with sharks

2

u/Esternaefil 1d ago

Oh no...

You'll not trick me this time!

Okay, fine. I'll watch them again.

19

u/khinzaw 2d ago

And vinegar if you have access to it.

Saltwater lets you wash it off without triggering more stinging, but vinegar will neutralize the stinging.

1

u/Wikidclowne 1d ago

Maybe it fashioned a breathing apparatus of some kind with kelp. And they are establishing a beach head to aggressively hunt you and your family.

65

u/aksdb 2d ago

If you find someone stung by a jellyfish, you can do to them whatever you want. That’s the rule and also what truly hurts about this.

3

u/JohnnyEagleClaw 2d ago

I just want to be part of the solution 😎

21

u/onarainyafternoon 2d ago

Absolutely yes. You should rinse the area with piss. And since the piss is right there, you have exactly what you need on hand (and if the piss is not right here, how the hell did you manage to get a wetworker?)

3

u/JohnnyEagleClaw 2d ago

Thank you kind stranger, for you candor 🤙🏽

1

u/astromech_dj 1d ago

With consent.

1

u/RiffyWammel 1d ago

Be proactive, just go to the beach and piss on random people on the off chance they might get stung- they'll thank you for it. #trustmebro

28

u/AutumnsRevenge 2d ago

I have a friend who believed it actually works. He has a story about his dad peeing on him in Mexico. I still remember the look on his face when I told him the truth.

9

u/IHatePeople79 2d ago

I would need so many fucking showers if that happened to me

15

u/Justin__D 2d ago

He got a shower.

A golden shower.

5

u/IHatePeople79 1d ago

From dear old pop

12

u/Abyssal_Groot 2d ago

That's the accurate version. Cleaned up slightly: Close, but two things. Fresh urine really doesn't have much ammonia --- it's mostly urea, which only breaks down into ammonia after bacteria work on it for a few days. More importantly, ammonia isn't a remedy anyway, so the myth fails at both ends.

In fact, peeing on a sting can backfire: urine is mostly fresh water. It changes the salt concentration around the undischarged nematocysts still sitting on your skin, which triggers them and causes more stinging.

Rinse with seawater instead, and depending on the species, douse with vinegar.

9

u/PatHeist 1d ago

I remember seeing Scary Spice pee on Bear Grylls on TV

1

u/Still-Program-2287 1d ago

What? Link me

6

u/PatHeist 1d ago

2

u/AJ_Dali 1d ago

Don't let your dreams be dreams. Bear didn't.

22

u/RoodnyInc 2d ago

Noted you need multiple people to have enough ammonia to make it work

5

u/Ilikeyounott 2d ago

Just need to distill it first!

2

u/TuckerCarlsonsOhface 2d ago

“I know! You construct a still. Look around you. Can you form some sort of rudimentary lathe?”

3

u/Zanian19 1d ago

And the myth was made common by an episode of Friends of all things

2

u/Mykmyk 2d ago

Urine, the universal solvent

2

u/og_menace2society 1d ago

I always thought it was cause of the warmth of the pee

toxins break down at higher temperatures which is why you feel relief? idk got stung by a stingray once on my foot and on the drive home had the heaters blasting, felt better

4

u/elconquistador1985 1d ago

Pee is body temperature. It's not "hot", even though your core temperature is probably warmer than your hands.

He's does help with inflammation, though. So heat may help some things.

1

u/og_menace2society 1d ago

warmer than the ocean temp the toxins thrive in, im not advocating for it just sharing that the 'heat' provided the relief not something in the chemical composition of urine

192

u/Snowbank_Lake 2d ago

I love the thought that the man went out and found someone willing to put on a jellyfish costume before checking that his lady was interested. Like, is the other guy a for-hire sexy jellyfish?

98

u/Drafo7 2d ago

Plot twist: her saying no is part of the roleplay. His real kink is pretending to die of a jellyfish sting after someone refuses to pee on it.

38

u/247stonerbro 2d ago

You guys keep telling me not to kink shame but I'm starting to find it hard ..

34

u/jrodp1 2d ago

If you're finding it... hard. It's probably your kink.

3

u/Cross_22 2d ago

There's probably an app for that.

1

u/SenoraIsl 1d ago

Plot twist: the jellyfish pisses on him while his wife watches....

31

u/Recentstranger 2d ago

Sting him again

62

u/Queen_Cheetah 2d ago

PSA: DO NOT DO THIS IRL. The chemical makeup of urine can actually trigger more nematocysts (the 'stinging' cells from a jellyfish attack) to activate; thereby releasing more venom into the wound.

This is a harmful myth that needs to be eradicated!

17

u/LostMyKeyboard 2d ago

Don't threaten me with a good time.

17

u/cheapdrinks 2d ago

Ok but let's say you haven't been stung by a jellyfish. How safe is it actually to let a random girl pee on you?

0

u/Queen_Cheetah 2d ago edited 2d ago

I mean, urine itself is technically sterile, so it depends on the health of the person in question.

...if I wasn't already on a watch list somewhere, I'm willing to bet I am now.

11

u/cheapdrinks 2d ago

So let's say the girl is just totally random with questionable/unknown health status and through some series of unlikely events ends up peeing on you after receiving financial compensation. Is there anything you could catch from that, especially if it accidentally goes in your mouth and you swallow by accident. Just a hypothetical thought experiment. I'm not sure if it matters but the girl in question is Chinese.

5

u/Queen_Cheetah 2d ago

...if you weren't already on a watch list somewhere...

12

u/cheapdrinks 2d ago

God forbid a man has hobbies

9

u/2_short_Plancks 1d ago

Urine is definitely not sterile, that's another myth in itself.

Having said that, the common types of pee play are perfectly fine. When you're having sex you're in that area, there's a good chance you're encountering some amount of pee at some point anyway.

2

u/dpman48 1d ago

I’m 99% sure people say urine is sterile only because patches o’hoolihan said it in dodgeball: a true underdog story

8

u/urson_black 2d ago

This is why you discuss it BEFORE!

7

u/Hakuraze 2d ago

"Disengage safety protocols, and run program!"

4

u/redtop22 1d ago

Ahahahahaha what a reference!

15

u/Zephreyt 2d ago

So that’s the garbanzo I ordered

5

u/Fit-Mud-5682 2d ago

Salt water might be better but am not a marine biologist so take it with a grain of salt

1

u/Frys_Lower_Horn 1d ago

Can I take it with a grain of pee?

3

u/sascha_nightingale 1d ago

You mean pour salt water over the sight of the sting, and pop a benadryl?

2

u/darkhorse21980 2d ago

Sometimes I still hear the screams. "DO IT! DO IT!!"

2

u/Malt129 1d ago

I like how they're both smiling

6

u/zmbslyr 2d ago

A Twonks that made me chortle? That’s new.

0

u/Asteroth6 2d ago

A good sensible chuckle?

2

u/glitchgamerX 1d ago

If I have to, I'd pee on any one of you.

1

u/21083717 2d ago

Looks like the golden shower video from Russia, when he was much thinner.

1

u/RiotWithin 2d ago

It was the P Video, but the P wasn't the P we thought it was....

1

u/SarcastiQuack 1d ago

Can’t wait for this to end up on r/ExplainTheJoke

1

u/Grotbagsthewonderful 1d ago

It took me a few seconds but I got there 🤣.

1

u/cam-san 20h ago

Can't wait to see this one on r/PeterExplainsTheJoke

1

u/rykovmail 2d ago

Chef kiss.jpg

2

u/Capable-Astronaut199 2d ago

Kiss in Swedish is pee ...