S*xual avoidance(?)

[u/swaize__]

I don't know if I can post this here but I really just need help. I (20M) have a really hard time with sex even though I love having it. I just recently got out of a pretty shitty relationship and I don't know if that's why this is happening? But it happened in that last relationship too...

Does anyone else feel like there's a difference between asking for sex VS someone giving it to you without asking? My partner and I got into a discussion about it and it sent me into a panic. I refuse to ask for sex because in my mind if my partner wanted to they would, so why should I ask? It feels disingenuous when I ask for sexual favours to be done to me because it feels like I'm forcing them to do it, and the act itself doesn't feel as good to me or it sends me into a panic attack. But only when I ask for favours. If my partner decided on their own to do whatever to me I'd be fine, but if I asked for the same exact thing it would freak me out.

I fell asleep before my partner last night while waiting for them to come to bed because earlier they had said they would go down on me, but I ended up falling asleep and woke up a few hours later in a pissed off mood. We talked about it in the morning and they didn't understand why I felt like that. They tried going down on me after we talked about it but it sent me into a panic (because we had been talking about it and to me it felt like I was forcing them(?)) they tried reassuring me before they went to work but now I'm here still panicking and I just want to know why.

I don't know why and it's really freaking me out... I know a lot of my self confidence/self worth is tied to my sex life but wouldn't that just mean I'd be wanting to take everything I could? I'm so confused and I hate thinking like this

If I can't post this here then it can be deleted I just really need support or someone who knows anything on why I feel like that...

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