r/psychoanalysis • u/This_Ad9129 • 8d ago

patience with psychoanalysis

As a patient, how does one keep faith that psychoanalysis will help when the process is years long and often involves investing thousands of dollars? And there are many reports of analysts discussing how one case or another went wrong or they could not progress even after many years.

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36

u/goldenapple212 8d ago

You should be getting something out of the sessions, even if it’s small, after at least the first few sessions. Doesn’t have to be a great insight, it could be that you feel connected to the analyst, it could feel that you’re interested in yourself in a new way. But there should be something that feels compelling.

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u/thefriendlyhacker 7d ago

Spent over $10k on a few months of 2-4x a week, I honestly don't recognize my ways of thinking prior to the analysis. I had to stop because I got broke and my insurance only covered up to $80/session 😭 but if I could continue, I definitely would. It was also difficult sometimes to leave work for "lunch" and end up bawling afterwards or shaking and then walking back to work pretending everything is normal.

I also am a firm believer in paying for time between analysis. The session could be very quick but I often find myself reflecting heavily between sessions

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u/goldenapple212 7d ago

Thanks for sharing. I don't know if you're aware, but you can go to many psychoanalytic institutes and offer to work with their candidates, often at a very low fee.

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u/thefriendlyhacker 7d ago

Yeah, I just wanted to use one of the best, I'm not gonna disclose their name but they are world famous and I was shocked they accepted me as an analysand

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u/goldenapple212 6d ago

Have you discussed your finances issue with them? Maybe they can accommodate you. Or you should ask them for a recommendation for someone who can.

A few months with someone world famous is not anywhere near as good as many years with an ordinary, but good enough psychoanalyst.

Don't let the perfect be the enemy of the good.

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u/Infinite_Bus4642 2d ago

Thats also my oppinion to go to the best. You could also consider jungian which is once a week and go to the best.

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u/tyinsf 8d ago

As a former analysand I would suggest that you dare to share whatever is coming up for you in the moment, raw and fresh and unguarded. Like "I just had a feeling of sadness thinking about my mother cooking dinner." And avoid conceptual theorizing like "Last night I was thinking about my mother and I think I know why these feelings come up and I think..."

There's something in Tibetan Buddhism called lhundrup, spontaneously arising. The value of the process of free association for me seems to be in learning to relax into whatever arises, no matter how unacceptable it seems. The analyst models unconditional positive regard and evenly suspended attention for us. Over time we incorporate it. I think that's what heals. But IANAP!

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u/Level-Ad9570 8d ago

Nothing substantial to add except that sometimes doubts are therapy material. One might be thinking he might be better off with another therapist, with another modality or whatever. He might as well really be better with someone else, but it’s also likely that this has something to do with the way they are operating.

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u/Ok-Rule9973 8d ago

I think that even if you cannot access the core issues, you should feel some sort of change after a year or so.

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u/ThreeFerns 8d ago

It shouldn't take years for something to happen even if it takes years to get to where you want to be

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u/garddarf 8d ago

I think a lot of progress depends on developing a psychoanalytic attitude toward the work. Resistance is the prime material, but if they can get a sense of how to lower defenses, progress may be seen sooner. Have them read Schopenhauer's Porcupines (Luepnitz) or somesuch.

Also I'm a lay person who has not been able to source analysis for myself, I'm working on my own. YMMV.

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u/Nahs1l 6d ago

By talking to your analyst about it, I’d say.

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u/diva_done_did_it 8d ago

(1) Assess your analyst’s humility. This doesn’t have to be over years. Winnicott allegedly indicated he didn’t know with his famous analysts (Guntrip and Little).
(2) If you have access to them anyway, read your medical records. They should tell you what your analyst thinks you are working on, and what you have made progress on. (Like Yalom)
(3) As the other reply said, self-assess your ability to bring material into session. Are your free associations more freely given? Why or why not?

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u/diva_done_did_it 8d ago

(Also, feel free to ask some other r/psycho_analysands)

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u/This_Ad9129 8d ago

Oof, the thread over there of people in analysis for years and years does... not give me hope

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u/diva_done_did_it 8d ago

Yeah, if you want only a quick fix, analysis is not for you.

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u/This_Ad9129 8d ago

Not the same as what I said. There is a lot of possibility between a "quick fix" and still feeling stuck after years.

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u/diva_done_did_it 8d ago

It is included in, but not the only thing amongst, what you said.