New behavioural issues

[u/Responsible-Hat2456]

almost every person I meet is giving me the "ick" nowadays. Has this happened to you ? You've gone from mostly patient to intolerant of others flaws ?

I can't compromise in relationships... I've only ever got on for a few weeks with someone before I give up, and I've usually pissed the other person off. The rest of my life feels like a compromise anyway as we don't fit in..

my wedding just got called off because I will not move 12 hours away from my family just for my partner's job... I won't live with his family... I've been abandoned by people in my world because I'm 'difficult' and useless in their eyes. They think that I give up on life just because one thing didn't go my way.

I don't understand myself either

if you've been in a similar place what did you do about it? counselling has not helped and it's only been a money extracting activity

[u/He_ofshadowsandtouch]

Part of adulting is learning to be accommodating of difference and recognising we aren’t perfect

The 12 hour move seems a bit much but surely this was discussed previous to getting engaged?

[u/IDontKnowMyUsernameq → u/He_ofshadowsandtouch]

Yeah something isn't adding up

[u/tr4l001]

People expect us to make endless compromises for them but will they make any for us? If someone won't do the same for you then why bother with them?

[u/Elden_Chord]

In my experience, healthy and effective conversations are all you need for a successful relationship.

This is what you need to focus on during first dates. This is the baseline!

Can we solve problems together? Can we explain ourselves properly? Can we overcome our insecurities to keep our conversations effective? When you should talk? When you should stop talking? How to say your words without hurting the other person, when it's needed to hurt the other person?

The question is: can you have healthy conversations or not? If you can't, then you are part of the problem (I've been there). And if you can, then you just need to look for the right person.

[u/familyfailure111]

Try journalling and come back to what you wrote in 6 months. Then analyse it. Fact, opinion, unfair expectation, likes, dislikes. I think some hidden aspect of your personality is coming out.

[u/JuIi0]

You sound intolerable and it doesn't seem to be unique to INTJ, therapy only works if you actually open yourself to it

[u/Responsible-Hat2456 → u/JuIi0]

so its all my fault?

[u/He_ofshadowsandtouch → u/Responsible-Hat2456]

Easy going happy people are very flexible and tolerant. I’m not particularly good at it but my partner is extremely relaxed and accepting of everyones quirks and she’s very popular.

EG one of her close lifelong friends left my partners mums funeral very early but my partner instead of taking offence, said ‘she will have her reasons and I accept this’

She never looses friends

[u/Sad_Channel_9154 → u/He_ofshadowsandtouch]

*loses

[u/Thrullx → u/Responsible-Hat2456]

I can't compromise in relationships...

Relationships take compromise almost by definition. If you really are unable to do so, you're not going to find many relationships that work.