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I’m 18M, an introvert, and currently taking a drop year. Lately, I’ve been realizing how strangely quiet life can become when you don’t really have a circle of your own.

I’ve never really had many friends, even growing up. I got used to keeping things to myself, spending a lot of time alone, and convincing myself that I was perfectly fine with it. But somewhere along the way, the silence started feeling less peaceful and more… lonely.

Being an introvert doesn’t mean I don’t want people around. Sometimes I genuinely wish I had someone to randomly talk to, share stupid thoughts with, laugh about something completely pointless, or just have a normal conversation without overthinking every word.

The drop year probably hasn’t helped either. Watching everyone else seem to move forward while your own days start blending together can mess with your head. Recently I’ve been feeling pretty low and noticing some signs that my mental health isn’t exactly at its best.

I’m not writing this expecting anyone to fix that for me. I think I just wanted to put it somewhere instead of keeping it bottled up again.

Maybe there are other people who understand what this kind of loneliness feels like. If nothing else, it’s comforting to know I’m probably not the only one.

My friend invited my to this trip, and im both really happy and suprised he did, i think he knows im not THE most social out there, and going on a 3 HOUR drive onto a 3 DAYS trip with his family of which i know NO ONE is gonna be rough.

i asked him if he could bring someone we both know to go along with me but he said theres only 1 spot.

He also told me it was normal for families to invite friends and that there was only going to be uncles and stuff like that.

Still i obviously dont wanna go, but heres the thing, i NEVER wanna go, and sometimes when i go i end up having fun, and better yet if i go ill get some friendship points with him, making us closer friends.

So pros:

Maybe fun

Friendship points

Cons:

Talking to people besides my friend

Slowly losing the friend

then theres some stuff like a cousins birthday party and one class that i would be missing, but thats irrelevant.

idk if this is the reddit for this stuff but any help would he appreciated.

She has complimented me for things (non-looks).

Waves and smiles when she sees me.

Is very shy (?)/quiet when we are together. Sometimes can't look at me and seems edgy. But will still try to be near me. Once sat next to me but did not speak to me - i had to initiate. She opened up a bit after that.

Has copied some of my style/things I do.

I've noticed she is generally quiet in a group chat we have. She never speaks even when we are planning stuff and everyone needs to vote.

Am I overthinking or being oblivious or?

Also, I'm very introverted too. I have tried to be playful and joke around. Sometimes she plays along but other times I can't tell if she's just nervous and she's kinda missed my joke or whatever 😬

Help!

Hey, I don’t have much to say but what is it about being shy in the workplace and introverted that makes all of your coworkers HATE you. I make small talk here and there, but honestly, I’m not a big fan of it and I prefer to just go to work and do my job and then go home. These coworkers love to chat amongst themselves and that’s great but the looks I get when I don’t want to be part of a conversation is absurd any of my introvert besties also deal with this??? Like please I’m not rude just quiet 🤫

Hey im Jade, im 18 and I’m trying to come out of my shell a bit and actually make some new friends instead of wondering why nobody magically appears in my life 😂
I’m pretty chill, definitely more introverted at first but once I’m comfortable I can talk about absolutely anything. I’m into travelling, animals, cars, fitness, random little DIY projects and honestly just having people to send stupid stuff to throughout the day.
Would be nice to meet some genuine people, have random conversations and hopefully make a couple actual friends. Tell me something about yourself or what you’ve been obsessed with lately 👀

I have been married for almost 20 years.
I’ve never really had many friends and I don’t have any brothers. So when I got married, I didn’t have a best man.

My bachelor party was me, by myself with some take out and watching TV.

Looking back on it, I wouldn’t have it any other way.

I’m considering giving both these things up because I just am no good at them and wouldn’t add any value to anyone’s life anyway. I never learned to socialize as a kid, and as an adult I’ve just never truly tried or, if I did force myself to do it and mingle, nothing ever came of it and I would feel frustrated because I didn’t make a friend. And with dating, well, I’ve never been in a relationship to begin with. And what woman wants to be with a guy who’s never had a girlfriend, you know?

But if I did decide to throw up my hands and just be done with trying to socialize and date, living purely for myself and keeping conversations with strangers to a minimum, what would happen to me over time? Would I become miserable? Would I find it peaceful? I know none of us have a crystal ball but I just thought I’d try to get some ideas.

yawrr I'm drifting away, everyone makes me feel so alone

A few years ago there was no subject but now I feel very alone

Like everyone else I want love yawrr as is my situation

Someone like me who will understand me, I will understand her

I really want someone to ask me, am I okay, am I feeling good, I also want to talk to someone a lot, just talk, k

I want someone to pamper me like I feel so alone I should pamper her

I don't understand what I am thinking, am I wrong or right, I wanted to talk somewhere so I spoke

I feel very weird so I will delete this post after some time

I used to be very outgoing but sometimes I wonder if it was just out of survival. As a kid, my mom had a chaotic life and we moved a lot. I went to 3 different high schools. Then I joined the military for 6 years that required a lot of moving around too. As an adult, I haven’t lived anywhere more than 3 years for different reasons… adventure, relationship and/or job. I used to constantly be around people and always making new friends.

Now I do not want to move anywhere I just want to stay put. My social battery is MAYBE 1 day a month. People overstimulate me so easily even at work. I don’t know if this just part of getting older or some kind of temporary social burnout.

My best friend and I booked a trip to an all-inclusive resort that includes a lot of guided hiking, swimming, etc. We both have had a very hard few years and wanted to use this vacation to really and truly relax and enjoy each other's company.

We were not expecting the resort to have such a forced "socializing" aspect. Mealtimes are arranged so you are sitting with strangers, and you are often asked where you were if you weren't down in the bar in the evening after dinner, etc. We are okay with shared mealtimes, and really enjoy socializing during the guided activities during the day, but the CONSTANT pressure to be with the others at all times is...draining the hell out of me honestly. And making me feel very badly for being someone who prefers to go relax in my room or by the pool and read a book.

I don't want to stay at the bar until 1am when we need to be up at 7 for breakfast, etc, but there is almost an accusatory tone when you asked the next day where you were.

I don't really know how to free myself from this need to fit in, or the worry and guilt of being perceived as antisocial. I'm not. I just like my company, my friend's company, and wanted this vacation to be relaxing and recharging. We still have three out of five days and I'm determined to feel comfortable in my own skin and do what \*I\* want to do... I guess I'm just venting. Thanks for reading 🤣

39m here

Throughout last decade, the life moved very fast changes in the business I was running then joining my first job at 35 and then house building and what not. The only interests I kept were books, movies, meditation practices

What happened in the background was the circle of friends kept narrowing and looking back I realize it was my mistake, I couldn't keep in touch. Kids were young and too much was happening

Now the situation is I really want to make new friends

BUT

I have started avoiding people altogether.

There are too many constraints and I get judgy, the interests and thought process doesn't match and then it feels it's better this way

Anyone experienced this?

I hate them so much, I get extreme anxiety and my mind goes blank with imposter syndrome. The whole time I feel like I’m putting on a performance and once it’s over I feel like have an emotional hangover

I get extremely bored when I’m alone. I genuinely struggle to spend time by myself.

Because of that, I always feel the need to keep myself busy. When I’m alone with nothing to do, I either end up masturbating unnecessarily, overthinking, or looking for some kind of escape.

Sometimes I tell myself I should study more or learn something new for my career, but honestly, I think a lot of it is just an excuse to avoid feeling empty or alone.

I’ve even started working overtime at the office without getting paid for it, simply because I’d rather stay busy than go home and sit alone.

And sometimes I stay awake all night because my mind just doesn’t switch off.

The weird part is that I wait all week for the weekend, but when Sunday actually comes, I almost hate it because it leaves me with too much empty time.

I always want to be doing something. I constantly look for an external factor — a person, work, studying, entertainment, anything — to keep me occupied.

I think this might actually be loneliness, or maybe my inability to be comfortable with myself when I’m alone.

I don’t know how to break this cycle.

How do you learn to be comfortable being alone without constantly needing work, people, entertainment, or some other distraction?

I'm a type C person

I can wake up at 5am. I can wake up at 1pm. I can work for 15 hrs straight, or I can do nothing for 3 days. text back in 0.5 secs or 2 weeks later. love being alone but hate feeling lonely. overthink everything, then end up saying it is what it is

I had to travel by car with my boss last year for a 10 hour journey, and she literally never once stopped talking. There were a few 30 second gaps. I turned on the radio and podcasts to try and stop her but she would talk about the topics that we were listening to, nonstop while we listened. I tried using one word answers and not responding but she would notice and seem offended. I didn't want to put on headphones, she is my boss and that would have been really offensive to her. I survived, but we are scheduled to go again in a few weeks. Is there anything I can do to get her to stop talking?

I have, all my life, been an introvert and have had self esteem issues due to my upbringing. I, however, ended up in a highly competitive world of sales after school and I had to fake it (confidence) to make it in that world. So on the face of it, I seem confident and chatty in my work environment and I'm very good at my job, it's all a facade. The thing is, I'm not sure if people see through it because although I'm popular among my colleagues at work, no one really calls me or texts me. I also get invited to outings with my colleagues but outside of work, my false confidence doesn't work and I'm like a fish out of water. I just keep quiet and watch everyone else have a good time while I'm feeling awkward and out of place myself.

I make 'friends' easily enough throughout my whole adult life but in reality they're just work colleagues and I don't have any real friends.

Can anyone relate to this? Has anyone successfully gotten out of this situation and have gained real friendship?

My partner was everything, she left me and now I am very alone and isolated. How have you who have experienced this navigated making friends or finding ways to remove the isolated feeling?

Introverts can be very good friends when they find the right person(s) to have meaningful conversations. This is something that most people don't understand. People feel annoyed if we mind our own business and don't participate in chitchat. This happens all the time. It starts with students, but it often continues with colleagues at work and of course neighbours. I hoped that after my studies the situation would change when dealing with adults, but it never did. Neighbours in particular seem to be even suspicious of people who like to stay on their own. My neighbours told the landlord that I am weird, although luckily the landlord sided with me and even asked me if they had harassed me. This has not always been the case in the past. I had neighbours who invented stories about me and made my life hell only because I minded my own business, nothing else.
What's the problem with minding one's own business? What's so offensive? Nothing of course, but people misinterpret it as being conceited. This is actually sad.

I generally won't wear a T-shirt (or other apparel) with words on it -- whether it's a company name or a team logo or some sort of saying. It's a quirk that I attribute to my introvertedness -- a preference to not share info about myself to the general world. I am curious if other introverts do the same. (I could also see it playing the other way -- you wear a shirt with a niche reference as a way of letting folks know something about you that you might not otherwise volunteer).

I’m an introvert who is very independent and has always been happy being single. Any time I’ve ever tried a relationship or even had a crush on someone it hasn’t worked out. Mostly because I lose interest once the initial chase is over but also because I feel like I’m not cut out to be in a long term relationship. Because of this, I’ve tried to avoid dating because I feel bad that I just lead people on and end up wasting their time.

However, I’ve developed by far the biggest crush I’ve ever had on someone who I see fairly regularly through a shared hobby and (I’m truly shocked to say) she definitely likes me too. I can’t be certain but it seems like she’s exactly like me (introverted, independent and happily single). So now im totally confused about where to go from here. For one thing, how tf do 2 shy introverts talk to each other when they’re both crushing on each other. It’s so awkward lol. But mostly how does a relationship work between 2 people who don’t talk much and just generally prefer single life? Can this work or would we be wasting each others time? Any advice or experience with this kind of situation would be greatly appreciated.

This is a PSA for non-introverts. I do not know which time of introvert I am, but it seems like I am ok with some interaction as long as I can control it. Here is my story. I had a friend, had because she moved and I lost touch. She is a good person who old enough to be my mother. Anyway, we met at work and would see each other outside of work in groups for drinks, dinner, etc. She lived in the next tow over about 30 minutes away. One Saturday, she called and informed me that she would be in my neighborhood, shopping. She stated she was with her niece and if I wanted to join her for lunch. I figured it would be ok as lunch would not last very long. WRONG. They picked me up, mistake number one. We went to lunch and then they insisted on going to a store nearby. Ok, I can sit in the car an wait and then be taken home. When she returns from the car, she informed me that she was "kidnapping" me and that I would have to spend the entire day with her, haha. Oh my goodness, I felt weak in the knees. She took me to her home unloaded her shopping, made dinner, chatted and then finally returned me home. She thought she was being so cute by having me accompany her all day. From that day on I no longer hung out with her. I saw her occasionally but avoided her. It was so uncomfortable not to have control over when I could return home. She moved out of town and insisted I go visit her. I will never visit her as she will insist on me spending days with her which I do not want.

People, do not force anyone to be with you. Let people do things their way or they will avoid you!

Hey i am highly introverted and also struggling some anxiety issues so my social capacity is almost zero

while the outings and social situations never seize to present themselves its always happening like after every 4-8 days i would be asked to hangout and my parents are the ones who ask me this

Now its getting sooooooooo freaking difficult for me to everytime turn them and they start scolding me and pls dont get me started on talking it out j have tried it multiple times but they dont understand my health issues they think going out will fix my anxiety but in fact it increases it

The anxiety issues temporary due to some health issue which j am actively trying to fix but it is a tough job so it is taking a bit of a time and in the meantime i want things to just wait a bit but explaining this to my parents is of no use they have their own thinking and they simply think they are always right and that sitting at home is the real culprit

Its gotten so difficult for me now that idk what to do. I am also fed up but j am forcing patience in me

I don’t tell them to not go anywhere without i simply just say i cant because it brings me more anxiety which gets me on the edge honestly so it isn’t something like stepping out of the comfort zone its almost like hanging on cliff situation for me because of this anxiety

I have tried anxiety meds but they don’t help. Why? Because my anxiety is triggered by sluggish digestive system and intense bloating so the treatment lies in getting the digestion on track which is taking some time because it requires me to focus on my fiber, my hydration, my post meal walks, my upright posture. I actually spend almost 80% of the day reclined using phone and usually soon after eating i get reclined which ultimately ends up making me feels bloated after 1-2 hours of eating and then i start feeling restless and anxious because of this. The issue sounds very easy to deal with but it isn’t that easy as my digestive system is slowed due to a 10 years of sedentary lifestyle. So reversing it is a task in its own. I am being lightly active now since about 3 whole months.

All my adult life, I have been invisible socially. Last weekend I was sitting with 4 others from an LGBT+ group I belong to, and 3 of them were making plans to meet up the next day and then one of them asked the 4th person if she wanted to join them. She didn't ask me. Another time I was at a different gathering, and a man went round the room shaking hands and having a few words with everyone, and when he come up to me, he walked straight past me. These are just two examples. This sort of thing happens to me so often, and it really hurts so much. It feels as if I don't exist. Is this a normal thing which most introverts eperience, or is there something else going on? As far as I know, people don't hate me. It is more as if I make no impact at all. (Someone said to me once that I made no impact on him).

I literally just said I really like alone time and this extroverted person got super upset. Like dude it’s not your business or problem. I’m just not the person that gets enjoyment out of being with people every second of the day.

Then they imply that there’s something wrong with me or I must be traumatized.

Is it just me or does that sound arrogant af also?

Like “I’m so awesome to hang out with there MUST be something wrong with YOU”

I went to a school to be an Esthetician. I didn’t consider I would be talking to people alllllll day. All day. I quit that job so quickly, in the door and out.

what are some jobs that are simply out of the question for you? and what do you do currently?