r/predaddit • u/_arthur-morgan10_ • 1d ago
Advice needed I need advice
First off I want to apologize if anything comes out wrong or disrespectful or even just dumb. But this feels more like a rant that anything, I’m hoping this reaches the right audience and maybe some Catholics (as I am)
For context my gf is 18 weeks pregnant, during the first trimester I wasn’t the best help mostly bc I had no idea what was going on but now I’m better at least I think, I know I’m not perfect and sometimes can be super stubborn and hard headed but even my gf has admitted she is too.
Now for the main event, i understand hormones are all over the place but sometimes she just says she doesn’t care about me or my opinion when i try to comment anything. For example she wanted to go to ACL festival during October and I mentioned that might not be a good idea because it’s a crowded event and something could happen to the baby or her (to prove my point while at dinner this past week we had to run to the ER nothing major but yall get my point) well she suggested to let her know to sell my ticket because she’s going either way. Part of me wants to talk to her parents but then again (she’s kind of daddy’s girl ) and feel like he’ll say well if you can’t put up with her she’ll find someone else.
Like I said I honestly just need some advice and hope to navigate this as best as I can. I want to be the best dad and husband God willing !
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u/Primary_Excuse_7183 20h ago
Imean she’s pregnant that doesn’t mean she has to do nothing. Let her be the one to tell you what she’s comfortable doing. Some women don’t want to be out and about. They feel tired a lot (rightfully so) others want to keep on pushing with their normal lives.
My wife and I went out tailgating and to college football games last year at 30+ weeks pregnant because she wanted to go and felt up to it. If she wants to go…go and have a good time be there for her. Don’t impose limits on her she’s not putting on herself.
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u/_arthur-morgan10_ 18h ago
Honesty I never thought about it this way😅so I really appreciate for making me see this POV I guess I just worry about it bc I wouldn’t want anything bad to happen but I will definitely try to do better again thanks
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u/Primary_Excuse_7183 18h ago
I get it you’re being cautious but you can’t be more cautious than her. I’m sure she knows the and doesn’t want anything bad to happen either. That doesn’t mean she’s going to do a rager at the festival. But she doesn’t want to feel like she’s sitting on the sideline. She wants to enjoy her last few months of not having the responsibilities that come with having a kid. And rightfully so because it is a BIG change 😂 you can still have fun with them just much more to consider.
We also took our baby to college football tailgates at 2 months. had a great time 😂
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u/_arthur-morgan10_ 18h ago
ahhh okay see I guess I just think otherwise because of the fact that I’m working and going to school, we’re not married or living together so part of me felt like she just didn’t care because she didn’t want anything w me anymore, but I will try because i definitely see myself taking my little girl to places and what not
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u/DietAny5009 17h ago
lol you’re going to call her parents. How old are you?
Her body her choice. You can discuss and share your opinions but you can’t control her. If you feel like she’s endangering the child then call the cops.
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u/_arthur-morgan10_ 14h ago
One thing here both of us have very good relationship with both parents, so let’s flip it. If I was doing something she didn’t like and she knows I won’t listen to her wouldn’t it be wise to mention it to my parents. Again I’m not saying it’s not her body and she shouldn’t have a choice what I’m asking is to consider my feelings on this or other matters, it is my kid as well or are you saying since the kid is growing in her body and not mine it’s not ?
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u/DietAny5009 14h ago
Sure flip it. She thinks you are partying too much. You think she is going to call your mom to have her do what? Yell at you? Ground you? Take away your tv privileges? Involving parents in your romantic relationships is silly.
She should listen to your thoughts and opinions. You should listen to hers. At the end of the day, you don’t control her. She has the voting majority.
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u/_arthur-morgan10_ 14h ago
Well I did mention I was a bit stubborn so now I do see your point I just thought not by “tattle telling” but mentioning it could help. Nonetheless now I do see what you’re saying so I really appreciate it
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u/tiorzol 1d ago
How can you be Catholic and have a girlfriend that's pregnant.
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u/_arthur-morgan10_ 20h ago
Just became I’m Catholic doesn’t mean I’m perfect, yes I fell into sin and have made mistakes that doesn’t mean I stop being Catholic. One example is when Peter one of the closest apostles denies Jesus 3 times, and yet Jesus forgave and asked him do you love me. Hoping it clears up some confusion
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u/videoreditor 1d ago
I'm not Catholic, but I'll give this my best shot.
It sounds like you both need to sit down and talk for a little while. Her telling you that she doesn't care what you think, you seemingly wanting to (for lack of a better word) tattle on her to her parents, her not fully embracing the lifestyle change that pregnancy requires... I'm sensing that y'all are very young and may need some help that Reddit just cannot provide. This could be in the form of a couples therapist that can help mediate areas where you're not in alignment or, at the very least, teach some better communication methods. It could also be a couple you both know and respect that have kids who can correct any false assumptions you both have about how this is going to play out. I'd avoid people who shrug off your concerns with things like "If you can't handle her she'll find someone else." That's one wildly unhelpful take.
Just take some deep breaths. It's going to get so much harder from here, but so much more beautiful. Now is the time to get on the same page because by the time you're in the trenches it'll be too late to learn how to talk to each other in any meaningful productive way.
Good luck sir.