r/selectivemutism • u/WindH8er • 14d ago

Question Is it selective mutism if

My child barely talked at preschool (only if I was present or when answering direct questions). He attended summer programs at that same school and talked no problem but his sister was with him for those classes.

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u/Key_Disk_5638 Parent/Caregiver of SM child 14d ago

It's possible, yes, but without additional information, I don't think we can fully tell.

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u/Nalululemon 14d ago

Possibly. My kiddo was barely talking in preschool, it started as whispers almost 1.5 years in, then her sisters started and she was talking a little more. Then she went to kinder and would talk a little more and more, now she isn’t shy. She has described her throat “locking” up in certain situations where she physically can’t talk though.

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u/WindH8er 13d ago

Did you do any therapy with her?

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u/Nalululemon 13d ago

Nope, we tried OT for behavior for maybe 2 months and that’s when we discovered the SM. We encouraged her to talk but also didn’t put pressure on her. We read books like Maya’s voice to help her know it’s okay to be shy. We also didn’t tell her it was SM. We just said you’re shy and that’s okay. We chose a school that was very small (5 kids) for preschool and we invited friends over to our house because it was her safe place. We also made silly games to get her to talk and it worked a little bit to break her out of her shell. For kindergarten I found a very small school too and she made friends with another girl who was shy and they both talk a ton now.

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u/Nalululemon 13d ago

I will say keeping them with the sibling will help them gain confidence and help them see “if my sister can talk, I can too.” We did that with my oldest with her sisters for a summer program her preschool offered and she gained confidence and started talking a little more. Within a few weeks she was talking after previously not talking at all for 2 years at preschool. If we went to another place like the gym, she wouldn’t talk either but started talking at preschool. She’d ask her siblings to talk for her. The siblings are younger than her for reference, she is the oldest. But after being in school together she improved so much. She only occasionally says she feels like she can’t talk and that’s when she’s called on in class