My best friend rents a room from me in my flat. We’re very close but I have noticed that she’s extremely oblivious when it comes to household stuff. After living together since November, I’m starting to feel like I don’t want to live with her anymore.

I’m quite tidy and like the communal areas kept nice. She has a much higher tolerance for mess and often seems not to notice things unless someone points them out.

Examples (bear with me, I know some of it will sound minor, but it compounds).

• She leaves dry laundry, on the clothes horse in our lounge, for days. Like 5 days until I move it or she does a new load of laundry. I consider this to be an eyesore, and my parents often ask why they have to look at her underwear hanging there when they come in.
• Empty glasses can sit around for days/a week, dishes sit in the sink for days, and she leaves rubbish, matcha powder and berry juice around the kitchen without cleaning it. She also creates small marks in the carpet with this stuff.
• She repeatedly removes the grate from the kitchen drain despite me explaining multiple times that it prevents blockages from food.
• Last winter she repeatedly dried wet laundry inside with no ventilation despite me explaining my concerns about moisture/mould. It took several reminders before she stopped.
• She leaves heaters, lights and TVs on unnecessarily. Last winter the electricity bill was very high, and I sometimes went without heating my own room because I was worried about the cost. She pays a flat rent including bills, so I absorb the extra cost. Last winter she left heaters on whilst out of the house, AND left her electric blanket on in her bed and left the house. Which is obviously a waste of money AND a fire hazard...
• She has taken my belongings out of the flat without asking (jacket, charger, bathroom products), used my alcohol with friends while I wasn't there, and two of my four wine glasses have disappeared while I was away. She admitted breaking one and said she'd replace it, but hasn't yet.
• Once, while I was away for 24 hours, she tidied the lounge before her birthday and threw away a box I had left on the sofa arm that same day. It contained a birthday present I'd bought for my sister, so I had to buy it again. It's comical that the only time she has really been seen to make an effort to tidy up, she puts my belongings in the bin. 
• She repeatedly leaves hot styling tools, like straighteners and curlers, unattended. In the last week alone, she left an iron switched on for around 15 minutes while she went off to do other things, and another time after finished ironing, went into her bedroom and got into bed while it was still on and plugged in. When I asked if she'd finished with it 1 minute later, she said she'd unplugged it (spoiler alert: it hadn't been unplugged). 

There are other things but these are the most repeating behaviours.

She did the same kind of thing at my boyfriend’s house, she made herself a drink, spilled a sticky drink on his counter, left it there and left the rubbish behind. He was so bothered by it that he no longer wants her at his house.

I genuinely think she doesn't notice these things or forgets conversations.

She has nowhere else to go at the moment, so moving out isn't really an option. And regarding the electricity bills, yes, I could ask her to contribute more, but it's difficult when you know your friend is broke.

Am I being unreasonable, or would most people find this exhausting to live with? And if someone is genuinely this oblivious rather than malicious, how do you actually get them to change when you've already explained the same things multiple times?

One of my co-worker leaves the communal microwave door wide open, which led me to ask her if she does it intentionally and why. I feel like it’s a weird thing to leave open in a communal space. It’s like leaving cabinets or your car door open. (yes I know the comparison is a bit extreme lol)

But all my other co-workers agreed that it was strange to do and we debated it. Just wondering what everyone else’s thoughts were.

I’m not here to vent. I’m genuinely feeling very uncomfortable and scared in my room right now.

The only thing I know is that she has a bf, and she has many supporters if she decides to do something to me.

I don’t really have anyone I can turn to, and that’s what scares me the most. I keep thinking, if something actually happened, who would I even go to for help?

I don’t want to overreact, but I also don’t want to ignore my fear until something happens.

I just want to ask what precautions I should take.

PLEASE HELP.

Some of you probably remember my weird situation from the few times I've posted here.

Today I came home from work to a surprise staged right in front of the door: a five-drawer dresser. He found it somewhere, brought it upstairs, and positioned it in the middle of the foyer so I'd see it the second I walked in. In the top drawer, he put a dry-erase board with "Heyy" written in the top margin.

When I took the board out, there was another message all the way at the bottom: "want it? paint, decorate or use as rage room. it's free!"

The way he spaced out the notes so I'd only see the top greeting peeking just above the drawer's edge, combined with the exact angle facing the door, made it obvious he spent time making micro-adjustments to get the sightline right from my perspective. Honestly, that's something he does a lot.

I never asked for a dresser. I'm used to living like I could move out at any time and I really like the portability, so heavy wooden furniture feels kind of permanent to me.

Is this unusual? Have any of you ever gotten surprise furniture from your roommate?

Hi everyone, I am currently in college living on campus. However, I am a graduate student and I am not enjoying it. I couldn't get an apartment at the time due to financial reasons. However, I was given this opportunity now. Its a 3 bed 2 bath apartment, shared with two other people, but I do not know them. It is a sub lease type of situation, so I would be an add-on to the lease.

Here is my concern, and a concern my mom brought up. What happens if a roomate decides to not pay their rent, and does that for multiple months, what does that mean for the other tenants? I looked it up, and it said that I would be required to pay what needs to be made up, so I could be paying more than I should be paying because one person decides to not pay. I wanted to ask if I should go forward with the apartment, or should I drop it. My mom thinks I will be put in a risky financial situation. This is not a rent by room type of deal, it is a split rent deal.

There is a profile in roomies.com, base at Brampton peels region. Name is An-Nur, stay away from this person. You will pay first and last month and after like a month or two he will find every excuse to make you pay some random bill stating you broke the door,you did this and that and if you don’t pay for these even if you are not the person that did it he will kick you out and change the lock and steal from you. I reported to the police and apparently he has done it to many people and many people have reported him for this. He is always in search of room mate.
He lives at Villadown trail

Three roommates rent a 3-bedroom house for $2,680/month.
Two of the bedrooms are standard bedrooms, similar in size, and share one bathroom. The third is the master bedroom. The master bedroom is roughly twice the size of the standard bedrooms, has a significantly larger walk-in closet, and has its own private bathroom that is also substantially larger than the bathroom the other two roommates share.
Before we found the house, one roommate said she wanted to take the master in whatever house we ended up choosing and was willing to pay more for it. We didn’t determine an exact dollar amount at that point because we hadn’t actually chosen a house yet and didn’t know what the difference between the rooms would be.
Once we chose the house, we settled on this split:
Room 1: $854
Room 2: $854
Master + private bathroom: $972

We’ve been using this split since moving in. However, the roommate in the master has indirectly expressed a few times since then that she feels the split is unfair to her.
I’m curious what people with no involvement in the situation think. Ignoring how the split was decided and looking only at the rooms and numbers, does this seem fair? If you were dividing $2,680 between these three rooms, what would you charge for each?

ETA: Thank you everyone for the responses! I honestly thought the split was reasonable, but I needed the sanity check to make sure I wasn’t completely off base.
To answer a question I’ve gotten a lot: yes, I absolutely would have taken the master for $972, or even somewhat more. The problem is that before we had even found a house, I had already agreed that she could take the master because she said she wanted it and would pay more. At that point, none of us knew what the rooms would look like or what the actual price difference would be.
Once we found this house, she initially suggested paying about $60 more than the other two rooms. I did say that I didn’t think $60 was enough given the significant difference in the rooms. Ultimately, the three of us settled on the current $854/$854/$972 split. Part of the reasoning was that the exact amount probably should have been discussed between all three of us beforehand, and I had already agreed that she could have the master. So regardless of whether I could have gotten a better deal, we agreed on these numbers and I’m not interested in changing them now.
There are only about five months left on the lease anyway, and I genuinely don’t care if I’m getting the slightly worse end of the rent split. The reason I posted now is because she has recently brought up potentially splitting our electric bill differently based on usage. I generally keep the upstairs around 73–75 during the day, while she keeps the downstairs around 79, and she feels that because she’s actively conserving electricity, she shouldn’t necessarily have to pay the same share.
Before I decide how I feel about that or respond to it, I wanted to make sure I wasn’t already putting an unfair share of the household expenses on her through our rent split. I wasn’t looking for justification to raise her rent or change our agreement. I really just wanted an outside perspective on whether the original split was reasonable before I handled a separate money issue. Based on the responses, I feel a lot better knowing I wasn’t screwing her over. Thank you for the reality check!

Hi, have 2 roommates in my new apt, but one roommate is really bad about sharing communal items. Ive been moving things into my room as she proves she can’t use them. I usually tell her how to use/clean an item if I see it’s a mistake, and after a few reminders it goes bye bye.

Problem is I hate bringing the stuff to my room. I don’t have the storage for it, and keeping my kitchen stuff in my room is inconvenient and a bug magnet (issue in our building.)

I also like her as a person- there’s no beef or tension beyond this.

And I want to keep my items available for the roommate who is respectful. Especially since some of this stuff is like, the bathroom hand soap.

I know the roommate whos breaking things cant help it, she has ocd and her compulsions want her do do things a certain way (which is usually the wrong way that messes with my stuff- but that’s normal for ocd.) I don’t want to “call her out” like that, I just want to find a good peace so I’m not being the passive aggressive roommate.

Hi I am a professional 20m I travel for work but will be in the southern Minnesota for the next while and am looking for some place to stay or a roommate to get a place with. I am clean and out going don’t drink or smoke and pretty laid back. If your interested msg me and I hope we can get something going.

After leaving college, I was surprised by how many people think they can claim whatever shared space they want in a shared apartment.

Almost all of my roommates, severely expanded the areas they had once their roommates moved out but all the while knowing another person was moving in.

My first grad student dorm was a 2 bd designed where everything could be split equally. My former roommate spent the 2 months before I moved filling every shared nook and cranny with crap. The bathroom, fridge, kitchen cabinets, even the floor space was overflowing with her stuff. Some things where her old roommate’s stuff that she wanted to keep but never used. Needless to say that she was a bad roommate.

Now I’m subletting. I didn’t mind the no bathroom space for my items. But, the fridge has 3 shelves to be split three ways. The shelves were moved so all shelves except mine had double the height. My shelves is no more than 4.5 inches high and can’t even fit a soda bottle standing. The fridge is loaded with stuff so it’s a full effort to equalize the heights. I didn’t mind because it’s only a 2 month sublet.

But now, I found out that new girl is moving in, my subletter ended her lease. This makes me mad. The poor girl moving in tomorrow will have to fight and beg for fridge, freezer, and bathroom space all the while paying equal rent.

Also these roommates were not at all clean and couldn’t keep up with on time cleaning.

Sorry for the rant, but I could never take all of the shared space in an apartment and I’m surprised by how common it is.

Me and my best friend moved in together but I have noticed she has been acting and treating me differently and we don’t see eye to eye on things. First we have very different styles and I feel like every time I turn down the decor or whatever she wants in the house, she gets annoyed. But I’m talking like she wants to put up giant beer posters and vintage antique mirrors that are rusted for like $200. She is a bartender and I work 9-5 so we have very different lifestyles. She comes home from work late and is drunk almost daily and I sleep early n stuff. I feel like I come off at boring to her. She also doesn’t seem to want to spend time with me. She puts on shows she only watches and I just have to sit there n not enjoy it instead of us watching together.

She gets upset about the utilities n how they r so high and I feel like she’s blaming me. She said my boyfriend takes long showers but he only comes over once a week and maybe has a shower that day. There is no ways that half out hydro bill is due to one of his showers. She doesn’t clean up or anything so I do most things and she gets upset when I ask her to help. Also she complains about utilities yet she goes shopping like no other and spend all her money on alcohol. She even bought an art piece from a homeless man for $200 on the side of the road that looks interesting and still complains about utilities. Once we got into a fight bc I worked 8 hrs plus stayed up 5 hours doing more work and left the oven on. I am kinda upset and tired of this. I also struggle with money but I feel like she makes it all my fault.

She also treats me poorly when she is feeling down. When she has a bad day I have to have a bad day too and she is mean to me and snippy. She ignores me or calls our other best friend in-front of me and leaves me out of the conversation and makes plans and ignores what I have to say. I feel like she thinks I’m a square and boring person even though I jsut try my best to make money and live a wholesome life. She also hates my bf for some reason which makes no sense cus she’s only been nice to him and she always makes side comments about him being too clean or using skin care is cringe. Idk maybe I’m looking into it too much.

I am looking to rent out 3 rooms to Nudist in SWFL Port Charlotte area in Feb 2027, $700 per room, all inclusive, no last or security. Any advice on how to find them and if this is a good idea?

Please help 😩

Genuine question because I’m building something for shared flats and this is the feature people seem to react to the most

Basically if someone leaves the kitchen messy, doesn’t take the bins out etc, you could send something like “please do the dishes” to the household without it showing who sent it (anonymously)

Part of me thinks this solves that awkward situation where nobody wants to be the one constantly nagging or being the annoying flatmate

But the other part of me thinks four people would immediately start anonymously terrorising each other 😭

If you lived with roommates, would you actually use this or would you hate it?

My son and his roommate use this for keeping track of shared expenses, and its turning out to be one of the better use cases for something I originally built for group trips.

Rent related stuff, groceries, utilities, takeout, random shared purchases... all the little things that are easy to forget.

Its called SpendBulb. The main thing I wanted was no friction - no login needed, everything can stay locally in the browser, and it works offline.