r/okbuddycinephile 9h ago

A creative decision you can't wait people to be completely chill and normal about?

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4.6k Upvotes

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1.2k

u/FlinFlonDandy artemis fowl representative 9h ago

His origin story will now be 9/11

666

u/Shoddy_Newspaper_718 9h ago

Incidentally, you think Mark Wahlberg would look cool in a Magneto costume?

229

u/Aura-Astrid 9h ago

He’d probably try to play Magneto with a Boston accent, which would be hilariously aggressive.

134

u/OgreHombre 8h ago

How’s your mother, Charles?

91

u/endgame217 Uwe Boll 8h ago

She just got a brand new cah

51

u/OgreHombre 8h ago

There’s a war going on, Charles, and I’m the mutant who does his job. You must be the other guy.

46

u/TelenorTheGNP 6h ago edited 6h ago

Theh's a waw goin awn, Chaahls, and Oi'm the myootan' who duz his jaawb. You must be the uhthuh gaw-ee.

Fixed it for you.

12

u/temictli 6h ago

Ty immediately clocked it and woulda done it if you 'adn't

10

u/TelenorTheGNP 6h ago

It's not easy. Slowing it down, "clocked" could be spoken as "clawcked" or "clo-acked". I'm not sure of the accent's thickness across the city or if Im hearing Peter Griffin or Will Hunting.

2

u/No-Trust8420 1h ago

This is poetry.

1

u/TelenorTheGNP 1h ago

I've never even been to Massachusetts.

2

u/Regular-Grass1320 2h ago

just read that in his voice

2

u/Anteater_Able 2h ago

Ya got too much eye-in in ya blood, ked.

1

u/joshstrodomus 6h ago

Wid a teddy bewr

44

u/EchoOk5210 7h ago

"Chahles, ya fackin qouksucka" - Markneto

18

u/temictli 6h ago

MarkyMarkneto

47

u/Peripatetictyl Cats 8h ago

Magneto, did you blind all of these innocent Koreans?!

Maybe. Maybe not. Maybe fahk yahself.

3

u/Newfaceofrev 6h ago

"I'm an inventor"

1

u/LaCoocaracha 2h ago

Yo my boy’s wicked good with metal kid

53

u/mattydubs5 8h ago

If he was on the Statue of Liberty that night things would’ve gone down differently.

46

u/AerialShroud go back to the club 8h ago

Mark Wahlberg can't play Magneto, because there would be no tragic origin for him, because it wouldn't have gone down like that.

23

u/Lammington 8h ago

Wouldn'ta gone down like that if Magneto Wahlberg were on that plane.

13

u/An_Sach 8h ago

In order to capture his hatred for humanity, disney book him a vacation in Vietnam

13

u/aesoth 8h ago

What if they got Pete Davidson instead?

4

u/Shoddy_Newspaper_718 8h ago

Can those pussy eyes fit in a helmet?

5

u/Iwillrize14 7h ago

butthole eyes

2

u/Peripatetictyl Cats 8h ago

They’d need an R rating, if they’re willing to show that much blood (likely of innocent by standards, perhaps even his own child’s, we can’t know).

2

u/SolidCartographer976 8h ago

Then 9/11would not happen with wahlberg there

2

u/Grizzly_Corey 7h ago

Too cool, possibly

2

u/CleverAnimeTrope 6h ago

As a dude originally from MA Im just gonna say it, Marky Mark couldnt of done anything. But Jason Varitek 100% could have.

2

u/inept_machete 6h ago

"as long as it's in sawks coluhs".

1

u/Someguywhomakething 6h ago

Is his superpower punching old folks and blinding them?

1

u/GMM85 6h ago

I know he wouldn’t let those planes go down

1

u/HorsePersonal7073 6h ago

Wait, so his backstory is a shitty music career?

1

u/HEFTYFee70 6h ago

“Hey… I’m Magneto… say hi to ya mutha for me.”

1

u/Last-Sleep4638 5h ago

How are ya iron levels? They doin' good?

1

u/United_Ambassador103 5h ago

Which Wahlberg committed hate crimes in the past again?

1

u/Iwona_Klich 1h ago

Its been almost like Handmaid tale actress being a raging scjentologist... 

111

u/Slight_Present7796 8h ago

The funniest part is that Stan Lee created the x-men specifically because he was tired of having to come up with dumb origin stories. Basically went "fuck it, they are mutants, mutated by radiation or something, who gives a shit".

Now we have canonical genocides.

28

u/CompetitiveSleeping 8h ago

Stan & Jack created them, but 90% of the "lore" is Chris Claremont.

51

u/Slight_Present7796 8h ago

Must be why I used the word "created" instead of "wrote 90% of the lore".

40

u/Ryeballs 8h ago

This guy was irradiated by a dictionary

12

u/butchforgetshit2 8h ago

Bit by a radioactive Thesaurus

3

u/Old-Reception-1538 4h ago

A dinosaur themed superhero would be awesome

1

u/DelcoUnited 2h ago

We already have the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles.

24

u/Bitey_the_Squirrel 8h ago

His origin story was tied to grammar Nazis in the Holocaust.

4

u/betacuck3000 7h ago

Comprenhendo, the most well read X-man

1

u/WeirdistBuilds 6h ago

That's Cypher.

1

u/temictli 6h ago

The most literate vaquero at Xavier's Colegio for the Gifted.

1

u/Bitey_the_Squirrel 8h ago

Like Rob Liefeld and Fabian Niceiza with Deadpool

3

u/Lawlcopt0r 3h ago

Now we have canonical genocides

I mean... the holocaust is not made up

1

u/gods-and-dancefloors 3h ago

Safe keep yourself, there is a lot of bait on this waters.

1

u/Cold-Tangerine-2893 43m ago

depends which sub-reddit you're in...

2

u/BudgetMattDamon 3h ago

"No more origin stories!" proceeds to create the most backstory riddled franchise in comics...

76

u/Ok-Walk-8040 9h ago

Magneto did 9/11. He redirected those planes with his magnet powers.

74

u/Toothless-In-Wapping watches sex scenes with parents like a boss 😎 8h ago

“Magneto isn’t strong enough to melt steel beams”

15

u/WeirdistBuilds 6h ago

He surely fuckin' is, though.

5

u/Greyjack00 5h ago

Fun fact metal heats up when specific magnetic currents are applied to it

1

u/James_Chandra_Hubble 3h ago

It also loses magnetic properties when liquid

1

u/Greyjack00 3h ago

Does it lose all magnetic properties or simply ferromagneric properties 

1

u/Particular-Energy217 3h ago

Doesn't earth's core, which consists mainly of iron and other metals, generates its magnetic field? Therefore, I assume it stays magnetic.

9

u/SuperCruisePanther 8h ago

Planes are made out of aluminum which isn't magnetic. It was Professor X and his telekinesis powers controlling the pilots!

7

u/TalkinSeaCucumber 6h ago

Nah they just made the in-flight meals super iron rich

2

u/DelcoUnited 2h ago

Cue Mystique loading the planes food carts…

1

u/fragrant-final-973 2h ago

Magneto actually pulled the pilot down by his Prince Albert.

1

u/liam_loup 1h ago

"The planes curved, Eric."

"Because I was trying to save the towers. They took me out before I could."

"Why would you try and save them?"

"Because they were one of us."

18

u/noblehoax 8h ago

They found his passport and he’s the only one who can melt steel beams.

10

u/Bitch_for_rent 8h ago

The war on terror would be a great origin for him If he was middle eastern

6

u/wreckedbutwhole420 7h ago

The obvious move is to make him Gazan, but that will never happen lol

4

u/BuZuki_ro 7h ago

People really miss that him being a holocaust survivor isn’t just that he’s Jewish, it’s that jews lived among the Europeans but were still seen as outsiders and something to exterminate by people who lived right alongside them, and that ties much closer to his mutant motivation, precisely why the holocaust is that strong as an origin. Making him gazan would really fail to achieve that

1

u/Causemas 5h ago

Yeah, it just captures just one element (attempt at extermination) of the initial reason why making him Jewish was smart.

1

u/Unholy_mess169 4h ago

Never fails to amaze me, Stanley Lieber and Jacob Kurtzbreg made up a story about gifted people who pass for normal but are hunted like dogs when their identity is discovered, two Jewish guys who lived through wwii (Kirby served in Europe) and people legit think the x-men are completely divorced from that identity.

2

u/BuZuki_ro 3h ago

Yeah, I definitely agree with the sentiment that now the X-men are a universal allegory (and that’s a great thing), but acting like somehow the origin behind that isn’t obvious is… interesting

1

u/TheChunkMaster 3h ago

it’s that jews lived among the Europeans but were still seen as outsiders and something to exterminate by people who lived right alongside them

Like muslims right now? It could still work.

9

u/Bitey_the_Squirrel 8h ago

Jet fuel can’t melt steel beams, but Magneto can

2

u/Aware_Map593 7h ago

Magneto watching tower 2 fall and discovering he can bend office staplers

2

u/JoshSidekick 6h ago

Did Marvel NYC have to deal with 9/11 too? Jesus, why does anyone live in that city? I must have really steamed Bin Laden's beans that he does that and instead of being the crushing blow to America, it was just Tuesday in NYC.

1

u/TheChunkMaster 3h ago

Jesus, why does anyone live in that city?

The shwarma

1

u/Desperate-Blood-4286 7h ago

That would be good actually

1

u/xXxHondoxXx 5h ago

Which side?

1

u/Pearson94 5h ago

If only he was there to reform those melted steel beams!!

1

u/pid_geon 4h ago

He was one of the dancing Israelis

1

u/Unholy_mess169 4h ago

You mean 10/7?

1

u/DisorderlyAqueduct 3h ago

that's my origin story too. but 11 years before the big one.

turned 11 that year, pretty cool having a penpal in Afghanistan who blew out a couple candles for me!

1

u/ConsulJuliusCaesar 3h ago

Ok the idea Magento has the ability to stop the planes and just doesn't and then uses that as his "why I hate humanity" argument would be commediac.

1

u/Aggressive-Expert-69 1h ago

His mutant powers awakened when the second plane hit and allowed him to bend the steel beams

1

u/Longjumping_Fun2576 1h ago

Shit. That might work.

1

u/Garfwog 7h ago

"FEAR MAGNETO!!!" yoinks airplanes out of the sky

0

u/Fun-Aside3990 8h ago

F no lol.

0

u/kilsta 8h ago

Magneto can't melt steel beams.

0

u/Deostroyer 7h ago

Gerrard Way as Magneto

0

u/CucumberWisdom 7h ago

Dancing magneto?

0

u/kpcptmku 7h ago

Then in the new days of future past he goes and catches the planes before they hit. (I'm willing to talk about starting as a writer anyone at marvel)

0

u/LetterheadFun1824 7h ago

George Floyd

0

u/Tastic4ever 7h ago

He’d be too young. He needs to be in his 40s. Plus while that was a horrific event, I was a singular incident, not a long drawn out process that demoralized and destroyed his empathy for humans. 

0

u/shepard_pie 5h ago

It was just a normal plane, but his mutant powers activated.

Twice.