Self Hatred - tips

[u/Parking-Score5698]

Latelly I've come to the conclusion that every bad thing that ever happened in my life started because I have a lot of self hatred. It's super hard to explain but growing up I had a narcisistic parent, a toxic bff and met many people that were jealous of my grades and inteligence. Somehow they all managed to convince me that I am a bad person for getting things they didn't have, also I grew up as the sick kid which made me hate my body and like that isn't enough people bullied me for my health problems. Nowadays i find myself having thoughs like: "your face is so ugly sideways" or "your posture is so unatractive" or "your social anxiety makes you look pathetic and weak" and no matter what I do this thoughs are more loud than the positive ones. I don't know what to do, do you have any tips to become more confident and heal from bullying?