raw existence

[u/No-Smoke7105]

why? why do i exit? evryone is uniqe life seems like an esyution just live you got canser disabled not atrective small weak? doesnt metter out of all the stares there is nothing to comper it to yet you juge people wrongfully you youself subconsciously treat attractive people better no matter what you do some kid with cencer is is fighting for his life yet as long as consenos exits so do senses and dreams but you cant fix yourself you are in hell looking at heven asking why make incent people suffer you look arounf you to socity just to see monkeys secuficing the ugly the bad gentics to die in the name of evolotion give atrective poeple seond chances becuse in nuther good gentics are your only worth the modle of life is grate regardless that like a sick child is limited to yoou so you are limited to the huma pike or alines so for sure that must be the meaning of life enjoying something right? but yiu cant ripe your mind out of this body you wish you could treat everyoone the same but you cant and you have no body in the world at this point you dont know what the anser is everyone is programed to look into the good one so what now?

it is this spesific contrast as long as you are alive there is a you whic results in things to try to know pain is to know being free from it

every negtive is a proff for a postive existing life is butifal

and you should not blame yourself for peoples curlty

sure you hard human bised and hurt but

you have empthy

you like what you like but you ccan know your own bais and be fair

i just wonder at nights alone if the external world doesnt matter if from a cosmic perspective we are all disbled and cant move then why do i feel like that

then you riled you are a sociel bein

you can love sure but you are hurt becise you know none can love you

you are hurt becuse you dont like yourself

you look at how humans hurt and whis you were a machine and ai something that can repogram itself to be good fair kind moral

but you learn if you need people to love you you wont have fun doing what you like

you end up asking

is there a world were i will have people like me? a world were i can break out of this fleth forcing me to treat people difrently based on how they look a love when empthy of maine is for the good and not the good looking a world where i can finaly be a good moral persone?

i hurt people undesrving of pain i give joy to agressors undesrving of it i aim for power i cant own yeald to be treated with morlty my brain vant give

how do i learn to be a good person? how do i treat people fairly stop needing everyone to love me and be ok on my own?

maby i cant be but not beucse i hate people i have perfances no one must chose me nither shuld i must be to chose them

but i will be difrent i will never let anyone be alone

i will treat all humans like humans

i will be kind even thu deep inside i cant truly be

becuse my perfrances wont effect my moralty

i will live becuse i can i will push becoes that what i will wish a sick kid will do becuse if an aline wich i look like a sick child comper to will come i wont feel sad then why should a sick kid feel sad next to me?

i dont need to not have perfrances or be nutrly good

i need to act good becuse i am not my feelings or this body i am a dinamic spark made in this world

i will cage the bad use it for good and i will live and enjoy like i did as a kid

if i wasnt saved i will save myself beucse i klove and trust myself

i may look funny like a carcter in game look bad or be weak but i will stile play

becuse life is a game

and i will make it fun

becuse i am not a cowrd i dont turn down a hard game

and i will push my carcter to the mac untill every atom in this world effected by my gravity will speak of proff that i did maced out myself

the utcome is luck the base is my feelings and i might not have the right tools but the attempt is main i am a verctor and i will puch mysefl forwaerd

not to live forever

to say in the end my run of the game was perfect becuse i did what i wahnted to do with a 100 percent perfaction

i acted like the person i whanted most to be

myself

so i am done with ignorate i am done with crying over the evil of others or feeling uslees or powerless for myself and others

in so absecure case veryone is a tool for a job no matter how obsecure

so i will play my run and have my fun

i should not feel sory for the disable i should be inspired by what they are

everyone is able everyone is disbled

i am nothing but a broken man in every way

but i am a man

why do i wirt that here? online for everyone to see?

maby so hardwire need to tell to the world maby some simboliv reson

but those i lost long ago in my sadnes till now

i can make my own choices

this is my saying what can i lose? what can i be afread off?

nothing

before i rest i an infitnte unive where every atom is effected by my gravity and effected by luck there is one thing i have to try

to do this becuse i whant to i post that becuse this is what i whant

and becuse you read this means you can do as well this might be ignored blow up or get downvoted for hell becuse of a spelling or becuse of me saying it in the wrong words

but i shot my shot did what i whant and if it put a simail on another persone biside me then i am happy for them

(sorry for the languge english is my 4th languge and sorry if it was hard to get this acros i wrote that from happines emothion and passition not to be a perfect text so sorry if you dindt understand shit)

[u/NineCatsDeep]

I was oddly excited as to how none of your typos affected my ability to understand what you’re saying.

Nice passion in this post. Don’t ever loose that.

[u/RedactedBartender]

You drunk?