r/mildlyinfuriating 7h ago

I just wanted a hot dog Only an ass parks like this

Post image
772 Upvotes

130 comments sorted by

89

u/OneExhaustedFather_ 6h ago

Looks like he has a flat front left tire. That’s a shame.

36

u/the-real-spencer 6h ago

Better let some air out of the other 3 to even it out.

18

u/Fl_Funky_Jam 4h ago

I've always wanted a pair of these shoes just for occasions like this.

3

u/ShaneCoJ 4h ago

And a bent wiper blade.

2

u/smellslikespam 2h ago

And a bent missing wiper blade.

4

u/Texas_Wookiee 3h ago

Oh yeah the "non" vandalism method of pushing in the valve stem until said tire is flat.

2

u/MichiganGeezer 2h ago

Adhesive wheel weights will get them out of the spot faster though.

2

u/Texas_Wookiee 1h ago

Also true hah!!

1

u/fishdad1977 1h ago

Just add a small rock under the cap and screw down and walk away. Less time around car.

1

u/Recent_Trifle_8159 1h ago

Or he could be up for repossession

1

u/zestycracker61 1h ago

I don’t even need a sarcasm font to see how you wrote that. Hahaha

u/Even_Routine1981 8m ago

Dam valve stem thieves...

16

u/Fumanchusucka 7h ago

Only a McConaughey drives a lincoln

8

u/WaffleHouseGladiator 6h ago

They're not the greatest vehicles ever, but they're alright, alright, alright.

4

u/Fumanchusucka 6h ago

You just gotta keep drivin man, d-r-i-v-i-n

u/Ambitious_Egg9713 26m ago

The Lincoln Lawyer has no other choice. It’s in his name.

12

u/SenescenseSteel 7h ago

I have come to the conclusion that the average human being has far less spatial awareness than we actually think

6

u/jxj24 4h ago

I have come to the conclusion that the average human being has far less spatial awareness than we actually think

I have come to the conclusion that the average human being has far less situational and self awareness than we actually think

15

u/Longjumping_Suit_256 7h ago

Illinois, Checks out. I’ve never met more angry or pretentious drivers anywhere else in my 40 years of existence.

12

u/DM-UR-B00Bs 6h ago

Every city thinks their drivers are the worse. Turns out everywhere there are bad drivers.

1

u/Longjumping_Suit_256 4h ago

This is true, PNW has the passive aggressive driver going too slow in the fast lane, Midwest wants to murder you even if you’re doing 10 over and will pass you in the shoulder. And Texas will just shoot you/s

1

u/KittiesRule1968 2h ago

Try driving in Atlanta. Houston was like a small, mellow town with no issues whatsoever in comparison.

6

u/Chief_Mischief 7h ago

More than the DFW area in Texas or Miami? I will never drive in either area again given how much road rage and ego-driven drivers i witnessed or experienced in both places.

4

u/duskveill 7h ago

Drive through Atlanta rush hour once and your perspective changes fast

2

u/Alivaronas 6h ago

Idk dude my daily commute in DFW basically feels like Mad Max.

5

u/Melodic_Cap6466 7h ago

So you're from Indiana or Wisconsin?

1

u/ReferenceMediocre369 3h ago

Wisconsin? Land of the mid-freeway, mid rush hour carjacking?

u/Pretend_Reference_55 50m ago

Land of left lane campers

4

u/pineapplepizza8705 6h ago

Just drove in Chicago all this weekend. It sucked, but it's definitely not the worst.

4

u/Bananas_are_theworst 6h ago

I learned to drive in Chicago and will take that any day over the absolute chaos that is driving in Nashville. Never in my life have I wanted a dash cam more than when I lived there. People are insane in Nashville.

2

u/Erdozaine 6h ago

The Garden State wants a word. 

10

u/Ordinary_Visit_1606 7h ago

Or an old person that shouldn't be driving any more

5

u/Dogmaddit 7h ago

Driving a Lincoln? Nah…can’t be.

7

u/Sherifftruman 7h ago

That’s probably too extreme to be from this, but I’ve definitely been stuck in spots where most of the cars were over the line, in an angle park situation in a parking deck like this. I park along with all those other people then they leave making me look like the jerk.

People always seem to keep their back passenger side wheel over the line in these set ups

4

u/nuckchorris2020 7h ago

Watch me wedge my 2016 Kia Soul within 1/16 of an inch of their entire passenger side and get out the other door…

3

u/ajpinton 6h ago

I’d find a way to fit my ram 1500 in that spot, just to prove a point.

3

u/OkHornet54 6h ago

4 flat tires in my neighborhood

3

u/fatal-shock-inroute 6h ago

I'd try to sneak my truck in there and get out through the sun roof.

1

u/AnxiousParticular298 6h ago

I’d do the same.

3

u/Spock-1701 6h ago

Park a Fiat on either side.

3

u/Yeshe_Melong 6h ago

Always carry a 5 Ton floor jack for just these occurrences.

Plant the jack center mass using a broad base, on the trans is usually best, pull it out into the main drive area, out of the jimmied spot, park, have a nice day 👍🙋🏻‍♂️

3

u/collegefootballfan69 6h ago

Must be ORD, not surprised

6

u/QuantumEntanglr 6h ago

5

u/Tiiimmmaayy 6h ago edited 5h ago

I don’t get people who park like this to “avoid door dings”. The only time in my life I’ve keyed a car was because they parked like this in a very busy parking lot. Like yeah, you probably won’t get door dings, you’ll just open yourself up to getting vandalized even more.

2

u/QuantumEntanglr 6h ago

My car has two dings, one on each side (full dislcosure, my own kid did kne getting out if my wife's car). It drives me crazy when I see them. I still don't park like an asshole. I will try to find safer spaces or park far away, but i make it my problem, not everyone else's.

5

u/comfortable_cutie_ 7h ago

Sir, that’s a Lincoln not an asshole

1

u/Background_Handle_96 2h ago

We've come a long way from the Emancipation Proclamation

4

u/Ok-Alternative-9758 7h ago

That thing has 360 degree caneras that kick on when getting close to the front of a spot. They intentionally parked that way so no one would scratch/ding the car...

4

u/PurpleC0ugar 4h ago

Yeah. I actually sorta even developed this game I play with myself to see how perfect I can park with my 360 camera. No one should be parking this badly with one of those in their car.

5

u/doug-demuro-is-daddy 7h ago

I know I could squeeze my car on the right of that. Wouldn’t mind a door ding too much as the car is almost 60 years old with bad paint

1

u/Mugstotheceiling 4h ago

I miss driving a beater because it was sweet, sweet justice doing that every time

3

u/sod1102 6h ago

They *are* a Sox fan. 🤷‍♂️

2

u/ShelbyByTheSea 7h ago

Wow! I’m infuriated for you!!

2

u/TooLate4thisShit 7h ago

In a lincoln lol

2

u/Comprehensive_Ant57 7h ago

Looks just like ‘compact parking’ at ABIA.

And yeah, I did read the white sox sign. Assholes park like assholes is the least convenient places.

2

u/Kidfuscious 6h ago

Nah, it’s Mathew McConaughey

2

u/YouMeanWhatIKnow10 6h ago

I will say, those spots at ORD are pretty tight. This guy is a jag though.

2

u/betbuzzy 5h ago

Entitled

2

u/No_Trouble9808 5h ago

And there are so many entitled asses out there. They mastered the art of narcissism.

2

u/Traditional-Cap-3485 4h ago

It’s a Lincoln, so clearly he or she is entitled

1

u/ManBitesDog404 1h ago

I think you mean self-entitled.

2

u/BowlJumpy5242 3h ago

Youse folks are just jealous. That’s a LINCOLN! Your pedantic parking rules do NOT apply to people who drive Lincolns, BMWs, Mercedes-Benz, or Ford trucks.

1

u/ManBitesDog404 1h ago

I’ve seen plenty of pretentious GMC and Chevy drivers as well. They are everywhere.

2

u/Automatic-Union-3385 2h ago

Oops I dropped my feet on the door. My bad

2

u/ManBitesDog404 1h ago

If I owned a deck and charged for parking, there’d be a posted notice that cars occupying more than one space and or preventing another vehicle from using an adjacent space, the vehicle will be towed at the driver’s expense. Effectively, what this jackass is doing is theft of services.

2

u/petergriffin999 1h ago

Infuriated that it's not towed by the business/airport/whatever.

Tow that shit and laugh at them.

u/omnipotent87 55m ago

I have once squeezed my 1989 F250 next to aone asshat that parked like this. I was able to keep my truck in the space, barely, but my wife had to climb out of my side. It was the only spot available so I didnt have much choice. I got close enough that you couldnt even walk through the space between us. My favorite part is they were trying to leave when we were. We just sat and watched.

u/MentalWho 40m ago

The owner of the Lincoln, whatever it may be parks like that, but has a dirty vehicle.

u/SwingDuoNash 22m ago

That’s both the ass and the hole

3

u/Plastic-Shoulder2285 6h ago

Nah, it's ok as it's a Lincoln, so probably an affluent suburbanite. Since they are better people than us peasants, they can park like that repercussion free. /s

https://giphy.com/gifs/3o751XDbTvZw958ZYk

1

u/unlucky13bethename 6h ago

You can fit. Go for it. Make them miserable.

1

u/im_just_thinking 6h ago

I also can't stand when two extra long cab trucks/SUVs park butt to butt in the garage while extending several feet past the parking lines each so even your civic is struggling to get through..

1

u/YouWereBrained 6h ago

OP, going to crosspost to the White Sox sub if you don’t mind.

1

u/rlars1 2h ago

Go right ahead.

1

u/Various-Muffin4145 6h ago

Definitely a Ass that needs some dude wipes.

1

u/TerribleTowel66 6h ago

I saw one last week they were parked diagonally just enough to block 3 spots. C’mon, fix it when you see how badly you parked!

1

u/AnxiousParticular298 6h ago

This is when you with you drove your beater to work, and slam right up on them then zip tie a cart to their door.

1

u/Weep4Thee 6h ago

Maybe they had a poop emergency...

1

u/ajlorello 6h ago

That’s someone that had to 💩!

1

u/muchoqueso26 6h ago

I see room.

1

u/FormalTotal9684 6h ago

My wife is such an ass

1

u/kisselmx 6h ago

Alright alright alright

1

u/Armedwithapotato 5h ago

I’d park right behind them

1

u/jaguaraugaj 5h ago

I’m like a magnet for these people

1

u/LifeOfJad 5h ago

Tow truck would gladly take care of that

1

u/DizzyPS5 5h ago

Vaseline on the door handle

1

u/LItreehouse 4h ago

1

u/rlars1 2h ago

Yea when I was younger that would have been the go to response.

1

u/wtf149206 4h ago

This is where I back in next to them so close they can't leave

1

u/DisciplineHot7374 4h ago

Yes, yes they do.

1

u/AlternativeLong8095 4h ago

Valve stem remover corrects that bad habit

1

u/Texas_Wookiee 3h ago

This sucks more in a garage, but in a shopping center .... couple buggies zip-tied to door handles. That'll teach em.

1

u/SnooHamsters4096 3h ago

I would just park right next to him anyway. Showing him that it doesn’t bother me and man up.

1

u/MichiganGeezer 2h ago

A guy can't manage a steering task and pulls in badly, then says to himself "well I'm here now", and just walks away.

Too bad people who do that don't get towed away more often.

1

u/holiestcannoly 2h ago

I never understood why people with nice cars don’t just park away from people instead of doing this.

When my dad had his Mustang GT, he was practically parking the next state over and had us walk.

1

u/Far_Climate9811 2h ago

They might be handicapped? Some handicapped drivers will park in a standard spot like this so that they have room to exit with their mobility devices (wheelchair, walker, etc). It’s the reason why you’ll always see a blocked out spot (typically with blue diagonal stripes in CA) next to a handicap one. Could also just be an able bodied asshole lol

1

u/6xlevbear 2h ago

I know the solution

1

u/Acceptable-Damage457 1h ago

Maybe the ones on either side were parked badly?

1

u/Hornygaysatanic 1h ago

Pop
It’s tires

1

u/superphly 1h ago

Or someone that is suffering from postpartum depression. That's now a perfectly fine excuse, apparently.

1

u/Recent_Trifle_8159 1h ago

The Tesla parked like a jackass as well

u/SwingDuoNash 21m ago

That’s too be expected

1

u/DamienRaventhrone 1h ago

That's what Larry David refers to as a pig parker.

1

u/BrutalHunny 1h ago

Hey it’s my car.

1

u/Silly-Attorney9621 1h ago

That's why I like Ohio. If someone is parked like that you can legally hit them and it's their fault and they have to pay for all the damage. An old friend of mine took me to an interview and he parked like that and he was part of the Auxiliary Police Department and the cops gave my friend the ticket because it was camera how he parked.

u/Accomplished-Roof203 38m ago

I hate when people park like that. No frickin decency.

u/RealN1- 22m ago

In a parking garage at that like that’s bold as shit

u/monikermonitor 12m ago

It’s a white boomer dude guaranteed

1

u/Accomplished_Emu_658 6h ago

I once talked shit about parking like this. Until i got to other side to see it was struck and pushed.

0

u/ReferenceMediocre369 3h ago

Unfortunately, none of you parking rangers have any idea how surrounding vehicles were parked when this guy arrived, do you?

3

u/SimpleLobsters 3h ago

Then park somewhere else.

Just because someone else did something stupid doesn't mean you get to continue it.

"I parked like a dick because the other guy was also" really isn't a great defence

0

u/ElectrOPurist 7h ago

A White Sox fan, eh? I’m shocked. SHOCKED! Well…not that shocked.

0

u/dmtslayr 6h ago

Ppl with small cars cant drive, ppl with big cars cant park, there is always something

-1

u/abstractfromnothing 2h ago

Calm down he was in a rush

-5

u/Brave_Yesterday_6106 7h ago

Eh... can't really tell unless I saw the person park.  It could be the two cars before parked outside the lines.

-2

u/d_zeen 7h ago

In their defense the parking garage in ohare is crazy tight and it’s full of parking atrocities. Someone could have been offset when they tried to park forcing them to park poorly.

The lines in Ohare’s garage are modems a suggestion than a mandate.

-2

u/Professional_Pen_153 7h ago

Holy shit, that’s not a BMW!?!?!

But TO BE FAIR…. The demographic that drives lincoln SUVs gets pretty up there in age… im not saying it is always the case, but sometimes driving skills degrade a bit!

-2

u/GasStationTiefling 6h ago

It’s possible that

A. There was another car parked on their left previous that made them park like this or

B. They needed the space to unload someone in a wheelchair but the handicap spots were full.

But they could just be an asshole.