She’s insisted that this girlfriend would never bring any substances into our house so I shouldn’t care. I’ve established over and over again that I’m still not comfortable with it. I’ve offered that if she was 30 days clean I would be totally welcoming. Well yesterday evening, she texted me out of no where that she was bringing said girlfriend over. I responded with “okay i’m not going to say i’m happy about it.” and than, “i’m just gonna sit at culver’s til your done.”

she said, “That's crazy.”

I explained how much this affects me and how much I struggle and suggested that I would probably need to find a new roommate if this is going to be the situation.

I don’t think I’m crazy or unreasonable for not wanting someone in active addiction in my house. Especially because her and I share the same drug of choice. If I saw, heard, found, detected anything — it would be over for me.

One more piece of context: this roommate is my best friend in the world

Looking for thoughts, opinions, and advice.

Sorry if this is the wrong sub reddit for this.

Thanks!!

UPDATE/RESPONSE:

I hear you all! I mostly agree with everything everyone has said here, though I wish some would have said it more emphatically haha.

This does inspire me to take things into my own hands, clarity to know that I’m not justified to make such a request, that it’s on me to safeguard myself, and that I’ve probably been a little brainwashed by NA to think I am “powerless to my addiction”.

A few things to add to that: I do think I’d have a hard time not relapsing if I saw coke in my house — maybe that means I need to “grow a pair,” but it is my reality for now; I did relapse this last weekend after 127 days, which is what triggered my harsh opinion on this; no we didn’t agree to have a drug free home before moving in together; no I don’t trust a coke addict to NOT bring drugs into my house, but I hear you all that it’s my responsibility to protect myself (she has prescribed that label to herself); and most of all, I am inspired by all of your success stories, especially the poster who wrote about working in a bar and staying sober. If you can do that, I can stay sober with someone in active addiction coming into my home.

I’m glad I found this sub reddit. I’ve found a lot of insight diving into these posts.

After reading your responses I become more level headed & my roommate and I have agreed to discuss some kind of compromise that works for both of us.

I am trying to get off of 7OH as it and SR17 are illegal in California now, and can't find online sources. I was at approx 50 mg per day 7OH and 25 mg of SR-17018 and had really bad 24 hours after running out during my home detox. I think these are relatively low doses.

I did an online appointment and was prescribed Suboxone 4mg x 3 times per day for one week to start and states treatment is 4 to 5 months. This seams long to me as I was only on opiods for 8 months.

I do not want to get addicted to suboxone. I want to try to get by on 4 mg per day or less total by taking quarter strips or 1mg when symptoms appear. Do people get addicted or experience withdraw symptoms from Suboxone if taken for only two weeks? Were talking about maybe 28 mg the first week and 14 mg total the second week? I did not sleep last night and don't feel like I will tomorrow either so I need something.

I was thinking of a sechedule like, 4 mg per day for one week folllowed by a 20% reuduction during each day of the second week. If I can get by on less, I will.

How culty is this. Total mind control. Just give up your analytical thought process , bend over and take it like a Stepford Mom. Don't forget to wear that big smile while you're at it. Fuck Aa

Help!

F23, was in active addiction for 5 years, sober nearly 4 months… from alcohol and coke and other things that is. I did have a few tokes on a mates spliff at a big party a few days ago. I don’t regret doing it, but I will say I’m NOT counting that as a relapse. NA has told me I must abstain from any and all.

I don’t think, in my case, that’s wrong. For now at least. My cravings are worse now. I do in fact want to go pick up some bud. I won’t do it. But the feelings and thoughts aren’t nice to deal with. So yeah, I’m not ready to have a casual spliff yet. I might never be. Doing it and realising actually this isn’t for me and I do have to be careful was important for me i think though. This of course made me contemplate getting to some meetings. But I know if I talk about it they’ll consider that a relapse and I’m back at 2 days. I just don’t think that’s how I want to look at it.

That brings me to meetings in general. I can’t stand the almost group self flagellation circle jerk of it all. I picked up some benefits going. A sense of accomplishment sometimes, hearing stories of others in recovery was inspiring. But a lot of the time it’s just a massive downer.

You’ll never recover without the steps. You have to be in meetings at all times when possible or you’ll relapse. You will feel guilty, embarrassed, worthless, ‘powerless’. To me, they feel cult like and depressing. Too focussed on all our failings and not our successes.

The idea you have to be powerless to your addiction and admit that… no can do. Painting it in that light for me is as good as giving me the green like to go grab a 3.5 and snort my weekend away. I have to believe I have the power to overcome my addiction myself. I’m not handing my ‘defects’ off to a higher power. And I am a spiritual person. In this case, it feels like a cop out.

That being said, help! I need advice on how to navigate my recovery without loads of meetings. Any success stories you might have personally or otherwise. The steps seemed promising, and I do well with routine, they’re just too rigid. And questioning them is just the addiction talking, isn’t it!

When I overdosed after lunch one day after lunchtime in July of 2022. Only treatment was my next step to living again. After 42 years of selfishness and thinking I knew everything. It was hot out and I went for it. Then it came for me. When I came to, there were 3 god sends standing in front of me. Narcan is how they brought me back from the brink of death. I was one of the lucky ones. Hence I’ve been clean a little over 4 years and counting. And no, I don’t need to test my resilience with one more gain. I’m here to bring attention to what happens to countless victims of this disease who are no longer here. Overdose awareness is everyday 24/7 365.
Be careful out there people because the life you save, may very well be your own.

Hi, i'm curious, during addiction what made it difficult for you to say no when a person offers a drug or alcohol? I mean other than the addiction / urge its self? anxiety? people knowing you had a addiction? cultural ?

I know it’s a lot of information, but I’m dealing with some serious things and I had to share all.

Hey everyone. I’m 28F. I used cocaine maybe 5 times in my life when I was around 23. After that I was really into bodybuilding, working out and eating healthy.
Now I’m 28, and I’ve been using cocaine and alcohol every day since May( about 4 months). I moved to a new country and the small city I live in is very touristy, lots of parties, nightclubs and nightlife.

I work two jobs as a waitress, I still try my best and cocaine is very easy for me to get because a close friend I met here also uses every day. He’s 43. He drinks maybe one beer and does 1–3 lines a day. I drink much more. Usually 2–5 cocktails or a bottle of wine. Sometimes only 2 glasses, sometimes 4–5.
5-8 lines a day but I do by little doses.

I’ve realized I’m addicted. I have a lot of mental trauma and sometimes feel like I want to hurt myself, suffer, or punish myself.

I use even when I’m alone and sometimes even at work or wherever I am.
I’ve definitely been affected by the lifestyle. For the last month, I’ve been sleeping only 3–5 hours a night, sometimes 6 at most. I also tried crystal meth and I use it about twice a week.

What scares me is that physically I don’t feel many changes yet. I’ve only really noticed that I lost some weight. I know that doesn’t mean I’m okay, and I’m worried I’ll continue until I develop a serious health problem.
I also never know exactly what I’m getting with cocaine. Sometimes it seems good and rarely but still it feels completely different.
How do you stop when it has become a habit? Some days I genuinely don’t even want to use. My body doesn’t feel like it needs it, but my mind says, “I haven’t taken anything today, so why not start with a little?”

Should I seek professional help or try to quit by myself? I know the longer I continue, the harder it will be to stop, but I honestly want to hear how serious this situation sounds from people who have experienced addiction.

I also struggle with feeling worthless and feeling like I deserve to suffer or destroy myself because of my trauma. People often say nice things about me, and many people have even told me I should be a model because of my good appearance and height, but I think about myself differently. I had hard life..
I want to hear from people who have experienced addiction, especially cocaine, alcohol, or other drugs. I’m not looking for judgment. I want honest advice from people who understand.

One more important thing: I’ve overdosed twice before. I don’t even want to remember those days. I wouldn’t wish that experience on my worst enemy. But I’m still using.
I know I need to do something before this gets worse. I just don’t know where to start.

My girlfriend of 13 years recently dumped me with a no-contact order, and I have no other friends, so loneliness has been weighing on me.

In a desperate attempt to meet new people, I tried a local meeting. Everything about it was as gross as I recalled. The cultish chanted responses, the people saying creepy/crazy stuff ("god sends me messages in my head"), the people all looking low-energy, etc.

Social isolation sucks, but it still beats being in those rooms.

BTW I am 62 days sober.

I was super addicted to h most of my life. I got away from that for six years using subs but now I struggle with meth 7 OH and drinking and lately all I think about is what I can be like at my full potential living a clean honest life. I want it so bad and today I finally decided I would start. Anyways, for people that have been clean a while, what do you do with your free time? What hobbies have you picked up? I have adhd and my mind is always on the move

I was thinking about this the other day how mindboggling / fucked up it is for them to ingrain in your brain that if you not follow their cult that this is what will happen to you.

Well guess what it did not happen. And im also free of the other bullshit they told me.

Thank god. Rant over

I am so glad I stumbled upon this. Sober 122 days and I tried AA but I want to move on. I’m an alcoholic but that is not who I am as a human being. I hate having to label yourself at meetings. It’s like they want you to be stuck talking about alcohol and drinking. How is attending AA meetings the answer to everything; people in recovery are there for a reason unresolved mental health issues, etc. I just don’t understand the cult like feeling of AA meetings. Thanks for letting me rant.

This guy’s videos have started showing up on my feed. He says he’s wife died of AUD. She fell down the stairs at rehab. But whatever. Anyway, he’s an insurance salesman who apparently decided a better way to earn a living was to become a counselor to people with alcohol issues and the family. I can’t see what qualifies him to do that. I guess he thinks his experience with his wife qualifies him. He frequently says he’s not telling her story to disparage her. But he seems to get a lot of pleasure airing her dirty laundry. Judging by the stories he tells he was a lousy husband. But of course he doesn’t see it that way.
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