She makes up exercises so that she can show half her bewbs… she has not 1 ounce of muscle in her calves… then she models her bras… GAG… 🤢

Heidi’s Lane Podcast Recap. Ep 96. Magnesium Drunk at Midnight; I’m Not Who you Think I Am; My Year of YES; and M is FINALLY Home.

Heidi: Podcasting right now is a bad idea. I did magnesium before starting this, I felt it right away. Holy f*ck this is a bad idea. It’s like midnight. I’m slap happy

Ryan: Let’s recap what we’ve done today. We’ve spent 7 hours in the car.

H: Babe-ah. I hope everyone is watching this because we’re in Ryan’s living room. There are surf pictures behind us, which is really great. Why are the fuzzy things on our mics?

R: It’s a wind screen, and you need them.

H: I’m really tired.

R: Before I came along you had really high quality podcasts, and now you’re like, “Let’s record this on a cell phone in the car.”

H: I usually have my wits about me when I record these.

R: Can we address that you’ve lost 10 or 15.000 followers since you started posting about me?

H: I’ll tell you why. Dun Dun Dunnnn. When Dave passed away I got like 50.000 new followers. I did not like it. What a horrible reason to follow someone. That’s the reason I didn’t post for quite a while after he passed. It felt like that would be taking advantage of something really unfortunate and really painful for me. I make money from my brand partnerships, and I’ve been very transparent about them since Dave died. I don’t make money on my challenges. We all know that. You’ve seen my books.

R: You break even

H: A lot of people think I make money on them. I don’t make money on my challenges or my master minds. I actually spend more than I bring in. I only work with brands that I love. Everytime you click on my ads…

R: You’re feeding C and R. M and M are fine, they can fend for themselves, but C and R need food.

H: It’s true.

R: Everything that you’re sponsored by I’ve actually really loved. I love Factor Meals.

H: And Jones Road Beauty!

R: I love their packaging.

H: Jones Road reached out to me asking me to try their makeup and post about it. I got a contract with them before I tried it. I don’t do that very often. Look at my face. It’s midnight. How do I look?

R: You look radiant, young, glowy, fresh.

H: My face looks flawless. What did people think about my old makeup? It was cakey and orange. When I post them, click the link. I have another partnership with them, too. Their eyeshadow. Where is this podcast going? Jones Road was created by, I don’t know, Bobby Brown. I don’t know. I haven’t done any research on that, but it’s a huge makeup brand. It’s so high quality. I’m not getting paid to say this right now. I should ask them if they want to sponsor my podcast. Dang it. I’m still paying for my podcast.

R: Your business manager is slacking.

H: I don’t have a business manager. I’m going to be trying their eyeshadows, which I hear it removes 10 years from your life.

R: Wait, you’re going to die 10 years earlier? Or you’ll look 10 years younger? Are they poisoning you? I have 6 plants in my home. I’ve named them all. They’re all girls.

H: Hold on, we were talking about Dave and losing followers. They may be leaving because of me. Let’s be honest, I’ve had a lot of men in my life.

R: This is my favorite subject. It’s really entertaining.

H: I think I’m losing all the Dave followers. And think about how much I’ve evolved since I’ve met you. 6 years ago I had just met Dave. I showed you a video of that time. I had been taking steroids. Why is my voice deeper now than it was 6 years ago? Let’s ask ChatGPT. My face looks so good right now. Hashtag Jones Road, not an ad.

R: Have you ever seen Parks and Rec

H: I don’t know any TV shows. What were we talking about?

R: I’ve heard that when women, this could be wildly off, but I’ve seen this in real life. When a woman becomes comfortable her voice becomes more natural. When it’s more preformative, it’s higher pitched. It’s more pleasing. My real life experience validates that.

H: Yeah, for sure. I don’t know how to make it higher now. You’ve helped me feel more comfortable in my own skin.

R: You’re like a walking girlfriend meme.

H: There’s so much to talk about today. I had an event today. Thank you JLo Beauty. I ate some incredible food. Ryan drove 2 hours in the wrong direction today.

R: It’s true. I felt so bad.

H: I thought it was the map's fault.

R: You thought your team had entered the wrong address for you.

H: When I got to the event I told them it was your fault.

R: While you were at your event I was going to go visit my friend who has a juice shop. I was mapping it last night

H: Ryan drove me to the juice shop. I was 42 mins late,

R: You started this podcast so you could do life updates, so update us on the event.

H: You’re right. It was okay I was late because I hate mingling with people.

R: I love to small talk and schmooze.

H: I sit there and I’m like, do I put my hand on my hip right now? What does a cool girl do? I’m the nerdiest of nerdy girls.

R: Nobody knows the Clark Kent to your Superman. Only those closest to you know your Jekyll and Hy-di.

H: I’m not fake. Somehow when I’m online it looks like I know what the f8ck I’m doing. I DO know what the f8ck I’m doing. My quirks don’t show up online.

R: When you go to events you put on an amazing little sexy dress. You walk into the room like a supermodel.

H: What color nails should we do?

R: But when we’re at home you put on a backwards baseball cap and you bully me.

H: I’m not a cool girl.

R: We picked up press on nails at the mall today, and we’re going to do them as we talk.

H: My mom would love these, but her nails are bigger than mine.

R: My daughters would love these. Talk more about the event.

H: I didn’t have to mingle. I don’t know where to start. I met the LA Living Magazine. You need to follow Peaceful Barb. You need to manicure me.

R: People do this in the movies.

H: I did her podcast. She reminds me of an older version of me. I love her so much. Her and her daughter’s relationship reminds me of me and M’s relationship. I’m not cool. Barb has great cat humor. You love cats.

R: We’re going to get a cat.

H: Yeah we are. When you met me I had extensions and nails. I put my extensions back in. We love them.

R: I love your extensions.

H: Barb and her daughter have been so sweet to me. If you’ve been following me for a while, I'm at the phase in my life where I have friends. It’s a big deal. If you went to high school with me, most of you weren’t super nice to me.

R: Everyone at Mountain View High School just got called out.

H: I was weird. I looked like I should be cool, but I was actually a book nerd. I was grounded all the time and that made me an easy target. A lot of them still talk bad about me today. I hear about it.

R: You’re very quirky and nerdy.

H: I have a friend who’s mad at me right now and I don’t f&ucking know why! I need to let go of it because it’s not my fault. Listen, the people who pay me money for my events take priority. It’s not about money. If you trust me to guide you, I’m going to take the lead. This woman doesn’t listen to my podcast, but she’s really mad at me and it’s not my fault. I didn’t do anything wrong. We need some scissors for this nail glue. Did you buy your scissors at Walmart?

R: They were from my home when I moved out.

H: I’m in a year of saying Yes, so I said Yes to the JLo thing. I’m lucky to have a boyfriend who lives in CA.

R: How about you’re just grateful to have a boyfriend.

H: What, like I wouldn’t have a boyfriend?

R; Is this enough glue? This is my first nail! Are these acrylic?

H: No, they’re press-ons. I’m over gels and acrylics. This one is a little crooked, so try to make it straight.

R: You put that one on.

H: I’m in a year of Yes. From 2023-2025 I’ve said No. I was in a relationship that didn’t feel inspired or motivated. You need to push back my cuticle. We tried out JLo Beauty products today. You have to hold the nail down for 90 seconds. It was really fun. I sat next to 2 soap stars.

R: In high school I used to watch Days of Our Lives.

H: I sat next to Sammy’s sister, Martha. The other one was on Bold and the Beautiful.

R: My mom used to watch them and me and my friend would watch them with her. Days of Our Lives was our jam.

H: It’s so nice to have a boyfriend who will drive me to LA and sit, and get stuff done, and go to the beach, and then come back and pick me up.

R: I went to Santa Monica and took my shirt off and walked around.

H: Everyone loves it when Ryan takes his shirt off. It’s surprising when you take your shirt off.

R: What do you mean? Do I look chubby? I look like I have a dad bod

H: I mean, yeah, you do.

R: Should I wear tighter clothes?

H: When Ryan takes his shirt off he has the hottest body you’ve ever seen. It’s true, but you’d never know it. I glued my fingers together.

R: Day of Our Lives we had Marlena and John Black, and Sammy and Brady. Maggie and Jennifer Horton. Bo Brady. Kayla Brady.

H: I sat by Martha. It was a big ass cast. I’m not name dropping. People come up to me and say Hi like they know me, but they only know me from online. That happened to me when I met Kendra Wilkinson from Girls Next Door. I felt like I knew her. She was a Playboy Playmate. So I get it. Someone did that to me at the JLo event.

R: Dark nails look really good on you. I feel like you’re packaged in this teeny little dainty Barbie supermodel playboy model body.

H: I don't see myself that way, but thank you.

R: It’s true.

H: I’m really quirky. When I went to bed as a child I was really scared that scorpions would bite me. I slept with socks on my hands and feet. I had so much fear of everything. My fear created my quirks. A lot of them went away when I was with Dave. I felt safe with Dave and I feel safe with you. A guy I didn’t date in 2023 told me I was quirky and that was the first time I realized it. This is not a joke. I’m not sure if I’m allowed to say this, but I think I’m on the spectrum. I have a sadness for people who have worked for me before. I have compassion for them because I see how I showed up. I think I have a little blend of aspergers, but I’m not as smart as most people with aspergers.

R: I don't know how to make a joke about this.

H: It’s true. I’m really smart. I’m book smart.

R: You’re highly intelligent.

H: I am.

R: Did I get fired from my nail job? I like these dark nails. I think people assume things about you because of the way you look.

H: People don’t like me because they don’t know me. It makes me sad. It doesn’t matter.

R: I tell you this all the time. Your exterior is wrapped around a confusing interior.

H: People have an idea of who I am. I recently put out a job application, and I have to be careful to not hire a super fan, because I will let them down. I can outwork everyone on the planet. I need another me to outwork me. Big fans who work for me are always disappointed. They only know the fun online me, not the me that carries a heavy load. The people in my master minds get to know the real me.

R: Yeah, when you look like a supermodel, people don’t realize there are a lot of layers that are very different.

H: I will never ever ever ever ever disappoint someone I’m helping or someone I love, whether it’s my boyfriend or my kids. I’m sure I’ve let down a couple of people, but you know what I’m saying. I feel bad for the guys editing this podcast. I have so much compassion for you.

R: What is this used for?

H: That’s to push cuticles down.

R: Let’s do a craft on every podcast.

H: M just came home, and I’m in LA, and I’m not sad about it. I need to have all 4 kids on the podcast. Sorry Tyler, my editor, you’re going to have to edit that chaos. M got home Saturday, and today is Thursday. I was home Sat-Tues with him, and left on Wednesday to come here. M wanted to make some money, so I’m paying him to watch the kids while I’m here.

R: He doesn’t put up with bullsh!t.

H: There’s something called "Parentification." It’s when a single parent unknowingly puts a child into a parent role. I realized that’s something I did to him. I didn’t have a male dominated voice in my home. I had to be the nurturer and the provider and the discipline. I leaned on M a lot. He’s 6’2” and he’s bossy. It was nice when I could ask him to tell his siblings to do things. I realized on his mission that when we’d talk on the phone I was telling him to do stuff for his siblings and it was making him uncomfortable. I was like, What Am I Doing? He was stressing out a lot on his mission and he didn’t need that, so I stopped. I’m now used to doing it all myself, but I love that M is back and laying down the law. I don’t even have to ask him, he just does. When I’m out of town, R usually calls me to tattle on C, but I’m gone, so I’m paying M to take care of it. I told R to go to M about it. My kids call me more than any other kids on the planet. How lucky am I? One day they won’t and I’ll miss it, just like M and the dirty stairs story. I love having M home. He prays over all our meals. He prays at Cafe Rio. I was going to eat my pork tacos and he didn’t want to eat without praying. I love that. M corrects my kids when they say bad words. I say a lot of bad words. I need to do better. I tell my kids they can say it at home, but not when they’re out. Everyone prepares you for when your kids leave, but no one prepares you for when they come home again. I cried a lot when M left. I flew to Mexico to drop him off and I let it all out at the airport lounge. I sobbed. Crying is rare for me. Emotions are hard for me to feel.

R: You get emotional when people accomplish things.

H: I was so drained the day after M came home. It felt like I had just had a baby.

R: Him unpacking was a 48 hour stress fest. It was more like 72 hours.

H: I have PTSD from him coming home.

R: I do too. M is a hoarder.

H: C had to move out of M’s room. I made C get rid of 90% of his stuff. When M left, I was like, “Good Riddance.” I love you, but… Girl M got her mission call and was going to leave when she got home from Thailand. But then with her kidney stones and stuff, she decided not to go. I thought that when M got home, girl M would be gone and I’d have room for everyone. M had 15 bins to move back in.

R: It was an explosion on every floor of your house.

H: In the end, we gave away 15 huge trashbags to Goodwill. Goodwill is really lucky right now. Having M back is really great. Since M left, R has been very adult-like.

R: R is like a 30 year old.

H: When M came home R became a soft, mushy, cuddly person. Girl M hasn’t changed.

R: I’m girl M’s advocate. I like to fight for girl M.

H: C is the most different since M came home. He became the man of the house and he doesn’t want to go back to being the younger one. I’m like, “Be you, dude.”

R: M is ready to leave. He wants to leave in the next 60 days.

H: You’ve had to stop me from going into Mom-mode a few times. I have 4 kids and a career, and it’s hard to have adult kids at home. I have so much pressure to be all of the things for my older kids. I know I’m a good mom, but I worry if I’m doing it all right. The world will teach him where I left off.

R: The world and his friends are his teachers now.

H: I want the best for my kids. M is almost 22. It’s up to him to decide what’s next in his life.

R: Most of your parental work is done in the mid teens.

H: Don’t make me cry. My parents really modeled wonderful things for us 4 kids. What did I model for my kids that wasn’t healthy? My kids can decide that’s not the way they want to live their lives. I hope they’ll be okay.

R: Kay, who I used to work with told me that raising adult kids is harder than raising little kids.

H: I agree with that 100%. I feel like the kids I had to raise are now the hands that hold me up as I get older. That’s not their job, but that’s how it feels when they carry me through. I feel stress for my older 2.

R: Control goes down and consequences go up. It’s the way life is.

H: I wasn't fit for the world at 18. I was anoxic and bullemic and still wearing socks on my hands.

R: At 18? I thought you wore socks when you were like 6.

H: Girl M is so much farther ahead at 19 then I was.

R: I was just telling my daughter the same thing. Almond nails are too pointy.

H: I’m just tiny and petite.

R: Everything about you is tinier than anyone would imagine.

H: When you first met me you were all, “You are so small.”

R: You were the smallest human being I had ever seen.”

H: I have the smallest head. It’s smaller than R’s. And my ears.

R: You’re miniature.

H: I didn’t realize I was very small until I was 44. But I feel taller than everyone.

R: Should I dress differently? You told me you like me in baggier shirts.

H: I can go through your closet. I like your big shirts, they make your traps look big. We like traps. You were saying that I look small in clothes, but when I put on a bikini I have curves. I look 30 or 40 lbs heavier in a bikini. I have major curves. I feel taller than everyone. Let me bite you.

R: You bite me all the time. It feels very territorial.

H: Why do I want to bite you all the time?

R: You always bite me.

H: It feels good. Your ears are like those sticky hands.

R: I’m going to have huge grandpa ears.

H: How do my nails feel on your ear flaps? What did we talk about today?

R: M, your event, life updates, parenting, we did your nails, body image.

H: I have a perimenopausal episode coming out.

R: We still need to talk about long distance dating. Let’s do Heidi Hearts.

H: Bye guys.

Ya'lllll!!!! This just came across my ads on Instagram! Ryan's doing the ads with Heidi now for transform shakes!! Geeze . Everytime she gets a new man she sucks them into this. Wonder what his % cut is lol

I cannot think of ONE thing that I could possibly pay this shill for any guidance or advice on that’s not illegal, immoral or dysfunctional. What idiots are giving her money?

What attributes will he have? How long will he stick around? Etc. and so forth. 🤪

Let's find out what horrible podcast ideas they could have!

I think this is also when he met Heidi.

Since this has been going on for a couple of years by now, how do we think this dynamic has evolved? Last time IIRC, Heidi Powell is still renting her house from Rachel. Does she pay on time? How do they deal with practical issues on the property? Let us know what you think!

What do you think that she'll do when she's 50 years old?

Let's uncover everything we know or have read between the lines regarding their sudden move to Hudson Valley. Why leave Los Angeles in such haste when that's all she's been talking about? Do they still own the house there?

Speculations are welcome, too.

Good meowning to all the Boo Thangs! Let's start today with ideas for what Rachel Hollis and her tenant, Heidi Powell, should do that contributes to others, not just themselves.
What are your suggestions?

She has been SO manic lately. The come-down is going to be SOMETHING.

Hey there Boo Thang!
How did you find this DCOTI, and what can you feel and/ or share about your connection with the Grifter Sisters? You're in a safe space, so let's share what you've been experiencing related to them?

WHY is he choosing to be with Heidi and the other way around? Two losers with no money or integrity barf emojis!

We're kicking off this CON ference to regroup after summer and also focus on BOTH Grifter Sisters! We have a couple of topics lined up, but we'd love to hear from you! What topics would you like to discuss here? Let's grill these grifters!

Isn't this such a good idea? What kind of jobs do you think he should apply for? *snerk*

When her current love-of-her-life Cez Darke dumps her because she can no longer pay for his expensive tastes, it's going to be epic.

... Looks like someone's hard-up for $pon-con money.