It's all pointless

[u/SessionRough1336]

Had a bit of a relapse last Wednesday in regards to slots after staying away for a year. Won in and around 1700 but threw it away and ended up 100 up. Was annoyed at myself but took it on the chin. Fast forward yesterday today where I deposited 1000 and somehow managed to get it up to 8500. Woke up this morning and proceeded to spin it all away and end up withdrawing at 3000. Yes I know I'm up 2000 dollars. I'm left the house to clear the head and I'm at a coffee shop and going to purchase a book titled 'Dopamine Nation' to hopefully gain some insight into why I'm actually doing this and how to stop.

I want you think about that I'm here buying a self help book after still winning 2000. That's how this shit messes with your head. I would advise anyone reading this regardless of how strong you think you are mentally you will fall into the trap of pressing that button until your balance keeps dropping and dropping. The casino sites give you a taste and a good run sometimes. It's all a trap so you keep going and deposit more trying to chase those losses. Ever click into that game and win the 'free spin' feature? Then the next game you pick you've somehow managed to get the free spin feature again? Suddenly your on cloud 9 watching all that balance rise... The whole thing is designed to give you an injection of dopamine that we can't cope with, I know that, I'm literally typing it and making sense I know yet I still can't fully walk away and gave them back the money they 'loaned' me to the tune of 5500. It hurts bad I know and you feel like scumbag degenerate. Look you can either wallow in self pity or just realise that even if you cleared some debt or done whatever with the money you will be depositing again soon enough and find yourself in the exact same position and most likely even worse debt.

To summarise over the last 7 days I've won a total sum of 2100 dollars and my head is a mess. You know what I mean, the thoughts of clearing some minor debt perhaps, what you could of spent the money on, how much of an idiot you are, ignoring friends and family etc the list goes on and on. What I'm getting at is the whole thing is so layered and we as people just aren't designed to comprehend it all and you can bet your last dollar *excuse the pun* that the casino knows all this and hoping you just keep chasing and chasing forever.

Stay away from slots everybody. They will honestly change your personality and leave you with a constant negative mindset even if you win, that's not me talking shit you know secretly that's how they make you feel. Now I'm off to buy that book folks. Just wanted to share this incase your struggling and needed a kick up the ass!

End the game now and turn your focus back on the real game which is fucking life folks. The chances of you been even born was like 4 billion to 1. We already won mate, we can scramble around at the bottom, collecting your monopoly coins and losing them and repeating the cycle over and over or you can wake up and go to work or if your unemployed get a job. 1 day at a time okay. Fuck the negativity, it's your brain and your in control. Remember that! Be kind to people and be positive. We have this okay.

Hope I helped someone who's feeling messed up and gave them some positivity. Let's the change the mindset folks🙂

P. S any other book recommendations are highly recommended because now I want educate myself so this never happens again.

[u/AutoModerator]

Hey there, our Automoderator detected keywords that suggest you might be looking for help.

Please take a moment to look at our F.A.Q., which contains some definitions and basic recovery strategies.

Don't forget to check out our resources section, which continues to grow.

If you believe this message was inappropriate, please message the mods and let them know.

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

[u/Typical-Rooster6562]

Great post. Went through a total pointless exercise today and needed to read that.

It does really fuck with your head that you can still be “up” but feel sick , totally warped

[u/SessionRough1336 → u/Typical-Rooster6562]

Thank you hoped it helped you gain some clarity. I wanted to add I know the post is different from others here but it's important to remember that it can be just as hard to walk away when things are going well in the middle of playing. Next time that happens just stop for a moment and take a break, during that break weigh up all the things that your winnings could be used for and then withdraw. Now after you withdraw and you get the urge again you have to let that feeling wash over you and by that I mean there could be a 10 minute period where you wake up in the morning and have a thought about gambling and your brain starts to convince you that this time you'll be smarter and all this nonsense, DON'T CAVE.... trust me when you don't give in and that feeling subsides treat it as a victory and be proud of yourself for being mentally strong and learn from it. Even now its early morning here while I'm writing this and that urge happened to me when I woke up, I didn't try fight it I let the thought have it's moment while I carried on making coffee and then I started to just watch YouTube and got distracted. Remember what I said, we aren't capable of dealing with earning thousands of dollars in a matter of seconds, that's not a normal reward system for the brain and you'll keep damaging it if you keep doing this to yourself, the cravings will reduce I promise you. Stay strong.