I genuinely thought that there was no way out for me. That was a lie.

I still can’t believe I made it.
In 14 days, I will be one year clean from all drugs.
A year ago, I couldn’t even imagine my life being this beautiful. I was scared. I relied on drugs to mask my pain, to numb the things I didn’t know how to face. Back then, I couldn’t see a life beyond addiction. I couldn’t picture myself happy, healthy, or genuinely proud of who I was becoming.
But here I am.
Almost one year clean.
I made the conscious decision to get clean that day, and I stuck to it. No relapse. Not even temptation.
I had to make some big decisions for myself. I had to walk away from people I knew and cut ties with an entire lifestyle. Not because it was easy, and not because I hated anyone, but because I knew what was best for me. The lifestyle, the mentality, the environment—it all had to go.
I had to choose myself.
And I am so proud of myself for being strong enough to ask for help, to make the hard decisions, and to do what I had to do for my own life.
Getting clean is one of my biggest accomplishments.
The closer I get to one year, the happier I become. I can finally say that I made it an entire year. And in that year, I have grown in ways I never thought were possible.
When you’re deep in addiction, it’s hard to see life after the drug. It’s hard to imagine happiness without the thing you’ve convinced yourself you need to survive.
But I promise you, life after addiction can be beautiful.
I never want drugs to take over my life again. I chose to get clean from everything because I knew if I was going to do this, I was going to do it right.
The hardest part wasn’t necessarily staying clean. The hardest part was picking up the pieces left behind from the wreckage I created during active addiction.
I had to face things I had spent years running from.
I had to learn how to live without masking my pain.
Almost a year later, I have sorted through so much, and I’m still working on myself every single day.
Learning how to face life without something to numb the pain is hard. It’s like having a broken leg with no pain medicine—you feel everything. You have to work through it. You have to find healthy ways to cope. You have to sit with feelings you once would have done anything to escape.
And some days are harder than others.
But I don’t give up.
Not anymore.
A year ago, I was surviving.
Today, I’m living.
And in 14 days, I get to say something I once never believed I would be able to say:
I made it one whole year clean.
And damn, am I proud of the woman who decided she was worth saving.

In overdose prevention and recovery work, we're constantly translating lived experience into reports, recommendations, policy conversations, and public education.

Sometimes it's worth stepping back and hearing the stories themselves.

That's what Brave Recovery: The Women Impacted is about.

Over the next few weeks, we'll be sharing conversations with women from different backgrounds whose lives have been shaped by recovery, overdose, caregiving, advocacy, and systems that often weren't built with them in mind.

What I hope people take away isn't one particular point of view.

I hope they see that lived experience isn't a footnote to this work. It's one of our most valuable forms of expertise.

If these first stories resonate with you, come back next Tuesday. Then the Tuesday after that.

The goal wasn't to create a campaign. It was to create a place where people could listen.

https://www.advocacyincubator.org/brave-recovery

I thought I would be stuck in this tunnel for the rest of my life. Every turn I made, it felt like I had a shovel in my hands, digging myself into a deeper hole while desperately trying to find my way out.
I wanted to see the sun every day, but somehow I only knew how to keep digging through the mud.
It got so bad at one point that I didn’t think I could climb out of the hole I had dug for myself. I was so worried about everything that didn’t matter. Everything was breaking me. I told myself I was trying to “better myself,” but in reality, I was only finding new ways to keep myself stuck.
I knew I was going downhill rapidly, and somehow, I still didn’t have the strength to jump out of the ditch.
I would tell myself, “Tomorrow will be different. Maybe tomorrow I’ll fight the battle.”
Just one more time.
One more day.
“If I just do it one more time, I can catch up on everything. I can get so much done. Just one more day.”
Until one more day could have been my last day.
Eventually, I made the decision to force myself out in a way I knew worked for me. I had been here before, but this time I had so much more to lose. I was deeper than I had ever been before. The stakes were higher.
For so long, I couldn’t see life without my daily crutch. What would my life even look like? What about all the people I would lose?
It seemed like a no-brainer.
Get clean.
Get out.
Walk away.
But the truth is, getting clean was the easy part for me.
No temptation.
No cravings.
No steps back.
I was in the clear.
So I should start seeing the sun now, right?
Slowly, I put the dirt back into the hole I had dug for myself. I started climbing back toward level ground. The path should have been clear. The brain fog should have lifted.
That should have been the hard part.
The rest should have been a walk in the park, right?
But God, how wrong I was.
Because my life had to change in so many more ways than I ever expected.
It’s the slow days with nothing to fill the gaps.
The sadness.
The loneliness.
The days where you still have to show up, but you have nothing inside of you pushing you to get there.
Every day, I am thankful for the decision I made to get clean. It’s such a huge accomplishment. I did it.
But boy, that was the easy part.
Learning how to live a sober life is what I struggle with.
Not the drug.
I could care less about the drug. I could care less about how it made me feel or what it was doing to me.
But no one tells you how hard it is to learn how to handle life naturally.
You have to face the things you spent so long trying to hide from.
You have to uncover and bury the things you tried to run away from.
You have to survive the days where you don’t have much fight left, but you still have to show up because life doesn’t slow down just because you’re battling yourself.
Life doesn’t show grace as if it knows about your growth or your success.
It still makes you face the days you messed up.
The days you wish you didn’t have to remember.
The people who are no longer part of your story.
The moments of embarrassment.
The ugly moments.
The version of yourself you became while the drug was in full control.
And now you have to sit with that version of yourself sober.
And for me, that’s the hardest part.
I want to forgive.
I want to forget.
I want to move on.
I don’t like being stuck in the ugly that the drugs left behind.
Because just because I’m clean doesn’t mean the battles are over.
I think, in some ways, it means they’re just getting started.
The drug was never going to be the thing that saved me.
But when I finally put it down, I had to meet the person underneath it all.
And now I have to learn how to love her enough to stay.

I’ll never forget my last 7 day run and the mental state I was in a year ago. I was homeless smoking alone, jumping from hotel to hotel. Had sold everything that was worth anything. Hurt everyone I love. And the voices were becoming louder and louder, I was literally running from shadow people all the way up until I got to the rehab. If I can do this anybody can. Thank God for AA. I’m living a life worth living

I’m feeling a bit conflicted about this and I’d like to hear from people in recovery.

Last night I was at a work party where pretty much everyone was extremely drunk or high. I stayed busy making pizza for most of the night and didn’t drink or use any drugs.

At some point I got really bored with the whole situation. Someone had poppers, and after reading that they don’t produce the kind of intoxication associated with alcohol, weed or cocaine, I became curious and took half a hit.

It made me feel dizzy/light-headed for a few seconds. I didn’t feel mentally altered, and I didn’t take any more.

I don’t feel like I should reset my sobriety counter, but I also don’t want to minimize what happened or pretend it didn’t happen.

For me, sobriety has meant staying away from alcohol, weed, cocaine and the other drugs I used to get high. This doesn’t feel like a relapse to me, but it was still a choice to use a substance, and I’m trying to be honest with myself about it.

Tonight there’s another goodbye party with the same people, and even though I’m not sleeping, I decided not to go. I think that’s probably a better choice for me right now.

How would you look at this if it happened to you? Would you consider it a relapse, a slip, or something else?

My last relapse was with crk short but intense, this subreddit gave me lots of support.

Vipassana meditation has been a key factor in my recovery.

Unfortunately I'm still stuck in hospitality but I'm determined to not be back in this environment and I'll be extremely strict with the people I get in touch with.

The pizza was very good by the way but yeah, I feel a bit of shame with myself but considering I was into ck and in the last almost three years I've hit the pipe three days in a row with a maximum usage of 4 grams I can see I might see the light.

In September I'll be in a mediation center for 20 days and then I'll fly to Thailand and Sri Lanka to study more Buddhism and especially meditation.

Let's say I've ended up with this job because the mayor relapsed I previously had. I've been working 240 hours a month for 3 months so I'm pretty satisfied with myself but now I have this inner voice that tells me that I could not manage to say sober.

But after all the drugs I've used popper to me is still a bullshit high and still makes me wonder why and how people pay money for it.

GHB ok, It's really messy but popper ? By the way. Thank you for your attention. I love you all

Years ago I quit H by myself. Just cut off connects, went through withdrawal, didn’t touch an opiate for 6 years. This year I relapsed, started using 7oh and started smoking a ton of hard. Never fucked with crack other than one time in my teens so this was unexpected by me. I was sent the wrong order and got a ton of yay and hard on accident, downhill from there. Got a good therapist, she is pushing me to take fmla and go to inpatient. She has what she considers a couple great places that will take my insurance. I’m worried my job will catch on and come after me, and I’m worried my family will be unsupportive and just angry that I’m using again. It’s a terrifying though, but I know if things keep going this way it’s gonna get bad. I stopped smoking everyday, down to the weekends, but it’s still rough. I don’t even like this drug anymore

Looking for some feedback as I'm considering trying this. I can't go 24 hours without using 7 staxx unfortunately to jump onto subs so I was hoping to try micro dosing.

Hi! I wanted to share a little community called Beyond Surviving for anyone who might be looking for a supportive place during recovery.

We're a small Discord community built around the idea that our struggles are something we can talk about openly, but they don't have to define us.

There are spaces to talk about mental health, recovery, self-harm, eating disorders, substance abuse and other difficult things, but just as importantly, there are places for everyday life, gaming, music, pets, creativity, nature, memes and simply talking with people who understand.

One thing that's especially important to us is keeping the community recovery-focused. Graphic self-harm content isn't allowed, and we try to create an environment where people can be honest about struggling without feeling like they need to prove how badly they're struggling.

You don't have to be doing well to belong here. Bad days are welcome too. 💜

We're not professionals and nobody is expected to "fix" anyone. We're simply people supporting people, celebrating the good days and sitting beside each other through the difficult ones.

If this sounds like the kind of community you've been looking for, feel free to come by or if you have any questions then I'd be happy to answer them🦋

https://discord.gg/nQAXHZP6jf

Together we're stronger. Together we're healing.

I’ve been going through the recovery process solo and although successful I feel lost. I was a problem drinker and abused cocaine for years. I lost the best years of my life to addiction. I haven’t touched drugs in 7 years and have spent the last five years decreasing my alcohol use to almost nothing. I do have an occasional beer or two but not often. Ive been thinking of fully committing to sobriety and not even having the occasional beer but to be honest at this point in my life it’s not a problem. I feel no desire to go back to being a blackout drunk. The real problem is that when I stopped drinking heavily I lost all my friends. Even all my family functions revolve around heavy drinking and I don’t feel like I’m a part of it anymore. I know this is part of recovery for many people and I’m craving community. But I don’t know if I’d be accepted into something like AA because I still drink a little. And I’ve essentially overcome my addiction solo. So would it be appropriate to start in a recovery group when I’m already secure in my journey?

Sometimes I think life would be easier if I let myself fully hit rock bottom, went to rehab and got into an AA like program. I’m proud of myself for realizing the path I was on before I hit rock bottom and figuring my shit out on my own. But it’s really lonely

is it even possible to quit crack ? am i gonna be like this forever ?

Today I am almost a month sober. I would have over 5 months, but had a 1 day slip at the end of July. I went to inpatient rehab in March. I have been married for 17 years and have 2 teenage kids. My entire teenage an adult life I have used. This is literally the longest I have been sober since I was around 13. I had tried to quit on my own and had so many terrible things happen both physically and mentally while I was using, I should have done this over a decade ago, but I cannot chabge the past. Since getting out of inpatient, I have been going to 5-10 meetings a week. I have an "ok" support system in place. I have been able to do some things that I used to, but I do not feel comfortable yet in alot of situations. Going to a social gathering, with no purpose except to drink is not in the cards for me right now. Fortunately I was able to hold on to most things while going through addiction. I have been a partner in a business for 15 years that has blessed me and my family with many tangible gifts. My wife has only worked for about 4 years of our 17 year marriage, my kids get to go to good schools that I could not have freamed of. I am truly grateful for blessing of health for my family, both mind and body. This week at a meeting we were doing a study on the chapter from the wives. The meeting was all male, only by coincidance. It was very interesting to hear everyone's stories. Just like anything else, they all had the same "base" of using hurt people around us. When it was my turn to talk, I shared that I felt like my wife almost wishes I was still drinking so I would go to all of the social events with her. I told them that was not an option because I never want to feel addicted the way I was before treatment. When I got home, she asked how the meeting went, and I told her what the topic was. I shared my feeling of her almost wishing I still drank so I would be able to go to social environments with her. At that point she started crying and said that she does feel that way. She said that she knows it is selfish, but she cannot change the way she feels. I do not know how to unpack that. Things have not been great since I have been back, and they were terrible before I got help.

Sorry for the word salad, but I wanted to get some other opinions or experiences with how people may have dealt with this.

Hi! I wanted to share a little community called Beyond Surviving for anyone who might be looking for a supportive place during recovery.

We're a small Discord community built around the idea that our struggles are something we can talk about openly, but they don't have to define us.

There are spaces to talk about mental health, recovery, self-harm, eating disorders, substance abuse and other difficult things, but just as importantly, there are places for everyday life, gaming, music, pets, creativity, nature, memes and simply talking with people who understand.

One thing that's especially important to us is keeping the community recovery-focused. Graphic self-harm content isn't allowed, and we try to create an environment where people can be honest about struggling without feeling like they need to prove how badly they're struggling.

You don't have to be doing well to belong here. Bad days are welcome too. 💜

We're not professionals and nobody is expected to "fix" anyone. We're simply people supporting people, celebrating the good days and sitting beside each other through the difficult ones.

If this sounds like the kind of community you've been looking for, feel free to come by or if you have any questions then I'd be happy to answer them🦋

https://discord.gg/nQAXHZP6jf

Together we're stronger. Together we're healing.

Hi I've been clean from fentanyl crack and meth since October 3rd 2025. My life has improved greatly I am healthy and have a girlfriend that is in recovery too ( she just got one year)

She was over at my house taking a shower and I go to start a fire outside with gasoline and my shirt off. Ended up blowing myself up after stupidly lighting the wood with a lighter and no shirt on. I ran into the house telling her I think I just blew myself up. She was scared and thought I was getting high because I was having a breakdown and in severe pain. She ended up driving me to the hospital and they rushed me in. I was in so much pain they immediately asked if I want something for the pain and they gave me dilaudid which helped and then an hour later they had to debride the burn which was mainly my chest, leg and face. So they gave me some fentanyl before the debridement. I'm out of the hospital now and it's not the face that they gave me narcotics that I'm upset about it's the whole fact of the terrible decisions I made in the blink of an eye. It's been 2 days since and I just feel like shit, I'm in so much pain because my chest feels so tight. I know I'm lucky and it could have been way worse but now I'm missing work because of a stupid decision I have made. I'm gonna try and go to a meeting tmrw and life is beautiful. It's just crazy I did this with a sober mind.

Rise Above with Kevin Lanning is a recovery podcast and I Highly Highly Recommend it. Every episode is a story of hope.

Im 15 years clean from hard drugs and 18 years clean from heroin. I just wanted to share that its possible and life does get so much better.

Quitting heroin was the first really hard thing I accomplished. It gave me some confidence that I could do other hard things.

Since then Ive gotten off the streets, gotten three degrees, (although i dropped out a few times along the way), got married twice (divorced once), had children, bought a house, found a well paying job I like, (after years of shitty jobs I hated but couldnt afford to quit), been to therapy a few spells. Overall, life is really good now. Its was hard and slow to get here but worth it (and i still had lots of good times along the way). I think appreciate the little things more than some people who've had an easier go.

Life is still really hard some days and I havent figured it all out. But I know I can get through it anyways because I have before.

Anyways, Just wanted to share in case it helps some of you. Your life matters, and it's never too late.

I’m ready to get off fent. I seriously need help
I don’t really know how to start this but I’m done. I’ve been snorting around an eighth a week for probably 3/4 months now. I’m 5’8 around 200lbs if that even matters. I just want my fucking life back. I want to wake up and feel normal and not immediately think about fent or being sick.
I work TWO jobs and so much of that money just goes straight to this shit. I’ve been saving for a car and I’m willing to dip into that money if it means buying whatever I need to actually get off this. Vitamins, food, meds, whatever. I can save for the car again. I just need ME back first.
What do I actually need?? Like if you knew you were quitting next week, what would you have ready at home? What actually helped and what was a waste of money?
I have a good amount of SR-17018 tabs I bought before they shut everything down. Has anyone actually used those to get off fent? I keep seeing stuff about vitamin C too but idk if thats actually legit or internet bullshit.
And then Suboxone. I’m not against it at all, I’m just scared of precipitated withdrawal and I REALLY don’t want to be on something else forever. Can you use subs short term and taper off? Like is there an actual doctor supervised plan for that? If Suboxone is what gives me the best chance then fuck it, I’ll do it. I just want to be smart about this.
How many days do I need off work realistically? I can figure something out. I just need to PLAN this because I know myself. If I wake up sick as hell with no plan and fent is one phone call away… yeah. I know what I’m gonna do.
I know Reddit isn’t a doctor and nobody here can detox me over the internet. I just need people who have actually been through this to tell me where the hell I start. Website, subreddit, doctor, whatever. Point me somewhere.
I’m just tired y’all. I want my money back. I want to buy my fucking car. I want to work because I’m building something for myself instead of working my ass off just to afford being addicted.
I KNOW I can be who I want to be without this shit holding me back. I just need to get there.
Please help me. Seriously. I’m ready.

From primarily meth, kratom, benzos and even though I’m able to get to work it still feels hopeless. Please give me advice yall. Much love to everyone! Thanks

Update: You guys motivated me to go to my first meeting tonite! Thank you for the kind words, I knew deep inside I just needed a small push but sometimes I forget the bigger picture. I appreciate yall for helping me on a day that started terribly but ended up being amazing. ❤️ I plan on going tomorrow.

I’ve been sober for multiple months twice in my life. The first time, I made it 10 months.
For the most part, I had my life together. I thought I understood addiction. I thought I had figured out how to balance my life and control the disease.
Relapse doesn’t have to be part of everyone’s recovery, but unfortunately, it became part of mine.
My first relapse wasn’t even my drug of choice. It was one Tito’s and soda at dinner with my now wife. I didn’t binge. I didn’t crash a car. I didn’t immediately crave another drink. I finished it, ordered water, went home with my wife, and went to sleep.

BOOM. I was cured. I beat addiction. Problem solved.
Or at least, that’s what I told myself.
So when my wife told me she was going to Vegas with her best friend for a week, my first thought was the pipe. I couldn’t wait until she left.
On October 31st, I called an old girl I knew had some. Before I left her hotel room, I asked for a hit.
The weirdest part was the way she looked at me. She told me, “You look really good. Are you sober?”
I lied and said no, I just couldn’t find anything.
She told me she didn’t feel good about giving it to me… and then passed me the pipe anyway.
That one hit lasted me 10 months.
Ten months of lies, struggles, dirt, disgust, and every other dark part of addiction. My wife didn’t find out until the last month of my use. By then, I was on personal leave from work because of “stress” and in a severe downward spiral.
The last two weeks were the lowest point of my life. Maybe one day I’ll share more about the demons I faced during that time.
I checked into rehab on August 27th, 2025. My first day sober was August 28th.

This weekend, I was tempted out of nowhere.
My wife was out of town with her girlfriends. The first morning she was gone, I went to the gym. While I was there, I got a text from an unknown number:
“Yo, it’s Lz. I’m back down.”
Lz had just gotten out of jail and was someone I could have easily gotten drugs from. The gym was right down the street from his house.
So many thoughts went through my head.
I texted back, “Welcome home. God bless you. I hope all is well,” and deleted his number.
Of course, he texted back.
I prayed about the situation and then told him how healthy I’ve been and that I’m coming up on a year sober. He congratulated me and said he had seen me on Facebook and could tell.
I prayed for him, deleted the thread, and kept moving forward.
I’m not sure exactly how I made it through that moment. To the average person, this might not seem like a major success.
But every addict reading this knows.

I won that day.
I had the opportunity. I had the access. I had the old connections. And for once, when addiction came knocking, I didn’t open the door.
I hope this can serve as a reminder to anyone struggling: temptation doesn’t mean you’ve failed. A craving doesn’t erase your progress. Sometimes the biggest victory is simply making the next right decision.
One day at a time. I won that day. And today, I’m choosing to win again.

Ok, have a family member staying with me. They just broke their leg and we are helping them until they land back on their feet--literally and figuratively.

They have a strong history of substance abuse, trauma, prison time, and poor mental health.

They got prescribed vicoden and it's not helping probably because of their history. Soooo right now they are mostly screaming at us about the pain they are in, and how the meds aren't working, and they hate us. And demanding we go get cigarettes or a vape pen or something.

I don't think it's a problem because they have been smoking for a long time, so it's unlikely to be the thing that triggers a relapse, and it will at least help with pain even if it means a slightly longer recovery time. My wife is terrified that this will be THE thing that causes a serious relapse and doesn't want to be the one enabling.

Anyone have any thoughts here? Looking for legit insights.

What are your favourite things to do (especially in the evenings) to keep yourself busy/distracted/sober?

I'm trying to get sober, and I'm finding that evenings are a huge trigger for me. All my friends head out to drink & do drugs. If I don't have plans for the evenings then I end uo heading out. A few drinks always turns into 20+ and whatever drugs I can get my hands on.

I'm working on my mental health and the reason behind my addiction, but right now I need to focus on keeping my days busy. I can't work or study right now, unfortunately. I do try to spend time at cafés, reading, watching TV, baking, going for walks. What else could I be doing to occupy my time? What are your favourite ways to stay busy in the evening?