r/parentsofmultiples • u/FigNewton613 • 5h ago
advice needed Daycare drop off help please
Today at pick up my 14mo’s teacher told me the daycare has decided I need to walk my babies in together from the stroller at the same time. As she spoke I truly felt the soul leave my body.
What I have been doing is, stroll them both in, park the stroller in the hall (it is enclosed and in full view of the main office which always has a staff person), and carry one baby into the classroom then come back for the other baby.
I want to respect their policy but what happens in any other setting when I try to get the babies (okay toddlers but I’m in denial) to walk anywhere with me is they (a) do not, (b) run in opposite directions, (c) tantrum.
I assume this is something I’ll get better at with time but I am at a loss. Do you all have any advice for walking two 14mo’s (they do at least walk) over to a classroom door that they absolutely do not want to enter given that they know it is drop off time.
Help
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u/Basher_Tarr 4h ago
I would ask them how other twin parents handle drop-off. If it’s a problem for them, they should suggest a possible solution.
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u/whydoyouflask 3h ago
I would ask. "Why don't you show me how you would do it?" We hone our routines through a lot of trial and error. I would be livid if my kids teacher was going to tell how I should transport my twins.
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u/Brilliant_Internet_4 4h ago
Its going to go great some days and be a nightmare other days, but I think let the staff see it, and support you. Dont put pressure on yourself to make it go well every day. Occasionally mine are such nightmares in the daycare hallway I have to pretend to be a 'mummy penguin' and get them to waddle along behind me. A good ' go and show mrs so and so your new hair band/socks/crazy knees etc' sometimes gets them in. And some days its just chaos. Im wondering if there is a subreddit of daycare workers who give advice. You could try asking there. Also Im seriously confused why they are no longer cool with you bringing the stroller in.
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u/BumCadillac 4h ago
There is. It might be called early childhood education or something like that but it’s for daycare and preschool ages.
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u/holiday_vibe 4h ago
I use a carrier for this! But also leash backpacks are a godsend for the toddlin’-but-not-listening era.
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u/HuckleberryThin5395 3h ago
Twin dad here - we have never had anyone tell us how to handle our kids. If anything the staff at schools we’ve used are accommodating and helpful. I’d like to believe this is a misunderstanding or something - maybe ask for clarification. Are they concerned for the safety of the kid in the stroller (I assume this is a secure facility and you’re using buckles in the stroller) or do they want this to be a learning opportunity for the kids? Or something else. Perhaps they can help you bring the kids in - teachers have always done that for our kids. Greeting at the classroom door is normal.
If you don’t feel supported get the heck out of there, if you can. Being a twin parent is HARD and a school is there to help you and your kids.
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u/Redwarrior11 4h ago
Are you currently pushing both in a double stroller and then taking one out at a time because the double is too big to fit in the room? Could you get a compact travel single stroller to push in one while you hold the other on your hip? You would just need a simple single stroller that can be pushed with one hand. Mine are slightly younger and barely walking, but I wear one in a front carrier and hold the other one on my hip, I think the carrier maxes out at like 26 pounds so I can use it a little longer. Using a small single stroller is my plan for after they grow out of the carrier.
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u/r3finedf0ol 4h ago
Take one of the car, stand her up between my legs. Take the other one out, then I put one on each hip and carry them both. I can arm bar the one in my left hand to open the actual door and then deposit both on the ground one we are in the room.
I dont use a stroller, havent since they were about 11 months honestly. Just easier to leave ho them around
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u/Infra-Oh 2h ago
Uhhhh it’s a daycare. I hate acting like an entitled Karen, but folks just don’t understand.
It gets different once it gets to actual school. Kinder and above.
But you’re the customer. I would push to meet with the site director and explain the situation.
If they refuse to budge on the strollers than ask them to make accommodations for your situation. I wouldn’t back down.
Man I know I sound like such a Karen (I’m a dad of twins btw). But if it’s just not safe or feasible than I would start with that argument.
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u/mintbark 1h ago edited 1h ago
For lots of good daycares you need them more than they need you unfortunately. I feel like they think they can do whatever and you’ll just deal. I spent half a week trying to get ahold of them because they double billed me and they hung up on me immediately every time I called because I don’t speak the language (it’s an international daycare). They’re also much further than me than my local daycares and changed locations without telling me. I can’t believe how captive I feel.
The teacher is absolutely incredible my my son is doing amazing and is bilingual after 6 months. Admin and terrible commute is the price I pay.
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u/BloodhoundSkeptic 2h ago
Whenever our Day Care made changes to policy / operations, I would just pressure test it with them and request they assist us. Day Care is expensive, we are paying them for a service, so a bit of customer service is a realistic expectation tbh. We found staff quite supportive.
I really like what some of the other comments here have suggested around asking the Day Care for a method on making it work and cooperating with them around drop-off.
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u/Vomath 3h ago
Can you pick them both up? If they’re on their BS, I’ll pick one up, unclip the other and pick him up with my other arm and walk ‘em in wherever. But, I’m a 6’2”, 200lb dude… so obvi not an option for everyone.
Carry one, walk the other?
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u/WalrusUpset 2h ago
I’m 5’6 130 pounds. This is how I’ve done it… don’t understand the point of all the extra carrier/stroller/etc to walk the 100 feet from parking into daycare. I pick one up walk to other side of car set them on the floor board unbuckle second pick both up and go inside. Acting a fool? Thrown over my shoulder like a sack of potatoes… even stacked 1 on the other. It’s all the know so they are used to it. I do notice that since most others (grandmas, dad, etc) don’t “man handle” them they seem to push limits and act more crazy with others. That ain’t flying with mom.
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u/candybrie 3h ago
Are you still allowed to walk into the building with the stroller? If so, they're likely safe even if they do run in opposite directions. So you just kind of do it and let it be chaos while they get used to it. Maybe someone helps you. Maybe the person who decided you can't do this will take it back. Maybe they get good at walking with you.
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u/Sweetskills 3h ago
Exactly this. Go let it be chaotic and if it’s as bad as you say it’s gonna be I bet they change their tune or offer a better more helpful solution.
Also maybe start practicing walking holding hands and teaching them they need to not pull away and such. We started that with our twins pretty much as soon as they could walk and they picked up on the whole idea very quickly. Loved feeling like “big kids” I know you said they also don’t enjoy drop off so all the practice in the world may not help so in that case…leashes.
But truly push back on the school a little bit. It’s likely you will only need to do this a couple more months before they will walk nicely with you so why do they feel the need to stress you and the whole routine?
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u/DynamicDuoMama 3h ago
We did leashes with our twins. I didn’t have to to do daycare drop offs but for going literally anywhere they were a must. Mine were runners and had no fear. They would run into traffic in opposite directions. Once in front of our house I had to gently kick one into the grass so I could chase the other one down carry her back like a football to get back to the other before she got up take off running again. Luckily we live on a quiet street but it scared the crap out of me. We had been having a lovely morning drawing on the driveway with chalk and they decided to test my sanity and endurance all while laughing mind you. Ordered leashes never looked back. They were adorable and had fairy wings. We also later got unicorn stuffy ones and dinosaur backpacks. They loved them. They filled the backpacks with snacks and random toys/rocks. Honestly very few people judged and if they did just said they like to run in opposite directions and I cant pick a favorite.
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u/Dear_Excitement_5109 1h ago
This is ludicrous. I am angry just reading it. I would want to know what exactly the problem is with parking a stroller for 20 seconds and ask them how they think you should transport two poorly walking toddlers.
My twins are 15mo and we take the double stroller EVERYWHERE. Theres no way I would be willing to carry 2 babies and both their belongings when I have a perfectly good stroller that could carry all the stuff for me.
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u/wotty_wa 5h ago
I lift one of my daughters out of the car. I sit her on the sidewalk. I then open the door closest to the sidewalk to grab my second daughter to place her down. With each daughter side by side I squat down to pick one up in my right and then grab the second in my left arm. Hug them tightly. I then rely on using a few fingers on my right hand and my legs to open gates, type in key codes etc. to enter the school (daycare is in the local public school). I’m a six foot man with decent wingspan. My 20-month olds aren’t walking yet. They take a few steps, climb everything in sight but will not walk. They’re stilly gooses. This entire time my 4-year old is, thankfully, well behaved and walks beside me. My wife does not have such a smooth drop off and pick up process. We both look forward to when drop off is “normal”.
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u/megnificenttoast 3h ago
My husband and I have 3 the same ages as yours. This was how I do it too. Or 1 on my hip, one in a carrier car seat you can intermittently sit down to open doors. Then head back out to the car to bring anything in I couldn’t get or dropped during the first trip. I’m 5’3”. Some days are ugly and my back will never be right again but it gets done
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u/pottersprincess 3h ago
I used to walk my kids in a stroller and now they ride on my bike.
Even when I would get a ride from my family I often take them in myself. I can carry both in a pinch if I get help with doors, but mostly I just keep a really firm grip on hands. Once we are inside I tell them it's a race to get to the room first and that mostly works.
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u/Specialist-Syrup418 2h ago
Husband and I carried our twins until they were 2.5 if we had to ( not listening etc.). You can always go back and get their stuff after.
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u/LeeLooPoopy 2h ago
This is ridiculous. Our preschool sent a teacher out to the car to collect my preschooler cause my twin babies were too hard to carry inside!
That aside - you can teach them to walk with you, but it takes a lot of practice. I can confirm though that it’ll make your life easier when you have full blown toddlers who run.
At home, practice walking beside you while holding your hand. Make it fun. If they run, put them in the highchair to watch while you continue to walk with your other twin.
You can also do this at the park. Take them out and ask them to hold the stroller. If they run, strap them in the stroller and keep walking. They’ll get upset they lost the freedom.
Do this regularly. Like, every day. It’ll take months or practice. But I’m telling you, it’s worth the effort now because you life is only going to get harder!!
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