Hi All,

Im T, owner of a WhatsApp Sapphic group chat for over 30's.

I am based in the uk, but we have members for other countries too. We chat, joke, and generally just have a laugh at all the oddities that life throws our way.

If you are interested please send me a DM for more information.

T 🤟✌️

I am a performer and was looking for someone to be a plant in the audience. I had someone respond. I thought it was someone else. When I later realized this is a woman who now dates someone that stood me up. It was a group thing they stood me up on snd some people they kind a knew. They knew some of the same people I knew. So I was stood up in front of friends who know us both and it was humiliating. This was years ago now. Well their current longterm girlfriend was my volunteer. I just confirm it’s okay with them. Night of the event she messaged saying she will be there for sure at this time. So I switch my acts around to accommodate that. Then a message she’s running late but will tip. Then the final message stuck in traffic. As she’s posting pics to the story of some bar bathroom. I removed and unfollowed her. I feel like what the fuck was the point of that. I really am a decent person and don’t get why someone would go out of their way to take time to lie and sabotage me. I feel like a kid being bullied and a joke. I know it’s out of my control and I don’t know her reasons but I feel so shitty. I don’t want to vent on social media because it will just cause drama and I don’t have interest in that. Water on a ducks back I guess. But it’s feeling like oil.

Straight friend also my catalyst. Shes a newish bestie and we get along so well, emotionally connected and are close after developing this friendship for the past 12 months. Weve travelled a bit together this year and planning more trips.

Straight friend also my catalyst. Shes a newish bestie and we get along so well, emotionally connected and are close after developing this friendship for the past 12 months. Weve travelled a bit together this year and planning more trips.

I came out earlier this year, aged 46 (late bloomer, never knew I was queer and married). In the process of divorcing husband. Two children under 12.

Has anyone any success stories getting together with a 'straight 'friend? She had told me she tried it with a woman years ago, but maybe it hadnt been with the 'right' woman. She often makes comments about finding woman attractive and how I would be her ideal partner if I was a guy (this was in front of mutual friends).

She is also going to rent a spare room when I move info my new place. We enjoy each others company. She does not know I have these feelings towards her. I am good at keeping the boundaries as I value our friendship but day dream that one day things could be different. Fine if not, but curious if anyone has ever developed a WLW relationship with a 'straight' friend?

I was inspired to create this post after seeing someone else do the same—and thought, why not? At 64, I’m open to new connections, meaningful chemistry, and the possibility of meeting a woman who makes life feel even more fun, curious, and alive.
I’m originally from Connecticut and now happily finding my way in Tennessee. I’m at an interesting juncture in life: grounded in who I am, curious about what’s next, and open to the possibility of meeting someone very special.
I believe in progress, not perfection. I’m drawn to a woman who is open-minded, spiritually curious, emotionally self-responsible, and willing to keep growing. Someone who can go deep with me but also be silly, playful, and laugh until we can’t stop.
I work in the healing arts, a path I’ve felt called to since childhood. I’m endlessly fascinated by what makes us human, what helps us heal, and what becomes possible when two people are willing to lean in, stay curious, and discover the deeper places together.
My friends are my chosen family, and I treasure those relationships deeply. I’m also the proud mom of two adult sons whom I adore and respect.
I love being outdoors, spontaneous dancing in the kitchen, meaningful conversations, exploring alternative healing modalities, and curling up with the right woman for a really good movie. I’m partial to chemistry that shows up in the little things—a lingering look, an unexpected laugh, a conversation that goes on much longer than either of us intended.
I’m not looking for perfect. I’m looking for willing. Someone curious, kind, self-aware, emotionally intelligent and available, and open to seeing what might unfold.
Someone who has a life of her own, knows how to laugh, isn’t afraid of depth, and still has a little room for wonder, adventure, and mischief.
Maybe we’ll discover there’s a little magic in meeting each other. ✨

Hi ladies!! 👋 Let me introduce myself and share a snippet about me.

I just turned 58, I’m Gen X, and I grew up in the ’80s, so yep, I remember when we actually had to leave the house to find our friends. LOL

I don’t have children, but I’m a HUGE animal lover. My two Labradors are my kiddo's, and they’ve got me wrapped around their big paws. 🐾

I am originally from Connecticut, but now live just outside Charlotte, NC, in a small rural town on half an acre, where catching lightning bugs and having bonfires is still a thing. 🦋🔥

I’m very down-to-earth and happiest when life doesn’t take itself too seriously.

Give me jeans and boots (Crocs at work; no judging 😂), dive bars, food trucks, rainy days, the beach, the lake, or a random deep conversation that somehow turns into talking for three hours.

I’m kind, but I have boundaries. I'd like a partner, but don't need one. It would be nice to have someone to share adventures with, laugh with, or curl up on the couch with and find a good cold-killer show to binge.

My friends are my tribe, and I’m a believer in small circles, good beer, integrity, honesty, communication, no bullshit.

And honestly? I find integrity sexy😉

My laugh is loud, my kiss is soft, and I believe in both self-love and accountability. I’m comfortable with who I am, and I’d love to meet someone where we can start as friends and see where things naturally go.

I’m not looking to force anything. I’m just putting myself out there, meeting some new people, and seeing what happens.

So… hi. ❤️

Tell me a little about you.

(This is a repost, FYI)

My wife and I have been married 16, well 17 years next month. We are raising a son, 14y/o, had him since birth. I’m 56 and she’s 63 and NOW it feels like everything is falling apart. We are both nurses and she has back surgery in January and hasn’t been able to go back to work. I’m working 48 hours a week to keep our home afloat. Buts she’s severely depressed! She has always felt like she “needed to take care of the family” which has always been crazy to me because I e always looked at our relationship as a partnership. All she does these days is sit and doom scroll. On the 3 days I’m off all we do is argue. We are in the process of formally adopting our son (another very long story) so I’m trying to keep shit together, but I’m losing my mind! Help!

Been together almost 6 years. It's been rough. I've learned a lot and we've been through a lot. I can't say we're always the happiest couple. I love her though. For a while we haven't been much intimate due to a couple reasons.

It sucks but I read about other peoples' problems and I realized that I'm grateful even though it's less than perfect. I love her.

This is my life.

People have told me we should break up.

For what? I look around and see most people aren't perfectly happy, but our society is very disposable if that makes sense.

IDK what the point of this post is other than to say it's my mindset and I'm ok with that. I'll focus on what's good and stick it out flaws and all

I love her though

I’m traveling through Ireland right now and it’s fabulous. I could live here in a second if anyone wants to sponsor me ;-).

I had some time to read today. I posted recently about seeking intellectual connections and thought I’d post this article I just read today because it might have something to say about a lot of us. It’s about menopausal women (but straight). At 60, sex is definitely something that is complicated for me because most women I’ve talked to are sort of done with it. I’m trying to understand that since I feel almost like I’m in a second adolescence lol . “70 is not the limit” is interesting for the diversity it shows in sexuality in aging women. The Foucaldian analysis of the interviews gives ways to explain what women are living: decline, anti-decline, acceptance, progress, or critical discourse. I think the article is public. If anyone finds it as interesting as me, let’s talk about it.

https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/pdf/10.1080/19419899.2026.2691502

Thank you guys for all the kind comments last week when I posted when I wasn't sure what I was going to do with my hair. I had grown my hair to about medium length and I had had it that way for a while but I knew I wanted to cut it short and go back to what I'd had previously which was always very short kind of faded haircut. I had been sick in battling some health issues and had lost most of my hair so when I started getting it back I decided to grow it out. It's been a couple years of not feeling so great about my hair but now I've got my new haircut and I really kind of like it although I think it does look like a mullet a little bit. I just wanted to say thank you to the community for being so kind to me. And I wanted to share the pictures for those of you that did care that did comment this is what it turned out like. The medium length hair is what I had in the short hair is what I have as of right now. I hope everyone's having a good week, thanks for reading my post 😊

I was wondering if there are other women like me that seem to not have a clue. And all other aspects of life I feel like I understand things but when it comes to women and knowing if they're into me or not. I have no clue usually they are but I don't know until they're trying to get me into bed I always just assume they're my friend. This makes me feel like such a huge nerd it always has. I don't know how to get better at telling these things, and reading the signs.

For example maybe two weeks ago my coworker who is single had some pipes burst in her apartment and she needed a place to stay for a night or two. She had money to go to a hotel but she said she would rather stay with me because she didn't want to be alone. I totally thought okay that's nice I made up the extra bedroom so she would have somewhere to sleep and then when it's time for bed she had brought the blanket that I had given her with her and she follows me into my room and is talking with me and stuff and said I would much rather sleep in here with you. Made me a little nervous but I was just like okay I went to bed the next morning she was acting weird couldn't figure out what it was. And then today when I come into work I stopped by to give her her coffee order and she said she needs to speak to me. And she tells me how she felt so rejected and feel so bad about herself because she said she threw herself at me and I rejected her. Nothing even happened besides her saying she wanted to sleep in bed with me were there signs I was supposed to be picking up on and I was supposed to make a move? She is attractive but I'm not interested in sleeping with her but even if I was I wouldn't have known that's what she wanted. 🙄

This is happened to me over and over many times in my life. There would be girls that would stay the night with me and I would think it was just a sleepover and they would be in bed with me all cuddled up with me and then later they would say they like me. Or I would do something like I went go-kart racing with a girl once and she was with her boyfriend and I was with a group of friends and we ended up getting partnered together this was when I was in high school I think and she held my hand and kissed me and I had no clue that she liked me. I just wonder if you guys have any tips or anything I could do to try to get a better gay dark cuz I just never pick up on these cues and it's so lame.

It all started back in November of last year. I was coming off a night shift and working days, and she was tossing something in the trash outside her cubicle. I just happened to look, and it was like, 'Oh my God, where have you been all my life?' I couldn’t stop thinking about her. I've tried not to invest my energy in her, but unfortunately, she's been rude and dismissive, and she won't talk to me. If there are others in the room I'm talking to, she would speak to all of us; otherwise, she wouldn't. She watches me from afar, and it was becoming a problem because my nervous system would go into overload when I knew she was about to arrive. When I saw her, my heart would melt, and I would talk to my therapist about it, trying to redirect my energy back into myself. My marriage isn’t solid. We're in a roommate situation, and we want to get a divorce, but the housing market in Northern Virginia is so competitive. I feel like an idiot having this stupid crush on a 27-year-old. I don't even know if she likes me back. I've been playing this game for so long. I don't think she does. I think she's really cute, and I want to get to know her, but I don't believe that will ever happen.

I’m finding myself starved for mature, intelligent conversation with a woman. (I mean sex would be great, but that seems so remote at this point.) The apps give me women interested in nature and sports with little ambition, curiosity, or ability to carry a conversation. That includes Her, Hinge, Tinder, FB and most are 6+ hours away. I’m 61 and not even close to retiring. I’m in a graduate program for psychoanalysis, among other things. I’ve dated locally but I need more. Maybe I’m expecting too much. I don’t have a big list of requireds, just want someone whose mind can excite me as much as their body.

The picture with the short hair is my hair before I started growing it this is after almost a year. I can't figure out if I should cut it or not again. I feel like it's received better at work with the longer hair but I feel like an imposter. I appreciate any input.

Serious question.. I’m based near Portsmouth, 49F and have found no one over 40, anywhere at all.

Plenty of women looking for a ‘third’ to spice up their marriage! Definitely not into that…

It genuinely seems to be a barren land - I am not at all outdoorsy, so the usual hiking/walking groups suggestion is not for me - not all lesbians like donning a fleece and making their way up a mountain, contrary to popular belief - I would just like to find some like minded people, meet for coffee maybe and have a good old chat.

I’m assuming I’m alone in this..

So I matched with a woman on tinder who lives up the country- only 3 hours by train which I know in lesbian terms isn’y a huge distance. We’ve been getting to know eachother via phone calls, voice notes ect for the past few weeks and she’s planning to come down for a date next weekend. She’s incredibly intelligent, funny, and from what I’ve seen so far, kind and caring. And she’s also ridiculously beautiful. But I’m really stressed about the distance and am actually tempted to cut it off. Like it feels like so much pressure - she won’t be staying at my house, I said it’s better to stay in accommodation but she’s planning to come at 2pm???? So that’s an entire day and evening and maybe night if things go well for a first date. That’s too much for me. I don’t know how to say that in a way that is not hurtful.
Also it feels like more of an *event* than a date because we’ve been talking so long. Usually I like to ask for a first date within a day of talking or a few messages.

Does anyone have any suggestions to make this less overwhelming or is this just a sign long distance is not for me?

Hey ich bin Hanna 23 lesbisch und aus Deutschland☺️! Ältere Frauen sind meinere Meinung einfach attraktiver sie wissen was sie möchten🥰 Grenze würde ich sagen ist wenn sie max. 50 jahre alt. Traut euch und schreibt etwas in die kommentare und ich schreibe euch🥰🥰 Ich würde mich darauf freuen🤗

Hello......not sure if I can be in here or not, I really don't like to label myself a lesbian but it seems I am somewhere in the middle. Even though I have been married, actually twice, I find I am no longer really attracted to men sexually and I no longer feel a connection with men emotionally anymore. I feel like I am bisexual, mostly leaning towards women. Just wondering if other women out there feel like this? I do find myself attracted to other femme women, as I am very femme as well.

Ups, downs, and everything in between. I want to know how long-term lesbian relationships last in real life

OK this feels like the dumbest question I have ever asked but I want to understand how others think of it. I am a little more on the soft butch or chapstick side. I haven't dated anyone who is femme and/or wears makeup in 25 years.

I'm recently back on the apps. I am giving femmes a try again. I am dating someone who wears foundation and lipstick and I absolutely hate the smell and the way it feels on my skin. I can't wait to go into the bathroom to wash it off. She's nice though, and I would like to continue seeing her. I am also trying to meet other people (the person I am seeing is not local and understands we aren't exclusive). I am mostly seeing femmes come up as potential matches on the apps.

I feel like requesting someone not wear makeup when it's their norm is a really crappy thing to do. But it almost feels like a total dealbreaker. I will flip past anyone who clearly wears and loves makeup, but sometimes I can't tell.

If you wear makeup, have you ever had someone ask you not to wear certain things? I really don't think it's my place to ask this of someone, but in this season of life, I would rather care about something like emotional and physical chemistry than makeup. Maybe I just need to let it go and wait for a sensible shoed, short haired, former softball player queen to be part of my life.

I’m 20 and I haven’t come out to my parents. Even tho I’m not considering doing that formally (straight people don’t have to so why do I?), I sometimes wonder if their disapproval would be that important once I’m independent. I rarely hear adults mentioning their parents so I have a feeling I will probably be fine with it.
Buttt I like knowing others experiences

A few years ago, I shared a house with another woman who behaved strangely towards me, as if she hated and despised me or had some impression of me, but at the same time felt attracted to me or enjoyed my company. We talked (we went out several times and even talked about traveling together). I gave her some hints that we would be good together, but I felt a certain discomfort on her part. However, when I distanced myself, she would come looking for me to talk.

I noticed that she also got jealous when she saw me with a guy I was dating. In addition, I noticed a tension on her part when I was near, or a glint in her eye when she looked at me. Other times, I caught her looking at me without saying anything. Once she said she would kiss me "after a few drinks" or asked me if I wanted to be a couple with her so we could cook together (this happened in front of other people, and I think it was just to see my reaction and if I was giving clues that I liked women).

Sometimes I felt a certain chemistry between us, but I always thought it was all in my head because she insisted she was straight and even made some homophobic comments that irritated me. It could even be that she liked feeling desired by a bisexual or lesbian woman, and that fed her ego.

So, I decided to distance myself as much as possible, only talking to her when absolutely necessary. Since we lived with other people, we could minimize our interaction, and that's what I did because whenever that happens with a straight woman, I distance myself.

But she kept trying to get my attention. Once, when I spoke to her a little harshly, she looked at me with bright, sad puppy-dog eyes (I can't explain it), or another time when I spoke to her and she trembled.

I thought she liked me but didn't want to admit it, so I sent her a message saying I liked her a lot. She didn't reply, but I found out she showed the messages to other people in the house because one of them was teasing her. I went to her to tell her that the message was a joke, especially since nothing had ever happened between us and that I only liked her as a friend, not as a woman. She said she knew that and even called me psychotic (strange). In the end, I asked her to stop with the comments. Things stayed like that.

She wouldn't leave my head.
When we were already living in different houses, I mustered up the courage and sent a message saying that I was in love with her and that I thought she felt the same way about me. She called me ridiculous, crazy, and I received messages from two former housemates telling me to leave her alone and to shut up.

I told her that her reaction was unnecessary and if I tried to talk about the subject, she kept saying that I was rude and even said that we were never friends, that she didn't identify with me, and that she didn't want me in her life. I didn't understand why she was reacting that way. We still exchanged a few words, but she must have thought that I wanted to insist on the subject and continued saying that it bothered her. I asked her if I bothered her so much, why didn't she block me, and she blocked me without saying anything else.

I found the way she treated me unfair and cruel, and the bullying I received from her and other people. I decided to write a letter to her boss (she's a doctor) denouncing her as a homophobic and prejudiced person. I received a letter from her lawyer saying it was all defamation. There was no formal complaint, no lawsuit. I never saw her again in my life. It's been 11 years, but I still remember her.

How do you fellow femmes meet people out in the wild? I am definitely femme presenting and very much love women. But I think sometimes it’s hard to attract women when they don’t necessarily know that you’re a lesbian. I feel like we’re both looking at each other like should I? Would she be open to it? And there are a lot of missed connections. I don’t personally have a “type” that I go for but I have had better luck with masc presenting women because I don’t hesitate to initiate conversation once i feel like it’s welcomed. What experiences have you had with this?