Beautiful Ebony Angel —
Creator and Destroyer.
How You haunt me.
Above me once, the storm gathered —
wings like blades in black wind — screaming, spinning, the sky alive with grief — foretelling shadow.

A Mother.
A Father.
Infinite longing, anguish, fear and anger —
torment born from Sons lost,
poured into the living Daughter.
She is what we could not bury —
a wondrous incarnation shaped by sorrow, a paradox of hope and ache.
A miracle — and a burden.

Raven, let me go…

Beautiful Ebony Angel —
Messenger and Love-Lost Trickster —
with Your shared spirit.
A fleeting touch, a gesture,
a soothing warmth —
mistaken perhaps, for promise.
This yearning born of absence clings to threads of memory —
of children briefly held, of love never to be.

Who dares inflict such cruel irony —
to be tethered through Your improbable signal —
this divine echo?

Raven, let me go…

Beautiful Ebony Angel —
Light Bearer and Prophet.
A torn heart longs to heal.
To cut the thread that binds loss to the Living:
unraveled mind, fractured connection, hollowed will —
the unwanted ending.
No peace, no clarity — no self.

No longing can make real what never came to be.
And yet Your presence lingers —
a comfort, a weight, a hope.
As with Yours —
these Souls, not mine to hold.
Only Your release,
Beautiful Shadow,
can free the Miracle,
the Mother, the Father —
and Thee.

Let go the Raven.

Saying no can be one of the hardest things people do. My heart starts to beat with guilt, and my head overflows with unrooted thoughts that race to imagine the worst possibilities. The loved ones I hold close turn unrecognizable as my brain twists the kind words that escape their mouths.

For me and many other people, that’s the truth. It can consume who you are when the world screams that it’s selfish. Everyone has been young and naive. Kids are taught to give up their self worth for a couple comfortable seconds, the absence of a simple word molding their minds into an unhealthy collection of worthlessness. Saying no isn’t selfish, when protecting the parts of yourself that deserve to remain yours.

The healthy idea of saying no didn’t even enter my mind until I saw a simple TikTok. A woman dressed in warm colored clothing resting on her bed, spilling soft words. There was a gentle acceptance in hearing her say, “It’s not selfish to prioritize your well being,” something I should have heard long before. Many dreadful years of silence left guilt ripping with anger through my mind, mourning the innocent kid I let die.

Unearned trust no longer needed to flee the inevitable void of disrespect. The unspoken phrases buried safely in my skin ceased their repetitive silence. My mouth forgot the years that were taken by childish insecurities. There was safety in not needing to let pieces of myself rot with regret for someone else’s ego.

The morning rays of the sun sat on my tangled blanket, buried beneath my legs. My phone next to me was filled with exhausting messages from people who could never care. The screen glared its blue light onto my skin as my eyes read, “Call me.” I watched as the last hope of a moment that lived for me became someone else’s, knowing my lips would forget each other’s warmth for the hope of love.

My finger stopped before my heart could settle its discomfort into another unspoken thought. I stared at the word “No” typed onto my phone and nervously sent it. All the feelings that always clawed through my head never came. The soft voice in my head reminded me that saying no could be one of the easiest things people do when they realize they don’t owe anyone their comfort.

Poetry novice, coming through.

With summer now behind us, I’m facing a second winter alone since my wife passed last May, one without widower/grief stuff like I had to handle last year, without the sense that she is here and without her as my “blanket”, I have Seasonal Affective Disorder and I’m constantly growing anxious and neurotic by the day, so I wrote a thing.

I hope I can count on your contempt like I do for the next six months.

I was stuck in an impatience madness,
Searching for saints;
After committing many mistakes,
I understood, it’s all because of me.

Still, I don't understand.
What is patience?
When do we need patience?

After too many searches,
In need of an answer,
I asked Valluvan - a philosophical Tamil poet.

Read full poem: https://deepankb.com/en/journal/envious-toward-patience/

Languages: Tamil and English