r/funny • u/MutedJuggernaut3042 • 1d ago

German maritime rescue kit

Post image
100 Upvotes

90% Upvoted

20 comments sorted by

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36

u/ZDHELIX 1d ago

Works so well it kept his cigar dry

10

u/Nubeel 1d ago

Duh. Do you want nicotine cravings while drifting at sea? That would suck balls.

35

u/Themris 1d ago

Just because you're drowning doesn't mean you need to stop looking dapper.

19

u/MyPigWhistles 23h ago

Don't worry young lad, nobody is going to drown here! Thanks to the pantentierter Universal-Reise-, Schiffs- und Rettungskoffer!

13

u/SyncVir 1d ago

Fuck, If only Jack knew

3

u/ux3l 16h ago

He was poor and didn't even have a regular suitcase with him IIRC.

9

u/WakaWaka_ 1d ago

Old school inner tube, hope there's a lazy river around.

4

u/Jeptic 1d ago

AKA the hold 'im steady for the sharks

6

u/Bealzebubbles 23h ago

I love how he looks only mildly put off by the shipwreck that almost killed him.

3

u/istg 1d ago

Anyone able to translate if it's worth it?

15

u/Themris 1d ago

"as Fig.2 demonstrates, over the hips, after which one can jump into the water safely. The suitcase has a carrying capacity of at least 150kg; Hands and feet are not inhibited at all when using he device as described. The tests that were undertaken with this unusual life raft achieved good results; even

Universal travel, ship, and saving suitcase"

3

u/Plyta121 22h ago

G'day to you sir floats away

4

u/GhostDieM 1d ago

The germans, practical as ever, came prepared with pre-made coffins

2

u/ToastAndASideOfToast 20h ago

And I do my little turn on the catwalk

1

u/Narcess 7h ago

"1, cut a hole in a box
2, put your junk in that box
3, make her open the box
And that's the way you do it"

1

u/Single_with_two_Cats 2h ago

Vorsprung durch Technik.

0

u/Double_Distribution8 20h ago

You know, that was the time I was most frightened. Waiting for my turn.

I'll never put on a German maritime rescue kit again.