Ever since I was five years old, my mom had enrolled me in swimming lessons. For me, there were nine levels, and after that, there were lifeguard courses, like Bronze Medallion and etc.
I've been swimming for years. I am now 14 years old, turning fifteen, and now I absolutely hate it. When the levels got more competitive, like timed swims or lifting up a weighted brick from the bottom of the pool, I dreaded going to lessons because I absolutely hated it. Every time I swam, I felt like throwing up, and I felt my throat closing up. I also have asthma if that has anything to do with it. But I also feel emotionally nauseous and it feels draining to even think about it.
Once I finished level nine two years ago, I haven't swum properly since then. Now my mom is pushing me to do Bronze Medallion, and I feel sick. I can't physically do timed eight laps, and every time someone asks me to go for a swim, I recoil and refuse. I can't describe how nauseous I feel when I think about it.
I don't know. I know my mom is going to pressure me into being a lifeguard anyway, but I just don't know how I could face the pool again because of how much I don't like it. How can I get rid of this feeling?
Edit: I tried talking to my mom about it, but she refused to accept that I don't want to swim. She had actually planned the Bronze Medallion course already, and I'm already enrolled. Today, I had my first lesson, and I'm really behind everyone else. I told the instructor that I have asthma and that I didn't feel comfortable doing the full-distance swim, so he said to at least try.
But thirty minutes before the swim started, I felt really nauseous about it, so I called my mom to pick me up. She reluctantly agreed, but she said I had to try the distance swim again during my next lesson. I think my mom has this hidden belief that I'm just being dramatic and that I'll actually be fine and pass because now she keeps telling me how she's going to buy me whatever I want when I pass or that when I pass this week, we'll go to a restaurant. She's been using the word "when" I pass instead of "if," and now I feel horrible because I know I won't.