r/stopdrinking • u/Low_Maintnance • 1d ago

Had relapse

Sorry, I meant, Im having a relapse.

I'm bipolar, have Cerebral Palsy. Been self medication with alcohol for many years. I don't know how long probably around 15 years. Been relapsing on average once a year. The last three years more frequently. Been in detox 5-6 times over three years. Also four month treatment.Tried Antabuse last year that made me extremely depressed. Started taking it again in detox, but it gave me fatigue. I'm out of options to keep me from drinking

One of my biggest problems is that because of my health issues I can't work so I'm trying to fill a void. Yes I have been volunteering, met friends, but still isolate myself and turn to alcohol anyways. Iits weird because I'm very outgoing and love being around ppl. Im my own worst enemy. I dont want to bother my friends with my problems. Another cause of me turning to alcohol. I feel so alone

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u/Terrible-Ad4045 1d ago

Yo I understand I feel so lonely too. I don't have the medical problems you do which I get why you turned to alcohol but I do have mental health issues. Same thing I turned alcohol when I developed them. It's just hard when you're alone. Right now I'm on day 5 of sobriety turn off your brain for a couple of hours I get it if you don't want to turn to your friends turn to me I'm here to listen

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u/Pleasant-Gas-6935 Day 40 1d ago

Sounds like maybe you are not as alone as you think! Hopefully more folks will share their time with you. It's so easy to self medicate with alcohol, but it is NOT good medicine. You may have already heard about the AA Big Book, but if even you do or don't get put off by the spiritual angle - it is well worth the read and might help keep you going. I truly believe it helped me a lot and I haven't been to a meeting (yet). I will be glad to listen if I can.